by Gail Haris
“I thought you were in shape?” I mock him.
“I think you know how well in shape I am.” He gives me a smug smile. He walks farther in the apartment and spreads his arms. “Here’s your new home. Any changes you want to make off the top of your head?” he asks when he flips on the lights.
“A Christmas tree!”
He looks at me confused. I clap my hands together. “Let’s go purchase our first Christmas tree together and put it up. It’s December! We need a tree!”
He looks at his phone. “It’s already nine-thirty. Don’t you have work and an early class tomorrow?”
“We’re in college! We’re supposed to have late nights. Let me have this one moment of crazy. Don’t be responsible now.” I bite my lip and bounce on my feet.
He smiles and rolls his eyes. “Don’t complain in the morning then. Let’s go.” I practically skip back to his SUV. Trent gives me a sideways glance as he reverses out of the driveway. “You did mean a fake tree, right? Also, the only place open this late is, probably, Walmart.”
“Yes, yes, yes. I can’t wait! This is all happening so fast.”
“Yeah, I think we should’ve held off a little while on the Christmas tree.” Trent feigns concern. “It’s a little unorthodox to get a tree together this soon in our relationship. If you think we should wait a couple of days, we can. I don’t want to rush you into anything you’re uncomfortable with.” He tries to fight back a smile, but he can’t help himself.
“I think we’re already going through the most life changing event possible, with a baby on the way.”
“True. Purchasing a fake tree tonight is exciting, but it’ll only affect our lives for a month.”
“It’ll affect our lives way longer than a month. If we get the perfect tree, we’ll use it every year.”
He leaves one hand on the steering wheel, while using his other one to take mine. He brings my hand to his lips and kisses my knuckles. “Let’s find the perfect tree then.”
It’s almost midnight, by the time we’re back to his—our—apartment with our first Christmas tree. “Are you sure you want to take it out of the box now?”
I clap my hands and bounce on my feet. “Yes, yes, yes!”
Trent begins pulling parts of the tree out of the box. As he gets the tree assembled, I begin opening the boxes of lights. Once the tree is standing and filled with branches, together, we string lights, drape garland and hang our new ornaments while Christmas music fills the apartment.
I smile as I think about how much I love Christmas time. “You know, my grandmother has a bunch of ornaments that’ve been in the family for years. I wonder if she’ll pass them down to me now that I have my own tree.”
“I don’t see why she wouldn’t. My parents haven’t put up their tree yet. They’re waiting for all of us to be home. You’re going to come help decorate at my house, too, right?”
“If you want me to.”
He gives me a smile that says, what do you think? I try to keep myself from breaking into a full out cheesy grin and focus back on the tree. When we’ve finished, we step back and wrap an arm around each other. The tree is beautiful, just like this moment.
I feel like a huge weight has been lifted when finals are over. Today is my last day working at the campus cafeteria. It’s not quite time for my shift, so I find a table to sit, while I wait. My body is to the point now where I’m constantly uncomfortable and tired. My little dragonfly is not so little anymore. The little beast is always hungry and never wants to sleep, it seems. He now moves through the night, keeping me awake, by using my bladder as a trampoline. I guess this is good practice for what’s to come.
With no more classes to study for, I’m unsure what to do first with my free time: naming our child, deciding on a nursery theme, picking where to have the nursery, buying baby supplies, etc. I’m making a Pinterest board when my phone receives a photo from Trent. It’s a flyer of parenting and pregnancy classes at the University hospital.
Trent: I saw this at my work today. We should do it!
Me: It starts in an hour. I work tonight.
Trent: Ask off?
Me: It’s too close to time. What if they fire me?
Trent: The campus closes next week…
Me: But what if I want this job for Fall?
Trent: Rachel…
Me: Trent…
Trent: I think we need to do this.
Me: I can’t believe U even want to!
Trent: I can’t believe you’re not more excited. I’m freaking out. I want to know exactly what I need to do. I don’t have the first clue what to expect.
Me: Aren’t you an older brother?
Trent: Like I was part of changing diapers as a kid?! I mean really, Rach.
Me: Okay. I’ll be there.
Trent: Good. Because it was going to be really awkward being there by myself.
Trent: I’ll come get you in thirty minutes.
Me: You’re already there. I’ll come to you.
Trent: It’s no trouble. I’ll come get you.
Trent has been babying me more, especially now that I’m so far along. I explain to my boss there’s a parenting and pregnancy class I just found out about and I really want to go to. He understood and wished me luck, having a feeling Trent and I will need it.
I spot Trent’s truck, heading toward me, down the road. I stand on the sidewalk and wait for him.
“Rachel.”
I turn around to see Jonah. “Hey, Jonah.”
He gives me a sad smile and walks toward me with his hands in his pocket. “I’ve been meaning to call you. This is better, though. I’m really glad I ran into you.”
Trent’s truck pulls up. He doesn’t get out, but watches us.
Jonah follows my line of sight and waves to Trent. “Let’s go over there. I need to tell you both something.”
Trent rolls down his window. “Hello.”
“I want to apologize.” Jonah meets my eyes and then looks to Trent. “I owe you both an apology. I’m really sorry. I wish you guys the best of luck with your relationship and becoming parents.”
