Zombies and Shit

by Carlton Mellick III

  When she saw the first of them, Xiu smiled. The zombie stumbled through the trees, covered in mulched vegetation, beetles and grub worms burrowed in and out of its flesh. On the side of its head, there is a wasp nest covering much of its face.

  “I get this one,” Xiu said, aiming a rifle at the corpse’s head.

  When she fired, the bullet went through a section of the wasp nest before passing into its brain. The zombie stumbled back, then turned to face Xiu’s unit, wasps buzzing angrily around its head. The zombie groaned and stepped forward.

  “Now everyone,” Xiu said.

  And they all shot bullets into the zombie, as it lumbered toward them.

  “Xiu!” called a voice from back the way they came.

  Their guardian unit had heard the gunshots. Vine and Zippo looked to her for instruction.

  “Keep firing,” she said, with a mischievous smile.

  The bullets didn’t take the zombie down, but the three punks weren’t interesting in stopping it. They just wanted to use it as target practice. As the zombie came closer, the wasps began to swarm.

  Zippo was stung first. He flinched a bit, but kept on firing. Vine was stung by three of them. The bugs left Xiu alone, so she continued firing her rifle. The two boys whimpered as more and more wasps stung them, crawling across their face and down the collars of their shirts. Xiu didn’t order a retreat. She continued shooting, giggling at the chunks of mulched flesh exploding from the corpse’s body.

  “Are we going to leave soon?” Zippo whined, cringing at the bugs crawling on his face.

  “No,” Xiu said, annoyed that her Left Arm was expressing an attitude different from hers.

  The first wasp stung Xiu and she slapped it dead against her wrist, then continued shooting. As the zombie reached them, Xiu had them withdraw a few yards. They walked backwards through the jungle, right into the middle of six more walking corpses that were coming at them from behind, drawn to the sound of gunfire.

  Just before one of the corpses grabbed Xiu by the back of her neck, a shotgun blast separated its head from its neck. Xiu turned to see her guardian, Carlos, coming through the woods after them.

  “Get down!” Carlos yelled.

  Xiu did not get down, so neither did the rest of her unit. They turned and fired on the zombies.

  “I said get down!” Carlos ran up to Xiu and yanked her away from the shambling corpses. Then his unit hacked at zombies with axes and machetes, cutting off limbs and heads.

  Forgetting about the original zombie that was coming at them, Zippo was grabbed from behind. He thrashed around to free himself form the zombies’ grasp, causing the wasp nest to break off the corpse’s head and land on his shoulder. Behind the newly exposed flesh, Zippo saw the wasp nest was not just on the outside of the zombie, the wasps had burrowed into its hollowed-out skull and chest. Dozens of wasps flew out of the zombie’s hive-like cavities, stinging Zippo in the face and neck.

  When Xiu turned around, she was horrified at what was happening to her Left Arm. Little Zippo, barely fourteen years old, was covered in angry wasps, unable to defend himself from the zombie that had a hold of him. She was in too much shock to save Zippo. She was in too much shock to command Vine to save him.

  Carlos went in with a machete and chopped the zombie away from Zippo, allowing several wasps to sting him as he pulled the boy to safety. As other zombies poured into the vicinity, the six of them rushed out of the jungle. Xiu cried as Carlos carried Zippo in his arms. The boy wasn’t able to walk on his own anymore. When Zippo weakly turned his head to Xiu, he saw that she was crying. This made him cry, too.

  Back on the ship, Zippo was treated in the sick bay. He was very upset—not because he was in a tremendous amount of pain, but because Xiu was in trouble.

  “You almost got him killed back there,” Carlos yelled.

  Xiu shrank before him.

  “You are a Head,” said Carlos. “You have a responsibility to keep your Arms safe. They are not your play things to take advantage of. They depend on you to make the right decisions.”

  “I’m sorry,” she said, tears flowing down her cheeks.

  “I don’t want you to apologize,” Carlos said. “I want you to grow up and take your duty seriously.”

  “I will.”

  “I’ll believe it when I see it.”

  “I promise.”

