Silent Love

by Kenadee Bryant

  When the time came for Mr. Waite to call on people to hear what they thought of the story, I shrunk in my chair. I did not want to be called on. Yeah, I had my own opinion on the story, but I just didn’t want to share it out loud. Over the years I had gotten slightly better at speaking in front of people, but that was when I had my family or Macey and Ethan there to look at. Here I had no one; no one to give me a nod or a smile encouraging me to talk.

  As more and more people raised their hands or got called on, the more I hoped I wouldn’t be picked. I mean, everyone so far had basically said the same thing but in different words, so the professor shouldn’t want to listen to everyone’s answer. Next to me, Gage looked straight ahead, bored, as if he didn’t find any of this fascinating or at least useful. I kept peeking at him from the corner of my eye, but made sure to look away quickly so he wouldn’t know I was doing it.

  “How about you, Ms. Miller? What did you think about Young Goodman Brown?” The dreaded words echoed around me. Damn it! I guess luck was not on my side today. I quickly glanced around to see if anyone was looking at me, but thankfully no one was. Well, no one but Gage. Gage waited for my answer. It seemed he even sat up straighter and turned to hear me better.

  I gulped nervously. Having him watching my every move was more terrifying than if everyone in the room was doing so. It seemed he could tell how nervous I was. He cocked his head to the side, almost sending me a questioning look. I gave a slight shake of my head that was practically unnoticeable, but I knew he saw it. I thought he would do something to make fun of me or just ignore me, but instead he gave me a nod. It was a small gesture, but I saw it. It was the nod Luke, Ethan, or Macey gave me if I had to talk. The nod that meant they knew I could do this, that they would there to silently cheer me on. Swallowing, I looked back at the front seeing Mr. Waite waiting patiently for me to talk.

  “I, um…I thought the story was interesting.” Mr. Waite nodded for me to continue. My tongue darted out of my mouth to wet my lip. “Well, from the title I thought it was going to be a happy, simple story but it isn’t. It is about evil and innocence being lost. The main character believed that everyone in his town was good, following the path they should be, but instead he learns differently. His eyes are opened to how evil everyone is, even his own wife who he thought was innocent. From the moment he sees that, he can’t turn back. He leads his life differently than he did at first, and in the end, it kind of destroys him. He doesn’t know what to believe anymore.”

  I couldn’t read what the teacher was thinking, and it almost seemed like he wasn’t impressed at all. My heart sunk just a little bit at that thought. I said something different than everyone else, hadn’t I? I started to question my answer.

  “Ms. Miller, you definitely understood the meaning of the story. You noticed how the man changed from the beginning to end. Well done,” Mr. Waite finally said, giving me a nod. I forced myself not to let my jaw drop open.

  “T-thank you, sir,” I said dumbly. He moved onto the next person, leaving me sitting there smiling. That wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. I looked over to Gage who was still staring at me. His brown eyes captured mine and held me still for a moment. When he glanced away, I was freed. Knowing I had to thank him, I waited for him to look back. I got my wish a second later. I mouthed a “thank you” and sent him a small smile. All he did was nod in return. It wasn’t much, but I was going to take it.

  The rest of class I sat there silently clapping myself on the back for speaking in front of a large group of people. I also felt kind of giddy that Gage helped me. Sure, it wasn’t a big thing, but it still helped. More than I thought. And maybe I didn’t get a reaction out of him by my thanks, but a nod was fine with me.

  I was wrong when thinking the teacher wouldn’t call on everyone; he did. Gage was the last person he got to, and both the professor and I were surprised by him. He told his opinion and thoughts on the story, and I found myself doing the same thing I had with the teacher earlier: my body turned in his direction and my eyes stayed glued to his face, as did every girls’.

  I guess I never really thought of Gage caring about class, but he did. He was actually really smart. His thoughts and opinions went deep into the story about things I hadn’t even thought of. When I glanced at the teacher’s face, I could tell he was surprised about it as well. Gage didn’t even seem fazed from the girls staring as he talked; in fact, he seemed like he didn’t even know they were staring. But I could tell he was aware because the side of his mouth was tilted up in almost a smirk. He sure did love attention.

