Heartbreaker (Filthy Dirty Love #1)

by Stacey Kennedy

  “Yes.” She tried to slow her heart rate.

  He lifted off her, leaning on one of his arms, and arched that brow of his again. “I do believe I deserve to be thanked, don’t you?”

  She chuckled, sure he was joking. When his firm expression greeted her, she realized he was dead serious. She had some hesitation, yet at the same time, she thanked a waiter for a good meal. Maddox had feasted on her to perfection, making her feel far more amazing than any waiter would. She leaned up and pressed her lips against his. “Thank you for my orgasm.”

  When she leaned away, power flared in his eyes. “Thank you for my orgasm, what?”

  She lifted her head off the bed again and kissed his strong mouth, knowing precisely what he wanted by his authoritative tone. “Thank you for my orgasm, sir.”

  “Pretty little things from a pretty little mouth.” The tip of his tongue slid across the edge of her bottom lip. “Keep talking like that, Joss, and I might think you’re perfect.”

  She threaded her hands into his hair, holding him close. “Keep touching me like you do, and I might think you are, too.”

  Chapter 7

  The next morning, after leaving Maddox’s house late the night before, Joss woke up happy and satisfied in her bed. She had spent the morning running errands and then enjoyed an afternoon of shopping with Emilia. By the time she entered her condo minutes before 5:00 p.m., she was glad to be home and unlocked the door with a smile. Sure, her yellow-brick house in the Fremont neighborhood was tiny, being only eleven hundred square feet, but it had an awesome private, brick patio out back. She also never had to cut her grass, or shovel her driveway the once or twice a year the city got snow.

  Once Emilia had followed her inside, Joss shut the door and dropped her purse onto the small table by the door. She was so ready to enjoy a few hours of girl time before heading into the night shift. Of all the shifts, the night shift was her least favorite and the hardest on her body, but when Tommy needed a couple more days off due to his mother’s surgery, how could Joss say no?

  As Emilia kicked off her shoes, she asked, “So, then, after he went down on you, you left?”

  Joss laughed and shook her head, unzipping her boots. Her best friend had been stuck on Joss’s sexy night for half an hour now. “Yes, I left.” She moved past Emilia and headed toward the kitchen at the end of the hallway. “I’m not sure why this concept is so hard for you to understand. He rocked my world. Then I kissed him goodbye and went home to sleep.”

  “But did he say anything before you left?” Emilia asked, right on Joss’s heels as she moved to her black countertop.

  Joss grabbed two glasses out of the cupboard then turned back to Emilia with a grin. “He said, ‘Thank me for your orgasm.’”

  Emilia’s eyes widened and twinkled. “And you thanked him?”

  “Of course, I did. It wasn’t that hard. Nick never made me orgasm. Not once in the entire time we were together. The only time I got off was when I helped him. I will happily thank Maddox until I’m blue in the face if he keeps doing all the things he’s doing.”

  Emilia blinked. “Then what happened?”

  “He kissed me silly, slapped my ass, and sent me on my way.”

  “Jesus Christ, that’s so hot.” Emilia sagged against the countertop, fanning herself.

  Joss burst out laughing. “Right? He’s like an erotic dream come true.” She approached the fridge and took out the jug of iced tea and set to filling their glasses. “I honestly wouldn’t have believed a man could breathe passion like a dragon breathes fire, but Maddox does. It’s like sex pours out of him. I’ve never seen anything like it. He’s filthy and dirty, but it isn’t creepy, it’s just fucking sexy.”

  Emilia’s mouth twitched. “Maybe we should introduce Maddox to Troy.” She put down the grocery bag containing the cupcakes they’d picked up at the bakery on the corner. “Seriously, I need some of this excitement and orgasms in my life.”

  “Oh, yeah, I can only imagine how that will go. ‘Hey, Troy, meet Maddox. We think he should teach you a thing or two about sex.’” She laughed, placing the cap back on the jug. “Could you imagine?”

  “Well, no,” Emilia said with a shudder. “Troy would never forgive me. But still, maybe I should go get lingerie or something.”

  Joss waggled her eyebrows. “And maybe some rope, too.”

