by Lisa Olsen
“I highly doubt it,” she sniffed.
“What makes you say that?”
“Because Ellri are extremely rare. Don’t you know anything?”
I knew enough to know I shouldn’t keep arguing with her. What would be the point? She was obviously feeling grumpycakes and taking it out on me. “I’m glad they’re getting some rest,” I said, more to change the subject than anything else.
“I’m hungry,” Carys whined like a five year old at bedtime.
“No, you’re not. You ate last night,” Bishop reminded her. “You’re bored, that’s not the same thing at all.” He was a much better man than me. I probably would’ve stabbed her with another chopstick if I had to spend any more time with her than was strictly necessary. What did he see in her?
“Of course I’m bored. There’s nothing to do in this primitive cottage.” Her head lolled back, blonde hair nearly touching the floor as she stared up at the ceiling. “I don’t see why we have to remain here, I dislike the country. The city is so much more diverting, don’t you think?”
Bishop fixed her with a patient look. “We’re not here to entertain you, we’re here to help Jakob. Once that’s done, we can leave.”
And then I probably wouldn’t see him again for a while. Whatever friendship we’d had before would probably have to be put on hold as long as Rob felt jealous toward Bishop. “Where are you going? Rob says we’re from San Francisco, but I don’t remember it.”
“I don’t know,” Bishop answered with a long breath. “I didn’t find anything in the house that tells me where I’ve been living.”
“Let’s go to London, or better yet, to Paris!” Carys declared. “I do so prefer being among civilized, cultured people.”
“I’m with you, sweeting,” Aubrey grinned up at her. “Say the word and we’ll go.”
“You’ll stay here where your needed, or I’ll find something to chain you to again,” Bishop muttered, and Aubrey sulked. Carys started in again about not owing Jakob anything, and I got out of there. It was all starting to give me a headache, and I doubted any of them noticed when I slipped out.
I found the study empty, and sat by the fireplace to try and light a fire. Maybe I’d been a Girl Scout in the past, because it didn’t take long for the fire to catch, and I smiled in satisfaction. I know I didn’t feel the cold like humans did, but the heat from the fire still felt nice on my skin. I pulled a lap blanket and a couple of pillows from one of the chairs and settled in on the ground to watch the flames lick up the sides of the crackling wood.
I wasn’t particularly thinking about much of anything, just letting my mind wander, so Bishop really got the jump on me when I noticed him standing next to hearth.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to barge in,” he said, his hands coming up, uncertainty written all over his face.
“No, you’re fine,” I smiled. “I was just taking a break from all the drama.”
“Same,” he said with a wince that I knew had to be Carys based.
“Well, grab a lap blanket and join me by the fire.” I waved him over, and he sank onto the floor beside me.
We sat in silence for a few minutes, before he asked, “Rob still asleep?”
“Yep. He must be younger than the rest of us.”
“I have to say, I don’t see the two of you together.”
“I must’ve loved him enough to marry him at some point.” Beyond that, I couldn’t say how we’d ended up down that road together. Sure, Rob was a sexy man, but what did we have in common? I had no idea.
“But you don’t now?”
A denial leapt to my lips, but Bishop’s expression was so earnest, and I felt so comfortable with him, I couldn’t help the admission that popped out. “I don’t know what I’m feeling now. It’s kind of hard with all those memories missing. And the ones I do get are sort of confusing. I’m remembered some good things, but problems too. And without any context… I just… It’s all kind of jumbled, you know?”
“Yeah, I think I can understand how you feel,” he replied, his gaze trained on the fire.
“Why are you with someone like Carys?” I asked after the silence stretched on for a while.
“I must’ve had a good reason at some point,” he replied, echoing my words. “I just can’t remember what it is. Maybe she’s going through a bad time right now and this isn’t her usual behavior? Maybe she’s kind to animals? Maybe it has something to do with being poisoned by Jakob’s blood, or…
“Or maybe you’re really seeing her for the first time?” I said gently, not liking how hard he had to dig to try and justify being with her. He deserved so much better. “She seems like the type to play games.”
