Again My Love (Kaitlyn and the Highlander Book 9)

by Diana Knightley

  In a weird way the night was fun, as if a shitty day had been redeemed by an acquaintance taking me out to lift my spirits. But also there were lulls where I stared off into space and thought, what the fuck am I doing here?

  I should have been curled up on my couch watching Netflix instead of nodding and smiling while a guy who looked like a Viking, who had probably never had a bath, told a story about punching a fencepost on his way home from a pub.

  Madame Lizbeth was jovial and fun and wore an easy smile. Occasionally she left me, but only for brief moments, and always made sure I was safe until she returned to sit with me again.

  Halfway through the evening she led me upstairs to the nursery to introduce me to her two youngest children, Mary who was almost three, and the baby, Ainsley, who had been born with Kaitlyn’s help. I was very impressed with my friend, in awe, actually — when she was young she had been a weak-stomached, nervous, silly girl. If I ever saw her again I would tell her I was proud of her. If.

  Lizbeth’s oldest son, Jaime, wasn’t there, instead off running loose in the castle. She said, “Well, he is a boy he will be intae mischief because he has tae be.”

  She led me from the nursery back to her rooms. “I notified the Earl that ye would be visiting for a time. He would like tae meet ye, but daena feel up tae it today. His son went huntin’ with Liam and Sean, so we daena have tae suffer meetin’ him. Ye daena ken how fortunate ye are, he is a bore, but is nae here verra often.”

  We stopped by the garderobe and I spoke to Lizbeth through the door as I peed. “Has Kaitlyn brought you toilet paper to try?”

  “Nae, what is it?”

  “Such an amazing thing, it’s paper on a roll, and you use it to wipe your—“

  Lizbeth said, “Wheesht.”

  I heard voices in the hallway speaking to Lizbeth and when I came out she was smiling. “I dinna want them tae hear ye, but I do like the sound of it? Tis soft?”

  “Very very very soft. I miss it so much.”

  When we entered her rooms there was a fire in the hearth, making it warm enough for me to remove the heavy outer layer of my bodice and the thick skirt.

  There was a small wooden bed at the end of Lizbeth’s fourposter. Much like a toddler bed, like the trundle bed in my dad’s office where I slept when I stayed the weekends with him after the divorce, except a lot more uncomfortable.

  For warmth there was a thick linen cloth and on top a wool blanket, thankfully, because as the fire died down, the air turned freezing. I couldn’t believe it was summer. It was cold down into my bones and my blanket was too short, I had to curl into a ball so my toes weren’t exposed.

  I got as comfortable as I could. “Thank you Lizbeth, for all of this.”

  “Tis nae somethin’ tae worry on, Madame Hayley, I am sure they will be here on the morrow.”

  And then as I tried to sleep I cried, from fear, despair, being uncomfortable, but I tried to do it very very quietly so Lizbeth wouldn’t hear.

  In the middle of the night, this thought ran through my head: tomorrow night, if no one comes for me, I will get one of the vessels and try to figure it out.

  Eight - Hayley

  The next day was interesting, like a Saturday before a family holiday. Lizbeth had meet with the cook about food. That required walking to the kitchen and through all the storerooms. She had to go to the nursery to see about the children. That meant climbing the stairs to the second floor. We returned to the kitchen, and then we went to the wine cellar. After that we spoke to the women weaving the wool on the third floor. Then we were outside in the kitchen garden. I was exhausted from all the walking.

  About mid-morning a group of four boys ran by us in a stairwell, and Lizbeth snagged the arm of a boy of about seven years old. She said to him, “Introduce yourself, Jaime, this is, Madame Hayley, a relation of Aunt Kaitlyn’s.”

  He looked a lot like Lizbeth and a little like Magnus too. He said, “Tis nice tae meet ye, Madame Hayley, I am Jaime Campbell.”

  “You’re Magnus’s nephew?”

  “Aye.” He bowed a bit and then after a brief exchange with his mother, was off, running down the halls to catch up to his cousins.

  There were so many things to do, people to talk to about the things to do, a general bustle, yet also, a lot of the day that was fucking unbelievably boring.