  “Oh my God.” Emilia burst out laughing, grabbing the box of cupcakes out of the bag. “I’m not sure we’re ready to take things to that level. Right now, I’d be happy with a spank or two.”

  Joss returned the iced tea jug to the fridge, realizing how much she liked that Maddox was at that level. She didn’t think there was anything wrong with what Emilia had. She and Troy were perfect for each other, and Joss knew they had a good sex life and a very loving relationship. But explosive, mind-blowing, rock-your-fucking-world-apart sex, Joss was sure they probably didn’t have that.

  Once Emilia had placed two cupcakes on a plate, Joss followed her into the living room with the iced teas in hand, and Emilia asked, “All right, so tell me…do you just have sex and leave, or is there cuddling and talking, too?”

  “We cuddled and talked a little last night.”

  “And that’s not weird for you?” Emilia asked, taking a seat on the couch and placing the plate on the wooden coffee table. “To be honest, I can’t really picture you being so okay with something so detached. You’re always so open and honest.”

  Joss dropped down next to her friend, placing the glasses down next to the plate while she pondered. Last night, Maddox had questioned her reasons for sleeping with him. Now Emilia did, too? Why couldn’t everyone get on board with the idea? “We’re not detached necessarily,” she explained. “It’s simply different than what I had with Nick. Sure, it’s a little out of the ordinary in terms of us not calling ourselves a couple or doing normal ‘couple stuff,’ but it’s a partnership nonetheless. He gets something from me, and I get something from him.”

  Emilia’s eyes tightened with concern. “You sure that’s enough for you?”

  “For now, it’s enough for me.” Joss settled against the couch and tucked her legs up underneath her. “Yes, I could go do the whole online dating thing and maybe meet someone. Hell, maybe I’d find my forever guy. But honestly, I don’t even have the energy to go on dates. You know how it is. Most of the dates would end with you calling to save me so I could bolt.”

  Emilia smirked, tucking one leg underneath her. “Okay, but seriously, how much fun would that be? I’d come up with some of the best excuses to get you out of a bad date.”

  “I’m sure they’d be hilarious,” Joss agreed. “But if I’ve learned anything from the break-up with Nick, it’s that I need to think more about myself than anyone else. So, sure, Maddox and I are unconventional, but it’s fun and exciting, and I’m okay with things being casual.”

  “But what if they get serious?”

  “They won’t.”

  “How do you know that?”

  Joss laughed. “Because, Emilia, he doesn’t date. End of story.”

  “All right, fine. I’m going to accept what you’re telling me as truth.” Emilia picked up her cupcake and licked some icing off the top before asking, “I guess the one question is: Does Maddox make you happy?”

  “Maddox gives me orgasms, and that makes me happy.” Joss hesitated, rethinking. “Honestly, he’s actually kinda sweet and thoughtful in a way that isn’t thrown in your face. He keeps asking me if I’m okay with our arrangement, like somehow he thinks he’s corrupting me.”

  “He is, isn’t he?” Emilia smiled, taking a bite of her cupcake.

  “Yes, but I’m aware of it,” Joss countered, trying to get Emilia on the same page. “Everything is out in the open and so clear that there can’t be any misunderstandings.”

  “Well, there is that,” Emilia said, wiping the crumbs off her mouth.

  Joss looked down at her cupcake with chocolate sprinkles on the plate but wasn’t ready t
o eat it yet. “I know this isn’t like me, Emilia, and maybe it’s all crazy, but he’s exactly what I need right now. There’s something about him that’s so carefree and wild. He doesn’t live by normal rules. There’re no expectations there. I don’t have to worry about things getting confusing and messy because I know he can’t give me a relationship.”

  Emilia placed her cupcake down and frowned. “Good point, but I think that’s what usually scares off women.”

  “I’m sure it is, but I’m not that girl.”

  Something crossed Emilia’s face that Joss couldn’t quite place. Concern, maybe? “Aren’t you worried that you’ll start liking him?” she asked gently, licking some icing off her finger. “I know he’s being all upfront and honest, and while that makes him a decent guy, what if you fall in love with him?” She gave a knowing look. “I mean, from what you say about him, I imagine it would be pretty easy to do.”

