So Many Men...

by Dorie Graham

  “She didn’t just leave you, you know,” Gabe said softly.

  Mason’s gaze locked with his uncle’s.

  “Your mother, she was my sister before she had you. She left us all and it hurt me, too.” He shrugged. “Granted, losing a sister can’t really compare to losing a mother, but I felt that loss as much as you did.”

  Mason stared at his coffee. “I don’t like to talk about her.”

  “It wasn’t you she was leaving. It was your father. You think your Uncle Al’s a hardhead. Where do you think he learned to be so uncompromising? And you don’t think the drinking started after she left?”

  Gabe shook his head. “That had started long before. Hell, I encouraged her to leave him and you would have, too, had you been old enough to understand what was really going on. But, Mason, I swear to God it never occurred to me that she would leave you, too.”

  “That was a long time ago. There’s no point in rehashing it all.”

  “There is if you’re still carrying around that wound.”

  “Uncle Gabe, I know you mean well, but this isn’t necessary. I’m fine. I’m all grown up and I get that bad things happen to good people.”

  “That’s right, son. You’re good people and bad things did happen to you, but you don’t have to keep suffering for it. You’ve paid your dues. It’s time for you to quit being afraid of being hurt and to take that risk and grab it all.”

  Mason stared at his uncle, and he wanted to cringe at the truth in his words. He’d run away from happiness to keep from getting hurt. He met his uncle’s gaze and nodded. “You’re right. It’s time I took a risk.”

  “HI.” TESS NODDED AT MASON as he stood in her doorway. Her pulse quickened in anticipation.

  “Hi.” His eyebrows drew together and apprehension rippled off him. “Thanks for agreeing to see me.”

  “I’m glad you called. I was actually going to call you.”

  “Really? To tell me I’m a pigheaded idiot?”

  “Well, since you already know that…” She shrugged.

  “So, can I come in?”

  “No.”

  “No?”

  She shook her head. “Let’s go out.”

  “Out?”

  “Yep, you know, sky, fresh air.”

  “Right, I think I remember that.” He shuffled aside and let her move past him, then fell into step beside her. “Where is it that we’re going?”

  She smiled what she hoped was a mysterious smile. “It’s a surprise.”

  “And will I like this surprise?”

  “Oh, I certainly hope so.” She pulled her keys from her purse as they neared the parking lot. “We’ll take my car.”

  They reached her car and he held the door for her. She savored his familiar scent as she slid past him into the driver’s seat.

  “Okay,” he said as he settled beside her in the passenger’s seat. “I’m ready.”

  She drove with the windows down, in spite of the slight coolness in the air. “Don’t you like the wind in your hair?” she asked as they turned onto the interstate and picked up speed.

  “Tess, there’s something that I really need to say to you.”

  “No, not yet. I have something to say to you, too, but let’s wait until we get to where we’re going.”

  She turned on the radio and tuned in her favorite rock station. Mason blew out a breath in an apparent effort to relax, if the tension spiking off him was any indication. She glanced at him, grinning as they neared their destination.

  “Oh, no.” He shook his head, even as a hesitant smile curved his lips. “I should have known.”

  “You know you enjoyed it the last time.”

  She parked along a quiet side street, then turned to him, excitement rippling up her spine. “Ready?”

  “I am if you are.”

  A salty breeze hit her as she exited the car. The rumble of the surf sounded from beyond the row of buildings in front of them. Mason crossed to her side and they headed silently along the street to a trail leading to the shore. They picked their way over the sand until the Atlantic lay before them, calmer today than it had been on their last visit.

  His gaze narrowed on her as they reached a spot in the sand not far from the breaking surf. “Are we going for a swim?”

  “In all our clothes?”

  “Didn’t stop us last time.”

  “It’s early November. Could be chilly. Do you want to?”

  His shoulders moved in an easy shrug. “I do if you want to.”

  “Let’s sit for a while. I just wanted to feel the sun on my face.”

  He nodded and they settled together, side by side in the sand. Gulls screeched overhead and the crash of the surf lulled them into a comfortable silence. Tess leaned back and breathed deeply of the sea air. Suddenly it seemed she had all the time in the world. Time to discover who she was.

  Time to love a great love.

  Mason shifted beside her, brushing sand from his hands. “So, about what I wanted to say before…”

  She took a deep breath and faced him. “Okay, I’m listening.”

  “Tess…first and foremost I want to apologize. Asking you and your family to leave that night was unforgivable.”

  “You did what you felt was right at the time, given the circumstances.”

  His eyes widened and surprise flickered through him. “I was upset to think we might be losing our shot at the youth center.”

  “I know.”

  “All I could think of was Rafe lying in that hospital bed and all the other kids that might end up like him if we didn’t get the center going.”

  “I know. How is he?”

  A slow smile curved his lips. “He’s doing great. That kid has the world’s hardest head. He’s frustrated as hell that he can’t move around like he used to, but it’s temporary and he’s managing. He said he saw you the other day.”

