Fallen Hearts (Casteel Series #3)

by V. C. Andrews

"Because of that they'll believe her," I said. "If every Tom, Dick, and Harry is sleeping with her, why not Logan Stonewall, too? Many of those people are eager and willing to believe bad things about us, either because they are jealous or because they still can't stomach a Casteel being so wealthy and powerful in their hometown."

  "Are you saying we should let Fanny blackmail us?"

  "It might be your child, might it not, anyway?"

  I asked. He closed his eyes and pressed his lips together. "I'll handle Fanny," I said. "She'll be happy once she knows she's going to be taken care of, once she knows she's hurt me deeply."

  "Oh, God, Heaven. I'm so sorry. So sorry," he wailed, pressing his hands to his face. A part of me wanted to comfort him, but a stronger, harder part of me wouldn't let me.

  "Think of an excuse for your sudden return," I said.

  "I don't want Tony to know about this right now." "All right. I'll just tell him I missed you and—"

  I spun around so fast he swallowed the rest of his words.

  "I don't want to hear any of that right now, Logan. I just want to go to sleep and see what I can do in the morning to pick up my self-respect. Do you understand?"

  He nodded, looking so weak and insecure and regretful I was almost unable to continue my hard demeanor.

  "Good," I said and prepared for bed.

  Afterward, he crawled in beside me, taking great care not to touch me. He crumpled up as far away as he could on his side of the bed. When I looked over at him, he did look like a little boy, a little boy who had been naughty and sent to bed without any supper. He would try not to breathe too loud, afraid he might bring on some further chastisement.

  I couldn't help wondering how it would have been, had it been the other way around. What would have been his reaction had I confessed to him about my meeting with Troy and our lovemaking? Would he have forgiven me or hated me? Would he have understood? Would he have forced me to sleep far away from him in the bed and not touched me, not given me any hope of redeeming myself?

  I cried silently that night for all of us, even for Fanny, who was so filled with jealousy and hate that she was willing to destroy herself just to get back at me. I knew that in years to come she would use this new child like a whip, stinging me whenever she could by reminding me whose child it was. My only hope was that it would look so much like Randall Wilcox that the question as to who was the father would be obviously answered. But in my heart I knew it really wouldn't matter anyway. Once I sent that first check to Fanny, she would have her hold over us.

  Oh, well, I thought, rationalizing, at least it would all go to family

  Family. How strange and ugly that word had become. Perhaps that was the saddest thing of all.

  Tony was still in such a daze the next day that he didn't even think much about Logan's sudden return. Logan said he only half listened to anything he told him. In a way it worked out for the better that he had come home, for he accompanied Tony to the Tatterton offices and stores and was able to take over some of the duties Tony was either not able or willing to assume yet.

  Every day for the remainder of the week Logan brought me some gift before dinner. I knew he was trying to win his way back into my heart. He brought me flowers and clothing, candy and jewels. He didn't press hard for my forgiveness. He simply gave me his gifts and waited hopefully for a sign or for a warm word.

  Finally, one night when he came to the suite after spending the day with Tony, he found me crying.

  I let him embrace me and kiss me and stroke my hair.

  I listened to his pleas and his words of love. I let him make eternal promises and beg me for my forgiveness and love. And then I let him kiss me hard on the lips.

  I was afraid myself that we would never make love again, or that when we did, it would be so mechanical and impersonal it would mean nothing.

  But my hunger to be loved and to put aside all the hardship and misery I had experienced was greater than I had realized, and Logan's need to be forgiven was all- consuming. We made love passionately and before it was over, both of us were crying in each other's arms.

  "Oh, Heaven," he said. "I'm so sorry I hurt you, so sorry I gave you any pain. I would run through a hall of fire rather than have done this to you."

  "Just kiss me and love me and never let me out of your mind again," I whispered breathlessly.

  "Never. I'll make you so much a part of me that when you're sick, I'll be sick; when you're tired, be tired. When you laugh, I'll laugh. We'll be like Siamese twins, connected by a love so strong even Cupid will be amazed. I swear it," he said. He kissed me so many times, he made my body tingle and sing.