  When the bell rang, I quickly wrote down our next assignment before putting it all in my bag. By the time I had done so, half the class was gone. What surprised me as I was standing up to leave was Gage barely getting up as well. I figured he would be long gone by now. He walked ahead of me down the hallway toward the door. Practically running to meet his large strides, I came to trot beside him.

  “Thank you for earlier,” I said. I almost expected him to jump or look over at me when I caught up with him, but it was like he knew I was following him, or he didn’t get scared easily. “I mean it, thank you,” I said sincerely.

  I guess stage fright was a big deal to me, but not to my brother of course. I mean, I didn’t have it as bad as some people, but I hated it. Gage didn’t, and wouldn’t know how much it actually meant for him to give me that nod. It might seem like it was something simple, almost nothing, but to me it wasn’t.

  “It’s no big deal,” he finally answered, adjusting the binder and textbook in his hands.

  “Well to me it is. I get really nervous and scared when talking in front of a crowd. If it was maybe half the class then I would be fine, but I’m not good at talking in front of a group that big normally.” I waved my hands in the air. I had the tendency to use my hands a lot when I talked.

  “Nice to know,” Gage said, but his tone was flat and bored. I just rolled my eyes at him.

  “Come on, you can’t hate me. I know you like me, deep inside.”

  “No, I don’t. In fact, I think you are like a cockroach: you never die or leave.”

  “I hate cockroaches.”

  “And I care why?”

  “Because you like me. Deep down, deep deep deep down in your soul.” I poked his arm.

  “Can you just leave me alone for a fucking second? Seriously you are annoying,” he bit out at me.

  “I—” I started but stopped when he whirled around to face me. I froze, taking in his angry expression. What got his panties in a twist so suddenly?

  “You need to get it through your head that I don’t like you. I don’t want to be friends with you either. Just because I helped you out the other night does not mean you can follow me around like a lovesick puppy. I wouldn’t have even helped you if I had known this is what you would be like.” He glared down at me. I was slightly scared, but I still stood my ground.

  “Also the other night at the fight is nothing. Dylan likes to pick up stray dogs and help them out, but that doesn’t mean I have to. We are not friends, nor are we buddies. Leave me alone and I’ll leave you alone. Got it?”

  “Did you refer to me as a dog as in I’m a bitch?” I asked.

  “If the shoe fits.” I narrowed my eyes back at him.

  “Why are you such an ass, anyways? I was just thanking you again and all you can do is be rude to me. If you don’t want me near you, just say it.”

  “I. Do. Not. Want. You. Near. Me. Do. You. Fucking. Understand?” he said slowly, as if I were stupid.

  “Here I thought I could try and be friends with you!” I poked his chest with my finger. “Guess I was wrong.”

  “You were because I do not want to be friends with you or even near you.” Without even waiting for a reply, Gage turned and stalked away from me. I stared after him, angry and confused. A sense of déjà vu washed over me. It was just like last time we got out of English class.

  I clenched my jaw and headed back to my dorm silently cursing at
Gage. Why did he have to be so damn rude? Was a girl not allowed to say thank you anymore? I gave up any idea of trying to be friends with Gage. He was definitely no good.

  Chapter Ten

  The rest of Thursday and Friday went by quickly. I didn’t do much, other than some homework and hang out at home. Macey and I stayed in catching up on shows as well as getting ahead on homework. It was now Saturday morning and the two of us were heading toward 95 Degrees to get some coffee and something to eat. In a few hours we were to head to my house for a barbecue. Even though we did see my parents just the other day, my mom and Macey’s had planned this barbecue weeks ago, so we were expected to be there. Not that we really minded a home-cooked meal and something to do.