  Lizbeth and I ate our breakfast in the nursery with her babies and they were cute and all, but there was an awful racket the whole time we were in there. I rubbed my aching temples. “The bairn are carryin’ on.”

  Lizbeth laughed. “When ye pass the morn listenin’ tae the bairn wailin’, the rest of your day will seem verra peaceful.”

  Sean’s wife, Maggie, approached just then. She barely met my eyes as we were introduced. “I am glad tae see ye in the nursery this morn, Madame Lizbeth, after prayer this is our most important work.”

  Lizbeth said, “Aye, when I am about my many responsibilities of the castle and the lands of the Earl of Breadalbane, I am oft thinking, ‘I should rather be doin’ the important work of holdin’ the bairn.’”

  I clamped my lips in my teeth to keep from laughing.

  Madame Maggie said, “As it should be,” and crossed to the far end of the nursery to hold one of the wailing babies. Her whole demeanor, the act of picking up the baby, the way she sat there glancing at us was totally judgmental.

  I glanced at Lizbeth, her back was straight, her look imperious, but that sparkle of humor remained.

  It was a beautiful day when we left the nursery to walk a long path to the market. The sky was high with little tufts of clouds swimming across the bright blue expanse. Green fields to the left and right of us were dotted with pale white sheep, and gray, low stone walls stretched along our path. Thatch-roofed houses were settled along the route, more, and closer together, as we neared the village.

  Along the way Lizbeth dished about the women I had just met, ending with, “And daena mind Madame Maggie, she has judged me tae nae be pious and matronly enough, and has included ye in on the matter since you're in m’company.”

  “Well, in my case she’s not wrong, I am not nearly matronly enough.”

  “Och, ye seem tae be a better sort, wise in the way of the world. This is why I was pleased tae meet Madame Kaitlyn. She is verra kind and does nae make judgments, and she is also wise about the world. She has been a good match for Magnus. I am proud of him for choosin’ her. And grateful she is neither unkind, silly, or overly pious like the rest of the wives.”

  I laughed, “Are those the only choices? You aren’t any of them, how’d you get so cool?”

  “If by ‘cool’ ye mean, I am nae unkind, silly, or pious, tis because of me mum.”

  My eyes went wide. “What — Lady Mairead?”

  “She taught me tae pay attention tae the affairs of the castle, tae ken the maneuverings and strategies of the men, tae watch everything. I am too important tae be bothered with the rest of it.”

  I smiled at that. “That’s a good sentiment, to be ‘too important to be bothered.’ I like that.”

  The village was holding a market day, tables set around the main square, bread, meat, and cheeses available for sale. A bustling activity, children racing by, chickens underfoot, a pig swishing its tail and ears to keep the flies from landing, not a few feet away from a table covered in slabs of meat. My ears were full of the sounds of yelling voices, animal grunts and squawks, and my nose was accosted by a mixture of baked bread and the stench of farm animal. Lizbeth worked the tables, bartering, discussing, arranging to have carts of bread and meat brought to the castle, and then she bought some food for our lunch.

  After we walked back to the castle, I went to the room to lie down, because everything about the day had been exhausting. This was like living in a theater production, mixed with a family wedding, combined with a camping trip, and all I wanted was a storm.

  This would be so much easier if Kaitlyn was here to help me get through it, if Magnus was here to protec
t me, if Quentin was here to joke about it.

  After sitting by myself for a couple of hours, Lizbeth came to get me for dinner. We were having a mug of ale at the main table when Lizbeth’s eyes drew to the door at the far end of the room.

  Fraoch was headed our way — maybe there had been a storm?

  He was smiling and he was alone, but I asked anyway, “Did it storm?”

  “Nae, Madame Hayley, good evenin’ Madame Lizbeth. There has been nae news, I am sorry about it.”

  His demeanor was awkward. He didn’t seem to know what to do with his hands and finally settled on holding his belt. His hair was wet, slicked back from his face. His beard was trimmed shorter than before, not much, but a little, and looked cleaner. And there was a scent about him—

  Lizbeth sniffed the air. “Master Fraoch, ye smell as if ye have gotten intae the rose-scented lotion Kaitlyn gifted tae Madame Greer.”

