Redeemers (The Devil's Roses Book 8)

by Tara Brown

  He swallows hard again. His cocky words are lost, maybe in the realization that I know everything and I am here because of it. “You kept it?”

  He doesn't know that?

  How does he not know I kept it?

  “You didn't watch me take it?” I was so certain he had watched over me these past two years.

  He shakes his head. “It doesn't work like that here.”

  I hate that he hasn't seen me. He hasn't been watching over me like he did before, like I assumed he was. But the floor of Heaven is also not glass the way I had anticipated it would be.

  “You kept the feather though.” His eyes shine like stars reside in there with every memory of me. “Why?”

  I know it’s now or never but the words are stuck in my throat, as though they are lodged in there. I clutch the feather and lift my hand to his cheek, running it down his face.

  “No!”

  I don't know if he’s telling me no or if it’s in disbelief, but I don't care. I grab his face and pull his lips down on mine. I close my eyes and press myself against him. And for the first time ever I melt into the kiss, melt into him, and melt in my heart. The tears I have desperately tried to keep at bay slip down my cheeks, becoming part of our silent kiss.

  He’s frozen and rigid, and I can’t help but wonder if he isn’t real at all. If this is a horrid dream and I am stuck seeing everything as real.

  But then he springs to life. His arms encircle me, crushing me with realness and desperate passion. His trembling fingers press into my back as he wraps around me. The kiss never goes beyond our lips—it doesn't have to. He freezes, gripping to me and still hovering over my mouth. “This isn’t real. You aren’t really here,” he whispers into my tear-soaked lips with his hot breath.

  I nod against him. “I am real.”

  The whole world, Heaven and Earth, is gone. It is just us two, spinning in one spot in the clouds. I swear there isn’t a single thing in the world beyond us. My heart is pounding against his chest, desperate to give itself to him.

  “I can feel your heart.” He pulls back, glossy eyed and confused. I can see it all over him, confusion and desperation.

  “I am real.”

  I don't want him to back away too far. I don't want to stop being part of the air he breathes and the world he is in. I understand for the first time ever what love feels like. I can see it in his eyes. I can see his love and his heartache. He runs his thumb down my cheek. “I don't understand, love. I don't get why you are here and why you are kissing me.”

  “Because you showed me everything. You bared your soul.”

  He winces. “You saw it all? How?”

  “The feather. Momma Holt gave me your memories with it.” I nod.

  “Bloody hell. That feather was just for you to know I loved you. Not for you to see every moment. Now I look like a friggin’ stalker.” His shitty tone makes me smile wide, still sniffling back tears, but smiling joyfully.

  “You are a stalker.”

  His cheeks flush as he glances at me through his thick lashes. My world is complete. The beautiful boy in front of me has made every moment worth living. “But the stalking got you here, didn't it then?”

  “Whatever.”

  He kisses me again, so softly I barely feel the touch but am burned by the heat of his lips against mine. He hovers in the kiss, savoring it. “I love you, Aimee. I have always loved you.”

  His words burn worse than the kiss. I shake my head. “I had no idea how you felt until I saw it all.”

  His lips tremble again as the humor tries to mask the pain that his cracking voice reveals. “I want to take it all back. I want to try again and do the right thing this time. If I had one wish in the whole world, it would be to just start over.”

  Tears fill my eyes again. “Why can’t you just come back?” My heart aches and burns like there is wildfire burning me from the inside out.

  He laughs bitterly. How I have missed that cynical sound. “I would have died every day for a thousand years to keep you alive. I did the one thing I think I was put on Earth to do.”

  “NO!” The floodgates open. Not because of his romantic confession but because I am angry. “You made it so I died a thousand times instead of you. I have been miserable down there. I can’t function knowing that you’re here and I’m there and the whole world is between us. You gave me that fucking feather and left me down there to wallow in it.”

