by Audra Red
“I made apology tea and cleaned the spaghetti sauce from the floor,” Elijah said with a large grin. He padded into the kitchen, coming back with a steaming mug. “There.”
“Thank you,” Alexander murmured, taking the cup carefully. A quiet hiss escaped his mouth as his uncovered hands made contact with the warm china.
Elijah frowned and sat down beside him, batting a few pillows to the floor. Alexander gave him a look and Elijah put his hands up in defense. “I also fed your cat and cleaned his litter box, the unappreciative little rat.”
“Don’t be so cruel,” Alexander said through a yawn.
“Alexander…” Elijah stared down at his friend’s hands. “How are you?”
“Tired.” Alexander looked up at Elijah and saw the concern in his friend’s eyes. “I’m fine, really.”
“Did you tell him?”
Alexander shook his head. “He’s calling me again, tonight. Eli, I… I shouldn’t do this.”
“But you like him,” Elijah said, his brow knitting together. “I thought you did.”
“It’s more complicated than that, and we don’t have time to talk about it.”
“Of course we do, if something is bothering you…”
Alexander stood, turning away from Elijah. “You need to get back to your place, and I need to get ready for work. Thanks for the tea and everything else, really.”
Elijah watched Alexander’s back for a few moments, wondering what he could possibly say to his friend. He couldn’t think of a single word, mostly because he didn’t understand.
“I’ll see you later then,” Elijah said, standing stiffly. Alexander nodded, and disappeared into his room.
Elijah was left with a cup of cooling tea.
***
That night Alexander curled up on the couch, allowing Cat to hop up and stretch out beside him as he pulled a thick afghan across his legs.
“Of course, yes, uh huh,” he mumbled into the phone, watching the sun slide down below the horizon and the lights come up in the city. He was on the phone with his mother, having finally called her back after his supper that evening. She’d called again while he was at work, and he knew there was no way he could avoid returning the call. “I just ate, Mum. Yes, I took my vitamins before work, I promise. Oh, I know, Mum. Yes, Mum.”
His mother was overly worried, as usual. Ever since Alexander had moved away from home, which was a good four years ago, she’d become nearly paranoid over his health. ‘With good reason, too,’ Alexander thought, shivering slightly in the cold of his apartment.
“No, mum, I’m not coming down with anything, just a bit chilly. I’ll turn up the heat the moment I get off the phone with you.”
She meant well, of course, but sometimes Alexander wanted to handle things on his own. He’d moved away from home, from a small town in Massachusetts to the big city, trying to find some independence, some normality. Usually he felt nearly there (though he counted on Elijah for a lot), but whenever his mother came to visit or called, he felt like he was seven again, depending on her for everything.
But such things weren’t on his mind that evening, and his distraction wasn’t due to his usual exhaustion or discomfort.
Daniel would be calling him soon, and Alexander’s stomach fluttered just thinking about it. He was only half listening to his mother, agreeing to her questions without thought, and making approving noises in the back of his throat when appropriate.
Of course it was only seven and Daniel said he would call around ten, but Alexander was still anxious. He’d never been much for phone conversations, he disliked the absence of eyes and lips to draw understanding from. While talking with his mother he never knew when she was really upset; she could easily mask her deep concern. This had negative ramifications, as she’d usually show up on his doorstep the next morning, worried out of her mind because Alexander hadn’t been able to soothe her unease.
Minutes crept by, and Alexander’s stomach soon did somersaults. He’d spent the entire day in a stupor, avoiding Elijah at all costs, not wishing to speak of his conversation with Daniel the evening prior. His severe unease with the situation was enough to draw his mind away from his sore hand, which had developed quite a large blister on the soft palm.
Alexander zoned out again, slightly comforted by the gentle hum of his mother’s voice over the line and the gentle rise and fall of his cat’s belly.
When the phone beeped loudly at him, he nearly jumped off the couch, his hand sliding down the armrest. His soundly sleeping cat bolted up as well, fleeing in an annoyed manner.
“Fuck!” he yelped, his hand burning. “No, not you, Mum. No, just, please Mum, I’m fine. I just slipped. That’s my call waiting. I’m sorry, no it’s alright. I’m gonna get this quick, okay? It’s probably Eli and… Mum! I don’t think Eli’d be happy with that. Mum, I’ve got to… okay, I’ll be right back.”
Alexander pressed the talk button without a thought, groaning in an annoyed fashion as his hand stung.