  He blushed red above his beard. “Aye, she leant it tae me, afore I came for dinner.”

  “Ah, I see.” Her brow lifted. “As ye can tell tis a vast Great Hall without many men, most of them having gone tae hunt. Ye daena come for dinner verra often when they are away.”

  “Aye, I am usually acoompanyin’ them on the hunt, but this time I stayed behind tae see tae Madame Hayley, since she was needin’ me tae watch the storms.”

  “I see, well, we are two auld wives, but ye may join us for the meal. We were just speakin’ on children and their feedings.” Her eyes glinted merrily.

  Fraoch took a seat stiffly. He was a big man but seemed to be trying to compress his insides down into a smaller form. He wore the strain on his face. His unease was delighting Lizbeth.

  I took a sip of a beer. I had been trying not to drink but this place had nothing but alcohol. Its saving grace was that there was no need to stay up partying. This vibe was more — get a buzz and go to bed early. Lizbeth told me it would get wilder once the men returned.

  I felt a little bummed that my presence caused her to send the men away and now with the men away it was more boring-er here. Boring-er? Maybe I was a little buzzed.

  I took another sip of beer. “What have you been doing since I saw you yesterday, Fraoch?”

  “I have returned tae the village workin’ for Madame Greer. A fox found his way in with the hens and has killed many of them. I had tae clean up after his feast and fill the hole it entered through. Twas an afternoon of work.”

  He leaned back, growing more comfortable. “What have ye been doing, Madame Hayley?”

  I glanced at Lizbeth — what had I been doing?

  Lizbeth, her eyes twinkling merrily, said, “She has been dutifully awaitin’ her husband comin’ tae collect her.”

  Fraoch nodded. “Och aye, yer husband. He is a big man ye say, Madame Hayley?”

  Lizbeth batted his arm. “Tis nae matter whether he is big or small, he is what he is, her husband, ye daena have a reason tae ask her on it.”

  Fraoch drained his beer. “As I see it, he is nae here though, he is from — where is he from? What time?”

  I laughed, truly enjoying his banter after a day of careful conversation. “Like three hundred years in the future.”

  Fraoch’s eyes glinted. “Och, he sounds verra auld.”

  We all laughed.

  Lizbeth said, “We should get our dinner, the Earl isn’t here so we don’t have to wait.”

  “Where is the Earl?” asked Fraoch.

  “He has gone tae Edinburgh. There is a great trouble brewin’ with the succession, he has a need tae be in the middle of the makin’ of the trouble.”

  Fraoch squinted his eyes at her. “I appreciate yer astute eye on the dealings, I am nae used tae the fairer sex havin’ so many opinions.”

  “Yet our Monarch is a queen? I would suppose she has many opinions on the succession, she has recently lost her son.”

  I asked, “Who is the queen?”

  Lizbeth said, “Anne...” Her eyes looked off sadly. “She has lost all seventeen of her bairn. She must feel it verra deeply.”

  Fraoch waved a hand. “Och, she is a monarch, she haena a thought about it except the succession. Twill be goin’ tae King George.”

  Lizbeth’s eyes went wide. “You ken this tae be true?”

  “Aye, I am from the future as well.”

  Lizbeth leaned back and looked from Fraoch to me.

  “Are your futures much the same? My mother has told me of wondrous things. And I have seen them with m’own eyes when the flyin’ weapons and the — I daena remember what Black Mac called them. He had tae train our men tae fight against them.”

  I said, “I remember the stories, I can’t believe that happened here.”

  “They tore down the walls, I will shew ye in the morn. We haena fully rebuilt them yet.”

  I said, “Those weren’t from my time, though we do have similar machines.”

  Fraoch said, “Sean has told me of the battle. Tis difficult for him tae guard these walls when he kens those weapons might attack again.”

  I said, “I think Magnus is doing everything in his power to keep them away.”

  Lizbeth said, “And what of your time, Master Fraoch, did ye have weapons like these?”

  “Nae, in my time we still ride horses. I carried a sword along with m’gun. Twas much the same as this, though time has taken us further from our purpose tae have a Stuart king.”

  Lizbeth leaned back and sighed. “Och, tae think we are still arguin’ on it years from now. How many years ahead were ye?”

