by Lauren Wood
When I got back to Scott’s house for lunch, I made my way to the room I was using and laid down on the bed for a while. My mind was torn between the bad and the good. I didn’t want to think about either, but it was bound to happen. How could it not?
I got a call later from Heather as I was driving back up to campus. She wanted to know where I’d been. When I told her that I’d quit, I could tell that she was shocked. I had been shocked as well when it first happened. I was still waiting to wake up and all of this to be a dream. It certainly felt like it, if I really thought about it. How could this be real?
We promised to get in touch later that night. I was going to cancel with Scott. Another dinner wasn’t going to end well, so I planned to go out with her instead. The decision helped me to focus when the class started, and I was grateful for that. At the end of the day, all I was really worried about was keeping my distance, so I didn’t get pulled in again.
The class went well because I had a free mind and I called Scott, hoping that I would get his voicemail. He never answered his phone from my experience, but of course, he answered this time, and I had to come up with something on the spot. I wasn’t a very good liar.
“I have a study group that I need to go to tonight. I have all of those finals coming up and I want to make sure that I do well.”
I could hear a disappointed sound on the other side of the phone and the guilt hit me again. I knew that I wasn’t telling the truth, but the real reason was worse. I couldn’t tell him that I was running away from him. He wouldn’t want to hear that.
“Are you sure that you have to? I can help you study if you want. I do work in business, have for years.”
He was being sweet, or he was trying to get me alone again. I was more worried about the latter.
“No, that’s okay. I will be in later Scott.”
“I will wait up.”
I sighed to myself and knew that this lying thing was really backfiring on me. I shouldn’t have said that. Now I was going to have him to come home to. It wasn’t something that should have bothered me, but it did. He bothered me. It was just that plain and simple.
“Okay, great. I guess I will see you tonight then.”
I wasn’t going to get away from him like I’d hoped that I would. I knew that there was going to be something to be said later, but for now at least, I was off the hook.
I hung up the phone and swung back by my house. I had to get something to wear tonight. I don’t know where we were going, but it had to be better than waiting around, lusting after my own husband, falling for a man that wouldn’t even want to talk to me, if he found out certain things.
Heather came by not long after I finished getting ready and we left in her ride. I wanted to ask her where we were going, but it really didn’t matter.
I didn’t think it did anyways. When we pulled up at a frat house, I didn't have to ask why we were there.
“I told you that I wasn't working anymore Heather and I meant it.”
“Come on Anna. It is just for old time’s sake. I needed a second girl for the night, and everybody is busy. You didn't give any notice when you left and I really need you.”
Heather was my friend, but she was like many of the girls I worked with. She was worried about money, more than anything else. I knew that she was going to be upset if I didn't go in there with her, but I couldn't imagine doing it. It had only been a couple of days since I’d quit, but it was like all of that had been put behind me. I didn't want to go back now.
“If my husband found out about it, he would freak out. There's no way that I can go in there.”
She pouted for a minute and then I could see this calm running across their face. Apparently, she had thought of something else.
“Well why don't you just come in and chill with me for little bit? You don't have to do any dances or anything, just take your hair down and look sexy.”
I sighed to myself, because I knew what was going to happen next. I really had trouble telling people no. I wasn't able to tell Scott no and apparently, I was unable to tell Heather no either.
“I will go in for a few drinks, but that's it Heather. I really can't stay out all night.”
She brightened as soon as I agreed, and I sort of wish that I hadn’t. It was like Heather was too happy with my agreement and I felt like something was amiss. I knew better, but for some reason I was going to go along with it. Even though I knew it was going to turn out badly.
The party was in full swing when we got in there and there must've been at least twenty guys. There were only a few women sprinkled around and all the attention was on us. It became clear very quickly, that we were in over our heads. I wanted to turn around and walk away right then and there, but I knew that I shouldn’t leave Heather. All I had to do was figure out a way to get us out of there and we’d be good.
How had I ever done this for a living?
Scott
I waited up for her. I don't know why, but I thought that she would be home at least a little early. Ten at the latest, but it was already midnight and I was checking the clock over and over again. It was moving incredibly slow, then fast at the same time. Every time I looked at it and it had only been a minute, but I looked at it so many times that it was now almost the next day. Where was my wife?
I heard that the door knob turn, and I felt a mix of emotions. I was angry that I had stayed up so late for her, when obviously she wasn't worried about coming back to me. And then at the same time I was relieved. I don't know what I thought had happened or could have happened, but I knew that I felt better knowing she was back under our roof. In our house.
She jerked a little bit when she saw me, and I could tell that she was not expecting me to be sitting on the couch when she came through. I wouldn't have imagined it either, if I was truthful.
“Glad to see you could finally make it home wife.”