  Usually more people would be attending the barbecue, but with everyone busy with work and kids, it would only be Macey’s family alongside mine. I expected the same thing to happen like always: my dad and Macey’s, Nick, would man the grill while they talked about work or sports; my mom and Aunt Kacey would be in the kitchen making other food and gabbing; Luke and Ethan would throw a football around or swim in the pool while talking about girls they had and would hook up with; and Mace and I would either help our moms or sit around talking with the boys.

  “So you haven’t seen Gage since Thursday?” Macey questioned, sipping her coffee.

  “I have been with you this entire time. You think I could have gone anywhere else?” I sent her a look. Macey might be smart in some areas, but in others, I worried about her.

  “Hey, less attitude, okay?” I rolled my eyes at her, blowing on my hot coffee. “But still I can’t believe he was rude to you. He seemed somewhat nice the other night,” she mused.

  “He switches moods like a hormonal teenager.”

  “Maybe he is going through some stuff,” Mace suggested.

  “Well, whatever it is, he shouldn’t have taken it out on me. But it is fine if he doesn’t want me around him. I won’t be. I plan on ignoring him from now on,” I stated.

  “I don’t see that happening.” She snorted. I snapped my head toward her.

  “What do you mean by that?”

  “You two clearly have some kind of chemistry, and don’t get me started on the sexual tension between you two.” She bit into her muffin, looking at me.

  “We do not!” Gage and I did not have any kind of chemistry or sexual tension. The only thing we had was hatred for each other.

  “Oh yes you do. You can deny it, but I was there when we were at Gage’s fight. Maybe you couldn’t tell, but I could.”

  I wanted to argue with her about it, but I knew it would be a waste of breath. Once Macey got something in her head, she stayed with it, even if it was a lie or never happened. Yes, at times she was right about things, but not all the time, and right now she was wrong.

  “You know they say when a guy picks on a girl, he really likes her.” She grinned over at me.

  “Mace, stop. Gage doesn’t like me, and I don’t like him either. In fact right now I could punch his face in.”

  “In denial.”

  “No, I am not. I have no feelings toward Gage and never will. I have been in love with Ethan forever and that isn’t going to change.” I gave her a pointed look to drop the subject. At my heated stare, she put her hands up in surrender.

  “Okay, fine, I’ll drop it.”

  “Thank you.” We sat in silence for a few minutes before Macey started talking again. Yeah, neither of us could take silence for long.

  “You know, that guy Dylan was cute and nice,” she mused.

  “Yeah, I think he will become a great friend.” I looked her and sat up straighter. “Don’t you go thinking of dating him or something,” I warned.

  “Why not? He’s cute and he’s like a bad boy.”

  “Because if it doesn’t work out it will get all awkward then we have to stop being friends with him.”

  “Come on, Car, that wouldn’t happen.” She waved me off.

  “Oh really? Jason Lee, Winston Parker,” I listed. She glared over at me.

  “Fine. I get your point.”

  “Please keep it in your pants.” I sent her a pleading look.

  “Okay, okay, I will! Gosh, Mom.” I smiled at her before digging into my own blueberry muffin. I could see Macey shaking her head at me, but knew she wouldn’t go back on her word, for which I was glad.

  The next twenty minutes or so we sat there quietly sipping our coffees, eating our breakfast, and scrolling through our news feeds. Neither of us felt the need to break the silence, and for a moment were fine with it. The little café had people flowing in and out of it regularly. This was definitely the “it” spot on campus and I could see why. The coffee was great, and so was the food. The only thing that this place needed was a bookstore.

  One thing I had yet to see was the university’s library. I knew it was large and held practically any book imaginable. I saw it briefly during I took a tour in high school, when I was trying to find one school I wanted to attend. My stupid tour guide only had us peek into the library before leading us somewhere “better.” His words, not mine. That one peek I did have of the library remained stuck in my head. It was almost like the one from Beauty and the Beast. My dream!