He gives us a small smile and a curt nod, then turns his back and walks away.
“Take a deep cleansing breath. Now exhale. Partners massage mom. Shoulders are heavy. Fingers are soft. Take another deep cleansing breath. Exhale.” The instructor’s soothing voice blends with the soft music playing in the background.
Trent massages my shoulders, and it feels amazing. “See? Aren’t you glad we came?”
“This is nice.”
“Okay, I’m going to discuss the stages of labor,” she says. Trent takes out a notebook and a pen as I sit on the birthing ball in front of him.
“Stages? I thought there was just labor,” Trent whispers in my ear.
“Shh. I’m listening.”
“Twelve hours? You could be in labor for twelve hours?”
“Trent,” I whisper-hiss.
“I’m sorry.” Trent goes back to focusing on the lady in front of us.
“Remember five, one, one. Five minutes apart for a one-hour period and the contractions last for one minute.”
Trent quickly scribbles 511. I smile and then focus back on our instructor, Donna. She begins to discuss ways we can use the birthing ball to help with contractions and cervix opening during stage one of labor. She holds a cervical dilation chart up, and my eyes about pop out of my head.
“Rachel.”
I lean back and elbow him. “I see, now shush.”
The lady’s finger moves over each circle that is a life-size replica of dilation. When she gets to seven, which is about the size of an orange, Trent loudly whispers, “That last row is also part of it, too?”
Donna laughs. “The woman’s body is amazing. It stretches wide enough for a baby’s head to pass through.”
An older woman, sitting next to us, looks over at Trent and laughs. “You didn’t think a baby’s head was that small, did you?” She points to the top line.
“It has to get out somehow.”
“It’s just—it’s different seeing a comparison of how much it actually stretches.” Trent swallows. He looks a little pale.
Donna smiles and points to the last circle on the grid. “When you reach a ten, it’ll open to about the size of a grapefruit.”
“A grapefruit,” Trent whispers.
“Let’s talk about what you can do for yourself and what your partner can do for you, as you go through this.”
As Donna keeps speaking, Trent’s eyes keep getting wider. She takes a baby doll wrapped in a cloth. She indicates how the mother pushes and how the baby will come through the birth canal. She then moans in pain when she pretends to push, and I can’t help but look back at a terrified Trent.
“You wanted to be here,” I whisper to him.
“I think I’m more scared.”
“Okay, guys. Let’s discuss what happens now that you have your baby.” Donna holds the baby doll close to her chest.
Trent takes a deep breath and releases it. When Donna discusses the uterus clamping down and the placenta delivering, Trent leans toward me, again, and whispers, “This is exactly why I chose physical therapy. I could never be a doctor or a nurse. I’m glad we didn’t eat before this.”
“Are you going to be able to handle being in the delivery room?”
“I’m not missing this. I’ll be able to handle it for you.”
Donna clasps her hands together. “It was wonderful working with you. I wish you all the best in your birthing journey. We’re going to take a short break, and then Holly is going to come in here to discuss bringing baby home.”
We clap as Donna makes her exit. Trent slides forward, encasing me, between his legs. “Well, that was interesting.”
“You could say that.”
“I’m going to have nightmares about Donna’s moans.” I burst out laughing, but he continues, “But I learned some new techniques for giving you massages.”
“That was worth hearing her moans for.”
“I wouldn’t go that far.”
Holly enters the room. “Hello! Congratulations on becoming parents. The first thing I want to stress to you guys is you’re a team in this. You won’t remember, if either one of you did everything perfect, but you will remember how you made each other feel. So, when those long nights come and you’re exhausted, just remember to try and be nice to each other. Be supportive. Stay a team, so that you start your family off right. Okay? Let’s begin.”
I rub my belly as Holly tells us how our baby will remember our voice and know us. She discusses holding the baby and skin to skin contact. My eyes begin to water because that’s going to be me. I’m going to hold my baby. Everyone in the room disappears; my focus is on listening to Holly tell me what’s best for my baby. “You’re the mother. Take this time to bond with your baby.”
Bond with my baby? We’ve already bonded, but I can’t wait to actually hold him and bond all over again. I don’t even know if I’m making sense. I just know I can’t wait to hold my baby.
We all receive a baby doll. Holly walks everyone through changing diapers, feeding, burping, and swaddling. Trent is ever the studious one. He takes notes and asks Holly several questions. I think I might have just fallen in love with him a little more.
As we are leaving, I stop Trent in front of his truck.
“Do you feel like going shopping?”
“Shopping? Yeah, I guess.”
“Maybe we could go look at swaddles?”
Trent laughs. “You know, I’m glad they showed us those blankets and explained what it means to ‘swaddle.’ I seriously thought it had something to do with a duck.”
“You did not!”
“I’m dead serious.”
“What do you think about having the nursery in neutral colors?” I pick up a beautiful mint green baby blanket. It’s so soft, the color and the material.
“That works for me. And we’re still going with a Godzilla theme?” Trent examines the different swaddle blankets. “Perfect! I found our swaddle blanket.” He holds up a thin gauze material that’s covered in tiny yellow ducks.”