“This had better be good,” he said in greeting, slouching back against the cushions.
“Now that, I can’t guarantee,” came the soft rumble of Daniel’s voice.
Alexander bit back a surprised squeak. “No!” he said sharply, already flushing like mad. The things the man did to him. He scowled inwardly. “I didn’t mean you, I mean, I didn’t know it was you. Daniel.”
“Alexander.” Daniel could hear the slight panic in Alexander’s voice, and let his name roll out deeply, soothingly.
“I wasn’t expecting you,” Alexander said.
“I’m sorry, but I realized how rude I’d been last night, calling you past your bedtime,” Daniel replied, shifting slightly on his own couch. He was settled comfortably in his living room, all the lights off.
“Oh,” Alexander said, pulling his feet in closer to his body. “I’m not much for late nights. I’m glad you called, but I…”
“Hmm?”
“Just give me a moment, I need to… I have someone on the other line,” Alexander said.
“Do you want me to call back? I didn’t mean to interrupt. I can call back.” But Daniel didn’t want to call back at all, he didn’t want to get off the line with the soft spoken young man.
“Well.” The idea did appeal to Alexander, but he didn’t want to put off the conversation any longer than he had to. “No, that’s fine. I… I was just wrapping up the conversation. Give me moment?”
“Of course. But hurry back.”
Alexander couldn’t help but smile. “All right,” he replied, waiting a beat, and changing lines. “Mum? No, wasn’t Eli. Listen, I need to take this. Just a friend. Oh, no one, Mum. We’ll talk about it later. Later. Muuuuum. I know. Thank you. All right, I love you, too. Yes, tomorrow. I promise! Bye.”
One deep breath, and then…
“Hello?”
“That was quick.”
“Yeah, well,” Alexander said, not exactly keen on bringing up his mother. “So you--”
“Was that Elijah?” Curiosity had gotten the better of Daniel, and he had to ask. He needed to know exactly what he was getting himself into.
“Elijah?” Alexander asked dumbly, and then a thought struck him. Was Daniel jealous? “No, wasn’t Elijah,” Alexander said. Daniel made a small noise in the back of his throat. “Elijah is…”
“Elijah?” Daniel asked.
Alexander huffed indignantly. “Stop taking words out of my mouth,” he said, finding himself smiling, though quite accidentally, mind you.
“But you’re so quotable,” Daniel said. “So… Elijah?”
“He’s a work colleague. My boss actually,” Alexander said. He found himself enjoying their banter, but in truth, the older man distracted him from his real intentions; to put Daniel off him. “Anything else in particular you wanted to know?”
“He answered your phone last night,” Daniel said. He was attempting to step around the topic carefully as he didn’t wish to offend Alexander.
�
�Oh, he just sleeps over,” Alexander said offhandedly, not quite thinking. Once his brain caught up with his mouth he was back to flushing and babbling. “But not like that, I mean. We’re friends, and… it’s complicated. And he’s exceptionally not gay, Daniel.”
“Alright, alright,” Daniel said, amused. “As long as he’s exceptionally not gay, I think I can manage.”
“You must think I’m a complete dolt,” Alexander murmured. He rested his head against the couch back and sighed.
“Nah. I think you’re exceptional.”
“Listen,” Alexander said. His voice was quiet, nearly muffled by a sofa cushion. He swallowed hard. “About Friday…”
“Yes?” Daniel’s voice lowered a notch to a satisfying rumble that had Alexander’s breath picking up in response.
“I don’t think I…” Alexander stopped and bit at his lip. This was impossible, how was he supposed to say no? “I don’t think I have anything to wear.”
Daniel laughed then, stretching his legs out on the soft cushions of his couch. For a moment he’d thought Alexander had changed his mind. “I don’t think you have to worry too much about that.”
“Maybe,” Alexander said softly in reply.
Silence endured between them for a few long moments, silence that had Alexander squirming. Now would be the perfect time to explain everything to Daniel, now when Daniel wasn’t leading the conversation. But of course Alexander couldn’t, he was still trying to control his breathing.
“Tell me something about yourself, Alexander,” Daniel said, and Alexander’s moment was lost. “Tell me something you wouldn’t dream of saying to someone you’d just met.”
Alexander sat up, the phone pressing harshly into his cheek, and he gulped. “Okay,” he found himself answering. “Let me think.”
“No,” Daniel corrected, tapping his forefinger against the receiver. “Don’t think, that’s missing the point. If you think it over, then you won’t tell me. Tricky, huh?”