  From that moment on, Xiu stopped messing around. She stopped thinking only of herself and started focusing on what was best for her unit. After five years of training hard, Xiu’s unit went from being the absolute worst unit in the tribe to one of the strongest. She didn’t do it for Carlos. She didn’t do it for herself. She did it so that nothing bad would ever happen to Zippo ever again.

  When they get to the roof, Xiu is surprised to see how many zombies are up there waiting for them. The building rumbles beneath their feet as they scurry across the rooftop.

  “This place is collapsing,” Xiu yells. “We need to get off of here now.”

  Zombies spill in from the stairwell behind them. By the time they get to the middle of the roof, they are surrounded. Zippo and Vine go back-to-back, protecting Xiu in the middle. They fire into the crowd with all they’ve got.

  A zombie covered in barbed wire comes at Zippo, but as Zippo fires his shotgun it only clicks.

  “It’s jammed,” Zippo yells.

  Xiu throws her last axe at the zombie, cutting through its chest. But the axe gets tangled in the barbed wire, so it doesn’t return to her. When the corpse gets to Zippo, he uses the shotgun as a bat and hits the zombie so hard that the barrel of the gun bends a couple of inches, rendering it useless.

  When Xiu turns to Vine for help, the roaring AK-47 clicks into silence.

  “I’m out!” Vine says, tossing the gun away.

  The ground beneath them splinters apart, cracking open under the weight of the mob as it closes in on them. Out of ammo and axes, they stand back-to-back, waiting for Xiu’s command. A camera ball floats above them, beeping with anticipation. Miles away, the camera operator sits on the edge of his seat, refusing to blink, determined to capture their deaths on film.

  Xiu looks over at Vine.

  “It’s time,” she says.

  Vine nods.

  Then Zippo and Xiu duck to the ground, as Vine reveals his hidden weaponry. Out of his wrists, two metal hooks appear as he clenches his fists. Then he spins in a circle and in one blink, twenty of the zombies surrounding them are cut in half at the waist. The zombies’ upper halves fall to the ground as their legs stumble forward.

  Miles away, the operator of the camera ball jumps out of his seat, completely mystified by how Contestant #19 just took out so many zombies within a split second.

  “What happened?” asks Wayne “The Wiz” Rizla, peeking over his shoulder.

  “I have no fucking clue,” says the camera ball operator. “He just spun around and then all of a sudden the zombies were cut in half.”

  “Rewind it,” Wayne says. “Play it in slow motion.”

  The camera operator rewinds the video. In slow motion, they see the hooks that appeared out of Vine’s wrists. When Vine spun around in a circle, the hooks flew almost thirty feet out of his wrists. Connected to each hook is a hair-thin strand of razor-sharp steel wire. The wire cut through twenty of the zombies as Vine spun in a circle. Then, like a yoyo, the wires pulled the hooks back into the merc punk’s wrist.

  “Holy fuck…” the camera operator says, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose.

  Wayne smiles. “I’m glad these merc punks volunteered for the show. They have proved themselves to be most interesting contestants.”

  At the age of 20, merc punks are fitted with mechanical implants. Much of the flesh on their arms are removed to install metal weaponry. These weapons become a part of their body, so that they can always defend themselves, even after they run out of bullets.

  “What did you get?” Xiu asked Vine as he came out of the sick bay.

  “The
wires,” he said, showing her the hooks dangling from his bandaged arms. “You?”

  Xiu raised her arms at Vine and two foot-long blades burst out of her fists. “Swords.” Then she padded her new metal knee-caps. “And jumpers.”

  They smiled at each other, excitedly. They had been waiting for their implants for a long time. The implants are what define a merc punk. They are sacred. The type of weapon a merc punk gets is a reflection of their soul. Because these weapons are so revered and personal, they are only to be used when absolutely necessary.

  Zippo stood silently behind them. When Xiu and vine looked over at him, he blushed.

  “Zippo?” Xiu asked. “What about you?”

  Zippo lowered his eyes. “I don’t like it.”

  “Tell me.”