  He was so grateful for my love and forgiveness, he made me feel like a princess again, bestowing the gift of life and happiness upon him.

  That night we both slept more soundly than either of us had the entire week. In the morning when we went to breakfast, it was as if the pall of mourning had been lifted from the house. Even Tony seemed more alert and eager to begin the day. He and Logan walked about Winnerow again. An old energy and excitement returned. We all decided to leave that afternoon for Winnerow and visit the site. And while we were there, I was going to pay a visit to my sister Fanny

  Logan knew that was what I was setting out to do when I left him and Tony at the site Fanny had a contemporary-styled house that sat high on a hillside, directly across from the mountain where the log cabin was. She had built it with the money she had gotten from Mallory, the elderly man she had married and then divorced. He had been paying her alimony all this time. Her two Great Danes came barking around my car as I drove up. She had to come out to put them into their pen before I would get out of my car. She thought that was very funny.

  "They're good watchdogs," she said. "Neva know who's comin' up here, know what I mean, Heaven?"

  "Just keep them away from me," I scowled.

  They looked scraggly and poorly cared for. Fanny never liked animals. She said she kept them only for protection, but even guard dogs needed some love and affection.

  "Ain't this a pleasant surprise," she said when I finally got out of my car.

  "It's no surprise, Fanny Not to you."

  She threw her head back and laughed.

  "There shouldn't be no hard feelin's betwixt you and me, Heaven. Sistas got ta stick togetha, don't they?"

  "Yes, they do. And sisters don't try to steal husbands, either."

  That made her laugh again.

  "Ya comin' inside or ain't my home good enuf for ya now?"

  Without replying, I walked into her home. She hadn't done much to it since I had been in it last. Her eyes were on me as I looked about.

  "Not too fancy, but comfortable," she said.

  "Maybe now I kin afford ta git some fine, rich things."

  "What happened to your alimony?"

  "Didn'cha hear? Ole Mallory kicked the bucket an' the ingrate left everythin' ta his children. Lot they cared 'bout him, but he was blind ta truth, jus' like most men."

  "I see."

  "I'm not goin' ta offa ya anythin' ta eat or drink.

  Ya probably don't think I'm clean enuf now that ya live in a palace an eat offa silva dishes and outta silva bowls."

  "I'm not here to pay a social call, Fanny. You know that. You know why I'm here." I sat on the couch and looked at her. No matter how I felt about her, I had to admit that Fanny was an attractive woman. She wore her jet-black hair cut stylishly about her neck and her bright blue eyes were more vibrant and sparkling than ever. Her complexion was as rich and as flawless as I had ever seen it. She saw the way I was looking at her and put her hands on her hips.

  Her pregnancy didn't show yet, so she still had a perfect hourglass figure.

  "They tell me pregnancy makes a woman look healthy," she said. "What d'ya think?"

  "You look fine, Fanny. I suppose you're seeing a doctor."

  "Ya suppose right. I'm seein' the fanciest, most expensive docta I kin. This baby's gettin' only the best. I already told him wher
e ta send the bills.

  "So." She smiled and sat across from me. "I take it ya had yer little talk wit' Logan."

  "I'm not here to argue with you, Fanny. What happened, happened. There's no way we can be sure this early that the baby is indeed Logan's, but—"

  "Fancy talkin', aren't ya? No way ya kin be sure. Suppose ta mean I sleep around wit' jus' anyone, huh? Well, I don't care how fancy ya kin talk now, ya can't talk yer way out of the truth. I haven't seen Randall for nearly a month a Sundays an' I haven't been wit' any man other than Logan. Doctor's kin tell when a baby's been made, Heaven. An' Logan Stonewall made this one," she said, jabbing her stomach. I winced.

  I had come here hoping to be tough and determined, to present her with an offer and leave with some dignity, but as usual, Fanny was beyond being embarrassed or frightened. Her eyes burned back at me with stubborn, arrogant pleasure.

  "I don't propose we go through any test to see what is true and what isn't, Fanny. It would only hurt everyone."

  "Ya don't propose . . ." She sat back, smiling like a mad wildcat. "Well, what do ya propose, Heaven Leigh?" Her black eyes narrowed until the whites were only glimmers between her heavily lashed lids.

