Natasha's Diary

by Heather Greenis

  “Brodie’s with your momma and Goldie. She will be loved.”

  “I know. Goldie has a new playmate in heaven. I know they’ll be friends, but it hurts, Poppa.”

  “Yes. As with Goldie, our hearts need time to heal.”

  Hope tilted her head and spoke softly into the heavens. “I beg of you, God. You have Momma, Goldie, and Brodie. Don’t take Adam or Poppa. I need them.”

  Stewart kissed the side of her head and then walked off, extending his hand to Izabella.

  That night, lying in bed, he considered getting another dog. Finally falling asleep, he dreamed of Natasha. She reminded him that Hope was a grown woman and long past the point where she needed her poppa to buy her a new puppy. Her life would change once she married Adam and moved into his home. Another dog would not be a good idea.

  Chapter Fifty-Three

  On her graduation day Hope sat and looked into the crowd searching for their families. Her father and Izabella were sitting with Aunt Vicki and Uncle Greg, Nana and Papa, Nanny, and Mrs. Venderkemp. Mr. Venderkemp had to stay at the orphanage.

  Adam had been asked to be valedictorian but declined. She couldn’t imagine his nerves if he were to stand at the podium and speak publicly, but he was honoured to be considered. Hearing her name, Hope adjusted her black cap and gown and walked onto the stage to receive her diploma. Returning to her seat, she waited and watched as Adam accepted his.

  “The competition is over,” Adam announced once they had a private moment. “I’m proud to say I’ve achieved my lifelong goal of a university degree.”

  Adam removed a piece of paper from his back pocket and handed it to Hope. She looked at his final grade for their English Literature class and scrunched her nose in false disappointment.

  “You managed to achieve a grade four percent higher than mine.”

  Adam chuckled. “What of your psychology class?”

  “We are not discussing that. I’m on the dean’s list, but yours put mine to shame. I am pleased to inform you I finished with top marks in my accounting class.”

  “Congratulations, Miss Donovan. I’m proud of you.”

  Glowing, they walked toward their gathered families.

  * * *

  Her schooling complete, Hope’s attention turned to her upcoming wedding. Engrossed in preparing a guest list, she heard Poppa’s voice and then Adam’s. He had arrived. Moments later, Adam entered the dining room and kissed her cheek. He glanced over her shoulder at the list which began with Joshua and Marcus Strathroy. Adam snorted in amusement and grinned at her.

  “What would possess you to think the royal family would consider attending our wedding?” he asked.

  In all their years together, she had never spoken of her mother’s family, and Adam hadn’t been introduced to her uncles or Anna. It wasn’t an intentional decision. Hope had just never felt the need to share that information, and Adam had never asked.

  * * *

  Keeghan shook her head in disgust. “Hope, this should have been discussed a while ago. When the friendship turned into a relationship, or at least shortly after Adam proposed. Don’t keep secrets the way your momma did. It’s not necessary,” Keeghan lectured.

  “See, there is an advantage to me discussing everything,” Will informed her. “No secrets.”

  “Please,” Keeghan groaned. “There has to be a happy medium.”

  * * *

  “Please sit, Adam. There is something we need to discuss.” Adam sat on the chair beside her. “I have spoken of my momma numerous times, but I’ve never made any mention of her family. Momma did not have a typical childhood. She, along with her two brothers, were raised by a nanny, a wonderful woman whom I’m close to. Momma’s brothers—my uncles—are busy men, but I cherish the bond we share, as does Poppa.” Hope took a deep breath. “King Joshua and Prince Marcus are Momma’s brothers. Momma was born and raised a princess. She was a member of the royal family.”

  Adam slumped in his chair, both speechless and overwhelmed by the information. Turning his head away from her, he stared at the paper and shook his head.

  “You have spoken of Nanny, but I assumed it was a term of endearment for a close family friend.”

  “To me and to our family, she is a dear friend, but Nanny raised my momma.”

  “I see.”

