A Wanted Man (Cold Case Detectives Book 1)

by Jennifer Morey

  “Is it?” she challenged. “Is it really enough? Or is living without love a sentence you don’t deserve? No one should live with grief the rest of their lives.” Isn’t that what he’d done? Chosen to live with grief rather than love?

  Dropping his arm, he stepped toward her. “You’re doing the same thing. You push men away or keep them at a distance. Why is that?”

  She backed up against the wall, taking her hands out of her pockets and resting them on her thighs. “I haven’t found love yet.”

  But she could with him. The thought snuck into her head and shocked her.

  “Why do people have to find happiness in marriage? There are other sources of happiness.”

  “Like what? Solving crimes? Isn’t that what you were doing before your daughter was killed?” She doubted he’d talked this much about his loss with anyone before now. Before her. Maybe this was the first time anyone had made him examine his choices.

  “Yes, but as a homicide detective, I saw my cases much differently after Annabelle was murdered. It became a different job.”

  His job had become more of a mission. He no longer caught killers of strangers. He caught killers like the one who’d taken his daughter.

  “I had purpose before, but now that purpose is much deeper,” he said, confirming what she’d thought. “I help others who are going through what I did. I fight the evil that did that to them.”

  While commendable, catching murderers didn’t seem like a very healthy source of happiness. “What else?”

  He searched her face before remembering her original question. “I find happiness in fishing. Friends. Any hobbies or social interaction.”

  Social interaction that didn’t involve women and love. “Social interaction with what? A dog?”

  He breathed a single laugh, soft and sardonic. “Sure, a dog. If I didn’t travel so much.”

  She took pleasure in seeing his amusement, the easing of strain the idea of a dog brought out in him. He needed to feel like that more often, to be shown that life could throw devastation at people, but love made everything bearable. Life didn’t have to be about doom and gloom all the time. Maybe he understood that. Maybe he avoided heartbreak by totally shunning the possibility of another wife and child. Maybe the reminders a new family would bring were just too painful to attempt.

  “So, how about that shower?” he asked.

  Was he kidding? If he believed he was safe with her...

  Stepping toward him, she flattened her hands on his bare chest. “You think you can take a shower with me and come out of it unscathed?”

  A lopsided grin hitched up his mouth. “Unscathed?”

  Running her finger down his bare chest, she was melting inside by the time she reached his abdomen. So hard. Rippling. God...had he always been this hot? His wife had been a lucky lady.

  She felt so much. This passion. This heated desire. She tipped her head back and he kissed her. Another night like the last and she’d be on her way to losing herself in him.

  Don’t risk it.

  But that went against her nature. Risk? What risk? How would she know if he was the one if she didn’t take a risk?

  His mouth grazed over hers, his warm breath mixing with hers, sweet and healthy. She kissed him with all she felt inside and heard him groan.

  This desire spiraled to the outreaches of her control, beyond any realm she’d experienced with any other man. She needed control.

  “Am I the first woman you had sex with since your wife passed?” she breathed against his mouth.

  Kadin stopped kissing her, his passion still roaring, setting his face with dark intensity.

  “Am I?”

  “Yes,” he rasped, and then stepped back.

  Her hands slipped off his torso and she stumbled backward, once again against the wall. So she was his first? Penny wasn’t sure how she felt about that.

  As long as she didn’t expect anything from him, she’d go on as she normally did. Building her career, no time for a serious relationship. Innocent flirting and really good sex. Did it get any better than that? No, not unless she did start expecting something from him.

  Leaning her head back, she closed her eyes and ran her hands down her body, on fire for him. Desire all but crawled out of her skin.

  “Don’t do that,” he growled.

  A glimmer of hope opened her eyes. He watched her touching herself, her desire so palpable that he must feel it, feel how her body yearned for him. Having tasted his quenching of her before, the temptation only grew stronger.

  “Why not?” she asked, not stopping her hands, moving them over her breasts and then back down to just above her crotch.

  He didn’t respond.

  Emboldened, Penny left the wall and went to him, sliding her hands over his shoulders and pressing her body to his. Then, with one hand curved around the back of his head, she rose onto her toes and kissed him.

  “You should think twice about this,” he said against her seeking lips.

  “Yeah?” She raked her teeth over his lower lip for a gentle nip. “Maybe you should.”

  “I have.” He took her mouth for a harder kiss. “Do you mind being the rebound girl?”

  She jerked back and searched his eyes. He meant what he’d said. She’d be the rebound girl, the first woman he’d been with since his wife died. Did she want that? Of course not. Maybe she already was his rebound girl. After all, they’d already slept together once before. But if she cooled things now, she could blame it on one night of stupidity, not a broken heart she could have easily spared herself.

  She eased away, burning for him, near to giving in and taking the risk just to feel him moving back and forth inside her, hard steel stroking soft, hot flesh to shivering pleasure. What was it about him that turned her on so much? His mystery? The challenge?

  Did she want what she couldn’t have?

  Stepping back some more, she studied him, needing to find the answer. Physically he turned her on more than any other man she could recall. His masculine body, so tall and strong. Shaggy hair. Piercing eyes. Rugged face. He had it all.