I hadn’t meant for my tone to be as harsh as it was and I certainly hadn’t thought that I would have said that, but it slipped out from between my lips before I could stop it. It’s what wanted to be said. I just knew that I wanted to know where she was. It was just that simple.
“Gosh, you scared the crap out of me Scott. What are you doing there, sitting in the dark?”
“I thought it was pretty obvious. I’m waiting for you to come home. Where have you been?”
Her face fell a little bit and I turned the lamp on next to me. I don’t know why I was being so jealous, I couldn’t help it, really, I couldn’t. I wanted to know where the hell she was, and it didn’t look like she was going to answer me. Anna didn’t like the tone of my voice and realistically, I couldn’t blame her. I really don't know what was going on with me at the moment.
“What has gotten into you?”
It was a question that I wouldn't have minded an answer for. I don't know what was going on with me lately. In the last week, everything that I knew about myself and about the trajectory of my life was wrong. Now I was trying to pick up the pieces, but at the same time, trying to fight the feelings that I felt for her. Why did I feel more for her, than I had anyone else? We have not known each other long enough for this to be an issue.
“I just want to know where my wife has been all night. You look like you have been out having fun, not studying.”
“We had a couple of drinks after we were done, but that's it. I didn't think that you would actually still be up. You have to get up early in the morning.”
Her words just made me a little angrier, because I’d wanted to see her. That was the whole reason I’d taken off of work early and been going in late. It was the worst possible time for me to be taking extra time, but I was doing it for her. I wanted us to get closer and that wasn't going to happen if she was always rushing off.
“I know what time I have to get up. You didn't answer me. Where were you?”
“What does it matter?”
“I went out a couple of drinks with a friend. I don't see what the big deal is. You’re
always gone and I never question you.”
She had a point, but I had a feeling that it was because I cared a little more than she did about her whereabouts. And I wasn't one of those trusting souls, even though she had every reason not to be. I certainly was not one of those people.
“I just want to know. I want to know exactly where you were.”
“This is crazy Scott. I know I've had a few drinks, but this is a bit much. I will see you in the morning. I don't want to have this conversation, because I have to get up early too.”
For a second, I was in shock. I couldn't believe what she was saying. She was dismissing me. I was somebody that dismissed people. I was certainly not someone that had any experience with people telling me to piss off. I can't say that it was the best feeling either.
“So, you’re not even going to answer me?”
I really was in denial at this point. I didn’t want to hear about how she was not going to tell me. She had to tell me. I couldn't go to sleep tonight wondering where she had been.
When I got closer, I realized that she was drunk, and I hated the idea that she had been out inebriated like that.
“So who was your friend?”
“What?”
“You said you went out and had a couple of drinks with a friend, so who was your friend?”
“Heather.”
She said the words out and I knew she was mad. It still didn’t stop me from continuing my interrogation. “And no one else?”
“There was people there, but I just went with Heather. What are you getting at?”
Does she think I didn’t have a right to know where my wife had been all night?
How did she not understand what was going on and what the problem was? Anna was a smart woman. She obviously knew what I was upset about and she could have easily put me out of my misery, but she chose not to.
“Maybe you would have the right to know, if I was really your wife. We both know that I'm not though. I have only agreed to this, so that you could get your company from your father. That's it. Remember?”
“And you're trying to act like last night didn’t happen.”
I shouldn't have let it bother me so much, but it really did. How could she pretend like nothing was going on between us? It just made me angry. Possibly because there was no way I could forget her, so how dare her forget about me. How dare her deny what was so clearly between us.
I ignored her verbal protest and pressed my lips against hers. I could taste the vodka and resistance. I was about to give up, sure that she really didn't want it, but then she started to kiss me back again. There is just something in the way she finally submitted that had my blood boiling.
She was fully molded against me when I finally pulled back.
“Why do you have to make everything so complicated? I know that we didn't get married because we are deeply in love, but that doesn't mean that there isn't something between us now. I know damn well you feel it. I want to have that again.”
“And that is why you started yelling at me as soon as I came through the door?”
“You are mine Anna and I'm not going to give you away for anything.”
I kissed her again, just so that she knew I wasn't joking. However we became a couple, I was never going to let her go now.
Anna
He moved in to kiss me again and for once I didn't even bother trying to fight it. It was useless when I really thought about it. This is what was supposed to happen and after the night I had, I really didn't want to fight it anymore. I just wanted to feel good for a while and with his words, there was no way that I could say no. Truth be told, I didn't want to say no.
The next thing I knew, he was pushing me back against the wall and his tongue was pushing deeper into the recesses of my mouth. He was a very good kisser, something I’d learned the other night and my body was ready for the same sort of ending as it had in the tub.