  His expression hardens, in the way only Dorian truly does properly. “One of us had to die. My dying wish was that you would know I loved you with every fiber of my being. I just wanted you to know so you didn't hate me anymore.”

  His words make it all worse. I step back, making the air rush between us. “I never hated you.”

  “You did. You had every reason to. I made sure of that.”

  I shake my head. “I didn't. I didn't hate you. I just never knew why you were so horrid to me. Why you tried so hard to make me hate you. If you had just given me a chance to know you, I would have loved you like I do now.”

  He stops, looking like I’ve hit him with a shovel as he swallows hard again. “You-you love me?” He scratches his head, running his hands through his dark hair.

  “I do. I sit down there and love you and die inside, completely alone.” It brings a terrible sound from my lips, a broken laugh. “It’s funny, everything you did to me to make me hate you was nothing in comparison to this. Making me love you on your deathbed is by far your cruelest act.”

  He shakes his dark head of hair. “Don't say that.” His warning tone is exactly as I recall it.

  “Why? It's the truth. You gave me this fucking feather and broke my heart.”

  His dark eyes narrow. “Yeah, well you bloody well broke my heart first. You didn't see how hard I was trying to make you despise me? You should have seen through that. You’re a smart girl, Aimee James. You should have seen through all my shit. What about when I sacrificed myself for you? You think I just sacrifice for everyone? Why do you think I made you a monster like me? I made it so you were the only thing that could ever kill me. Because if I had to die, I wanted it to be at your hand.”

  “WHY COULDN'T YOU JUST LOVE ME AND STAY?”

  He steps into me, crushing my mouth with his and sweeping me into his arms. And that is the moment everything else fades away and nothing else matters. He does love me. Even if he is dead. The kiss is more than we have ever shared. His tongue slides against mine, invading me. He lifts me into him, kissing harder, prying me open and exposing my heart’s truest desires and the beautiful mess he has made of it.

  He mumbles into my lips. “You are all I ever needed. Just to look at you was everything. I didn't need anything else.”

  “I need you now.” I hate needing anything. I hate that I need him more than any single thing in the world.

  “I am there, Aimee. I am. I swear.” He pulls my face back, looking down on me with such intensity I swear I can almost read his mind. “I will be back. I will find a way back to you.”

  It doesn't fade out like a dream. I don't slowly become mist and his words don't echo. Nothing changes except the fact I am suddenly heaving in a ball on my bed.

  I am wide awake and dying inside of blissful anguish.

  We never got to say goodbye or touch one last time. I can smell him and taste him, but it’s fleeting. I look at my hand and realize the feather is gone. I had it when I was holding his hand. It must have slipped from my fingers. I get up quickly, still sobbing, and search the bed. I tear each blanket in a frenzy, but there is no feather. The locket is still open, and empty. I rip it off and toss it across the room.

  All the feelings are still here. They are phantoms but I swear they’re real.

  His kisses are still on my lips, tingling.

  His hands are on me, still gripping with painful panic.

  His fierceness is in his eyes, still burning down on me.

  Until it’s all gone.

  I feel the moment I lose him.

/>   I can sense it—the exact second the blanket of Lillith’s spell slips over me, tucking me into my angelic slumber.

  The magic has hold of me because Dorian no longer does. His feather was my anchor and without it I am lost, floating in a sea of indifference.

  I awaken when Blake flops down onto my bed. I don't know why he’s here or what he wants, but I’m tired like I haven’t ever been, so I moan and roll over. “Go away!”

  “Aimes, you’ve been sleeping for days. Come on. Lorelei said the spell should have worn off by now. Did you see Dorian and Lorri? Did you talk to them and ask for help?” His words are annoying.

  I shake my head, swatting at him. “I’m tired.”

  He’s gone and back so fast I hardly noticed he’d left at all. A cool hand slips across my cheek, turning my head to face the person touching me. I groan when I see Lorelei. “What happened?”

  I shrug, pushing her off of me. “With what?”