But Alexander was already thinking it over, knowing exactly what he wasn’t going to tell Daniel.
‘Just tell him, get it over with. End this,’ Alexander thought, looking down at his wrapped feet, flexing his toes slightly. “Okay,” he repeated. “I lived at home until I was twenty, with my mother.”
“That’s not uncommon,” Daniel said, shifting his feet under his thighs.
“Maybe. But I only stayed so long because I was scared to be out on my own,” Alexander said. “That’s the part I wouldn’t have told you if we were being sensible.”
“Well, let me tell you something in return. Would you like that?”
“Sure,” Alexander said. He blushed and could feel sweat breaking out on his palms. Alexander knew it wasn’t a good sign, he knew his broken skin would become irritated by the perspiration.
In more than one way, Daniel wasn’t good for him. But Alexander didn’t hang up the phone or dissuade Daniel from the intimate conversation they shared. He sat there, legs pulled up close, and listened.
“I’m usually very sensible,” Daniel confided. “Overly, really. Maybe I wasn’t when I was younger, but who is? I’d go as far to say that as of late, I’ve been a stick in the mud.”
“I don’t believe that,” Alexander replied, shifting the phone.
“Well, it’s true. But not lately.”
“Oh?”
“Hasn’t been true since I met you,” Daniel said, very quietly, and Alexander had to fight back a shiver.
“I’m… sorry?” Alexander croaked out. His voice was unstable, unease mixing with the little bit of pleasure starting to coil in his belly.
Daniel chuckled over the line. “You’re forgiven.”
A few beats of silence passed between them, and then Daniel spoke again. “I work, well, I own a restaurant in Park Place.”
“That’s interesting.”
Daniel made a soft noise in his throat, and Alexander could hear him walking, shoes against hard wood.
“Alexander,” Daniel said. “Do I make you nervous?”
“No, of course you don’t,” Alexander responded immediately. “I just don’t know you all that well.”
“I can almost hear you squirming.”
Alexander squirmed.
“I’m… not the best on the phone,” Alexander explained. ‘And you scare the living fuck out of me. Nervous doesn’t begin to cover it,’ he thought, frowning hard. “I like to look at someone when I’m talking to them, and I’m worried I’ll run out things to say by Friday… fuck, Friday’s tomorrow?”
“Well, generally, yes,” Daniel said. He couldn’t keep the gravelly texture from his voice. “If you do run out of things to say, then we’ll just have to look at each other.”
“Oh….” Alexander gulped, his breath hitching audibly.
“Don’t worry,” Daniel said, holding back a small laugh. “We haven’t even gotten into my loveless marriage yet— there will be loads to talk about.”
“Oh, okay,” Alexander replied. “Marriage? I thought…”
“Alexander,” Daniel laughed. “Alexander.”
“Daniel,” Alexander countered.
“No loveless marriage, I promise,” Daniel said, laughter bordering on a giggle. “I think I’ll let you go now, let you rest up for the torment that will be a few straight hours with me tomorrow evening. Straight? What am I saying…”
Alexander laughed without thought, felt the chuckle rumble low and warm in his belly. “All right,” he said, a slight smile sneaking across his lips. “I… look forward to it.”
And it only bothered Alexander because it was the truth.
“Masochist,” Daniel huffed, and Alexander smiled wider.
“You keep saying that, maybe it’s true.”
“I’ll pick you up at six,” Daniel said, jotting down the address Alexander gave. Daniel made a noise of satisfaction as he finished scrawling down the address, and then murmured lowly, “Sweet dreams, Alexander.”
Alexander scooted down deeper into the couch cushions. “Thank you too. I mean, thank you and you too.” Alexander’s faced heated up for the thousandth time that night, but he didn’t mind, and Daniel hummed affectionately in response. “Goodnight.”
“Goodnight.”
Alexander clicked off the phone and closed his eyes, his body going slack. “Oh, please don’t be a fool tomorrow. This could be so good for me… if I let it.”
His eyes slipped open and he stared down at his hands folded across his belly. A sudden bolt of frustration seared through his pleasant mood and he felt like curling up into a ball.
“I…just…”
He squeezed his hands together hard, wincing against the pain, head jerking back. His jaw clenched tight, but he did not cry out.
Chapter Five
back to top
“But you’ve got to promise not to tell Elizabeth,” Alexander said, as Elijah tugged him back behind a large shelf of books. “And I mean really this time, unlike last time when I was just saying it for my health.”