  “I will speak with Poppa regarding my wish to invite Anna,” she continued. “I intend to invite my uncles and their families. I have not seen Uncle Joshua in some time, but visit with Uncle Marcus regularly.”

  “You have spoken of your Uncle Marcus numerous times,” Adam admitted. He stopped, placing his hand over his heart. Sweat stood out on his brow. His face took on a bleached appearance. “It’s possible King Joshua will be in attendance at my marriage,” he groaned, his voice quivering. “I’m nervous enough even with the small size of the guest list, but to have the king in the congregation … Oh my. I hope I do not disgrace myself by fainting or becoming ill at the altar.”

  “He is just a man, Adam. As you are,” Hope reminded him in an attempt to reassure him.

  “A man who just happens to a king? Nay,” he disagreed. “You are wrong, Hope.”

  “There is one more fact I wish to make you aware of.”

  Adam pressed his hand to his chest and dropped his gaze. “I’ve heard enough distressing news for one evening,” he complained.

  “This is not distressing. Poppa informed me today there is a trust fund in my name. I don’t know the value, but it will be of great assistance in managing the orphanage. It was set up after my momma’s death.”

  “Hope, no. That’s for your personal use. I will not allow—”

  “My personal use?” She went wide eyed. “Pray tell, what would I use it for? I will not require a house filled with luxurious gowns. My heart will be filled with pride if I can assist with your business. I will feel valued, and not simply like an additional body to feed and clothe.”

  “Hope, you will never be—”

  “Adam, I beg of you.” She placed her hand on his. “Allow me to do this.”

  He reached for the pen, dipped it in the inkwell, and began writing names of family and close acquaintances.

  * * *

  With Vicki and Izabella’s assistance, Hope spent three weeks looking through catalogues and modelling modern dresses at Izabella’s shop. Nothing seemed to be the perfect once in a lifetime gown she was looking for.

  * * *

  “I’m tempted to wear the yellow gown I wore the night Adam and I first went out,” Hope informed her family at the dinner table one evening. “It’s beautiful, and Adam found it pleasing.”

  “No. We will find a dress you adore, Hope. A new dress for a new beginning. Your nana and I found a dress for your momma. Actually, Stewart, do you have the gown Natasha wore?” Vicki asked.

  Leaving the dirty dishes on the table, Hope and Vicki followed Stewart up the stairs. Entering his room, Hope looked at the portrait of her parents on their wedding day. Poppa went to the chest at the foot of the bed. Seeing the gown pulled out, a warm sensation in her heart overwhelmed her. Speechless, she took the exquisite gown into her arms and hurried across the hall to her own room. Her hands trembled as she held the beautiful creation against herself. Vicki joined her and helped her into the gown.

  She re-entered her father’s room and twilled, admiring the flow of the skirt. “It’s not a perfect fit, but it is beautiful,” she admitted. “It will be a perfect day. Momma’s dress and her ring. She will be with me.”

  “Indeed, she is smiling proudly at this moment, my beautiful, darling Hope.”

  Vicki ran to the sewing room and returned with pins to make a quick adjustment.

  An hour later, Hope stared out the window, waiting for Adam to arrive on his bicycle. She greeted him with a kiss and led him into the parlour, settling on the sofa. “Have you made plans for our honeymoon?”

  “I have reserved two nights. I want you to be surprised, but I’m certain you’ll be pleased.”


  “And the remainder of our holiday?” she asked.

  “I’ve made enquiries, but I haven't set plans yet.”

  She gripped his hands. “I wish to spend time at Papa and Nana’s cottage. The Donovan cottage,” she clarified. “I haven’t spoken to them of my desire, but Poppa believes it would please them.”

  “That sounds wonderful. Together, we shall speak with them on Sunday.”

  Chapter Fifty-Four

  Two days before the wedding, Stewart and Greg chatted over their morning coffee waiting for Vicki. She joined them after a short while, kissed her husband’s cheek, and proceeded to prepare breakfast. Meat sizzled on the griddle. The tantalizing scent of bacon filled the room.

  Clang.