  “I did stop by. And how is his father?”

  “Holding steady. I think he’s trying his best to get healthy so he can make things up to Rafe. He’s been clean for almost eight months now.”

  She nodded. “I’m glad.”

  “You must think I’m the biggest prick for turning my nose up at your aunt and her readings.”

  “It’s hard to accept something you don’t quite understand. Maybe you should have her do a reading for you, so you can see what it’s all about. I’d love to hear what she has to say.”

  “Sounds a little intimidating, but if it’ll get me back in her good graces, I’ll give it a try.”

  “It’s pretty hard to fall out of Aunt Sophie’s good graces. I have never met a more patient or understanding person. She writes all this off to everyone’s life lessons.

  “She told me you called her. That was nice.” She ran her fingers through the sand. “You know, she doesn’t judge you for what happened.”

  “And do you?”

  Tess glanced away, toward the water where a gull dipped low over the swells. “I did. It was hard not to. Hard not to be hurt.” She turned back to him. “You see, no one has ever rejected me. Ever. Not in my entire life. I didn’t know how to deal with that.”

  “Tess, I’m so sorry. I hope you know it wasn’t you I was rejecting.”

  “It’s okay. I needed that. I needed to know what it feels like to be normal.”

  His eyes crinkled as he laughed. “You, my dear, will never be normal.”

  “It isn’t funny. I can be as normal as the next person.”

  “Sweetheart, I believe you can be anything you set your mind to, but you’re special in a way I can’t begin to describe. And I completely understand why you need to be on your own. I don’t think I had thought through all I might have been asking when I asked you to live with me. I guess I was thinking of myself, trying to hold on to something that wasn’t mine to hold on to.” He paused and held her gaze. “I’m really sorry for that.”

  She reached over and took his hand, needing the connection. A peace he hadn’t possessed be
fore hummed quietly below his surface. She cocked her head and let her gaze drift over him. “You’ve changed.”

  Surprise rounded his eyes. “How?”

  “You’re more at peace.”

  “Yeah, maybe so. I’ve done a lot of thinking since the gala. Had a long talk with my uncle Gabe. He helped me put things in perspective. It would be nice if you could meet him.”

  He turned her hand over in his and traced circles along her palm. “Anyway, I’m a pigheaded fool and why you agreed to see me and why you’re being so damn understanding I can barely fathom, but I have never been so grateful for anything in my entire life. Thank you for seeing me and for hearing me out. It means the world to me.”

  She closed her eyes and let his bittersweet longing wash over her. He did mean to let her go—leave her for good to allow her to move on to whatever new love might be out there waiting for her.

  But was she ready to leave?

  “Do you believe that we each have one great love?” she asked.

  He patted her hand, then let it go. “I don’t know. I guess it’s nice to think so.”

  “Nikki believes it. Her whole childhood she wanted our mother to quit roaming from lover to lover and settle down with her true love.”

  “And did she?”

  “Not yet, but I think we’re going to figure that one out soon.”

  “What about Nikki? Is Dylan her great love?”

  “Oh, yes. The two are practically inseparable. She said she knew it the moment she met him, but she was so afraid of losing him that she hid the truth, even from herself, until she nearly lost him.”

  “I think I can relate to that whole hanging-on thing.”

  A sailboat appeared on the horizon, tacking slowly to the north. He watched it for a few minutes, then turned back to her. “I’m glad Nikki and Dylan were able to work things out.”

  “Yeah, so maybe she was right. Maybe there is one great love for each of us.” She squinted into the sun as it peeped from behind a cloud. “I think maybe I would like it if that were so.”

  He nodded and his gaze darkened. “I think I would, too.”

  “Well, you know there’s one way we might be able to find out if we each have a true love.”

  “How?”

  “We could pretend that I never turned down your proposal to live with you.” Her heart thudded as his eyebrows drew together.

  “Tess, what are you saying?”

  “I’m saying that I was afraid when you first asked me. My identity was all tied up in being a sexual healer. I was afraid that if I stayed with you I’d lose that identity. I had no idea who I was outside of that role. It was hard to get over that, but I’ve been figuring out who I am. I’ve been working with the teens.”

  “I heard about your nature walk. The kids think you’re all that.”

  She nodded. “I do believe we could each have one great love and I think that maybe…quite possibly…it could be that my one great love is you.”

  Dismay and joy swirled out from him in a cloud of confusion. “Tess.”

  She frowned when he didn’t continue. “I tell you I think you may be my one great love and that’s all you have to say?”

  “I don’t know what to say. You’ve taken me completely by surprise.” Those adorable dimples of his made an appearance as he raised his hands in appeal. “I had hoped you might accept my apology. This is beyond my greatest expectation.”

  A giggle tickled its way up her throat and trickled out of her mouth. “So, why don’t you kiss me and tell me you think that maybe I might possibly be your one great love, too?”

  “I’m sorry. I don’t think I can do that.”

