Return to Me

by Jill Sanders

  He laughed. “I can cook a few dishes, but make no mistake, I’m no master like Iian Jordan.” He nodded towards the man in question.

  Iian had been head chief of the Golden Oar for almost as long as anyone could remember. Even in his teens, he’d worked in the kitchens. He was simply a master at making food look good and taste great.

  “Speaking of which…” She turned back towards him. “I didn’t know you knew sign language.”

  His eyebrows shot up as he looked at her. “There’s a lot about me that you don’t know. Your eyes were always glued to Nick.” He smiled. “Not that it was a bad thing; just that you kind of let life pass you by for a while there.”

  She frowned a little. “I did? What do you mean?”

  He shrugged his shoulders. “I guess we all notice what we want in life.”

  She thought about it for a moment. “Like how you thought about Skyler?”

  He sobered a little. “Yeah. I wanted her to be something that she could never be.”

  “What was that?” She leaned forward a little.

  He looked her right in the eyes and said, “Like you.”

  *******

  Sean felt like kicking himself for letting that slip. He’d been caught up in the conversation. He hadn’t thought of how his words would sound when spoken out loud.

  “I…” He shook his head. “I mean, how loyal you were to Nick.” He looked back down at his hands.

  She smiled and nodded her head. “It’s okay, I understand. Skyler wasn’t the best girlfriend.”

  He released his breath and nodded.

  “Why did you propose to her in the first place?” she asked after their drinks were delivered.

  He shrugged his shoulders and looked down at his hands. “Nick had just proposed to you, and Skyler was very set on following your lead. She was very determined to marry. You know, she actually wanted to get married before I left?”

  She shook her head. “Skyler got what Skyler wanted.” She sighed. “I’m sorry.”

  He shrugged his shoulders again. “I’m just glad it ended.”

  “About that.” She frowned a little and he started to worry. “Does Skyler know? I mean, have you officially broken it off with her?”

  He nodded. “During the last of the three Skype calls we had over the last six years.”

  “Three? Only three?” Becca shook her head.

  “Yeah. It’s one of the reasons I knew it was over a long time ago.” He shook his head, remembering how Nick had always gotten excited for the once or twice a month calls he would get from Becca. “Nick was always filling me in about your calls, and he mentioned a few times how you’d told him about Skyler.”

  “I’m sorry.” She looked down at her glass. He reached over and took her hand.

  “Don’t be. I was glad when it ended. It was almost as if I’d been freed from a prison.”

  “Was your relationship with her that bad?”

  He shook his head, not wanting to let go of her hand, so he held on a moment longer. “No, we’d only been dating my senior year.” He sighed and looked out the window. Then he turned back to her. “Why did you ask if Skyler knew it was over?”

  She winced a little and looked out the large windows at the water. “She stopped by the bakery today. Shortly after you left.”

  “And?” He felt a headache coming on.

  “She was going on as if you two were still an item.” She shook her head. “I don’t even think she realizes you’re back in town. Funny, everyone in town knows but her.”

  “She knows.” He frowned remembering the call he’d gotten from her the first night he was home. He’d even told her not to show up to his party and was thankful she hadn’t.

  Just then, Iian stopped by their table to make sure everything was okay. Sean talked with him for a while in sign language. Iian didn’t speak much, but since he’d married and become a father, he’d started talking more and more. The man was an excellent lip reader.

  “I hear you two are going on a trip soon,” he said.

  Becca had just taken a drink of her water and started coughing. Sean nodded after making sure she was okay. “Yeah, I’m going to call and arrange it all tomorrow.”

  “Well, I know you two will have a great time. Allison and I went on a cruise down to Mexico for our honeymoon.” He smiled and sighed. “Our anniversary is coming up.” He rubbed his chin with his hand. “Might be time for another one. I hear the Disney cruises are nice for parents.”

  Sean smiled and nodded. After Iian left them alone again, Becca leaned forward and whispered.

