Jason sprung to his feet and rushed out of the room at a dead run.
Chapter 9
Bursting into the kitchen, Jason came to a sudden standstill. Looking around, he walked towards a wall, his steps deliberate as though it were taking a great deal of concentration to reach his destination. Stopping before it, he raised his hand. Then he punched it, hard, again and again.
His brothers, who had been patiently waiting, jumped to their feet at the pain he was inflicting on himself. It had to stop. They had come to know Jason and knew they were in for a fight, but they wouldn't stand by and let him hurt himself in that way.
Just as his hand was about to make contact with the wall yet another time, Jake grabbed hold of it to stop him. Jason had been punching the wall with his left hand and so he swung at Jake with his right. Jake saw the blow coming, and he was fast, but not fast enough to completely avoid Jason's fist. The blow, although glancing, was enough to rock him back, but he held on to Jason's arm.
A fraction of a second later, Josh tackled Jason from behind. He fought them with everything he was worth, and just as suddenly as he started, he stopped. Aviva was standing in the doorway with tears running down her face and a hand clasped over her mouth to hold in her sobs.
Jason's eyes were rooted to her. It was his fault. He was the cause of her tears. Everything was always his fault. Then it hit him, as clear as crystal. He may want her more than anything he had ever wanted in his whole miserable life, but he couldn't have her. She wasn't meant for him. If only he had understood this one simple fact earlier, her suffering could have been avoided.
Aviva could see something in his eyes. They had turned into black, fathomless pools of acceptance. She knew before he spoke that his words would be ones of rejection of her, and their relationship.
“No!”
“It's for the best, Angel.”
“Jason, please listen to me. We can work this out.”
“You don't understand. If you stay around me, something else will happen to you. It's what always happens to the people I love, and you mean the world to me. I can't let that happen to you. It would destroy me!”
“No, Jason!”
“You may not understand it now, but you will soon enough. I couldn't live with myself if anything else happened to you. Please, you just need to stay away from me...please, stay away from me… It's for the best.”
Jason was unaware of how his words belied his very meaning. The others in the room had perfect clarity of what was taking place. By pushing her away, Jason thought he was being selfless, protecting her from her fate. What he failed to grasp was that he was her fate. He could push her away as much as he felt necessary but she would always try to hold on to him. Aviva started walking towards him, her hands outstretched, convinced she could make him understand that no matter what they had both been through, they belonged together.
Her approach was the final straw. Jason snapped, flinging off the loosened grips of his brothers’ hands with one mighty burst of strength. Sweeping his hand across the counter, he sent everything crashing to the floor.
Aviva was startled by the unexpectedness and violence of his sudden movement and was unable to withhold her cry of surprise.
“Get her out, Josh. Get her out...now!”
Josh picked her up, causing her to scream out in pain. He was mortified at how he had managed to hurt her so badly. He had been gentle. Like his brothers, he was a big man and around women he was very aware that he had the capacity to inadvertently cause them harm. How had he hurt her so badly?
“Put her down!” Jason wanted to go to her but how could he? He had just spouted all the reasons why he should keep away, yet at her cry of pain, every instinct in him wanted to go to her.
Aware of her real pain yet not understanding it, Josh lowered her to the floor. She immediately tried to step around him to go to Jason, but he blocked her path. It was not the time. Whatever had taken place upstairs, Jason needed time to regain control of his emotions.
Josh bent down and whispered into her ear. Whatever his spoken words, they worked. With one last tearful look in Jason's direction, Aviva turned and walked out of the room with Josh following. The sounds of her sobs constricted Jason's heart. But he held firm to his declaration of their need for separation.
~~~~~~~~~~
As Aviva's sobs faded, Jason released the breath he had been holding. It wasn't so much the relief of no longer being able to hear her distress, it was rather a respite in his blinding rage. He knew with an absolute certainty that if he lived to be a hundred years old, he would never forget the words she had spoken when describing what she had been through. What she had suffered because of him. Jason still clutched on to the countertop as though he would go crashing to the floor without its support.
With his eyes fixed firmly on his brother, Jake watched Jason as tear after tear splashed against the granite surface onto which he held so desperately. Jason made no sound in his grief. His silent sorrow the evidence to his pain. Jake's heart constricted as he wondered how much hurt this one man was supposed to bare.
He wanted to enfold Jason in his arms, to show him that he was willing to share his burden if he would let him, but he knew such a move would be rebuffed. Jason still wasn't ready to fully embrace what it meant to be family. What he could do, however, was listen. That much he would do.
“Tell me what happened, Jason.”
Jake's words were met with continued silence and an abrupt cessation of Jason's tears. It was as though he had just remembered that he wasn’t alone. Slowly, Jason's back began to straighten. Jake imagined he could see each vertebra reposition itself until Jason once again stood at his imposing six feet five.
“What happened to her, Jason?”
Turning deliberately, Jason looked in Jake's direction, his eyes fixed and unblinking as though he were trying to recall who he was. Then he moved, his actions jerky, uncoordinated. After a few steps, Jake thought his brother would keel over and rushed to his aid. Placing one strong arm around him, Jake took Jason’s weight to support him.
