by Audra Red
Elijah rolled his eyes. “I promise.”
“I don’t believe you,” Alexander said.
“If you don’t tell me right now I’m going to burst,” Elijah exclaimed, a little too loudly for Alexander’s taste.
“Hush,” Alexander hissed. Sometimes he couldn’t believe Elijah ran the entire library, as childish as he often acted. Though Alexander had to admit, that’s why he loved his friend so much, his unique ability to never take anything too seriously.
“Alexander, I demand you tell me, or you’re fired,” Elijah tried, raising an eyebrow. Alexander just scoffed. “No good? Well, how about I lay the guilt trip on you?”
“Elijah,” Alexander sighed.
“Seriously, I can’t believe that you don’t think you can confide in me. It really hurts, Alex. We’ve been best friends for four years, and I always thought you could tell me anything.” Elijah gave Alexander a long look, his big blue eyes near pleading.
“Fine,” Alexander said, giving in. “I’m sorry, of course I’ll tell you.”
“Ah ha! So the guilt trip does work!” Elijah crowed, all hurt and sadness gone from his face.
“That’s it, I’m not telling you anything.”
“Alexaaaaaaaaaander.”
“I’ll make the face, Eli, don’t push your luck.”
Elijah gasped in mock horror. “I was lying when I said I hated the face. In fact, I’m charmed by it. Give your mother a call, I’m reconsidering our relationship.”
Alexander couldn’t help but laugh, shaking his head at Elijah. “You’re such a freak, Eli.”
“Yeah, well, you’re—”
“I’m going out with Daniel tonight.”
Elijah’s feisty retort died on his tongue. “Are you kidding me?” he asked, mouth agape.
“Yeah, I wish,” Alexander said.
“Whoa, what happened?”
Alexander frowned and drew in closer to Elijah. “I haven’t told him yet, can you believe the stupidity of me? We’re going out to dinner, and I’m just going to show up… being me.” Alexander let his head drop and leaned heavily back against the bookshelf.
“Alexander, being you is the best thing you’ve got going for yourself,” Elijah said.
Alexander smiled a little at that. “But I’m so nervous,” he admitted. “I’m shaky… and sweating all over.”
“Alexander,” Elijah said firmly. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine. It’s nothing I can’t handle. It’s just, I woke up this morning and there was a blister on my knee. I know it’s nothing really out of the ordinary, probably from rolling around, sweating a little more than usual. You know how nervous I get. And I had a tiny little slip a few days ago, but it wasn’t anything big.” Alexander looked up and smiled weakly. “I haven’t had a sore on my legs in ages, not since Cat got lost and we were running all over SoHo looking for the little bastard.”
“Have you talked with your doctor?” Elijah asked, stepping in and laying a friendly hand on Alexander’s shoulder.
Alexander shook his head. “I know how to deal with it, it’s just… unpleasant. It’s not even a bad one, just a tiny little thing. But you know me, any change makes me ill at ease. I think I’m overreacting because of how sensitive my hands and feet have been lately.”
“Alex, you shouldn’t be worrying yourself so much over this. It’s only dinner, and I’m sure he’ll understand. Don’t you want to give it a shot?” Elijah’s grip on Alexander’s shoulder tightened.
Alexander blushed, eyes lowering.
“You lost cause, you,” Elijah said with a laugh. “It’s okay to like someone, you know. It’s not like you’ve never gone on a date before.”
Alexander’s blush deepened.
“You’ve got to be kidding me, Alex,” Elijah said in shock. “You’ve… never?”
“Elijah, I was home schooled! It isn’t that weird… and I’m not the most confident person. I could barely talk up a girl, let alone a bloke! And I have gone on a date, but never with someone I really cared about.” Alexander was near dying of embarrassment then, trying to pull away from Elijah. “I don’t want to talk about this.”
“Hey,” Elijah said softly. “You’ve got to start somewhere.”
“But you didn’t see him!” Alexander nearly yelled. “And we’re going to dinner. I’ve got to look nice, I can’t look nice.”
“Alexander, you always look… interesting,” Elijah finished, and Alexander scowled.
“Thanks,” Alexander huffed.
“Why don’t you let me come over before he picks you up? I’ll give you a pep talk, make sure you’re not wearing underwear on your head and shoo you out the door. It’ll be really… girlish,” Elijah ended lamely.
“Eli, I don’t need constant supervision.”