  “Do you think the whole town knows?”

  He chuckled. “Probably so.” Then he frowned a little. “Does it bother you?”

  He watched a small crease form between her eyebrows. “No, not really. I’ve never been one to worry about gossip.”

  “Then what?” He leaned a little closer to her.

  “Do you think that everyone will think that we’re sleeping together?”

  He didn’t know how to respond, so he shrugged his shoulders a little.

  “Not that it matters.” She frowned as she looked down at the table.

  “If it bothers you, I can stay…”

  “Don’t you dare.” Her eyes flew to his. “You can’t cancel on me.” She shook her head. “I don’t know if I would have the guts to go through with it.”

  “It’s just a trip.” He frowned a little.

  “It’s the first time I’ll be leaving the US. Oregon for that matter.”

  “You’ve really never been outside of Oregon?”

  She shook her head no.

  He reached over and took her hand when he saw sadness in her eyes.

  “Don’t worry. I’ll go. Traveling is not as scary as you might think.” He smiled to reassure her.

  “I don’t know. Just knowing all the plane accidents that happen each year…”

  Frowning, he remembered when he’d heard about Nick’s flight and how it had skidded off the runway in Munich. “Becca.” He waited until she looked him in the eyes. “Nothing like that is going to happen. It was a fluke. You’re safer flying than driving a car. So they say.” When he squeezed her hand, she nodded.

  Just then, the waitress walked up to deliver their food, and he dropped her hand. Instantly, he felt the loss.

  It was hard to concentrate the rest of the evening. He kept stealing glances at Becca. Their conversation flowed, as it always had between them, but he couldn’t stop himself from feeling a little on edge.

  Maybe it was the fact that the sun was setting out their window, casting some of the most beautiful colors he could ever remember. Or, maybe it was just the company he was in.

  She’d changed from her work clothes and was wearing a sundress that hugged her in all the right places. The color almost matched her eyes and with the dying sunlight streaming through the window, he was quickly realizing he was a romantic underneath his tough exterior.

  Poems and songs kept popping into his head. Every time he looked at her, he imagined them being together. It was so hard for him to put all his desires aside. He knew it was probably just the long sexual hiatus that was driving him mad.

  But as he drove her back to her apartment, he was silently wishing she’d ask him upstairs.

  His heart skipped as they pulled into the parking lot at the grocery store. Parking next to her car, he turned in time to see her look up at her apartment nervously.

  “What?” he asked.

  She looked over at him and frowned. “Nothing.” She shook her head. “It’s just…” She sighed. “Did you really mean what you said about Skyler?”

  He chuckled. “I said a lot about Skyler tonight.”

  “About how you wished she was more like me?”

  He nodded, waiting for her to continue.

  “I’d always wanted to be more like her.” She sighed and rested back in the seat. “I know it’s bad, but I always wished I’d had the guts to do some of the things she’s d
one in the last couple years. Do you know that she went to Paris? Twice?” She sighed.

  “Traveling doesn’t make you a good person.”

  “Oh, I know that, but to get out, explore new places. See places that most people only dream about.” She sighed.

  He frowned. “I went to almost every country during my time with the Special Forces.” He frowned as he remembered almost every trip. “Still, I prefer Pride.”

  “It’s probably different. I mean, you were there for official business. But to travel for pleasure…” She glanced at him and then shook her head quickly. “I have that paperwork upstairs.”

  “Paperwork?” He frowned.

  She giggled. “You said you were going to call and schedule the trip. You might need the receipt and pass information.”

  “Oh.” He nodded. “I’ll come up, if that’s okay?”

  She nodded and smiled at him. He kept telling himself he’d run up, get the paperwork, and leave. Simple. He was trying to convince himself that was why she asked him up. Not to sit on her sofa and kiss her until the sun came up.

  Shaking his head, he got out and rushed around to open her door for her. He forgot to move aside after he’d opened the door, and she ended up bumping solidly into his chest. Her hands went up between them and his went to her hips to steady himself. When he looked down at her, she was smiling up at him and he felt his breath leave him.