  But more lurked in the silvery shadows of his eyes. Behind them. In the tragedy-stricken gleam of them. In the strength of them. This man would not lie down easily. Loss had not beaten him.

  Penny suspected he still engaged in that battle. Maybe that was what intrigued her. How a man like him could fight so hard to avenge the deaths of his loved ones. Many would simply accept the loss. But Kadin had not accepted his. Would he ever? Did anyone who lost what he had? No, Kadin was a changed man.

  Who was he before his wife and daughter died? And who was he now?

  Homicide detective and family man before. Vigilante after.

  She realized then that his bold, relentless spirit was what drew her. She’d met and been with fearless and smart men before, but none had the gritty edge this one possessed. It was what magnetized her, the very thing that should make her run. For that gritty edge was what would ultimately drive him away from her.

  Even after three long years, Kadin was nowhere near ready for love.

  Chapter 7

  While Penny hosted a two-hour meeting that included Jax, Kadin sat in a nearby café searching through the files Detective Cohen had given him. At his request, Cohen had gathered up all the missing persons reports for the past five years in Utah. Kadin had just finished narrowing them down to two young girls whose disappearance bore similarities to Sara Wolfe’s. One girl had been found murdered and the other was still missing. After organizing their files into a folder on his laptop, he checked his phone for the time.

  Penny would be finishing up soon.

  “Can I get you some more coffee?”

  He looked up to see the smiling, twentysomething waitress. Her blinding-white teeth and sky-
blue eyes hinted to interest that went beyond cajoling for a good tip. Her long blond hair was up in a ponytail. Left down, he’d bet, it would be thick and shiny. Two things struck him. One, she was a little young for him, and two, this had to be the first time he’d noticed a woman sending him signals since his wife died.

  Did Penny have something to do with that?

  “No, thanks, I’m finished.”

  “What are you working on?” she asked.

  Kadin wasn’t sure how to answer that. He didn’t really want to get into an explanation. Neither did he think discussing the case with a stranger wise.

  “Is it that girl’s murder case?”

  He turned a surprised look at her. “Excuse me?”

  “I recognize you from the news. They said you were going to help catch her killer.”

  “Yes. I am. Can I get my ticket, please?” He began to put away his laptop.

  “I just love your ad,” the waitress said, obviously not getting the hint. “For your new agency? Dark Alley Investigations.” She wrinkled her nose and narrowed her eyes as though silently growling her kitty-like, desirous fascination.

  “That wasn’t an ad. A reporter interviewed me and asked me to sit like that.” He closed his laptop case with a weary sigh.

  “Well, it might as well be an ad.” She pulled out a folded piece of paper from her apron pocket. “In case you feel like rescuing me sometime...”

  Rescuing her? Kadin slowly took the paper. She actually gave him her number?

  Next, she put his ticket on the table. “There aren’t enough people like you in the world.”

  “Thanks.” He smiled politely and she smiled back with a mouthed, Call me.

  He watched her walk away, dumbfounded by her forwardness. Did he appear open to women’s advances now or something? He didn’t know whether to thank Penny or blame her.

  Paying for his coffee, he left the shop and crossed the street. A short walk down the block, he reached the front entry of Avenue One. Up the elevator, he stepped out and entered the double glass doors of the ad agency.

  “Mr. Tandy,” the receptionist greeted with a smile. “I’ll tell Penny’s assistant that you’re here.”

  He waited for her to make a quick call to announce his arrival. When she hungup the phone, she said, “Jordan will be right here.”

  “Thanks.” He stepped away from the desk and looked toward the offices. Seconds later, a woman approached.

  “You can come on back, Mr. Tandy,” she said.

  Penny’s assistant led him toward the offices. “Penny told me about your daughter,” she said as they walked through a maze of cubicles. “I’m so sorry. That’s so tragic.”

  As always, Kadin felt like biting a bullet to control his annoyance. What were people sorry for? How could anyone feel regret or offer an apology for something that hadn’t happened to them? Sorry I didn’t save your daughter, Mr. Tandy. Sorry you had to lose your little girl. Sorry? Better if they just came out and said, I don’t know what that’s like and I never want to find out. Now that he’d understand and even respect.

  “It’s great what you’re doing, though,” the woman said when he didn’t respond. “With your agency.”

  “Yeah,” he replied tersely.

  “Are you making any progress on your investigation?” she asked.

  “No.”

  “Is Penny helping you?”

  “Yes.”

  Hearing people approaching behind him, he turned and saw Penny and Jax. She smiled over at the suave businessman and he smiled back. Kadin didn’t like the way he looked at her. Her beauty and sunny, confident aura seemed to be working its magic on her smitten ex. And whatever they’d just chatted about clearly hadn’t been business.

  “Well, if it isn’t the famous PI,” Jax said.

  “Mr. Ballard,” he greeted, shifting his glance back to Penny. She’d put her auburn hair up today and a few wavy strands hung down along her face. Green eyes fringed with mascara and nothing more looked back at him. Her plump lips were glossed a soft color. The white blouse beneath her dark gray skirt suit came to the start of her cleavage. He stopped his wandering right there.