“Maybe not,” Elijah said. “But you’re not going to wear that, are you?” He made a face and Alexander tried to look hurt.
“What’s wrong with this shirt?”
“It’s yellow.”
“I like yellow,” Alexander said in defense.
“Bright yellow.”
Maybe it was a little bright.
“And you call yourself straight,” Alexander whined.
“And you call yourself… Alexander,” Elijah retorted, grinning wide.
Alexander opened his mouth once, and then closed it, biting back a remark. “I guess I’ll see you around four then?” he asked with a heavy sigh.
“Give or take a few hours.”
***
“Bank Street,” Daniel muttered, plugging the directions into his GPS. It was twenty to six, city lights reflecting off the wet road, and Daniel was driving down Washington, looking for street signs through the freezing rain. “Perfect weather, absolutely.”
He nearly missed his turn as he fiddled with the radio station, cursing quietly as a car pulled out in front of him. Normally, he’d lean on his horn, but tonight he felt a bit too well, and resorting to his usual hurried, crude behavior seemed off base.
So, Daniel merely nodded at the flustered youth in the vehicle that had almost struck his, and drove on.
Finding the classic rock station, Daniel smiled, relaxed but still full of anticipatory butterflies. Yes, Daniel was well.
You see, he had a date, and unlike most of the dates he’d experienced in the past year or so, he actually looked forward to this one.
Daniel smiled again, and turned up Neil Young who was telling him to “dream up, dream up.”
***
“No, really, you look beautiful in green.”
“Elijah?” Alexander stared hard at his friend.
“Hey, I agree,” Elijah said.
“I specifically told you not to tell Elizabeth!” Alexander cried, fleeing his bedroom with a fluttering Elizabeth behind him.
“Alex!” Elizabeth squawked, tugging on one of Alexander’s long curls. “You really expected Eli to help you in any way? He can’t even dress himself.”
“She has a point,” Elijah called from the bedroom. “Whoa, is this a thong?”
Alexander’s ears went bright red, and Elizabeth’s eyes opened wide. They both hurried back into the room to see Elijah looking thoughtfully at the green turtleneck Alexander had thrown on the bed.
“You are such a child,” Elizabeth said, rolling her eyes.
“Hey, why is he blushing so hard if it isn’t true?” Elijah pointed out. Alexander sighed heavily, and pressed his hands gently to his face.
How had this entire thing gotten so far out of control?
“Elijah, he blushes when I come into work wearing black pantyhose,” Elizabeth said. “Alex, honey, I beat it out of him, I swear. I’m just so excited for you. You haven’t been on a date in ages!”
“Literally,” Elijah quipped, and Elizabeth shot him a dirty look.
“Liz,” Alexander said quietly from between his hands.
“What is it?”
“Do I really blush that much?”
Elizabeth laughed a
nd gently took Alexander’s hands in her own. “Yes, but you’re beautiful when you do,” she said. Alexander lifted his head, caught her warm gaze, and smiled. “Well, right now you look like a tomato.”
“Hey!” Alexander said, pulling back. “So, the green turtleneck?”
“I’d vote on it,” Elijah said, standing.
Alexander could tell Elijah felt a tad left out, and he grinned at his younger friend. He picked up the green turtleneck sweater and said, “See, Lij does have some taste.”
Elizabeth laughed and Elijah scowled. “I hate when you call me Lij.”
“I think it’s cute,” Elizabeth commented, and this time Elijah reddened.
Alexander giggled, hearing Elijah mumble a flustered, “Really?” as he walked into the bathroom. Once in the small bathroom, he carefully lifted the purple shirt that Elizabeth had called atrocious only a few hours earlier over his head.
He was very particular with the shirts he wore, bright colors or not. Rarely did he wear button up shirts, and as a rule he stayed away from them. Lately even zippers were a task, but it was a bit more difficult to find trousers without them and he refused to wear pants with elastic waist bands.
He pulled the shirt slowly off his arms and over his wrapped hands, wincing only slightly when the sleeve hooked around his thumb. His hands and back were still sore from the incident in the kitchen some nights ago, but he tried to keep his mind off that.
Looking in the mirror, he tried to smile. It was more difficult now that he was alone. Though he had been rather annoyed with Elijah for telling Elizabeth about his date and bringing her over to the apartment, he found that their combined supportive presence had actually calmed the nerves in his stomach. He’d been almost frantic the entire day, and now he only felt a bit shaky.