  The harsh noise vibrated in his ears. Stewart jumped, spilling his coffee. Spinning around, a pan rattled against the floor. Vicki raced outside. Greg pushed himself from his chair and followed her.

  “Vicki, what is wrong? Did you burn yourself?” Greg’s worried voice was clear through the open door.

  “I’m nauseated, but with the fresh air I’m feeling better now. Just give me a moment. I’ll finish preparing breakfast.”

  Vicki returned to the kitchen, drank some water, and continued the meal preparations. Stewart regarded her carefully, noting his sister’s face was still quite pale. Vicki dashed out the door for a second time. The sound of her heaving the contents of her stomach carried clearly to the kitchen. She re-entered the house, reached for a wet cloth, and wiped her face. “My apologies. I’m not feeling well. I’m going back to bed. I cannot tolerate the smell of food, and I feel faint.”

  “With all the stress of the wedding, she is not sleeping well,” Greg informed Stewart. He turned his attention back to his wife. “I’ll bring you tea and toast. You shall spend the day in bed, my love. I will come home during our lunch break to check on you.”

  “Once we get the crew working, you can return home for the day,” Stewart informed him. “I will remain available.”

  “I wasn’t ill for our wedding and there was far more stress with the preparations.”

  “In your heart, Hope is your daughter. You’re striving for perfection. You must relax. Off to bed. I’ll open a window to let fresh air into the room and return with your tea.”

  That evening, Vicki remained in bed, unable to keep her meals down. Stewart remained concerned. He had never seen his sister as ill. The day before the big event she confined herself to her room. Stewart agreed, it would be horrid if Hope were to catch the flu bug and be sick on her wedding day and honeymoon. Unable to assist with the decorating of the church, Vicki fought back tears. Greg insisted that a trip to see Doc was in order, and Stewart agreed.

  The morning of the wedding Stewart walked out of his room. Hearing the tap at the door, he hustled down the steps. Opening the door, Izabella took his breath away in a long, flowing forest-green gown with a pearl necklace and matching earrings.

  “You look very handsome in that black suit. I shall be the envy of all the women at the wedding.”

  “I do not possess the words to express my appreciation of your appearance.” He kissed her cheek and guided her into the parlour. His sister entered the room in a shimmering gold gown, placed a glass of milk on the table, and sat on a chair. He had missed her company at the breakfast table.

  “Were you able to see Doc?” he questioned. “I didn’t want to disturb you when we returned last evening.”

  “Indeed. Doc confirmed I don’t have the flu,” she announced, bursting with excitement. “I plan to witness Hope’s marriage to Adam. I’m not contagious, but I am with child.” She squealed. “Given my age, I’m to be cautious, but the baby seems to be healthy.”

  Stewart’s jaw dropped, shocked and ecstatic for her. Of course. Her queasy stomach. Natasha was so ill during the early months with Hope. Why hadn’t this occurred to me? “I’m going to be an uncle!”

  “With child? Are you sure?” Izabella inquired.

  “I was also skeptical, but Doc is certain. I can’t believe it yet. I was convinced it was not God’s will that Greg and I become parents.”

  “You shall be wonderful parents,” Stewart exclaimed. He embraced his sister.

  “Do not speak of this until after the ceremony. It is Hope’s day.” Vicki reached for a glass of milk on the small table by her side.

  “She will be ecstatic, as will Momma and Poppa.”

  Stewart left Izabella with Vicki and went into the kitchen to congratulate Greg.

  * * *

  Stewart stood at the back of the small, quaint church with his daughter. Years ago, Natasha stood in this very same spot, waiting to become his wife. The memory brought a smile to his face. Glancing toward Hope, his heart contracted painfully for a moment. She was a vision with her wavy blonde hair hanging softly against her face. Her eyes sparkled. He removed his top hat, held it in his left hand, and offered her his arm.

  “Are you nervous?” he whispered.

  “Nay, but I know Adam is.”

  He nodded. The organ music swelled. Vicki stepped into the aisle of the church followed by Mae, Hope’s friend from school.

  “Are you ready to become Mrs. Adam Venderkemp?”

