I said, “The big things canna be changed, the small things we can alter. I daena think we will even notice they have been altered. But is there anythin’ big that happened since that time? Anythin’ ye might nae want tae change?”
Madame Emma said, “We want a second baby, but I haven’t gotten pregnant yet. We were putting it off a little longer, so no worries there.”
Chef Zach said, “We were at your aunt’s for a whole month.”
“I don’t mind losing that, that wasn’t fun at all.”
Master Quentin said, “Will we still have the monitor, all the vessels?”
“Nae. But if I am King they will be mine tae use as I wish.”
Chef Zach said, “In this new life I won’t have stolen the monitor from the St Auggie museum? That’s too bad, that was one of my finer moments.”
I said, “I will remember and we can have ye do it again.”
Quentin said, “I really like this house, though I do miss the beach. I don’t mind a do-over, as long as everyone is safe and just — my job is to keep security and it’s been really hard to do when the future keeps surprise-attacking. They’re always one step ahead of us, so I agree, if you can rule in the future we’ll all be safer.”
Beaty was curled up around her legs on the couch, she said quietly, “I will relive anythin’ tae keep Queen Kaitlyn and Archie safe. I daena want tae have their deaths bein’ m’fault.”
Hayley said, “I agree.”
Zach said, “This is weird though, it’s a little like you’re going to kill us off — the five of us in this room, to go back to our past and revive us again with different memories. I don’t know... It might be too much to ask of us.”
“Dost ye want tae continue livin’ here with the knowledge that Roderick and his men can come upon us at any time?”
“No, I don’t like that shit at all, if you can stop those guys from coming here then please do.”
“Aye.” I looked around at them all. “I daena ken if I will do it. I wonder if tis the right thing tae do—”
Master Quentin said, “One last thing —if you don’t go back and fix this timeline and take your kingdom, what else are you going to do, where would you go to hunt for Katie and Archie?”
“I would begin at the castle.”
“A random date, arrive on a storm, knock on the front door, no army behind you?”
“Given time I might have a better plan.”
Master Quentin said, “I think your path is clear then.”
“I think if I do decide tae go, twould be best if we dinna speak on it anymore. Ye can wake up on the morrow, here, or ye can wake up in the beach house a month ago and nae remember this at all, but we shouldna consider it more. Twill only fill our hearts with more weight than we can bear tae hold.”
Madame Emma said, “I agree. This conversation is unprecedented. It’s too much power, too much control, our audacity makes me shudder, but also, if you can save their lives, you should.”
Chef Zach said, “I’ll make something special for dinner tonight... And I would like to say, he’s really great, Magnus. You shouldn’t worry about getting him at the wrong time. Archie is perfect, just the way he is, exactly your son, and he loves you and Katie, and Ben loved him a lot already. What if he’s there, at the castle, right now, with Katie? What if they’re waiting for you to come get them? Maybe all it will take is another arena battle. If you want to go, Quentin and I will go with you. We can talk James into it. We’ll all go with you.”
“Let me think on it. Mistress Hayley, would ye drive me tae the stables tae see Sunny? A ride will help me clear m’mind.”
Forty-two - Magnus
I carried a few vessels along in m’sporran. Hayley and I were quiet in the car then she pulled intae the lot in front of the stables.
I asked, “If I did go, would ye want me tae tell ye of Fraoch?”
She kept her hands on the steerin’ wheel, lookin’ through the front window at nothin’. “I don’t know. I think so? It was an accidental meeting, I mean, we aren’t meant to be together, it goes against the way time works. How can I love a man who is three hundred years older?” She sighed. “I don’t know.”
“I was thinkin’ if ye wanted tae pass along a message, I could take ye back and introduce ye tae Fraoch.”
“It might be totally different though. It’s not just that we met, it’s the way we met.” She shook her head. “I don’t think so. But I really liked him.” She turned tae me with a nod. “Yes, tell me about him.”
“Okay, if I go, if I decide tae, I will tell ye about Fraoch.”