The mirror was kind that evening, and Alexander approved of what he saw. His hair actually behaved for a change, soft and long at his shoulders. He smiled, telling himself that it was only one night…
Telling himself that Daniel would understand, that he wouldn’t stare at Alexander’s hands like perhaps the disease that lingered there might be contagious. Alexander’s smile smoothed into a frown, his hands sweating.
Or Daniel might not understand, he might only think of Alexander as a good, quick time.
The thought made Alexander’s stomach jump, made his eyes see the mirror in a different way. His naked chest was so slight, so small, his waist trim to the point of emaciation. The smooth, soft skin was marred, blistered, imperfect.
Trembling, he put a gentle hand to his collarbone. He let it rest there as his heartbeat picked up. All of his nervous energy welled up underneath his skin, and he wanted to cover it immediately.
He turned from the mirror and pulled on the turtleneck quickly, uncaring of how his hands and back stung. Tears welled in his eyes, and he couldn’t help but think of how ridiculous he was, crying over something so normal.
And then there was a knock on the door.
“Alexander?” It was Elizabeth. “My, god, Alex, I think he’s here!”
Alexander gulped, wiping at his eyes with the sleeve of his sweater.
“Alexander, are you alright?”
“Yes, yes,” he stammered out, avoiding the mirror at all costs. “Are you sure?”
“Yes!” Elizabeth whispered harshly. “Who else would be knocking on your door at six?”
Alexander took a deep breath and pushed the door open. “You didn’t get the door?”
“No, Elijah started squealing like a girl,” Elizabeth said. “Alex, are you really okay? You look…”
Another knock on the door rung out through the apartment.
“I’ve got to get that,” Alexander said. He walked past her, and then stopped as Elijah bounded out of the bedroom. “Oh, no!”
“What?” Elizabeth and Elijah asked in unison.
“I don’t want Daniel to see Elijah here.”
“Oh, thanks,” Elijah muttered.
“No, it’s not that,” Alexander said.
“Except for if it is,” Elijah countered.
The knocking came again, and Alexander’s eyes went big. “Say something,” Elizabeth said, motioning to the door.
Alexander opened his mouth and then closed it. “Um,” he said, walking toward the door. “Just a moment!”
There were a few seconds of silence.
'Maybe he left,' Alexander thought, an odd sense of relief washing through him.
“Okay,” came a warm voice through the door. It was definitely Daniel. “It’s, just… I think there’s a cat out here who desperately dislikes me…”
Alexander’s eyes went wider.
“Cat!” he said loudly, turning and glaring at Elijah.
“Yes, a cat,” Daniel said again.
“One moment!” Alexander called loudly. “Elijah, you let Cat out again?” he hissed. Elijah hid behind Elizabeth.
Daniel said something softly in reply, but Alexander was busy frantically pulling on his jacket and mittens.
“You two,” he whispered, turning toward his friends. “In the bathroom!”
“What?” Elizabeth squeaked. Elijah looked almost pleased.
“I don’t want him to think… or… Elijah,” Alexander finished. “How pathetic will I look if I have half of my friends over, waiting with me?”
“We're your only friends,” Elijah corrected.
Elizabeth smacked him in the shoulder. “Alex, he won’t care,” she said, but Alexander wasn’t listening.
“And I don’t want to do introductions yet. I’m so nervous.”
Elizabeth frowned, but pushed Elijah into the bathroom anyway. “Have a good time,” she whispered, leaning forward to give Alexander a soft kiss on the cheek. “Don’t be nervous.”
Alexander forced a smile and nudged the door shut, turning to stare at the front door.
“Okay,” he whispered, and then strode purposely across the floor. Adjusting his mittens, he opened the door.
Chapter Six
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“Alexander,” Daniel greeted softly, arms full of Cat. “I think we’ve come to a truce, the cat and I.”
“Oh,” was all Alexander could muster. There stood Daniel, looking as handsome as ever, dressed in a crisp grey suit that was now quit covered in cat hair.
“See, your neighbor, the tiny little Chinese lady from across the hall, came out with her dog, and let me just say, this little fellow found me quite a bit more charming then. He hopped right into my arms.”
Alexander stood awkwardly in the doorway for a few moments, calming his breathing. “Daniel,” he finally said, meeting the older man’s eyes.