  “Maybe, if things were different. But they aren’t, and emotionally, he’s completely unavailable. He keeps telling me over and over again that he doesn’t date, and that sex is all he can give me. How do you fall for a guy who won’t let you in at all?”

  “And he doesn’t let you in?”

  “He’s cautious about what he says. Careful, for sure. The second I get too deep, he brings on Alpha Maddox – Sex God to stop the conversation.”

  Emilia chuckled, taking another bite of her cupcake.

  “I know you’re worried about me, and I love you for it,” Joss said with a smile, squeezing Emilia’s forearm. “But he’s not a guy you fall in love with. Lust, oh yeah, I’m all over it. But I’ve already loved someone who didn’t love me back. Why would I willingly go into that again?”

  “I suppose that’s very true,” Emilia conceded. “I guess you never know, the unimaginable could happen and he could fall head over heels in love with you, and you could live happily ever after.”

  Joss reached for her cupcake and laughed. “Now that is a true fantasy if I’ve ever heard one.”

  “Why a fantasy?” Emilia nibbled her cupcake with a frown. “You’re beautiful, smart, and clearly someone he hasn’t been able to forget. Don’t overlook the fact that he wanted more of you, too.”

  Joss pondered before deciding not to look too deeply into it. She couldn’t go there. Not even once. She couldn’t ever cross that emotional line and examine why Maddox did the things he did. Hell, she simply didn’t want to. No strings. That’s where her happiness lay. “He came back looking for more because we had incredible sex together.”

  “Are you sure that’s all it is?”

  “Very sure. That’s all he can give me.” She peeled back the wrapper on her cupcake and, before taking a bite, said, “He’s clear about that, Emilia, and I believe him.” She swallowed then added, “Besides, sleeping with him is one thing. Dating him would complicate everything. First, one of us would have to transfer to a new division to avoid the conflict. Then, there would need to be a whole lot of explaining from Maddox about how he’d gotten involved with me in the first place. Not to mention, I’d likely have to lie to ensure that he didn’t face suspension.” Her head hurt even thinking about it. “It’s a mess that I don’t want, and I can only imagine he doesn’t want it either.”

  “Yeah,” Emilia said, licking the chocolate icing off her finger, “but sometimes, relationships are messy before they get all neat and tidy. All I’m saying is that you’re both taking big risks here. Him, professionally. You, emotionally. I guess I’m wondering why either of you would take such big risks just for sex?”

  Joss nearly allowed herself to fall into that train of thought, wondering about all the emotional intricacies, before she stopped herself. “Because the sex is amazing,” was the only answer she felt needed to be said.

  Emilia gave a look like she didn’t believe Joss and lifted up the final piece of her cupcake. “Well, then, here’s to many more emotionally unavailable orgasms and sexy secrets.”

  Joss laughed. “Hear, hear.”

  * * *

  Maddox had planned to head to the gym for his usual workout after his shift ended. Tonight, he opted to take a run later in the evening on the Burke-Gilman Trail. An invite from Grey’s mother, Anne Crawford, wasn’t something he could decline. When he’d arrived at the Lake Washington south shore mansion belonging to Grey’s mother, he found Grey waiting for him in the kitchen with a cold beer in his hand and one ready for Maddox. Anne was nowhere in sight, nor was Grey’s sister, Riley. The house hadn’t always been so grand or modern, but it had been a house handed down in Grey’s father’s family for generations. The Crawfords had renovated the home years back when Grey was at the University of Washington.

  “Are you seeing Joss again tonight?” Grey asked, taking a seat in the chair across from Maddox at the kitchen table.

  Maddox shook his head and leaned back in his chair, raising his beer bottle to his mouth. Before he took a gulp, he said, “I decided tonight I’d much rather see your pretty face.”

  Grey snorted. “No, really, you’ve already ended it? I gotta say, I’m surprised. You seemed to enjoy this one, more than any of the others.”

  “I do enjoy her,” Maddox admitted, placing the bottle back down on the natural wood table. He hadn’t intended to tell Grey much about Joss, but being his closest buddy, he knew he’d have to tell him that she was still in his life. “And, no, it’s not over. She’s taken on a couple of night shifts. I’m seeing her again on Wednesday.”