“You’re not though, are you?”
“Bite your tongue, I love games,” I laughed, deliberately lightening the mood. “Monopoly, Yahtzee, Apples to Apples.”
It worked, and Bishop laughed back, his eyes crinkling with warmth before he sobered. “Do you mind if I show you something?”
“Will I need a shot of cocoa before I see it?” I quipped, but he shook his head.
“No, it’s not like that.” Bishop drew out his phone, pulling up the photo gallery, shifting closer so I could see the screen.
At first I thought it was a picture of Carys on the steps of St. Peter’s Basilica, but as I zoomed in, I realized it wasn’t her at all. “Hey, it’s me,” I grinned. “We took a trip to Rome together, huh? Is Carys there too?”
“You’re the only one in here. There’s not a single shot of Carys or anyone else. Just you.”
“What do you mean they’re all of me?” I reached out to swipe to the next picture, and he was right. Page after page of them, all pictures of me. Standing among the ruins of an ancient Greek temple, on a starry night with Stonehenge in the background beneath a huge orange moon, feeding a monkey an ice cream cone on a terrace surrounded by lush jungle, in front of gorgeous rolling hills with a river below.
“I don’t know what to say,” I admitted, scrolling through a past with him I couldn’t remember. “We used to be together, but I’m married to Rob now. You know that.”
“I know. I just can’t help but think of how I felt when I was with you.” Holy Hannah, the way he looked at me – it made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside in a way that had nothing to do with the fire. It made me feel things I shouldn’t. “Do you really not remember what it was like between us at all?”
We stood in the rain, the moon all but obscured in velvety darkness. “Do you want there to be a you and me?”
Bishop pressed closer, his fingers brushing the hair out of my eyes. “More than I’ve ever wanted anything,” he rumbled.
“Then kiss me. Don’t stop to think about it, don’t plan it. Just…”
His mouth closed over mine, and I felt the kiss all the way down to my toes, the energy between us sparking far more than a simple press of lips should have. He shouldn’t have been able to do that, make me any wetter than I was from the rain, but as his tongue slid against mine, my entire body submitted to him, craving more than that single touch. My hands slid up the front of his chest to curve around the back of his neck, drawing him closer.
Bishop responded with a shift of the hips, pinning me against the car with his hardness. This was what I’d missed, my confident, strong Bishop, taking and giving at the same time, consequences be damned. When he kissed me like that, it brought back the memory of every way he’d made my body sing with pleasure, and my body remembered too, offering itself up to him shamelessly, forgetting where we were.
He drank from my lips like a man dying of thirst, desperate to make up for lost time. I felt it too – the need to heal the rift between us with a connection that nothing or no one could ever destroy again. “Let’s get out of here,” he hummed over my skin, and I swallowed hard.
I sucked in a breath, caught up in the memory and the reality of the man himself, scant inches away from me, that same passion in his smoldering gaze. “I remember,” I murmured, inching forward,
I’m not sure I was even aware I was doing it. It was like I was being pulled by a magnetic force. All it would take was a few more inches and I would taste those lips again, and feel…
Frak, what the hell was I doing? “I’m sorry,” I squeaked, pulling away. “I can’t…”
Bishop caught hold of my arms, not letting me get away. “I know you felt something just then. I felt it too.”
“Something I have no business feeling for a man who’s not my husband,” I whispered back, too afraid to say it out loud.
“You don’t even love him. You just said so.”
“I don’t know that for sure, I said I was confused.” Even more so now.
His hold on me softened, one hand reaching up to cup the side of my face. “What are you feeling right now?”
So many things. “Confused as hell. I feel like Sabrina, only I don’t know which of you is Linus and which is David.”
Bishop stared at me helplessly. “I’m sorry, I don’t get that reference.”
“That’s okay. I doubt Rob would either, Sabrina is strictly a chick flick. It’s funny what we remember, isn’t it?”