Jason didn't stop moving, he was now looking at the wall he had punched a hole through and seemed to be moving in that direction. Jake was at once filled with trepidation, knowing that should Jason decide to hurt himself in the way he had when he had first entered the kitchen, he wouldn’t be able to prevent him on his own.
When Jason made contact with the wall, it was with braced open palms. Jake loosened his grip and Jason turned, supporting his back against the surface. He slid down until his ass hit the ground, his legs finally giving out. Then he was still, unmoving, his legs extended straight out before him, the back of his hands resting on the kitchen floor, palms open and lax.
Moving with caution, Jake curled his large body and sat beside his twin and waited.
“They hurt her, Jake. They hurt her really, really badly. Then they humiliated her, then they degraded her and then they hurt her some more,” Jason whispered, as though speaking to himself. “For that, I intend to find them, and then I'm going to hurt them. When I'm done with them, grown men are going to cry for their mothers. Then I'm gonna kill each and every one of them, slowly, with as much pain as I can conceive.”
“Jason...what did they do to her?”
Cutting his eyes towards his brother, Jason's silence lasted for a full minute as he held Jake's gaze, his iris’s turning obsidian with the deep emotion he was feeling...hatred and rage, an uncontrollable rage.
When Jason began to speak, it was without emotion, and he left nothing out.
~~~~~~~~~~
Josh walked behind Aviva as she climbed the stairs back to the bedroom she and Jason were sharing. He prayed she would be able to retrace her steps unaided, dread gripping him at the thought of the pain she would experience should he have to carry her. Their progress was slow. He could tell that it was filled with pain for her, evident in the way her body seemed to be progressively curling into itself. He wanted to help her but he didn't know how.
What had they done to this little gregarious woman who, from the moment he met her, had captured his heart. He wished...it didn't matter what he wished because he had to deal with the reality, and the reality was, she belonged to his brother. Never, in deed or through vocalization, would he dishonor either of them. Yet in his silent moments, alone with only his thoughts, he wished.
Arriving at the bedroom, Josh reached around a deflated Aviva and opened the door. Her movements had now turned into more of a shuffle, reminiscent of a person three times her age. His rage which had been on a slow burn began to rise and he knew he couldn't let it vent...now, but he would, very soon.
Aviva headed directly for the bed. She needed to lay down before her legs gave out. She was tired, so very tired, and emotionally spent. But her thoughts refused to settle, jumping around without cessation, first reliving her ordeal, then thankfulness that she was safe and finally Jason’s rejection.
Oh Lord, she thought, when did I turn into such a drama queen! Jason King could protest and balk as much as he wanted but he belonged to her, and once she felt better, she was going to make sure he understood exactly that. What she wanted, she fought for. She had mentally fought those sadistic bastards who put her through her own personal hell, and here she was. How could she do anything less than fight for her future with the man she loved? But even that positive thought was tempered with nagging feelings of uncertainty, that one day he would walk away from her, as he was attempting to do now.
With difficulty, Aviva pulled herself onto the large bed. All she really wanted was for the pain to stop and for Jason to come strolling in through the door. For him to lay down beside her, enfold her in his strong arms with the reassurance that everything would be alright. That he would never leave her. Then she wanted to go home. England was no longer her home. It had ceased to be so since the death of her mother.
There she was, feeling very much alone, having made the phone call her every instinct had warned her against, only to find the Kingdom clan, to her surprise were already in England, searching for her.
Aviva knew Josh was at a loss of how to help her. Jake supported them all in his watchful, stoic silence, and Jason, his love for her emanated from his very being. Attempting to show his gallantry and his love by thinking he needed to set her free. In their own way, each of the Kingdom brothers were men any woman would be blessed to have. She knew Jason loved her, just as she knew she was also a hair’s breadth away from losing him forever.
As Aviva's thought looped around and around, and finally rested on the thought of what her life would be like without Jason in it. She had read somewhere that if you’re lucky and the fates were kind, you would find the one person put on the earth that would complete you. She had found hers and she wasn't letting him slip through her fingers. When she had looked into his face after his outburst, she had seen a resolve that she somehow had to break. But she didn't know how.
Her mind, refusing to remain still, jumped back to the dark room. The room of nightmares. That was her unspoken name for her holding pen. The room where nightmares become reality. She had seen his reaction to the little she had told him of what she went through. She had only been testing the waters. From his reaction, never would she be able to retell the full extent of her ordeal. It would break him. For Jason’s sanity, she would withhold the whole truth, even though, within the deepest recesses of her mind, she would forever relive the horror of what had taken place. She knew Jason would take the blame of the actions of unscrupulous men upon himself and make it his own failing for not protecting her. For that reason alone, she would carry the full extent of her ordeal and her time away from him to her grave.
Yet how does one live with such humiliation, such shame? How does one recapture the innocence because it was the most euphoric form of innocence that came before unspeakable humiliation? Somehow, her baby had done it and she too would find the strength to break through the web of despair that moment by moment attempted to ensnare her. She just thanked God that their perversion excluded women and she had not been raped by their physical beings. So lost in thought, Aviva was unaware that silent tears flooded her eyes, accompanied by sobs of despair.