  He sighed. Then he raised his arms, which were now mostly metal. When he clenched his fists and turned them sideways, gigantic razor-sharp sheers emerged from his arms.

  “Scissors?” Xiu asked, giggling. “You got the scissors?”

  Zippo nodded.

  “That is the worst one you could have gotten,” she said. “Did they even give you extra leg implants, like my jumpers?”

  Zippo sighed again. He raised one leg to them. Another pair of sheers emerged from his ankle.

  “More scissors!” Xiu laughed.

  Because Xiu thought it was funny, Vine and Zippo thought the scissors were funny, too. But deep down, Zippo felt bad. It was as if they were laughing at his soul.

  “Don’t tease him,” Carlos said, as he came out of the operating room.

  The trio quieted down.

  Carlos put his hand on Zippo’s shoulder. “The shears are a good weapon. If you train hard, they will serve you well.”

  Then a pair of shears sprang out of Carlos’ arm. He scratched his chin with it and smiled, then moved on.

  After the wires are back in Vine’s wrists, Xiu and Zippo stand up. Zombies trample over the halved corpses toward them.

  “Zippo,” Xiu says to her Left Arm. “Now.”

  The scissors spring out of Zippo’s wrists and cut at the undead, snipping like crab claws. The razor-sharp scissor blades cut arms and sever legs. Then a pair of shears pop out of Zippo’s ankle, as he jump-kicks a zombie. The sheers cut through its neck, decapitating it.

  Xiu turns to her opponents and crosses her arms. The blades spring out of her fists. With the speed of a samurai, she slashes down the zombies as they run at her.

  Zippo stumbles back as the ground quakes below him.

  “This place is coming down,” Xiu says. “Let’s get out of here.”

  Zippo nods, and wraps his arms around Xiu’s waist. With her Left Arm on her back, Xiu bends her knees, then clicks the lever on her metal kneecaps. Her mechanical knees snap up, launching them high into the air. Like a human cricket, she leaps over the street, to the roof of the building next door. When she lands, the suspension in her kneecaps cushion the fall.

  Vine’s wires slice the heads off the zombies left and right. He cuts down the last one as the floor caves in beneath his feet. He falls through the roof and looks down to see six stories of open space. A horde of zombies staring up at him from below.

  Without needing to look up, Vine shoots one of his wires up over the rooftop to the building next door. The hooked end catches a ledge, and Vine reverses directions. He launches up into the air as the wire reels itself back into Vine’s wrist, pulling him with it. As he emerges from the building, the structure collapses to the street in an avalanche. When he’s completely reeled in, he drops onto the next building’s roof beside Zippo and Xiu.

  Xiu stares at him.

  “Ready?” she asks.

  Vine nods.

  “Then let’s move.”

  As they turn around, the three merc punks come face-to-face with something they have never encountered before: a pack of mechjaws. There are five of them, on the rooftop, as if they were waiting for them the whole time.

  When the dogs growl at them, Xiu freezes. She notices the armaments on the zombie dogs’ backs. She sees the look of hunger in their eyes, but she isn’t quite sure what to do. They weren’t trained to fight mechjaws.

  Xiu decides to play it safe.

  “Run,” she says.

  Then she grabs Zippo and leaps into the air, over the dogs, to the roof of another warehouse. Vine shoots a wire at the same building and launches into the air behind them.

  The mechjaws open fire. A storm of bullets comes at the merc punks before they make it to the next building, whizzing past Vine’s face. As he is pulled through the air, Vine uses his free hand to shoot the other wire at the undead mutts. The hook slices through their storm of bullets and catches one of the mechjaws by the throat.

  The dog snarls and thrashes as the hook digs deep into its neck. Once Vine makes it to the next warehouse, the wire from his wrist reels itself in, pulling the mechjaw off of its feet. The mechjaw flies through the air toward them, as Vine’s wire reels it in like a fishing line.

  Bullets erupt from the dog’s minigun as it soars, but while in midair it cannot take proper aim. When the mutt reaches them, Xiu’s sword cuts its head off. The dog’s body falls to the ground, the head rolling across the roof. Xiu’s unit watches the dog’s twitching legs, as if it’s trying to run while lying on its side.

