Cloudy Mirrors

by Shane Robert

  I pulled out a small ziplock bag filled with the greatness I was introduced to the night before, cocaine. I stalled for a few seconds, thinking I should head back and return this to Scottie. After remembering the great feeling I had last night, I poured out the sweet powdery substance and chopped it up into 3 lines. Grabbing the rolled-up bill, I took one to the left nostril, then to the right and another to the left. Just like that I sat back and suddenly slumber ensued.

  Chapter 2

  Megan

  I wake up suddenly to a familiar little voice just as the sun peeks over the horizon, engulfing my bedroom in bright morning sunlight. “Mommy, I’m hungry and Seth won’t wake up to fix me a bowl of cereal,” my six-year-old son Hunter says as I wipe my eyes, clearing the haze.

  “That’s okay, honey. I am sure Seth stayed up playing video games last night. That’s what twelve-year-old boys do on the weekends,” I respond, extending my arms to give Hunter a good morning hug before removing the covers. “Come on… let’s go see what kind of cereal we have,” picking him up in my arms as we walk towards the kitchen.

  “We have Lucky Charms, Fruity Pebbles, and Fruit Loops,” Hunter says before reaching the pantry doors. “Are you sure you want cereal for breakfast? You have it almost every morning before school. What about some scrambled eggs or something?” I ask, placing Hunter on the floor.

  “Ummmm… yeah, scrambled eggs, and maybe some bacon too?” Hunter asks as a big smile appears across his face, showing off his dimples. His little smile melts me and for the most part, he gets what he wants, especially when it comes to breakfast on the weekends. “Sounds great, sweetheart! Do you want to watch some cartoons while I cook or would you like to mix the eggs?” I question.

  When it comes to six-year olds, you can’t give them many options, or you may end up with them wanting to do multiple things simultaneously, often resulting in a big mess. Hunter is a big ball of energy, even at the crack of dawn. Only two speeds, balls to the wall, or passed out like a drunk, drooling. He’s like a drunk adult, just wild until he goes to bed.

  “I think I’ll…” he begins speaking as he runs in small circles, “Mix the eggs!” he exclaims with excitement.

  “Okay, that’s fine, you can mix the eggs. But remember, when you crack them…” I begin to remind him before he interrupts.

  “Don’t get the shells in the bowl!” he laughs, running over to the Tupperware cabinet to grab a bowl and a spoon from the utensil drawer. He places them on the table and runs back to the fridge.

  “Oh, no no sweetie, let me get those. You might drop them, remember?” I remind him of his incident of attempting to be a big helper by bringing in groceries from the car. He grabbed the bag of eggs and swung them around until the bag split, leaving all the eggs cracked on the floor. I won’t remind him of the time he thought they were balls and threw them across my kitchen, he wouldn’t remember anyways.

  We have almost finished making breakfast as Seth, my twelve-year-old son, comes out of his room. Hunter runs from the kitchen and jumps on his brother to tell him good morning. “Well good morning Seth, would you like some breakfast? Hunter said he tried to wake you up for breakfast but you weren’t having any part of getting up as early as him. Did you stay up late playing your video game?” I question, attempting to pay attention to cooking and him, my eyes moving from one to the other.

  “Yeah I did, is that a problem? If we are asking questions, where did you go last night?” Seth asks as he opens the fridge and grabs the orange juice, pouring himself a glass. Seth is pretty self-sufficient when it comes to most things, except his grades. He’s a typical preteen, starting to have an attitude but loves video games with his interest in girls rising but still in between a child and full blown puberty. I’ve learned parenting teenagers, hell even a preteen, is about as effective as nailing jelly to the wall.

  “I told you before I left, guess you weren’t paying attention, since all you pay attention to is your games. I went to Scottie’s, he was having a few friends over but I didn’t stay long. The crowd gets a little crazy over there when it gets too late so I came back home,” I respond, turning off the burners, pulling out plates, and fixing Hunter’s up for him.