  "Naturally, we'll take care of all the medical bills."

  "Naturally. And?"

  "And provide a sum to support the child and its needs . .

  "And its needs includes me," she said. "I ain't a pin cushion ta prick and poke and forget about, ya know. I mean ta be treated like a woman with class, jus' like you," she said, putting her fists on her hips and spreading her legs. "Who do ya think ya are, anyway, comin' in here and offerin' jus' ta take care of the baby's needs? Yer husband comes ta me becuz ya ain't there when he needs love and tenderness and now there's hell ta pay. I gotta live with the child, don't I? gotta be tied down, don't I? I ain't gonna be able ta go around lookin' for a new man."

  "Fanny," I said, smiling at her, "are you sure you want to keep this child?"

  "Oh, I see what yer gettin' at. Think ya kin come in here and make me a single, one-time offa, huh? Get the baby and pretend it's yers, maybe, huh?

  An' then I'd have no claims ta anythin' more, right?

  Smart . . . only I ain't dumb no more, not dumb as I was when the Reverend took my Darcy."

  "But you just said yourself how difficult it's going to be for you to have a child, and you're right. It will restrict you."

  She smiled, and when Fanny smiled, even a

  wicked, hateful smile, her white teeth flashed brilliantly in contrast to her Indian coloring.

  "I'll take that chance," she said.

  "But what kind of a mother will you be for this child?" I asked, taking the most reasonable tone I could, even though it took great effort to control my anger.

  Her dark eyes narrowed again.

  "Now, don'cha go and start that stuff again, Heaven Leigh. It was an excuse ya had when ya couldn't get my Darcy back from Reverend Wise."

  "It's not an excuse, Fanny," I said, still speaking softly. She sat back and studied me. Then she shook her head.

  "Ya jus' like Pa, ain'cha? Ready ta buy and sell children, do anythin' that'll make things easier for ya."

  "That's not it, not it at all," I said. How could she suggest such a thing? I wasn't looking out for myself, I was worried about what she would do to a child.

  "Sure it is. Ya'll pay me a sum for the child and then go and give it away, won'tcha? Won'tcha?" she demanded.

  "No. That wasn't my intent."

  "Well, I don' care what ya intent was. The answer is no. I'm keepin' the baby and Logan and ya are payin' me ta keep it well. It'll be as good as any of yer kids'll be and it'll go ta the finest schools and wear the finest clothes, ya understand me, Heaven?"

  "I see," I said. "So what do you propose?" I asked. The question, demanding something specific from her, took her off guard. She just blinked at me a moment. "How much do you think we should send you a month, Fanny?"

  "I don' know. I suppose . . . fifteen hundred.

  No, two thousand."

  "Two thousand dollars a month?"

  She studied me to see if I was happy or sad about the amount, but I kept my face expressionless.

  "Well, ole Mallory was sendin' me fifteen hundred, but that was me without a child. Better make it twenty-five hundred," she said. "I want it on the first of the month, promptly. Shouldn't be no hardship for ya, Heaven. Not with ya all buildin' this big factory here in Winnerow and all."

  I stood up abruptly.

  "You'll get your twenty-five hundred a month promptly, Fanny. An account will be set up for you and the child in the Winnerow bank, but I'm warning you now, if you ever, ever try to blackmail us further by threatening to tell the people of Winnerow stories about you and Logan. . . cut off every penny and let you fend for yourself.

  "And I don't want you talking to Logan or trying to see him or contacting him in any way. If you have any problems, you'll call me directly, understand?"

  She stared up at me, her dark eyes brilliant, fired by hate and jealousy. Then her expression became a pained one. No one could discard one emotion and replace it with another as quickly as Fanny could.

  "I'm so disappointed in ya, Heaven. I woulda thought ya'd feel sorry for me. I was the one taken advantage of, ya know. That's all men kin do is take advantage.

  "Ya come ta my house, where I live all alone, jus' wit' two dumb guard dogs, come from ya place where ya got all those servants an' some family and a husban' an' all those fancy things, an' what do you do, treat me like some thief, instead of the sista who suffered wit' ya in the Willies. Ya shoulda come here offerin' ta do a whole lot more fer me."