  A perk of his job was to always be on the day shift, but it annoyed him—and his greedy cock—greatly to not see her for the next couple of nights. She’d been in his thoughts all day today. Before the idea could arise that he should text her to somehow squeeze in a quick visit, he stopped it. Surely, he could go a couple of days without seeing her again.

  “Well, that’s a pity,” Grey muttered, reaching for his cell phone in his pocket and giving it a quick look before glancing at Maddox again. “Though, it’s good to see you’re keeping this one around for longer than a night.”

  “Don’t get your hopes up.” Maddox paused as the front door opened and closed. “You know this won’t last long.”

  “Such a shame that is, though…” Grey fired off either a text or email before he gave Maddox a knowing look. “I thought this one might be different. You’ve got a certain sparkle in your eye.”

  “My eyes are not sparkling.” Maddox frowned.

  Grey placed his phone back down on the table and smiled. “Oh, sure they are. They’re like twinkling stars in the sky.”

  Maddox snorted, lifting his beer to his mouth. “Fuck off, Grey.”

  “Language,” Anne said, entering the kitchen, giving both him and Grey a look. “Haven’t I taught you boys better?”

  “Sorry, ma’am.” Maddox narrowed his eyes at Grey before rising and kissing Anne on the cheek, Grey laughing the entire time. “You are looking lovelier than ever, Anne.” She was the mother every kid wanted. There wasn’t a day that Maddox came over when there weren’t fresh cookies in the cookie jar. “Did you get your hair done?”

  “Just yesterday.” She patted her short, shiny, dyed silver hair. “I’m not sure I like the style.”

  “It’s beautiful.” Maddox smiled. “Don’t change a thing.”

  “Suck up,” Grey whispered beneath his breath.

  “Ignore him,” Anne said, taking Maddox’s chin in her hand and looking at him intently. “You look happy. This girl who is making your eyes sparkle, she must be good for you.”

  Maddox sighed and gave Grey, who was now grinning from ear-to-ear, another glare. “Thanks a lot.”

  “You’re welcome,” Grey said with a firm nod, glancing back to his cell phone.

  “Tell me about her,” said Anne, drawing Maddox’s attention to her while she frowned at Grey. “Greyson, don’t make me tell you again. Put that cell phone away. It does not belong at the dinner table.”

  Grey’s sigh was even deeper than Maddox’s as he tucked his phone into
his pocket. “Yes, Maddox,” Grey said, lifting his head. “Do tell my mother all about the apple of your eye.”

  Maddox turned to Anne, who awaited his answer. Christ, he couldn’t lie to this woman. She’d been so very kind to him over the years, inviting him into her house for every holiday and for any celebration after his father went into the home. The Crawfords were the closest thing he had to a family now. “Her name is Joss O’Neil. There isn’t much to tell because we’re not serious.”

  “Maybe you should be serious with her,” Anne said, moving into the kitchen toward the stove. “If she’s causing such a kerfuffle in your life that Greyson is commenting on it, she must be special.”

  “She’s not causing a…kerfuffle,” he corrected gently, returning to his chair. “She’s a very nice young woman who I’m getting to know.”

  “Yes, Maddox,” Grey said seriously. “Maybe you should make this relationship a little more serious.”

  When Anne turned toward the cupboards and grabbed some bowls, Maddox flipped off Grey before Anne glanced back to them.

  Grey chuckled.

  Maddox focused on Anne and said, “Whatever you’ve cooked smells delicious.”

  “It’s beef stew. I know how much you love it.” She began scooping the stew out into the bowls before returning to the table and placing his bowl in front of him. The twinkle in her eye told him he wasn’t getting off that easily. “There must be more you can tell me about this young lady. Grey has been a bachelor for so long now—”

  “It’s been a month, Mother,” Grey muttered.

  She shot him a little glare, hands on her hips. “A month that you’re not finding yourself a beautiful bride who can give me cute grandkids.”

  Maddox grinned and reached for his spoon, glad Grey now had his turn.

  Anne tsked. “Don’t look at him like that, Maddox.” She shook her finger at him, and Maddox wiped the smile off his face, as she added, “Just because I didn’t give birth to you doesn’t mean I don’t expect the same from you. I don’t care which of you gives me grandkids, I want them, and before you all turn forty would be much appreciated.”