“I’m not laughing,” he said, gazing deep into my eyes. “Anja, I want to be with you. I want a chance to feel that way again, the way I was with you.”
I pressed my forehead against his, wanting so badly to kiss him, it made my heart ache inside. My lips parted, the air tingling between us as I fought to be the person I knew I should be.
“I’m sorry,” I breathed, my eyes squinching tightly shut. “I really am.” I pulled back to look at him, hating to see the defeat in his eyes, but I needed him to understand. “Look, I remember what we had, I remember wanting you so badly I thought my heart might explode. As bewitching as the idea is that we can recapture that feeling, it’s only one isolated moment in time, we don’t know what the whole picture is. If we were so great together, then why aren’t we with each other now? There must be a reason why I married Rob.” And stuck by him through the cheating and stims and his temper, though I wasn’t about to say that out loud. “And why you’re with Carys.”
His head tilted to one side in speculation. “Because you seem like the kind of girl who tries to make a bad thing work?”
I raised a single brow at that. “Or because you have masochistic tendencies?”
“Because we’re both boneheaded and stubborn in our own ways?” he suggested, and I had to admit, he wasn’t wrong.
“Either way, I can’t give you what you want. Not while we’re both tied to other people.”
“I’ll walk into that other room and tell Carys it’s finished right now.”
“You totally should,” I nodded. “But not for me, but because she seems like she’s not the right girl for you.”
“I could say the same about Rob.”
“I know, he’s not the right girl for you either,” I teased, and he responded with a thin smile. “It’s just not something I can do right now. There are too many unknowns.”
“It’s okay, I understand.” But he looked as miserable as a hobbit on a juice fast.
I covered his hand with mine and gave it a squeeze. “All I can think is that this will all make sense once we get our memories back.”
To my surprise, he lost the defeated look, brightening. “So let’s do it. Let’s get those memories back.”
“What do you mean?”
“We lost our memories because of magic, right? Then magic is our best way to reverse it.”
Another spell? “I’m not sure that’s such a good idea. We don’t even know if there’s a spell for that in there.”
“Then let’s check it out. There’s no harm in looking, right?”
That was debatable. “And if I remember that I belong with Rob?”
“Then at least we’ll know for sure.”
“I can’t make you any promises, Bishop.”
He squeezed my hand back. “I’m know, I understand. I just wanted to lay things out on the table so we’d know where things stand.”
“Three feet deep in quicksand?” I mustered a half smile, but he didn’t look amused. “Is this going to make our friendship all awkward now?”
“Oh yeah, totally,” he grinned, and the tightness in my chest eased. If we could still smile like that at each other, we’d be okay no matter what. “Come on, let’s go take a look at that book.”
Chapter Twenty-One
“Here, I think this is the spell we’re looking for,” Bishop said, pointing to a spell with the word muna at the top. “That means remember.”
“Really?” I leaned closer to take a look. It was all Greek to me, my Norse was a little rusty. “I don’t think we should mess around with it though, not until Nell wakes up and takes a look at it.”
“I’m not sure I trust Nell at this,” Carys frowned, and I realized she’d been paying attention this whole time, even though it looked like she was wholly absorbed with painting her fingernails a bright red.
“She got the barrier spell down,” I pointed out.
“Yes, but this is toying with our minds. I’d much rather wait and let my memories come back on their own.”
“Suit yourself,” I shrugged, not caring one way or the other if she ever got them back. I was actually a little surprised that Bishop hadn’t taken her aside to break up with her after our last talk, but I supposed I could understand him wanting to restore our memories first. “She does have a point though. This could be dangerous.”
“I’ll go first,” Bishop volunteered, too readily for my tastes.
“Are you sure about this?”
“Why not? My memories are already gone. If they come back, great, if I get reset again, you can fill me in on what I’ve missed.”
“It still seems risky to me.”
“What’s the worst thing that can happen?” he shrugged, and I got a brief flash of memory, the two of us lying in bed together.