  “You can’t?”

  He shook his head, his expression solemn. “No, I’m afraid not.”

  She pulled away, frowning. “Oh.”

  “You see, there is no ‘maybe’ about it. I do have one great love and there is absolutely no doubt in my mind that that love is you.”

  “Oh.” She smiled. “So.”

  “So.” He leaned in toward her and she met him halfway, but just when his lips parted, a hairbreadth away from hers, he scooped her up, then stood.

  “Mason, what are you doing?” She wrapped her arms around his neck as he jostled her into a more comfortable position.

  “Coloring outside of the lines.”

  “Oh?”

  Those marvelous dimples flashed at her again, and she laughed as he ran with her to the water. Gulls screeched overhead and white foam broke around them when he dove with her into the surf.

  The waves closed over them in a chilling rush and Tess slipped free to swim several long strokes before surfacing beside Mason. He frowned and tucked a stray strand of her hair behind her ear as they treaded water just beyond the breaking waves.

  “Cold?” he asked.

  She nodded. “Freezing.”

  He wrapped his arms around her, while kicking to keep them afloat. “So, if you move in with me and miracle of all miracles you decide that I am after all your one great love, then what does that mean for your gift?”

  “Actually, I’m not sure.”

  “Would it mean that you lose the gift?”

  “It might.”

  He pushed back from her. “Tess…that’s not right. I could never ask you to do that.”

  “Well, you’re not asking me.”

  “It’s too big a sacrifice.”

  She kicked forward, closing the gap between them. “If it is a sacrifice, which I’m not so sure it is—the gift could evolve in a way—then it’s my sacrifice to make.” She draped first one, then her other arm over his shoulders. “And I want to make it.”

  Deep grooves formed between his eyebrows and his eyes glittered. “Are you sure?”

  “Absolutely.”

  He kissed her then, his mouth hungry for hers as the warmth of his love blanketed her. She pressed her body close to his and kicked with him as they bobbed in the water with the sun warming them and the breeze wrapping around them.

  When at last he pulled away, desire shone in his dark eyes. His gaze drifted over her. “Are you ready to go home?”

  “Yes.”

  His mouth quirked to one side. “But what about all your male friends? I hate to admit it, but I can’t help feeling jealous when they’re always with you.”

  “Believe it or not, they haven’t been hanging around much since I met you.”

  “Really? And are you okay with not having them there all the time? Would you be okay with having just some of them around some of the time?”

  She gazed past him to the lone sail now far away on the horizon. “I don’t need all that fuss around me anymore. After the gala I spent some time alone and I think I’ve got a good start on who I am just by myself.”

  “And who are you, Tess McClellan?”

  “I’m an independent female with a penchant for a good time and a desire to give back to my community. I’ve discovered that I like to read and take long walks and it is possible for me to order just one item off a menu. I know that simply put I can not only be alone, but that I actually enjoy being alone at times. But most of all…I’m happy.” She smiled. “That’s who I am.”

  “Well, I think you sound like the person I want to spend a lot of time with.”

  “Good. So, who are you?”

  “Me?” He pointed to himself. “Who am I?”

  She nodded and smiled to encourage him.

  “Ah, I’ve got it. I’m a man who’s learned to listen to the woman he loves.”

  “Yeah?”

  “Got that straight.”

  “Okay, so we need to talk about a plan. We need some goals here.”

  He cocked his head. “You mean a life plan?”

  “Right, one we can start on right after I finish ravaging you.”

  “You’re going to ravage me?”

  “Don’t worry, you’re going to love it. Have I ever steered you wrong?”

  “I’m listening. Just tell me what you want m
e to do. I am yours to command.”

  She smiled and let the sun dance across her wet skin, her heart filled to bursting as they headed back to the shore. “Then take me home, so I can have my way with you.”

  “And that life plan?” he asked as he lifted her from the water.

  Secure in his arms, she traced the curve of his cheek. “I stick with you, for good, because you’re the one and only man that I can handle.”

  ISBN: 978-1-4268-5942-7

  SO MANY MEN…

  Copyright © 2005 by Dorene Graham.

  All rights reserved. Except for use in any review, the reproduction or utilization of this work in whole or in part in any form by any electronic, mechanical or other means, now known or hereafter invented, including xerography, photocopying and recording, or in any information storage or retrieval system, is forbidden without the written permission of the publisher, Harlequin Enterprises Limited, 225 Duncan Mill Road, Don Mills, Ontario, Canada M3B 3K9.

  All characters in this book have no existence outside the imagination of the author and have no relation whatsoever to anyone bearing the same name or names. They are not even distantly inspired by any individual known or unknown to the author, and all incidents are pure invention.

  This edition published by arrangement with Harlequin Books S.A.

  ® and TM are trademarks of the publisher. Trademarks indicated with ® are registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office, the Canadian Trade Marks Office and in other countries.

  www.eHarlequin.com

  *Sexual Healing