  “What is it?” Zippo asks.

  “A hellhound,” Xiu says.

  Her two Arms nod in agreement.

  The mechjaws on the rooftop across the street stand at ledge, their rocket launchers opening up. The merc punks don’t see the rockets flying through the air toward them as they stare at twitching dog by their feet. All four rockets hit their target, and the warehouse explodes into a cloud of flames.

  of all of the remaining contestants spread throughout the Red Zone.

  Rainbow Cat sees the explosion from an office window, as she sharpens her new machete against the sole of her leather shoe. Ever since she killed Bosco, her face has grown colder. She is determined to win this game, no matter what she has to do. She will kill even Junko if she has to. Nothing and no one is more important to her than getting back to Neo New York so that she can get her dead husband’s masterpiece published.

  Haroon looks up at the explosion from a homemade raft. He drifts down a canal, hoping that it leads to a river, hoping that his raft doesn’t fall apart along the way. He built it by tying together a collection of boards and driftwood. As he floats, he prays that he finds her. He shines his flashlight on the bank of the canal, hoping to see her standing there, waiting for him. That’s the kind of thing he would expect from her. She always knew what he was thinking, what he was planning, what he was going to do next. If he doesn’t survive this thing, he prays that he will at least get to see her face once again.

  Popcorn looks up at the cloud of flames rising in the distance. She walks down the street, in the middle of a crowd of rancid shambling zombies, dragging Gogo with her. Gogo holds her stomach in agony, groaning, and puking black saliva into the street.

  Gogo glares up at the explosion with wild, hungry eyes. She cries, “Brains! Get me some fucking brains!”

  Wendy sees the explosion from the balcony of a luxurious downtown hotel, petting the curls in her hair. In her lap, a lawn gnome stares up at her with its red hat and smiling chubby face. She grips it tightly, as if it is the most important thing in the world to her.

  Laurence sees the flames rise in the sky over the shoulder of a zombie, while punching its head off of its body. As he charges across the street to another walking corpse, he wonders if anyone got hurt in that explosion. He hopes that whoever is over there got out okay. That is, unless that person happens to be a real scumbag. Then he’s glad they got their ass blown up.

  Heinz glances over at the explosion through the window of a barricaded studio apartment, then goes back to tidying his things before bed. He hums orchestral music that plays in his head, standing in his boxer shorts, his black swastika tattoo reflecting in a broken mirror. He fold
s his uniform into a neat stack and organizes his weapons in order of size. He pats the snarling severed heads of two mechjaws propped up on his nightstand. Then he crawls into a dust-caked bed, lying back and sighing with relief.

  Nemesis pays little attention to the fire in the distance. She stands in the middle of a high school football field, naked. With her arms spread to her sides, she breathes the air in deeply, her eyes closed, letting the soft breeze press against her bare pale-as-paper skin.

  Oro hears the explosion from over his shoulder, but he is too busy trying to make his shot. Within an indoor miniature golf course, he hits a golf ball with his putter. The golf ball goes across the artificial turf, up a ramp, through the windmill, down a hole, comes out the back, and then enters the mouth of a decapitated zombie head. Hole in one, Oro says to himself. He smiles on one side of his mouth, then lights up a fresh cigar.

  “Shit,” Junko says as she sees the explosion in the distance.

  “What?” Scavy says.

  They are looking out of a window of the white-bricked castle-shaped building downtown, looking at the fire rising in the sky.

  “It’s those merc punks,” Junko says. “It has to be.”

  “So?”

  “If they are all the way over there then that means they are ahead of us by far more than I anticipated. They’ll probably get to the evacuation zone sometime tomorrow.” She looks Scavy deep in his eyes. “That means we don’t have three days to get to the helicopter anymore. We have to get there by midday tomorrow.”

  “How are we going to do that?”

  “I have no idea. Moving around is going to be twice as difficult tomorrow as it was today. It’s probably impossible.”

  Scavy looks down at the sniper rifle in his hands, trying to come up with a plan.