  I planned on going tomorrow morning and spending the entire afternoon there. Macey knew of my plans and made no attempt to stop me. She knew if she did, she would lose a chunk of her pretty hair. No one got in the way of me and my books. I already knew I would be spending a lot of my time there. I didn’t know of a bookstore close enough to campus, so the library was going to be my go-to thing, along with the café of course.

  “So are we riding with Luke and Ethan or taking our own cars?” Macey asked as we headed back home to get ready.

  “Let me call Luke and see. We will probably all just take his car,” I replied, pulling out my phone and hitting Luke’s number. It felt like an eternity before he finally answered.

  “Yes?” he asked, his voice thick with sleep.

  “Good to know you’re awake,” I said sarcastically. “I’m calling to ask if we should all take one car or go separately?”

  “For what?”

  “The family barbecue in a few hours.” I knew he forgot by the sound of cursing and a loud grunt like he had fallen out of bed.

  “Shit. That’s today?”

  “Yeah, in like two hours.” Macey and I shared a look. We both knew the two boys had completely forgotten about it. Without us they wouldn’t know what to do.

  “Shit, shit, shit,” Luke muttered through the phone.

  “If you have to, go to the bathroom first.”

  “Ha ha, you are so funny, Carter,” he said, and I could hear him opening a door. A second later he yelled Ethan’s name to get him up. I pulled the phone away from my ear quickly, not wanting to lose my hearing so young.

  “Gosh, Luke, don’t scream into the phone.”

  “Sorry. Let’s take my car to Mom and Dad’s. Want to meet in about an hour and a half?” he suggested.

  “Sure, that sounds good. Will you be ready by then?”

  “Of course. Have you forgotten that Ethan and I are guys? We can get dressed in like five minutes.” I rolled my eyes. After I said goodbye to my brother and promised to meet him at his Jeep in an hour or so, Mace and I continued to our dorm.

  ***

  “And they say girls take forever to get ready,” Macey muttered, leaning against Luke’s cherry-red Jeep. She crossed her arms and glared in the direction of their place. We agreed to be here almost fifteen minutes ago, but Luke and Ethan were nowhere to be seen. Now we were stuck standing around waiting for them. Takes them five minutes to get ready, my ass.

  I kept checking my phone, waiting for a text from one of them. I let out a huff as I smoothed a hand down my dress. Given that I felt like I should dress up a little, I had put on a cute summery dress. The top part was white with lace quarter-sleeves, and the bottom was a dark, almost navy blue. A simple thin black belt wrapped around my waist. Not w
anting to look like I tried too hard, I just left my brown hair down in its usually wavy style and kept my makeup simple. Macey wanted me to wear a pair of heels, but I refused. Instead I was wearing sandals, although I’d preferred to wear sneakers, but Macey flat out hit me on the head for even thinking of wearing them. Of course I had my trusty camera wrapped around my neck like always.

  Macey had gone the same route: she wore a cute strapless summer dress, and the top part was white like mine, but her skirt was a pretty teal color with flowers on it. It hugged her body and showed off what curves she had. Unlike me, she was wearing a pair of white heels, but they still didn’t make her taller than me. Her short hair was in soft waves around her shoulders, and she had themed her eye makeup to match color of her dress.

  We both looked cute, and on our way to Luke’s Jeep, guys had even stared at us. College guys had no gentlemanly qualities; hell, they would even whistle at girls. That did nothing for the guy, because we girls do not like be whistled at like we are some kind of dog.

  After what felt like a millennium later, I finally noticed the two boys making their way toward us. I pushed off of the front of car once they came to a stop in front of us. I thought about making a comment, but Macey beat me to it.

  “You two idiots left us here waiting for fifteen minutes.” Not even waiting for their response, she went straight up to them and slapped them both on the side of the head. It was pretty funny considering Macey only stood about five-foot-three, and both boys were six-foot-two.

  “Ow!” Luke whined. Both boys rubbed their heads.

  “Come on, we don’t want to be late.” I jumped into the backseat and waited for the other three to follow. As they got in the car, Luke had to keep whining about Macey hitting him.