  "Life has not been as sweet for me as you think, Fanny. You're not the only one who has suffered and when I suffered, you were nowhere nearby to do anything for me. I had no one but myself."

  "Ya had Tom. Ya always had Tom. He loved ya and never loved me, never cared fer me one bit. An'

  Keith and Jane don' care fer me, either."

  "You'll get your money," I said. I started for the door. She got up to chase after me.

  "They care fer ya becuz yer rich and fancy.

  Even when ya was poor and had nothin' but rags, ya acted rich and fancy and treated me like some poor relative. Ya neva wanted me fer a sista; ya neva cared fer me!" she screamed.

  I went out the door and hurried toward my car.

  She followed down the sidewalk.

  "Ya always wished ya neva had a sista like me.

  Ya neva wanted ta know me in school or afterward or ever. Heaven!" she yelled.

  I turned to her. We stared at each other for a moment. I couldn't hide the truth. She was right.

  "Truth was ya was jealous of me, Heaven, becuz Pa liked me, Pa held me; Pa kissed me. Right?

  Right?" she demanded. "Cuz yer birthin' killed his Angel and ya can't ever run away from that, Heaven.

  Neva, not by livin' in a palace or by buildin' factories, or nothin',"

  She folded her arms across just under her

  breasts and smiled.

  "I feel sorry for you, Fanny," I said. "You're like a flower planted in manure."

  I turned and got into my car, but it was her laughter that followed me down the driveway and propelled me away as fast as I could go.

  ELEVEN

  Life and Death

  .

  THAT NIGHT I TOLD LOGAN ALL THE

  DETAILS ABOUT my meeting with Fanny and what I had agreed to. He sat at the kitchen table listening, his eyes fixed on a waterglass that he kept turning and turning in his hands. I spoke quickly and pointedly, realizing the discussion was painful for both of us. He didn't disagree with anything or ask any questions.

  When I finished speaking, he sighed deeply and then sat back.

  "Heaven," he said, "I don't want to come down to Winnerow any more without you. I miss you too much. What do you say we buy a house down here.

  Something that will be so grand it will be the talk of the town. I need you wi
th me, Heaven."

  "What's wrong with our cabin?" I asked. "It's always been home to me. Why do we need a house?"

  "Don't you think the owners and managers of what will be the community's bi est enterprise should have their own home, the kind of home where they can entertain important guests, hold dinners and parties? We can keep the cabin as a weekend retreat."

  Then he stood up. "I just think we need a fresh start here, Heaven, for both of us."

  I thought about it. The cabin was tainted by what Fanny had done. Living somewhere else would help put that incident behind us. Besides, I knew that buying a fancy house was something his mother had been pushing for him to do ever since Logan and I were married. No amount of money or power mattered as long as we continued to spend our time in the Willies. Staying in the cabin in the hills, surrounded by the poor people, was degrading in his mother's, and in the other townspeoples', eyes. It made people think I had won him over to my world, rather than him winning me to his.

  Power and money were changing Logan. He

  never went anywhere now without putting on a suit and tie. He bought a very expensive watch and a diamond pinky ring, had his newly grown beard trimmed every other day, and even went for manicures. When I asked him about it, he explained,

  "A man who steps out of a Rolls-Royce has got to look like he belongs in it."

  I knew the real reason for my feelings had to do with what had happened between him and Fanny. I didn't like the idea of his staying in the isolated cabin, which had been the setting of their lovemaking, or whatever Logan chose to call it. And I thought Fanny might have been right when she blamed me for not spending enough time with Logan in Winnerow. If we had our own home there, there would be more reason for me to go along.

  "I suppose you're right," I said. "What did you have in mind, building a house or buying one?"

  "Buying." He sat forward, clasping his hands on the table and smiling like a Cheshire cat.

  "You've already looked into it, haven't you?"

  "Uh-huh." There was an impish dazzle in his blue eyes and his smile widened.

  "Well? What house?"

  "The Hasbrouck House," he announced.