  “Seeing Dorian.”

  The name makes sparks in my chest but I don't recall seeing him. “When?”

  “Four nights ago. I put a spell on you to send you to him.”

  I shake my head. “I don't know.”

  “Oh shit.” She grabs my head, sending pulsating shocks through my brain. I try to push her off but she forces me still, with magic. She pulls back, her face twisted in some emotion. “Oh God, I’m so sorry, Aimee.” She glances at Blake. “She left the feather behind by accident.”

  He presses his eyes shut. “Well, that's fucking perfect.” He must be really angry because Blake never swears much.

  Lorelei holds her hand against my arm, instantly burning a hole in my heart as memories and visions flood my head. “Oh God.” I cry out, rocking slightly. “What are you doing?” Tears instantly stream my cheeks. Dorian! His face pressed against mine and the severity of his grip haunt me.

  She pulls her hand away and nods. “We just have to remind you every few hours.”

  I glance around. “What happened?”

  “You left your feather in Heaven. You lost the thing that was grounding you here in your emotional body.”

  “I saw Dorian.”

  She nods. “And you failed to talk about anything important.”

  I lick my lips. “We got cut off. It just ended abruptly.”

  She drums her fingers on her legs. “We can still get the kids to the Garden of Eden if we leave today.”

  I scowl. “What did I miss?”

  Blake’s nervous glances about are exactly the reason I know something not good has occurred while I was being a meat sack in here.

  Lorelei’s voice is pained. “We had an incident.”

  I wait impatiently until she finally just blurts it out. “Sam is gone.”

  My skin prickles and crawls. “Gone? Like dead?”

  She shakes her head. “Gone, like he’s left us and is acting like a psycho. He’s been killing hordes of people, telling us he’s freeing them.”

  I point. “I had that sensation I was releasing them. When we were all being douche canoes and detached, Lillith’s spell must be one that made us free the innocents. I mistook it as God’s will.”

  Lorelei sighs and glances at Blake. He shakes his head. “I never had it.”

  “You had Alise from the start though. She’s here and real. You probably didn't even notice the pull to kill.”

  He shrugs. “Not sure, Aimes. I just know I didn't have it. I wanted to kill the bad guys, not the good ones.”

  “I wanted to kill everyone.”

  Lorelei’s eyes widen. “Lillith’s insane. Why would she do this?”

  Blake cocks an eyebrow. “The rape made her pretty crazy, like rape will.”

  “Well, I wish she could find a little inner peace,” she sighs.

  I feel sick from the detachment I suffered and the burst of memories of Dorian. He touched me and kissed me and told me he would find me. I have to believe that is still a possible fate we have mapped out in an agreement with our hearts and souls.

  Lorelei is talking and Blake is arguing, and I am stuck on the kisses I don't want to let go of. I don't want to move past it. I can feel it all fading. I will need to be jolted back to the girl who remembers everything, and soon. I will have to be freed from the fog.

  It dawns on me then, I need to kill Lillith.

  I need to kill her and end her magic so I stand a chance at properly remembering the feeling of his mouth on mine. I got my wish; I melted into his kiss and his embrace, and I finally told him I loved him.

  And that bitch thinks she can take that from me.

  Not likely.

  I’m up and pulling on my jeans and boots when I notice they’ve stopped talking. I turn to see Blake smiling.

  “What was that?”

  I scowl. “What?”

  “Aimee James is back.”

  Lorelei laughs. “You just got sassy, real fast. You jumped up and started pulling clothes on and growled a little.”

  I shrug. “She’s trying to steal my memories and my free will. Fuck her. She doesn't get the only true kisses I’ve ever shared with someone. With Dorian there is no influence of angel magic. Just love. Lillith can’t have that.” The words are mumbled, like I had to force them from my lips.

  Blake nods. “’Bout time you got into this.” We flash from the room to the living room, dragging Lorelei with us.