  Fraoch said, “It seems a lifetime though was about two score.”

  “And how many years for ye, Madame Hayley?”

  I said, “Fraoch’s future is long before my country was even a country, and my country has been a country for over two hundred years.”

  Lizbeth said, “Really?”

  “Yep, we were founded in 1776 after we fought for independence from...” I chuckled, “Well, this is awkward — we fought for independence from England.”

  Fraoch said, “Och, this would have been after I was gone tae m’grave. I canna be blamed for losin’ the colonies.”

  I said, “You wouldn’t have been old enough to be in a grave. In 1776 you might have still been around to have a hand in it.”

  “If I live until I am three score auld I would believe m’self tae be graced by God, as I daena have the goodness in me tae deserve a long life.” Then he added, “My apologies Madame Lizbeth, Madame Hayley, tis rude tae speak on my sins at dinner.”

  I smiled to set him at ease because though he was laughing, he was very uneasy, formal and stiff underneath. “Most people in my time live until their late seventies and doctors believe it’s possible for everyone to live to be one hundred and five years old.”

  Lizbeth scoffed. “A century! I am exhausted just thinkin’ on it.”

  Fraoch chugged some ale and swiped his arm across his mouth. “A man that can live that long has had nae real purpose. If he dinna need tae die tae protect his family — how dost he ken he was truly livin’? And if he is nae truly living, what is the point of continuin’ on it for such a verra endless time?”

  I watched him as he spoke. A rough guy, he needed a Harley, and would be home in any biker bar. He needed a tattoo: Live Fast Die Young.

  I said, “Black Mac was in the military. He fought in Afghanistan to protect us. It is possible to put your life on the line in my time, just not everybody all the time.”

  Fraoch asked, “Where is Afghanistan?”

  I thought for a moment before I admitted, “I don’t mean to sound stupid, but I can’t really tell you without a map, a pencil, maybe a computer.” I sighed deeply, sadly. “Quentin fought in a war there. I’m going to need to make some serious amends when — if, I ever see him again.”

  Fraoch asked Lizbeth, “When will Sean and Liam return?”

  “I think on the morrow.”

  He said, “The day after, Madame Hayley, could I take ye for a ride? Tae show ye some of the land?”<
br />
  Lizbeth’s eyes went wide. “I daena ken if that...”

  I said, “I don’t think I’ll still be here actually. Thank you for inviting me, but Kaitlyn or Quentin will be here long before that.”

  Nine - Hayley

  Kaitlyn or Quentin didn’t come the following day.

  Sean and Liam returned later in the day and met me briefly before they set about unpacking from the hunt.

  Lizbeth held onto me even more now, mindful to never leave me alone. There were many rough and dangerous looking men around, sexy in the way they strode through the castle halls, though many were short, ugly, and a few looked like real assholes. Like not at all the kind of guy you wanted to be stuck in a dark corner with — hence Lizbeth held my arm.

  I understood her so much better now — I adored her. At first I assumed she was a married-woman-mom of the eighteenth century, like she was judging me, and that I would never live up to her expectations. But after watching the light at the edge of her eyes, the bemused smile, I realized she was joking about so many things. She was teasing, mischievous, and funny, almost a modern woman — only with a great many rules she had to follow.

  One interesting thing was while she seemed at ease, jovial, her eyes continually scanned the room. There was a look to them, a guarded judging of her safety, or of mine, a watchful consideration of every person and their place in the room. There were things happening that I didn’t understand — she would turn her back to people, or jump from her chair to manage them. There were people who made her laugh and some who caused her to scowl.

  One night Sean came and whispered in her ear.

  She said, “I already see him,” and rose from her chair, grasped my hand, and rushed me from the Great Hall. “Vile Mac has come tae the castle. He is verra evil, ye canna look at him or he will try tae cause ye harm. He inna supposed tae be here unless he is invited.”

  “Oh, but the men will handle him, right?”

  “Aye, they will, though he is dangerous and I daena like the idea of him bein’ within the castle walls at nightfall. Young beautiful Mary was a lass when he took her away. We couldna prove it, but she has never returned, and some of the men take his side on it.”