  “It’s been a while since I’ve had a man do that,” she said softly.

  He blinked a few times, trying to remember how to breathe, how to speak.

  She smiled and chuckled a little. “You know, open a car door for me.”

  “Oh,” he said again and felt his fingers tighten on her soft hips.

  “Sean?” she said, leaning a little closer to him.

  “Mmm?” His eyes were glued to her lips. Wishing. Wanting.

  “People are staring.” She chuckled.

  His eyes moved from her lips to her eyes, and he could see that she was looking off towards the parking lot. Glancing over, he noticed Amber and Luke smiling at them.

  “Evening,” Luke called out.

  Sean nodded his head. He and Luke used to be buddies in school.

  “How’s it going?” Sean dropped his hands from Becca’s hips and took a big step back.

  “Can’t complain,” Luke said, loading a bag of groceries into the back of their car. “I was glad to hear that you’re back in town.”

  Sean nodded. “Might be heading out again for a while.” He nodded to Becca.

  “Yeah, heard about that too.” He chuckled and pointed to Amber behind her back. Sean got the hint and nodded. “Well, when you get back for good, let me know. I’ve got some news,” he said as he loaded up the last bag.

  “Will do.” Sean watched as Luke opened the door for Amber and they drove off.

  “News?” Becca asked. “I wonder if they’re pregnant?” She sighed and leaned back against his car.

  He turned to her and frowned. “What makes you jump to that conclusion?”

  She chuckled. “Didn’t you see what was in those bags?” She nodded to their car as they drove up the hill.

  “No.” He frowned.

  “There was enough ice cream to feed an army.” She smiled and started walking towards the stairs.

  “So, maybe their having a party?”

  She shook her head. “The whole town would know if they were having a party. Besides, Amber has been out sick the last two days.”

  “Now how do you know that?” He watched her open her door.

  “Small towns. Besides, I have a gift for these kind of things.”

  “Oh really?” He chuckled, thinking of the secret he was keeping for her sister.

  “Sure.” She set her bag down and walked over to the sofa and sat down. “Like, I bet you didn’t know that my sister is pregnant.” She smiled over at him and he felt his jaw drop.

  Then he walked towards her with a smile. “Actually, I did.”

  This time it was her jaw that dropped.

  “Liar.” She crossed her arms over her chest and kicked her sandals off.

  He shook his head and sat next to her. “She confided in me just yesterday.” He smiled. “The question is, how do you know? She told me it was a secret.”

  “Oh, it still is. I can just tell. For starters…” She leaned back and tucked her feet up underneath her. “She stopped trying all the food she was making.”

  He shrugged his shoulders. “So, maybe she’s just watching her weight.”

  She chuckled and shook her head. “I mean, she won’t even touch a bite. And when I asked her to try some frosting I’d made, she shook her head and rushed to the bathroom.”

  He nodded and chuckled. “I guess morning sickness is a telltale sign.”

  Becca nodded and looked off to the dark window.

  “Things are changing so fast.” She sighed.

  “Like what?” He reached over and absentmindedly played with the tips of her hair.

  “Sara and Allen, Luke and Amber, and you.” She looked over at him.

  “Me?” His fingers stilled in her hair and he watched her bite her bottom lip as her eyes locked with his.

  Chapter Six

  She nodded slowly. “You, being here.” He looked at her questioningly. “Not here, here.” She looked around. “I mean, home.”

  Why did it seem like whenever he got this close to her, her brain and mouth stopped working?

  “Change is good.” It almost came out as a whisper. She nodded a little. “Isn’t it a good thing that I’m here?”

  She nodded a little too quickly and he smiled. Her eyes were glued to his mouth and she couldn’t stop herself from wondering what those lips would feel like pressed against her own.

  His eyes were sparkling with mischief, and she had the funny feeling that he had meant here, here. Not just in town.