Chapter 10
Josh was at a loss of how to help her. As he watched her, he was certain she was unaware of how the sounds she made affirmed her ordeal. He didn't yet know the extent of what she’d gone through, but he would in time, and he intended to exact retribution. No one would ever again be allowed to inflect pain on his loved ones. This he had sworn long ago.
From his earliest memories, Jake had been his protector. Whenever he had needed his brother, before he had even voiced the need, he had been there. What Jake hadn’t realized was that Josh was also his protector. He would do whatever was necessary to keep his father and brother safe – anything. Along the way, he had acquired another brother and a sister, and the perimeter of his protection had simply widened. There was a debt to pay, and he would see that it was paid in full.
At the same time as his musings, Josh was also at the end of his tether. He could no longer bear the sounds of Aviva's anguish. He couldn't comfort her with his touch, he didn't dare touch her after her reaction in the kitchen, nor did his whispered words of comfort appear to reach her. He was at a loss as to what to do. Crying women, in general, always made him uncomfortable. Aviva’s tears, however, scared him as nobody else could. If she were his, he would have laid down beside her and found a way to take her into his arms to still her flow of tears. But she wasn't his and never would be, but the crying had to stop!
Minutes prior, in the kitchen, she had been ready fight for her relationship with Jason despite her obvious cloud of pain. Yet, now her body was wracked by tears that sounded to him like despair, and it had to stop!
As Josh reached the door, he looked over his shoulder one last time before he left the room. With laden steps, he made his way back to the kitchen. Whether he wanted to accept it or not, Jason had unfinished business that he needed to take care of, and Josh intended to make sure he attended to it. Entering the kitchen, he saw his brothers sitting on the floor, their backs pressed against a wall.
Both the seated men looked up as he entered the room, their clouded expressions denoting the seriousness of the conversation that had taken place in his absence. Cutting his eyes to Jake, Josh saw the brief blink of his eyes that told him Jason had shared Aviva’s story. He would also know the story in time, but at that moment, he needed to find a way to get Jason upstairs.
“She’s in a bad way, Jason. I think you need to go upstairs and see to her.”
“I know she’s in a bad way. That’s why I sent you with her.” Jason’s voice held no emotion as he replied to Josh.
“Jesus, you are such a dumbass.”
“What?” Jason asked in amazement.
“What’s the matter, Jason, you suddenly gone deaf? I said you're a dumbass. Did you hear me this time?!”
Still in his prone position, Jason looked over at his twin and spoke to him rather than answering Josh. “Get him off my back. I’m not in the mood for his antics.”
“Leave Jake out of this. This is between you and me!”
“That's where you're wrong, son. This is between Aviva and me, so back off!”
“Well, I just made myself a part of it, whether you like it or not!”
“Are you looking to get your ass handed to you?”
“You want some, Jason? Come get some,” Josh said, beckoning Jason with both hands.
Jason held his younger brother’s gaze as he rose to his feet, his eyes still devoid of emotion. “You need to back off, Joshua,” Jason spoke with a deadly calm and Josh's body grew taut as it readied itself for Jason's next move.
“That's right, Jason, keep coming and after I kick the shit out of you, I'm gonna turn right around and go upstairs and take care of that little woman in every way you can imagine.”
Josh was quick. He saw Jason's hammer fist rushing towards his chin, but for the life of h
im, he couldn't out maneuver it. Shit this is going to hurt, Josh thought just as he felt the full impact of Jason's fist connecting with his face, the force of the punch rocking him back on his feet.
“Now I'm going to take care of my woman, just like I intended to do before you came in here running your mouth.”
“What was all that crap about I love her so much I have to set her free?” Josh asked, incredulous at what he was hearing.
“Yeah, well, that was then, this is now...it's definitely catching,” Jason said with a shake of his head as he shouldered his way past a shocked Josh who was still holding his jaw.
Josh realized he had missed much more than he had originally thought while he was upstairs with Aviva. Unable to help himself, he rose to the bait of Jason's cryptic remark. “What's catching?”
“The shit you all spout,” Jason said without a backwards glance as he left the kitchen to his brothers; one still in shock and the other laughing at his parting remark.
~~~~~~~~~~
Jason heard the sounds of her crying even before he got to the door of the bedroom. As he turned the handle to the door, all became quiet. Moving into the room, the door closed behind him. He sat on the edge of the bed, looking down at Aviva’s face. No evidence of the tears were visible. She had obviously heard him coming and had wiped them away.
“I've just been told that I'm a dumbass, and as much as it pains me, I have to admit that I agree.” Aviva didn't open her eyes or in any way acknowledge his softly spoken confession. So he just kept talking, filling the quietness with the sound of his deep voice, his way of communicating that he was once again in complete control of his faculties.
“I'm sorry for what I put you through earlier. I'm not even going to try to justify the way I behaved. Just know that I'm sorry, and I'm glad you're back here with me. Did I tell you that before? Maybe not, I can't remember. But I am…glad to have you back I mean.”
For Love and Vengeance Page 8