by Lauren Wood
I smiled over at her sleepy face that moved when I started to rouse her from her sleep.
“You look perfect in the morning Anna. Sometimes I think you aren’t real because you're just so damn perfect.”
She waved me off and let me kiss her. When I started to roll her underneath me, I got a no instead.
“It's still early Anna. We can finish up in plenty of time to make coffee and get out of the house for your first class. It doesn't start until nine, right?”
“You remember. But I don't think you know the meaning of a little bit of time. You will make me late and you know it.”
“Come on baby. Just for a few minutes.”
She shook her head no and told me the same answer firmly. This time I actually believed it.
I figured out rather quickly that I wasn't going to get what I wanted, so I might as well give up.
She drug the sheet with her, like I hadn't seen every inch of her the night before. I had personally licked every inch of her skin that I could, so she really had no reason to hide from me.
But that didn't seem to matter, and she trailed the silk fabric across the room and down the hall into the bathroom. She purposely went to my bathroom, and I think I knew why. She didn’t want to be tempted into the bed or tub. Little did she know though, I could think of a million ways and places to take her. She wasn’t safe anywhere now.
“Why are you following me?”
“I think that we're just going in the same direction. Why are you so paranoid?”
I hadn't bothered with clothes and I'm glad that I didn’t, because her eyes kept falling below the waist and I knew what she was thinking. I wanted to push that thought to another level. She wanted me again, just as I wanted her. Five times last night wasn't enough, and I wanted to start early. There is no way that I could think of a better way to start my day, then inside of my wife.
That was something I didn't think I'd ever say.
“Well as long as you keep your hands to yourself, I’m sure that we will be fine.”
She gestured towards me and my manhood, like we were dangerous. I knew what she was talking about, because her eyes kept focusing on it for a moment, before she look away. I'm glad that I had forgotten my pants now. It seemed to be about the only thing that control her or at least sidetracked me enough that she thought about me in a different way.
I agreed, but she quickly shut the door behind her when she got to the bathroom. I said outside of it for a moment and then try the knob. She had locked it. I guess she meant business.
Listened to the water run for a while, I decided that I wasn’t going to stand here and wait. I was going to go into her room, and wait there. Anna would go there to get dressed, hopefully dripping wet, naked, in the towel maybe. All of these scenarios brought me closer to having her back in my arms, so they were all worth a try.
I was waiting on the bed when she came in. The towel was small and wrapped around her, just like I knew it would be. She didn’t see me at first and jumped a little bit when she saw me.
“You really have to stop doing that Scott.”
“Then come here. You're the one that's running away.”
“You’re dangerous.”
“Little old me?”
“Yeah, you're more like the wolf in the story Scott. You know, big ears, big mouth…”
I looked down at the hard rock that was staring back at me.
“Big all over huh?”
Her gaze gave her away. I knew exactly what she was thinking, and I knew exactly what I had to do. I had to make her come to me and I moved my hand down and touched myself.
“You don't want this?”
“I do, but we have things to do.”
“It's a pity.”
I was too hard to get any harder, so I started to move faster. If I was honest with myself, this was almost enough. I didn't even need anymore. Just her watching me and allowing me to look at her while I did it. That was all I really needed.
Finally, very close to my own completion, she groans in frustration and threw her towel off. “Damn it Scott. That's not fair.”
The next thing I knew, she was climbing over the top of me and sinking down. The warmth and tightness that I felt could never be matched by anything else and I closed my eyes to the pleasure. This is what I needed all along.
After a few minutes, neither one of us was too worried about the time. We were both going to be late, but I felt like it was worth it. I don't even want to go to work that day. I could have stayed in bed with Anna if she would have let me. But she had finals, so we promised to meet that evening at six. It was different from coming home at ten or eleven o'clock every night, but now I had someone to come home too. I never realized the difference before.
When I finally did get into work, my dad was waiting for me in the office. He never showed up like this and now this was twice in one week. It didn't really make sense, because he was never like this. There had to be a reason, and everything was going too well. I knew back in the back of my mind that this was going to turn out badly. Stuff has been going too well, for too long. It was like the universe gave me Anna and now it was going to take something else to even the score.
“Son, you are late again.”
“Just spending a little time with Anna before she went to class. She has finals today and I wanted to wish her luck.”
“And you have three meetings that are going to makes a difference of millions of dollars in profit. Don't you think that's a little more important than finals?”
Usually I would agree with him and go on, but today I wasn't feeling it. Today I didn't want to argue with him about how important or unimportant the business was. I was trying to get the business from him, but I wasn't in the mood to grovel today.
“I don't know dad. I know that people are to be loved and money is to be spent. The first meeting wasn't for until ten, second for twelve and a third one for three o'clock. I will be to all of them, so it doesn't matter if I came in at half-past.”
“You should come in early, so you can be prepared.”