“What could possibly go wrong?” I’d asked. Obviously plenty, since we weren’t together anymore.
Rob stumbled into the great room, neatly dressed in his suit, but he looked groggy, not quite awake. “What’s going on?” he asked, joining us at the table.
“We’re going to try the memory spell to try and get our memories back.”
A deep furrow appeared between his brows. “Sounds like a shit idea to me. You don’t want to go mucking around with your mind, anything could happen.”
“That’s exactly what I’ve been saying,” Carys called out, pointing the brush at him.
“And I say it’s a bad idea to keep stumbling around in the dark,” Bishop disagreed. “It could be incredibly dangerous for us once we leave here without knowing what to expect. The sooner we get all of our memories back, the sooner we can safely leave here.”
“Hate to say it, but Bishop’s got a point,” Aubrey chimed in. “There could be any number of dangers out there we could be stumbling in to.”
I nodded in agreement. “Not to mention, it’s sort of hard to step back into our old lives when we don’t know what they are. I mean, Bishop knows he’s a cop, but what do the rest of us do for a living?”
“Fine, do him then.” Rob pointed to Aubrey.
I expected the guy to weasel his way out of it, bravery didn’t seem like his strongpoint, but he surprised me. “I accept,” Aubrey agreed without argument.
“Grand.” Rob eased somewhat. “Now we just have to wait for the witch.”
Nelleke joined us less than an hour later, looking refreshed, her cheeks ruddy with good health. Bishop laid out the plan for trying the memory spell while she was in the kitchen, making something to eat.
“You read my mind,” she beamed as soon as she understood what we wanted to do. “I have been working on this memory spell before I find my bed. I am thinking it will be smarter to have my memories before I am trying the lifeforce spell. This way, there will be no mistakes this time.”
“You want to try the spell on yourself?” I asked. “Do you think it’s safe e
nough for all of us to do at the same time?”
“We agreed Aubrey would try it out first,” Rob said in a tone that brooked no argument, and I decided to let him win this one. If it worked, I’d do it next, and if it didn’t, then I’d wait for my memories to come back naturally.
“I think it is much safe, but I do not mind the first guinea pigging,” Nelleke volunteered.
Bishop clapped his hands together. “Great, then what do you need to make the spell happen?”
It took a little longer to assemble the items she needed for this spell, but we found everything after a brief trip into town. Jakob came along this time, discreetly feeding from the cashier of the same general store that Bishop had visited before. I managed a quick trip to the bakery to make sure that Andy was alive and well. There was no sign of him at that early evening hour, but neither was there a black mood around the bakery as I might’ve expected if one of their employees had died. I grabbed a scone for Rob, and we headed back to the house so Nell could make her preparations.
When the time came, Nelleke led Aubrey to a cleared space in the main living area where a large circle had been drawn on the ground in salt. They both held what looked like a glass Christmas tree ornament filled with silver shavings. “Take this and step into the circle.” She joined him there, and took a deep breath. “When I am reciting the spell, hold the witch’s ball in front of you. It is going to get hot, but try to hang on to it, yes?” Nell paused to make sure he understood her. “When I am giving the word, smash it onto the ground hard enough for it to break.”
“That’s it?” Aubrey said, looking at the ornament dubiously. “I don’t have to say anything?”
“No, I am doing all the speaking. You are ready?”
“As I’ll ever be,” he murmured, but shot Carys a confident wink. “See you on the other side, sweeting.”
“Be careful,” Carys called out to him, and I half expected her to wave a handkerchief at him like he was leaving on a train or something.
And then it began, Nelleke chanting unintelligibly in that old language that I understood even less when spoken. I wasn’t sure if anything was happening, it just looked like the pair of them standing in the center of the circle, no sparks or tingles or anything. The only change I saw was the grimace of pain on Aubrey’s face, and that Nelleke held the globe with her fingertips, as though it’d grown unbearably hot.