  “You went where?” Hunter’s voice reflecting surprise and excitement as he turns to look at me.

  “Yes, I went to Scottie’s baby…” I begin to respond before he interrupts me.

  “I want to see Scottie! Can you take us to go see him, it’s been a while?” he asks, full of excitement, his legs beginning to swing under the table.

  “I’m not really sure, honey. We’ll have to ask Scottie if he has plans for tonight or not. If he has plans or company coming over then we will have to wait for another time, okay?” I respond, placing the plate in front of him.

  He rolls out his bottom lip, just as he always does when he is displeased with my answers.

  “Seth, do you want to go visit Scottie too?” I question, turning my head towards him as I sit down at the table.

  “Yeah,” he says, shrugging his shoulders.

  “You don’t have to. I was just curious if you would be interested as well. I am sure he has a new video game you guys could play together, or you could bring one of yours,” I voice softly, hoping he wouldn’t be so standoffish about getting some male interaction in his life.

  Maybe Scottie isn’t the best role model for Seth and Hunter, but they need a male role model, or just male interaction to be honest. Scottie isn’t much of a man truthfully, more of a child, if you take into consideration his occupation and extracurricular activities. He sells drugs and he partakes in them nearly every day. I’ve always heard a monkey can’t sell bananas, but he surely proves that statement wrong considering all he has to show for it. Of course, all he has could disappear in a flash, then again so can a lot of things. Building an empire on sandcastles is never a good idea because it eventually sinks, it just depends on how fast the tide comes in, at least I’ve always been told that.

  Seth and Hunter’s dad, Austin, had a problem with addiction as well. Although his addiction was with alcohol, he was a functioning alcoholic still managing to do his job daily. He never raised his hand or said a harsh word because of his alcoholism; then again, I wouldn’t know because I met Austin when we were much younger. Back then I drank too. His drinking, however, progressed into something long term, alcohol abuse really. Whereas, mine stayed social and now, hardly ever. It was hard to notice he had been drinking, unless you knew he was an alcoholic, except on the rare occasion when he would get around his buddies. That’s when he would have a few more than normal and really go over the top.

  We were engaged, waiting to have the wedding until after Hunter was born so I would feel beautiful in my wedding dress and be able to enjoy the festivities during the reception. We had already locked in the venue and set the date for six months following his birth, which would give me adequate time to lose the ‘baby weight’. Thankfully I have a high metabolism and lots of energy for walks with the baby or even the gym, usually once a week or so. That was the plan anyways.

  Life had different plans.

  No one ever forgets when their water breaks; I’m no exception. My water broke with Hunter while I was in the kitchen, washing dishes after feeding Seth. Austin had gone to see his friends that warm summer night to drink it away and I was too tired after organizing the entire nursery, again, amongst many other small things I felt compelled to do. I grabbed my bag for the hospital, making sure I had everything, called the neighbor to watch Seth, and drove myself to the hospital. On the way, it was difficult to make it there with the pain I was suffering. I attempted to call Austin multiple times with no answer. Him not answering the phone wasn’t uncommon, though. He didn’t carry it around on his hip like most others did back then, sometimes he would put it down and randomly check it. Once at the hospital, I was placed in the room, hooked to fetal monitors, and had IVs placed before a doctor came in to see me. He informed me it wouldn’t be long before the appea
rance of my baby just as I got a call back from Austin. I updated Austin on my status and I could hear the excitement echoing through the phone as he yelled it to all of his friends as they all cheered in the background. The bad part was when he was on his way to the hospital Austin got into a car accident. He was racing to get to the hospital to be by my side after he had consumed one too many, crossing the centerline and hitting another vehicle head on. Austin was DOA: dead on arrival and killed the other driver he ran into.