  “I am, Poppa.”

  With memories of his marriage to Natasha flooding his mind, he escorted his daughter toward the altar. Looking at the sea of faces on either side, he recognized Nanny and her sister, Joshua, Marcus, and their wives. His emotions threatened to overwhelm him. He searched for his parents in the congregation. Momma was dabbing her cheek with a hankie. Stewart quickly shifted his attention to Izabella where she sat by Greg’s side. She gave him a smile, her eyes brilliant with unshed tears. Afraid of crying, he shifted his attention straight ahead. Adam was trembling, waiting for them to reach the front of the church. A single tear ran down the young man’s cheek.

  “Breathe, Adam,” Stewart whispered. He placed Hope’s hand in his. “Years from now you will recall this occasion and smile.”

  Adam’s expression didn’t change. He swallowed compulsively.

  * * *

  “This scene brings back memories of our wedding,” Keeghan told Alexander. “My God, I was no nervous. I remember walking down the aisle toward Will and thinking, ‘please get me through this day without embarrassing myself. Don’t let me trip, or pass out and faint.’ There is nothing as nasty as bad nerves.”

  Will leaned over and kissed her cheek. “You survived, and our families were thrilled to witness our marriage.”

  Chapter Fifty-Five

  Hope took her place beside Adam. He trembled, violently. She squeezed her flowers, wishing for the ability ease his anxiety. How can I help you?

  Adam began his vows. His voice cracked so badly, she barely heard his voice. His hands trembled as he held her wedding band between his fingers. She feared he would drop it. For a brief moment, she imagined the worst—the ping as the ring fell to the floor, and then the scurry to find it. The band made the ceremony official. Would they be pronounced man and wife if the ring was lost? She moved her hand, steadying Adam and guiding the proper finger to the gold band. It was official. She was Mrs. Adam Venderkemp!

  Once outside, her husband breathed deeply. The colour came back into his face. Adam began to relax.

  “The priest used the term ‘obey’ in our wedding vows. I didn’t question the word at the time for fear he would not pronounce us man and wife. I’m proud to bear your name, but I’m not comfortable with the idea of obeying you.”

  Adam chuckled for the first time that day. “I fear with your, um, outgoing personality and my shyness, that’s unlikely. It is my hope to have some say in our marriage.”

  “You shall,” she assured him. “Your opinion will be requested, valued, and appreciated.”

  Hope chatted with Poppa, Nanny, Marcus, and Joshua, while Izabella visited with Adam and his parents. Her father’s attention shifted to the guests. Following his gaze, Hope saw Anna with a stooped over, frail, white-haired man.
He appeared unable to walk on his own. By choice, Hope had yet to meet her maternal grandfather. Could this frail old man be the person who caused so much grief?

  “Is that Anna’s husband?”

  “Indeed it is,” Nanny confirmed. “That is your grandfather.”

  A sharp intake of breath drew her gaze to her father. The colour drained from his face. He did not look well. Tears pooled in his eyes while he stared at the white-haired former king. Is he recalling his life with Momma? Seeing her parents here must be painful, almost more than he can bear. I never intended this to happen. Why would Anna bring him? She reached out and touched her father’s hand.

  “I invited Anna, Poppa, but the invitation was not intended for him,” she insisted. “My apologies. I would never intentionally hurt you.”

  “It is fine, Hope. I’m ashamed of my lack of control. This is your wedding day. I’ve tarnished what should be the happiest day of your life. I saw them, and my life with your momma flashed before my eyes. That dreaded day, seeing your momma on the bed. You were only three, Hope.”

  His facial expression softened. He turned his attention back to her grandparents and gave a slight bow. “I can’t—I can’t stand here and speak with them. I can’t forgive them for hurting Natasha.”

  He turned his back and walked away. Hope raced after him, reached out, and grasped his hand.

  “My apologies Hope. I have ruined—”

  “Nay, it is I who should apologize. What possessed me to invite Anna? To believe she wouldn’t bring her husband. I should have realized seeing Anna would cause you pain.”