“I prepared days ago. There's no sense in me doing it now. It is fresh and I am ready for them when they come in. You will get the contracts and we will make millions of dollars in profits today. Just like we are supposed to. Nothing has changed.”
It was a little taken aback because I wasn't usually mean. Usually I was trying a little harder to appease him. But today I didn’t feel any of the normal pull to make him happy. I just didn’t care. I was almost to the point that I didn’t care about the company, so I didn’t want to hear a lecture on what I was doing wrong, running his company.
I’d wanted to be the one in charge for a very long time, but maybe it wasn't for the best anymore. His way of doing things had built the company, but times were changing, and I don't know if I was willing to give up my real life for work. At the end of the day, my father was alone and while he had a big pile of money, he was going on a ninth wife and most likely he would get into the double digits before he died. I didn't want to be him.
“I don't think that your wife is the best influence on you. In less than a week, you act like you don't even care about your job anymore.”
“It's not that I don't care about my job, but it's not the only thing that I care about anymore. I have a wife now and we're going to start a family. I want to be there for my children.”
I left out the part that I wanted to be different than him, because we had never seen him. He was always gone at work from dusk too from dawn to dusk and sometimes even later than that. Most of the times I seen him was when I was getting up in the middle of the night to get something to drink. He would be at the table, drinking some Scotch and going over paperwork from the day. It never ended for him, but I wasn't going to live that way.
“You really think that you want to start a family with her? A stripper?”
I wasn't ready for that comment and I stepped back on my own and. I hadn't even made it to my desk yet and I was
already done talking to him.
“How can you say that? When you met her the other day, you acted like you liked are.”
“Yeah, she's hot and she smiles a lot. She smells nice. I'm sure she would be a nice piece to take to bed, but that's about as far as far as it goes. I really didn't imagine you doing any better. I was hoping that you would marry Lexie and at least add a positive tie for the family, but you couldn't even do that right. Instead you married a whore son.”
“She danced dad. She didn't do the rest of it. And it doesn't really matter what you think about her. I love her.”
“Why because you’ve known her so long?” I had lied about that part, but I wasn't lying about the feelings I had for her now. I did love her. It had snuck up on me from behind like a jackal, but that's what it was.
“I said that, because I wanted you to know that it was real. I didn't want you to know that it was actually my brother that roofied me and her and somehow got us married. I didn't want you to know that, but now I don't really care. He wants this company so damn bad, that he will do anything to get it. I don't want it that much. I don't want to work for the rest of my life, sixteen hours a day, just to make you more money. I have enough. You have enough.”
He didn't say anything for several moments and I couldn't believe that I just said what I said. I was willing to go through hell and high water to get the company and now I was just throwing it away like it was nothing. It made no sense, but all I knew for certain was that none of this matter. What mattered was being with Anna. It was the only real thing that I had going on in my life.
“And you will do all of this, throw everything away for that woman?”
“That woman is my wife.”
“I know your wife quite well son and I assure you that she is not worth it. You’re wasting it all for her, and you don’t know how big of a mistake that you’re making.”
“You have known my wife?”
Was he saying, what I think he was saying?
“Yes, I know about the mole on the small of her back and the birthmark on her inner thigh.”
I was just looking at that very thing this morning and the idea that he’d seen it too, had never occurred to me before. Now that it did, I wanted to smash his face, just as badly as I did Jeff’s.
“Take it back old man. That’s my wife you’re talking about!”
I don’t know where the rage came from, but it hit me like a ton of bricks. I was suffocating where I stood, and I wanted him to tell me that it was a lie. I didn’t want to believe that what he said was true.
“I will not. Where do you think Jeff found her? I was the one that gave him the number to that nasty bar where she used to work. You really should have done your homework, before you married her. And let me guess, you didn’t get a prenuptial agreement.”
“I was roofied by your youngest son. How was I supposed to do that?”
My head was spinning and the more he grinned, the more desperately I wanted to hit him. This was all his fault. He’d ruined everything. He’d ruined the only woman that I’d ever loved. That wasn’t something that I was ever going to be able to forgive him for.
“It doesn’t matter. Do what is right and get rid of her while you still can.”
“I will do no such thing. You don’t have a say in this.”
“I do, if you want to have the company when I retire.”
“I don’t want the company. I don’t want anything from you. Give it to Jeff. He’s more your ilk anyways.”
I stormed out of the office and then out of the building. I was on fumes by the time I got to the car. What had I just done?
Anna
I was waiting for Scott when he got home. While he’d said six, he was actually an hour late. Dinner was staying warm in the oven and I was getting a little tipsy with a bottle of wine that I had started partaking in around the time I realized he may be standing me up. Maybe it was payback for the night before, when I’d went out instead of coming home.