  Seth was seven years old then, and his behavior reflects on a daily basis how much he misses Austin even though he was so young when he passed. Being a single mom wasn’t my choice, it was the hand I was dealt and had no choice but to manage. Scottie is the only family I had remotely close in proximity and we have always been fairly close, being my cousin. Since Austin passed, Scottie helps me a lot. Whether it be emotionally, mentally, or financially. I’m thirty years old and I’ve managed for the most part to maintain but I’ve had my stumbling blocks along the way and he is there to fix me up every now and then.

  Scottie is typically able to open Seth up some, giving him a source for venting or ‘male’ interaction. Whatever he has needed since Austin passed, Scottie has done his best to meet the need. Sometimes though, the company he keeps isn’t appropriate for the boys, so I always try to make advance plans. Last night was the exception, only because I didn’t take the boys, which thankfully I didn’t. It has been a rough week both at work and with Seth going through a phase of isolating himself from the world via video games and having attitude any time you ask him about it.

  I didn’t stay at Scottie’s long because things started to get a little too intense for my liking but I did notice one guy who seemed different than the rest. Michael, I believe was his name. I’d never seen him before. He definitely caught my eye, but I know the kind of company Scottie usually has around his place. Although Michael did look much younger, I was looking forward to seeing him around more. I must admit I wasn’t impressed with seeing him sniff a line of coke, and join in on the activities. I was hoping he would be different from the rest of them. I felt something between us last night the second his eyes locked onto mine which was something I haven’t felt in a while. I thought for a moment maybe he would be worth me putting myself out there. But the second I saw him join in on the coke fest in the middle of Scottie’s party, I instantly locked the steel wall back around myself, and bolted away from that idea.

  Realizing the kids had finished breakfast and were no longer at the table, I grabbed the dishes, rinsed them off and placed them in the dishwasher, before pulling out my phone and pressing call on Scottie’s number.

  •••••••••••••

  “Boys, get in the shower and get ready to head to Scottie’s; he said we can come over there,” I shout up the stairs towards the boys’ bedrooms.

  I hear the water turn on and the boys fighting each other to see who goes first. I begin looking forward to taking the kids over to Scottie’s to get them out of the house for a bit. As soon as I told the boys that Scottie wanted us to come over for dinner tonight instead of tomorrow night, Hunter started practically bouncing off of the walls with excitement. He’s been counting down the hours since the second I told him. Every twenty minutes he comes barreling down the stairs running around, to ask me if it was time to go yet. “As soon as your brother finishes getting ready we can go. Tell him to hurry up,” I say, grabbing the last few things I need for Scottie’s as I see Hunter run into Seth’s room.

  “Hunter, Seth, let’s go!” I said in a stern voice.

  “I’m coming, jeez,” Seth snaps at me, with what can only be described as his permanent pre-teenage attitude filled tone he uses whenever talking to me lately. Hunter following closely behind him with a big grin on his face. On the way to Scottie’s, the boys begin to argue. I turn up the music and zone out for the remainder of the drive, hoping the boys will calm down before we get to Scottie’s. The drive equaling all of about fifteen minutes.

  As I pull into Scottie’s, I notice an extra car in his driveway, sparking my curiosity. Scottie usually leaves it to just family for dinner, especially when the boys are coming unless he tells me otherwise. Seth and Hunter both run up to the door and barge right in. Walking in I see Scottie, give him a hug and say, “Thanks for having us over for dinner, the boys have been dying to see you.”

  I notice the guy from the party last night behind Scottie with a bright glistening smile as our eyes meet. He’s sitting on the oversized leather sectional with a game controller in his hand, game paused to see who was joining him for dinner.

  Why he is here is lost on me. But a small part of me is happy he’s here because I do want to see him more; he’s for sure a looker. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about him no matter how many times I tell myself that I need to. Instantly my heart rate kicks up a notch as it quickly begins racing against my chest as he mouths, “Hi”, to me from across the room, before standing up and setting down the game controller, and begins introducing himself to the boys with fist bumps.