It was hard to not cling to him, like he was the last bit of oxygen in the world. He surprised me by picking me up and starting towards the stairs. I knew where he was taking me, and I didn’t object at all. I wanted to go all the way this time. It was what I had been avoiding, but after a mindless night out, I was more than a little happy to feel Scott. He was familiar and I still wanted him badly.
“Are you sure you don’t want to think this through Scott?”
He growled at me and I couldn’t help but laugh. He was making it like I was teasing him, but I wasn’t. Maybe I had been in the past a little bit, but it was from fear of the unknown, far more than anything else.
“I don’t have to think anything through. I’ve been waiting to consummate this marriage from the moment I knew we were married.”
“Is that so?”
Scott agreed and his eyes pinned me where I stood. “Have you not thought about it?”
“You know that I have.”
“Good, because I have run through the scenarios many times. All of them end with you screaming like you were last night. That was the hottest thing I think I’ve ever heard Anna.”
He was talking as he took his shirt off. I wanted to push my fingers through his chest hair and feel the ridges that I’d felt against my back the night before. It was impossible to not tremble as I watched him slide his pants off of his thick thighs. My mouth was getting dry.
“Take your clothes off Anna or I am not going to be liable for any of them that I rip.”
My hands were shaking as I started to pull my shirt over my head. I felt so vulnerable doing so, his hands stopping on his boxers as he watched me start to undress. I already knew what was lurking behind the fabric, but I wanted to see it again. I needed to see him, all of him.
I slide out of the rest of my clothes, hoping that he would do the same. He was the one that was teasing me now. I knew that he didn’t know it, but after the tension had been so thick, for so long, it was hard for me to really think about it.
“You’re beautiful Anna.”
“Yeah, yeah. Come here and get naked.”
He grinned and I was a little surprised how rushed I felt. There was no question in my mind anymore. I wanted him. It was just that simple. I didn’t care about the consequences and knowing that this could all end, made me want these moments together even more.
I couldn’t help, but move back as he approached. His face was so determined, and his eyes were practically glowing with need. The expression on his face was one that I wasn’t going to forget anytime soon.
The bed stopped me, the large posts on either side of me. I sat back and backed up a little further until I was aligned with the pillows.
“Where are you going?”
“Up here so you won’t have me hanging off of the bed.”
He chuckled, telling me that I knew him too well, but that didn’t help either. Now I felt like I’d put an idea into his mind, and he yanked my ankle back towards him, my body sliding back with him.
“This isn’t what you wanted?”
Scott pulled me up and I was staring right at his hard need. There was nothing in our way this time and my hand came out to touch the soft, silken rod. It jerked underneath my fingertips, rising upwards as if there were magnets at play, anything to get my hands on him.
Then my hands weren’t enough, and I had this urge to taste him that was overpowering. I leaned forward and slid the tip of him inside of the recess of my mouth and heard him groan above me. I wasn’t even halfway down before he was jerking me back, pushing me down to the bed.
“We don’t have time for that this time.”
The lust was intense in his gaze and I wrapped my legs around his waist, closing my eyes as he pushed deep inside of me. It was more than I could take, and I screamed out just like I had last night. He had been right.
“Scott!”
“Yes, baby. That’s what I want to hear. I want you to come so I can feel it now.”
He started to move inside of me, and I wasn’t able to press myself hard enough around him. It was too much f
or me and I wanted more than anything to slow him down. But Scott wasn’t going in that direction. Instead he was moving faster and pushing me towards the ending that he said he wanted to feel.
It was upon me quickly and the first wave of pleasure, was one of many that would repeatedly wash over me. I had no more thoughts and no more ways to handle all of it. All of it was just too much and I couldn’t take it anymore.
“Please Scott. I can’t…”
The words had the desired effect on him, but he didn’t slow down like I would have liked to catch my breath. Instead he pushed deeper than ever before and groaned out my name from the back of his throat. I felt the heat from his release, and I knew that something magical had happened between us, something that I wasn’t even sure that I understood. It had certainly never felt like this before.
He pulled out with a groan and I had a sigh of relief. I’d been so full moments before, that now I could remember that I wasn’t necessarily supposed to feel that way. It was more than I would have imagined. The caring that I felt had morphed into love. Just that quickly. I loved this man more than I should have. My husband.
Scott moved to the pillows and dragged me along with him. I was numb or something of that nature. I felt like I could barely move, and I didn’t fight the tight hug against his chest. He felt warm, safe and the smell of his soap filled my nose.
“That was…”
“You don’t have to say anything baby. I felt it too.”
That was all that I needed to hear, because how I felt was impossible to put into words. I didn’t think that I could, even if I had tried. It was lifechanging. That was the only word that I could come up with.
Scott
Waking up to Anna, was exactly what I needed. I didn’t realize at first, what a privilege it was to be her husband. Now I knew.