“Oh my gosh, that’s adorable.” I walk over to him and take the swaddle blanket. “But I’m going to vote ‘no’ on the Godzilla theme.”
“Game of Thrones theme? I’ll get you a shirt that says Mother of Dragons.”
“No, but I will take that shirt.”
We continue down the aisle. This stuff is expensive, and we need so much of it. Right now, I’m trying to enjoy browsing and the excitement of a little one. I pass by a gorgeous bassinet that’s cream colored. There’s a tiny dragon fly dangling above it. “Dragonflies. I want to do the theme in dragonflies.” My fingers gently touch the little dragonfly.
Trent wraps his arms around me from behind, his hands placed gently on my belly. “I want that, too.”
I’m officially done with everything. I’m no longer working at the REC center or cafeteria, until after my pregnancy and I figure out what’s my new normal. I promised Alice we’d have a girl’s day today, but she won’t tell me where we’re going.
“In fact, to keep my surprise…” She pulls out a blindfold.
“No way. I’m going to get car sick.”
“Then take a nap. Now put it on.” I laugh as she ties the blindfold. “Relax and enjoy the ride.”
I’m not sure how much time has passed, because I did end up taking a nap. Alice unties my blindfold, and I blink several times. “We’re back in Lumberton?” I look around the familiar scenery.
“Yes, we are! Come on.” Alice hops out of the car and skips around to my side. I open the door and practically roll out. “Let’s go eat.”
I narrow my eyes at her, and we walk to the entrance of the Lumberton Country Club. Once inside, I gasp. The dining room has mint green and white balloons as well as mint green decorations everywhere. When I get fully inside the room, it’s full of people, and I notice the decorations are of dragonflies.
“Alice? What is all this?”
“You said I could throw you a baby shower! Trent told me to do dragonflies and mint green as the color.”
And just like that, I’m a blubbering mess.
I hate that I’m crying in front of everyone, but I can’t help it. My mom and Melissa come up and both hug me. I walk around and greet everyone. I about pee myself when Bexley runs up and hugs me. “Oh my gosh! Welcome to Lumberton!”
She laughs. “You didn’t think I’d miss your baby shower, did you? Also, it’s been fun seeing this side of your life.”
“It’s not really that interesting.”
“Are you kidding? Chicka, you’ve been nothing but interesting since day one.”
We have a sit-down lunch, and I enjoy visiting with people from church and school, and it seems like everyone I’ve ever met is here.
“Alice, how did you manage all this?”
She smiles. “Actually, your mom helped me a lot.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. She really wanted to be involved and handled a big chunk of it. She ordered the cake, ordered pre-approved decorations by Denise, got me a guest list, and helped pick out your favorite items from the menu. Melissa organized booking the venue. Denise did all the decorating.”
“So, what did you do exactly?”
We both laugh. She, playfully, nudges my shoulder. “I got you here, didn’t I?”
“Thank you so much. You’re the best.”
Once I’ve finished eating, Denise is ready for me to open gifts. She has a chair ready for me in front of everyone. Alice sits next to me with a notepad to write down who gave what gifts.
“Open Alice’s first.” Denise hands me a gorgeously wrapped mint green box. I, carefully, slide off the ribbon. Inside are the most gorgeous dragonfly paintings. “They’re for your nursery. Wherever you decide to have it.”
“Alice! These are gorgeous. Did you paint them?”
She blushes and nods. Denise hands me another box simila
rly wrapped. “Now you can open mine.”
I open to find the softest and most gorgeous blanket with little dragonflies on it.
“Denise, this is incredible. Where did you find it?”
Melissa smiles with watery eyes. “She made it.”
“Are you serious?” I ask her.
“It’s nothing. I sometimes have trouble sleeping, so this gave me something to do.”
“Denise, thank you. This is perfect.”
She blushes and quickly turns away. “I’m glad you like it. When you decide on a name, I’ll add it on there. Okay, here’s one from… somebody.” She grabs a box and hands it to me.
I go through opening several gifts. When I’m finally at the end of the gifts, Denise hands me a bag from my mom. I open the bag to find several blankets and a stuffed bear that has seen better days.
“They’re yours.” My mom smiles. “From when you were a baby.”
“Thanks, Mom. Thank you for everything.”
The last gift is a huge box. I unwrap it and gasp. “Who is this from?”
“It’s from Trent.”
Of course, it is. It’s the bassinet with the little dragonfly.
It’s two weeks before Christmas. We decide to go back to Lumberton to visit the family, but we plan to come back because I have my doctor’s appointments.
We enter the Randall home that’s now a Winter Wonderland. Their home is always magical this time of year, but Landon’s absence is noticeable. Melissa is busy in the kitchen, excited to feed us, while Richard and Denise are in the den. I go into the kitchen to help Melissa, while Trent goes to hang out with his father and sister. Alice has one more final to complete, but she’s driving to the airport after her classes to pick up Noah. He’s finally coming home. I begin to feel a few cramps, but ignore them, assuming it’s just the baby’s position. I learned in birthing class that this is normal during my last month.