  “Becca?” She loved hearing him say her name. His voice was rich and sexy and made her knees feel weak.

  She hadn’t even really known that his hand was in her hair, not until he pulled her closer, until they were a breath away.

  “This is probably a mistake,” he said, just before his lips glided over hers.

  She couldn’t have imagined the kiss if she’d spent years trying. His lips were softer and warmer than she’d envisioned. His hand was in her hair, holding her close as his other traveled to her hip. She felt his nails dig in a little. Her own fingers traveled up his arms until she gripped his shoulders.

  Her eyes closed on a moan as his tongue darted out and licked her closed lips. She opened for him and tilted her head and felt her breath hitch at the taste of him.

  She lost track of time and place as her head spun and her world became only about him and taking her next breath.

  When he pulled back, it took her a minute to realize why he was frowning at the table. Her phone was ringing and she hadn’t even noticed the noise over the sound of her heart beating in her ears.

  “I’d better…” He got off the sofa quickly and started walking towards the door. She frowned down at her coffee table and noticed the paperwork sitting underneath her phone.

  “Sean?” She jumped up from the sofa and raced towards him. He turned quickly back towards her, his hand on the doorknob. “The papers.” She handed them to him as he frowned and nodded to her.

  He didn’t say anything as he walked out. When the door shut behind him, she leaned back against it and sighed. Then her phone started ringing again and she raced to answer it.

  “Hello?”

  “Oh, there you are, Becca. I was beginning to wonder if I’d better send out the troops to make sure you were okay.” Her mother chuckled.

  “Hi, Mother.” She walked to the front windows and watched Sean’s car disappear up the hill. She sighed and closed her eyes and mind to one of the best kisses she’d ever had.

  “Hello?” Her mother said a little louder. “Are you there? I think we have a bad connection.”

  �
��Sorry.” She walked back over to the sofa and plopped down on it. “I’m here. What’s going on?”

  “Well, I was just telling you that Paulo was going to be coming with me on this trip to meet you girls.”

  “Hmmm.” She nodded. “That will be nice.” She tucked her feet under herself and tossed the blanket that sat on the back of her sofa over herself. For some reason she was chilled. As she talked to her mother, she tried to convince herself that it had nothing to do with the fact that Sean’s warmth had seared her and she desperately missed it.

  “So, what’s this I hear about you running off with Sean Farrow?” Becca almost choked on air. “So, the rumors are true.” Her mother giggled as she continued to cough. Becca could just imagine her rubbing her hands together, plotting out the wedding.

  “I am not running off with Sean,” she finally said when she’d gotten her breath back.

  “Well of course you aren’t.” She could hear the smile in her mother’s tone. “I’m sure you two are just going to take a friendly cruise to the Bahamas and stay in one of the fanciest hotels in Nassau.” She sighed knowing her mother wasn’t done. “Oh, and stay in the same room, too.”

  Becca’s eyes flew open. “We are not…” She stopped herself and thought about it. Where they staying in the same room? She couldn’t imagine Nick getting two suites. Either on the cruise or at the hotel.

  “I see by your silence that you hadn’t thought that far ahead. Well, I have, dear. You say the word and I’ll pay for an extra suite for you.”

  “No, Mother. That won’t be necessary. After all, Sean and I are just friends.” The thought of the kiss that her mother’s phone call had interrupted flashed through her mind. She closed her eyes again and rested her head back on the sofa.

  “It’s okay, honey. I think everyone in town will agree with me that it’s okay.” Her mother sighed. “I know you. You’re a lot like I am. I beat myself up for years after your father left. I didn’t want to date or even just go out with friends. Of course, my situation is a lot different since I had to deal with a lying, cheating…Sorry.” Her mother let out a large breath. “Anyway. You loved Nick. Nick loved you. It was tragic, losing him. But don’t do what I did by locking yourself away. Go. Get out. You’re so young. Enjoy yourself. If something happens between you, roll with it.”