  “Penny.”

  “You turn up at the damnedest times,” Jax groused. “Are you staked out somewhere nearby?”

  Penny put her hand on his right biceps, attempting to placate him, to minimize his threatened ego. “I’ll meet you at your log house tomorrow afternoon. I’ll call you when I leave.”

  What? Kadin didn’t try to hide his frown. She couldn’t possibly mean that she’d go away with him again, somewhere remote.

  “I’ll look forward to that.” Jax grinned wickedly at Kadin.

  When he strode away, Kadin turned to Penny expectantly. “Let’s talk in my office.”

  Following her there, he couldn’t help admiring her long, slender legs. Legs that had wrapped around him. Legs that were made to wrap around a man. That last thought only frustrated him for his lack of control over his thoughts, and instincts.

  “You’re not going to his house in the mountains,” he bit out as he closed the door.

  “He invited me. I couldn’t say no.” She dropped her notepad onto her desk and sat on her chair.

  Kadin moved between the two chairs before the desk and leaned over from the opposite side. “Yes, you could have. All you had to do was say this, No.”

  She tipped her head to one side and eyed him defiantly.

  “It’s too dangerous,” he said.

  “You’ll be there.”

  “Oh, I will? In the house with you?”

  “Or outside.” She waved her hands in circles above her desk to help illustrate what she meant to say. “With whatever gadgets you have.”

  He straightened from the desk. “Gadgets don’t help if somebody has a weapon.”

  “Jax wouldn’t try to kill me.” She scoffed. “In his own home?” She picked up a pen and tapped it on a thick document.

  “He parked a white pickup truck in his barn.”

  She put down the pen. “Allegedly.”

  He sent her a derisive look. She couldn’t afford to be careless.

  “He trusts me,” she argued.

  “He might be pretending to trust you.”

  “Okay. But he still might talk.” She stood, hands on her desk.

  Kadin sighed and went to the other end of her office. She could be walking right into a trap. But if he did go with her and camped outside...

  While she slept where?

  “I’ll sleep in his guest room. That’s where I slept last time.” She stepped around her desk and approached, a teasing gleam in her eyes. Stopping in front of him, she said, “And you say you aren’t jealous.” Slipping her hands onto his shoulders, she leaned against him.

  The roar of desire flamed through him. He put his hands on her rear for a brief caress...and then left his hands there. Her soft, moist lips called to him. So did the way her smile faded and smoky, sultry passion left her mouth parted and eyes dreamy. Without even trying she lured him.

  Leaning down, he kissed her. The warm touch seared his senses. He kissed her harder. She answered the insistent request, melding to his mouth, fueling the fire hotter.

  He pulled away, incredulous that she made him feel this way so easily. He stepped back. He’d lose control with her if this continued. Did he need control? Why did he feel he did?

  Arielle.

  And Annabelle, of course.

  Penny had roused his passions so fast he hadn’t had time to analyze how he felt about her—or any woman—getting this close to him. He should have prepared himself for this, for not being ready for commitment. Because that was what it felt like, the beginning of a serious relationship.

  Everything in him resisted. “Do me a f
avor and stop telling everyone about my daughter.”

  “What? I didn’t tell anyone.”

  “You told your assistant,” he snapped.

  “All I told her was that you lost your wife and daughter.”

  “Yeah, and she said she was sorry.”

  She stared at him for a long time, several seconds. He could hear her thoughts. His extreme reaction didn’t match the offense. So her assistant said she was sorry. He should be able to handle that. Maybe he should even appreciate the sympathy.

  “I don’t like talking about it,” he said.

  “I’ll ask her not to bring it up again.”

  “Forget about it. Are you ready to go? I am.”

  She stared at him for several seconds again, calling him on his behavior without words. “Sure. I just need a moment to gather my things. I’ll have to work from home tonight.”

  “I’ll wait for you in the parking garage.”

  * * *

  Jax had a lunch ready when Penny arrived at his mountain home. His son, Quinten, was here again. At least she wouldn’t be alone with him.

  Closing the car door, she faced the house and opened her purse and said into it, “You’ll be happy to know Quinten is here.” Kadin’s listening device was somewhere in there. “There’ll be no mad, passionate lovemaking happening tonight. Guess I’ll have to wait until you build up your courage again.”

  Leaving her purse open, she laughed quietly and headed for the front door.

  When Jax let her in, she leaned in for a brief hug. Quinten was in the kitchen, taking plates out.

  “I brought takeout from a good Chinese place in town.”

  “Fabulous.” She put her purse down on the kitchen table and sat. The teenager handed her a plate and sat next to her, his dad across from him. She dished out some broccoli and beef.

  “You starting college this fall, Quinten?” she asked.

  He finished chewing a mouthful, fork in hand and hovering over the plate, lanky form hunched a little. “Yes.”

  “What are you studying?”

  “Chemistry.” He scooped more food into his mouth, a young person who could eat whatever, however much he wanted.