“Wait, don’t just tell me... can you make it happen again? Like, maybe accidentally push me into the past and promise to pick me up the next day and... no that’s stupid. Crazy. Just tell me.”
“All right, I will.”
“I hope this works for you. I hope you save Katie and find Archie.”
“I daena ken if I am doin’ it yet.”
“You are, of course you are. You are doing it for Katie.” She started the car again. “But what if it ends up killing her, or you, or me? What if you blow up the world?”
“I daena think tis how it...”
“I guess you have to take the chance, right? There really isn’t any way to go and find her?”
“Nae, it would take too long tae find her. I daena ken where tae begin... And wastin’ time is nae...”
“Want me to wait or leave?”
“Ye can go ahead and leave.”
“I thought so.”
She drove away and left me there alone.
I visited Sunny, grooming and speakin’ tae him on the matter. Then I took him for a ride on the beach for a time, enough tae get the warm sun on my face, a breeze in my hair.
I rose above my breaths and racing heart, and gained some clarity about the issue.
Twas on the back of Sunny that it became clear —
I was a king.
Twas nae an easy position tae be in and I had been nae behavin’ as one, but here twas plain — if I was a king I should be protectin’ my kingdom, the prince and the queen.
Instead I was playin’ at protectin’ my wife and nae doin’ it well enough.
Kaitlyn had once said tae me, It’s the kind of man you are. You are bound with honor... they are trying to destroy that part of you, to make you choose me or your child. I won’t ever make you choose. I am safe for you...
She was safe, trustin’, and strong. She had stabbed that soldier for takin’ Archie, she had been willin’ tae fight for him.
She would want me tae do what it would take tae keep Archie safe, tae rescue him, even if it meant beginnin’ over again.
She wasna here tae tell me, but I ken what she would say — I love you, Highlander, do what you need tae do.
Tae set out on this journey was a risk. Tae switch time. Kaitlyn did it once and there had been no repercussions. Was I clear that all was the same? Was I loopin’ on anyone that would...?
I had promised Kaitlyn nae tae do it.
I dinna like doin’ it tae her without speakin’ tae her on it first.
What if I got us stuck in a time-loop like when she was looping for her grandmother?
And I would be takin’ her tae the time before she kent this older Archie. Before Archie called her Mammy.
I think twas the happiest moment of her life and I was takin’ it from her.
She wouldna remember, but... I would.
And if I intervened in the future, in my kingdom, I would be giving Bella another chance with Archie — twas nae fair tae take from Kaitlyn tae give tae Bella.
I rode along the shoreline. Sunny was light and happy tae have me home. The sky overhead grew gray and bleak, a winter storm comin’, buildin’ thick and oppressive. Twas dreich.
I chuckled tae m’self, Kaitlyn explainin’ a cannonball, “Jump, grab your knees, tuck your whole body and plunge into the lake... Do it over and over and over again, just taking a moment to eat, then doing it again an
d again.”
Today was a good day for a jump, and tae do it again. The air came up — cold, familiar, and calming. The air of a certainty, a feeling of trust and strength and, for once, the knowledge that I was doin’ what was best.
It might take a long time, but I would be the strength m’family needed.
Then, as the rain began tae fall, I turned Sunny back toward the stables, determined tae go.
Forty-three - Kaitlyn
There was a weight on the edge of my bed and then Magnus whispering, his voice low and rumbling, “Good morn, mo reul-iuil.”
I stretched, comfortably, luxuriously, and smiled, “Hey babe.”
He was kneeling, his forearms leaned on the mattress.
“— wait... Magnus? Oh my god, Magnus. You were taken away from the bank by soldiers! Lady Mairead was being a total bitch. They beat you.” I stroked a finger down the side of his face. “You’ve got no bruises, that was — I was going to go get the vessels. You said you were a distraction, right? I was going to take Quentin, James, and Hayley. What happened?”
He inhaled deeply. “Tis a great deal of talkin’ ye are doing.”