  “Hey guys! I’m Scottie’s friend, Michael. You must be Seth,” he says, taking in my son who already stands taller than me and has the same blond hair as I do. They fist bump, and I actually see a genuine smile form at the corners of Seth’s mouth. Michael turns his attention to Hunter, who’s bouncing like a rabbit running for his life in front of him, desperate for his attention. Laughing, he holds his fist out to Hunter, getting him to stop moving long enough to fist bump him, “You must be Hunter. I’ve heard so much about you guys from Scottie. I hope you don’t mind me crashing your dinner and maybe joining in on this epic video game battle I keep hearing about from Scottie.”

  Even though I hate to admit it, watching him with my boys, being so nice and relaxed with them, it is melting my heart. I can’t deny that seeing both of my boys standing before me with big bright smiles stretched across their faces eases my nerves and makes me consider that maybe I jumped too quickly to judge Michael.

  “Scottie why is he here?” I asked under my breath, crossing my arms.

  “He was already here when you called. I didn’t see an issue with him staying for dinner; he’s new to the area and a good friend,” Scottie responds, shrugging his shoulders. Scottie walks into the living room to greet the boys. Michael stands, walking towards me.

  “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to intrude on your dinner. Will it bother you if I stay? I’m Michael by the way,” he says, extending his hand.

  “I remember you from last night. I’m Megan, Scottie’s cousin. If you want to stay… I suppose you can, you’re already here and I would seem like a total bitch if I said no, so please join us,” my tone slightly controversial, reaching out to shake his hand. He’s as physically attractive as I remember and far more considerate than most of Scottie’s friends who wouldn’t give a flying rat’s ass if I cared about their presence for dinner or not. Would have been nice to have a head’s up though, so I could have tried to look a little bit nicer.

  Hunter is already pulling on Michael’s arm, begging him to go outside and play. Seth makes himself comfortable on the couch without much to say to Michael and only a few things to Scottie, mainly because Seth is starting up the Xbox already. Scottie joins Seth on the couch and they begin to play a video game. I wish he would do something else besides… that.

  Chapter 3

  Michael

  Scottie told me his cousin was coming over but I had no clue it was her, my mystery girl from last night. At least now I know her name, Megan, which is just as beautiful as she is. Just when I thought I was never going to see her again, she comes strolling in looking like a fucking angel on Earth, but the heated look in her eyes the minute they landed on me. They touched my soul and made me cringe with desire and her two boys, man, they are way cool. I think it’s safe to say that the feeling isn’t mutual. I was curious as to their connection, considering how different she was from all of the others from last night. Now it makes sense, sh
e just wants to keep an eye on family. I would’ve never suspected she had a child, much less two. Her youngest seems to be starving for male attention and not in the least bit shy, unlike his mom, who seems pretty reserved.

  “Hey, little man. Can I play?” I ask, squatting down to be eye level with him.

  He’s sitting on the floor playing with a pile of Matchbox cars and a small track with a loop for the cars.

  “Really?! You want to play cars with me? I ask my brother to play all the time but he always says he’s too old to play cars, because he’s twelve now,” he responds in the cutest voice, handing me a couple of Matchbox cars. The sadness in his eyes breaks my heart.

  I sit down on the floor, pushing one of them across the hardwood.

  “Too old? Well, I say you’re never too old to have fun, so I’ll will gladly play cars with you, Hunter. How old are you, buddy?” I ask as I set the race car on the track and press a button, making it shoot down the track and around the loop, stopping as it crosses the finish line.

  “Wow! That was awesome!” he exclaims with excitement filling his eyes. “I can never hit it hard enough to make it get all the way around the track,” he says, setting his car where I had mine just a moment ago.

  “I’m six,” he says, looking up at me with a grin that reveals his missing teeth. He’s a cute little shit; I can see why a guy like Scottie who could spend every moment of his life surrounded by endless beautiful women, chooses to spend some of his free time with Megan’s kids. Hell, they are his family.