When he first came in, I was thinking about yelling at him. But there was a look on his face that I didn’t quite understand. He also had marks on his face like he’d been in a fight when he came into the light. The intentions I had of him being late and not answering my calls, was going to have to take a back burner. Instead of worrying about all of that, I wanted to know what happened, because it was clear that something did. I asked him and got a look that I hadn’t seen before.
He was looking at me, like he looked at his brother and they did not get along. I wanted to ask him why he was mad at me, but I didn’t have to. Scott told me rather quickly in a jumble of words that took a minute to decipher.
“What do you mean?”
“It’s simple Anna, tell me why my dad knows where your mole and birthmark are. He says he knows you. Is that true?”
“Is that what happened? You got into a fight with your father?”
“Why don’t you call him Jimmy? I wondered why you were so comfortable around each other, I didn’t realize that it was because you’d slept with him.”
“I didn’t sleep with him Scott. He tried, many times, but I told you before that I don’t do that sort of thing.”
He wasn’t listening to me, not really. His eyes were all but glossed over and it was clear that he didn’t want to hear anything I said.
“So, he didn’t screw you, but you danced for him, on him?”
“Yes, and that must be where he saw it. You’ve seen my outfits.”
His face got tighter and I knew I was losing him. He barely could look at me now. He was shutting down and pushing me away, all in one motion. I knew that this was going to happen, I’d told myself over and over again to be careful, but now I wasn’t so sure of anything.
“I know you think that it is supposed to make me feel better, but it doesn't Anna. The fact that my dad saw you practically naked is never going to make me feel better. It is also not going to give me the business. I quit today and now Jeff is going to get it. He has one so there is no more sense in playing this game. It has been played out.”
I didn't know what to say, but I was hoping that I was hearing him wrong. Surely, he didn't mean what I thought he did. I needed clarification.
“What do you mean Scott?”
“I mean this is over. We were married under drugs or rather I was. I don't know if you set this up with Jeff are not. It is certainly something that he would do. He would find this funny.”
“What about last night?”
Everything that I thought was real apparently was not. Last night meant nothing to him. How could it, if he could talk to me in such a way?”
“Last night you gave it up. I guess you can continue to say that you don't do that sort of thing. You know, because you somehow figured out a way to get me to marry you.”
I couldn't believe that he would think that about me. But I knew that he did. His eyes told me everything I needed to know and none of it was good. There was something going on in his head and I was not going to be able to convince him otherwise. He really did think these horrible things about me, and I don’t think there is anything that I can do about it.
“Fine Scott. If that’s really how you feel. I won’t waste anymore of your time.”
I just walked out. I didn’t take anything with me, because there was no way that I was going to have the wherewithal to collect them. I am sure that I would come back for them later, but for now, I just wanted to get out of there. I didn’t want him to see me crying, even though I could feel blotchy hot spots on my face, my eyes burning. How could he think that of me?
I’d thought that we had a connection, but now I was realizing that it wasn’t the truth at all. I had just been kidding myself. I knew this was going to happen and I was upset with myself more than anything that I’d actually believed him. How could I have been so stupid?
After a lot of deliberation, I decided to give back the money that was paid for tuition by Scott. I had to take out a loan to do it, but I didn't want to
owe him anything. I also took out a little bit more, so that I could get a divorce lawyer to drop the paperwork. I didn't want anything from Scott. I just wanted his signature and to never have to think about this again.
I don't know why I was so sad about it. I shouldn't have been, but it felt like there was something lost that I was never going to get back again. Whatever had happened between me and Scott had been more than he wanted to admit, and I was okay with that. Even if he didn't say it out loud, I knew that he felt something. We both had and I was going to try to hold on to that, instead of the bitterness that I felt because it was over.
I also decided that I had to go back to work. I didn't want to, but if it was going to be thrown in my face every time I turned around, I might as well make some decent money while it happens. I only have one more semester of school and then after that, I wouldn't have to do this anymore.
The first night was harder than I thought it would be. I knew it was going to be hard to go back, but I had no idea how much it would mess with my head. It wasn't as easy to compartmentalize it as it was before and after my first dance on the stage, I knew that I wasn't going to be able to do this anymore. This just wasn't me, whether everyone else believe me or not. Whether they wanted to hold it against me, I couldn't help it, but I knew that I couldn't continue to do this.
About the time I was leaving, I almost physically ran into Jimmy. It was really the icing on the top of one of the worst days that I had had lately. I had just sent through the divorce papers, signed my part of it and now I was going to have to look for another job. But of course, that wasn't enough. I had to run into my ex father in law that ruined everything, to top it off.
“I see you went back to your old ways Anna. That didn't take long at all. did it?”
I should've come back with some barb, to show him that he didn't bother me, but he did. What he destroyed between me and Scott was something that I was never going to find again. I knew that deep in my heart and it made it even harder to walk away from it.
“Goodnight Jimmy. I don't have anything to say to you.”