I clamped my mouth shut, added, “I’m just excited to see you.”
Magnus folded his hands together and said, “Mo reul-iuil, I beg of ye tae forgive me...”
“Why? Oh no, Magnus — what did you do?”
He clasped my hands in his and kept his eyes cast down while he spoke in the dim light of our bedroom. “I have done what I promised nae tae do, I looped intae our lives and I am verra sorry on it.”
“Why?” I searched his face, “Did I ask you to?”
“Nae, I had tae decide on m’own. Tis why I am here askin’ ye for forgiveness.”
“What happened?”
He seemed to be thinking.
Then he said, “You were taken by Roderick’s soldiers. I daena ken where ye had gone. I couldna begin tae find ye. I would need tae wait for Roderick tae give me demands but what torture might he put ye through?”
I gripped her hands tighter. “I came here tae end that timeline, tae begin a new one.”
“Oh, well... That sounds okay. You weren’t here, you weren’t and now you are, voila new timeline, and no one died, so there won’t be any weirdness. This seems like a stable thing to do. But your expression is worried.” I smoothed the hair from his forehead. “You look like someone who is ashamed of what they’ve done — I need to know what you did that now I’m missing. What am I missing?”
“Tis hard tae tell ye about.”
“Oh. That sounds bad.” I sat up, slid a leg on each side of him, settling his head into my lap.
“Tell me my love.” I ran my fingers through his hair, twisting a finger through one of his locks.
His face was nestled in the crook of my thigh, his voice muffled because of it. “You and I went and rescued Archie. We found him in an orphanage when he was about three years auld.”
My fingers paused their work of twisting through his hair. “You’re speaking of him like he’s past tense.”
“He has been taken as well.”
“Ah,” I massaged my palms down the back of his neck and smoothed the white cotton shirt across his broad shoulders, the ridges of his scars meeting my fingertips through the cloth, familiar, yet reminding me he was human and vulnerable and — “That’s why your heart is heavy. Tell me more.”
“He dinna live with us long, Kaitlyn, but he had begun tae call ye Mammy.”
“He did, really?”
Magnus’s head nodded against my thigh. He took a deep breath. “Och aye, he loved ye verra much. I wish I could have rescued him, but I dinna ken how and I was afraid what they might be doin’ tae him. The pain and fear he might be sufferin’. When we found him, Kaitlyn he had been beaten. He was afraid of us, I... want tae protect him, but I haena, so I...” He clutched tightly around my hips.
“It sounds like you’re doing the right thing.”
“There is more, mo reul-iuil. I took ye tae see your grandparents.” I paused my hands mid caress.
“You know I never wanted to do that. Why would you?”
“We were bein’ chased, I took ye without askin’ yer permission on it. You dinna like bein’ there, but we all swam in the lake and did cannonballs off the dock.”
“Archie met Barb?”
“Aye.”
“That explains a lot, but it also raises so many questions.”
“Tis our life tae be in the middle of explanations that bring more questions.”
I chuckled and my stomach jiggled his head while I laughed. Then I grew serious again, “Visiting my grandparents didn’t screw up my life?”
“Nae.”
“Is there anything else?”
“The rest are stories I can tell ye later.”
“So we had Archie but now we’ve lost him again? We just need to fix it and—”
He raised up, sat back on his heels, hands on his hips. He watched me, his expression one of sadness, then he shook his head. “I am goin’ tae fix it. I have decided it. We arna fixin’ it, we are living it through differently.”
“I don’t understand, not really.”
“I will be goin’ tae the kingdom and protecting it from Roderick the usurper. I winna allow him tae take m’crown. You told me, ye ken, long ago, that I was tae make the kingdom safe for Archie. I dinna accomplish it. I canna protect ye or m’son after Roderick becomes the king. I have tae fight him afore he takes power.”
“Oh. But—”
“I am here only tae tell ye what I plan tae do. So ye will ken. So ye winna worry.”
“I can come with you, I can help.”
“Nae,” He ran a hand through his hair. “Ye canna. I need tae be strategic. If the war is nae turnin’ in my favor I will try tae fight it over. I will have tae be able tae jump if necessary. I have tae focus on the war and protect Archie and deal with Hammond—”
“And Bella.”
“Aye.” He looked me in the eyes. “I ken it is much tae ask, for ye tae stay here, in safety, with our family around ye. I need tae be able tae fight and win and I might have tae do things that will be difficult tae do if ye are present.”
I screwed up my face to consider what he was saying. “So you are going to go away to be a king and a warrior, and you’re wanting me to do as I’m told, and stay here, like a good queen, so you can do kingly things without worrying about me and without being a total pain in your arse?”
“Aye. Except ye arna a pain in my arse, nae always.” He chuckled.
“But we do need tae spend some time away from each other so you can fight a war? Didn’t I promise old Magnus you wouldn’t have to battle alone anymore?”
“Aye, ye did, but twas nae a promise for ye tae give. Ye tried tae protect me, but I have tae fight now. There is a war and—”
“Can’t we have peace?”
“Nae, I have seen the future, mo reul-iuil, tis a bleak and violent place. You and I walked through it lookin’ for Archie. There were tent cities spreadin’ through the valleys and so much despair. Bella had aligned herself with Roderick and deserted Archie. But worse — King Roderick has decided tae renew the charges against ye, he is callin’ ye a murderer. Bella has taken his side and she is helping him tae locate ye—”
“She is such a bitch, I hate her so much.”
“Ye have every reason tae, she becomes so much worse. I will deal with her.”
I said, “So the future wants me on murder charges?”
“Aye, they winna quit until they have ye.”
“And being king is the only way?”
“I have had men beg me tae help them. I was their king and I ignored their pleas, I believed I could live a quiet life here with—”
“Our life is not quiet.”
He chuckled. “Tis true. Lady Mairead has said ye are my weakness and I think—”
“I find that to be a ridiculous thing to say.”
“I was going tae finish — I thin
k she is wrong. You are my strength, but this time I need ye tae stay here. You bring out m’better nature. In these dealings I might need tae be barbaric.” He gave me a sad smile.
“What will you need to do with Bella?”
He quietly said, “I daena ken.”
“Okay.” I nodded. “Yeah, okay, though I would like to be the one to kill her when it comes to that.”
“You daena mean it, mo ghradh, yer days of killin’ people are over, I hope. I ken ye can protect yerself but I daena want ye tae suffer in taking a life anymore.”
“You would protect me from that?”
“Aye, I will always protect ye.”
We stared into each other’s eyes for a moment, then I asked, “So what you’re saying is you’ve left me as Old Kaitlyn and have come back to rescue me as Young Kaitlyn. Was I terribly old? An old crone? Gray hair down to my butt?”
“Twas barely two months ago.”
I grinned. “Was I wrinkled? Did I have a beard down to here?”
“You were gray and wizened and stooped over, verra beautiful.”
“Very funny.” I took a deep breath. “Archie called me ‘Mammy’?”
“He made ye so happy ye cried on it and got verra strange in yer head about the whole experience.”
“I imagine.” I leaned back on my hands. “None of this is as bad as you made it out to be.”
“I haena really begun, mo reul-iuil. This is only the beginnin’ of it. Daena come after me. I will come home when I am finished.”
“Okay, that’s pretty bad.” I frowned. “For how long?”
“Long enough tae bring m’kingdom under m’control. I will have tae do it as long as it takes. I winna come home right away—”
“Why?”
He put on a falsetto voice, “So if I am aged by the experience, ye winna be much younger than me. Twould be too unfair.”
I batted his shoulder playfully. “There’s a chance you might be old? Couldn’t you come back before, tell me what’s happening?”
“Every time I come home I set the time. And if I need tae return I will create a loop. There is a risk in it, ye ken.”
“I do, but you could come next week or the next…?”
Again My Love (Kaitlyn and the Highlander Book 9) Page 19