  Shane gives me a once-over. “What’s with the leathers and boots? You feeling like kicking some ass, Aimes?”

  I nod. “Yup.” I give Lorelei a look. “Every fifteen minutes, you blast me with that shit.”

  She nods.

  The pain and agony of it all will keep my pissed-off, bitchy side fresh and rejuvenated.

  “Lillith wants to play dirty—fine. We meet her on the battlefield and show her how dirty we like to play.”

  Giselle chuckles, clearly going to a perverted place with the statement.

  Chapter Six

  The bitch is back

  My heels click along the cold and broken cement as I climb the stairs to the courthouse in New York City. My nose never lies and it is certain we need to go this way. Shane and Giselle have my flanks with Blake and Lorelei in behind them. Lorelei’s friend Gwen and her boyfriend Landry are at the very back. I don't sneak or wink—I walk as boldly as I can up to the front doors. They’re ripped off and hanging next to the entrance.

  “These look like the doors to the Blackrock area on WOW.”

  Blake’s comment makes me crack a smile, but I don't let it slow my steps. Sirens and dust fill the dark air behind us, the noise hushing slightly as we enter the large foyer.

  I can smell them perfectly. The stain of the evil is everywhere. They make the air tingle, even if I don't know what they are, exactly.

  “Invisibility might have been more badass than winking, just saying.”

  I look back at Blake. “You say that now. But if we were walking anywhere that was more than a block, you’d change your vote.”

  He shrugs. “I’d rather be invisible right now.”

  Lorelei snaps her fingers and he vanishes. She grins.

  “Oh man, you are awesome. Look, I’m invisible. I’m like the invisible man on The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen!”

  I roll my eyes. “Just keep your clothes on.”

  “My clothes are invisible. The reason he never wore clothes was because they made him seeable.”

  Lorelei scoffs. “That's not a word.”

  I nod at her, lifting my finger to my lips. “It is a word. You don't want this argument. He’s the Scrabble master.” I hold a hand out for her to jolt me with a fresh batch of Dorian-need and feelings.

  She does it, bringing a new rage to the surface. I slink around the corner, seeing a hive. When vampires cluster with succubi, we call it a hive. They’re like angry hornets, feeding off of each other and killing everything. “Mostly men, Lorelei.”

  She unzips her coat, revealing the sexiest body ever. She’s curvy and stunning. She told m
e once her mother called her fat her entire life. I just don't see it. She’s strong in a way that you can tell she brought the strength into her vampire life from her human one. Even Blake makes a sound from next to me, revealing he’s way too close for comfort. I take off my leather jacket, so I am wearing only my pale-blue tank top to go with my leather pants and huge boots. I would look sexy if I weren’t standing next to Lorelei or Gwen, who is fairly similar to Lorelei—stunning.

  Giselle takes her jacket off and I roll my eyes. “You could actually keep your jacket on.”

  She sticks her tongue out. We leave the guys standing in the foyer and creep to the entrance. Our gait changes the moment we cross the threshold to the large courtroom. Each of us walks like we’re on a catwalk. Giselle tosses her black silky hair. Every face turns as their mouths drop and the room grows silent, apart from one man. “Damn! Where the hell did you bitches come from?”

  Lorelei, using every ounce of Southern charm, walks ahead of us. “Y’all don't know where a girl can get a drink round here, do ya?” She twirls her hair and tilts her head. She is amazing at playing dumb Southern girl. It’s almost creepy. I asked her about it once and she laughed and said that was the expectation for women in the fifties.

  They laugh nervously, jumping down from their seats. The same guy speaks as if he does it for them all. “Most of the humans are dead but we can always feed off each other.”

  She drops her fangs, looking like a porn star. Whimpers follow from the crowd of people. Even the women seem attracted.

  Hell, I’m attracted to her. She’s funny and sexy and she fights like a dude. That's always attractive. Giselle still fights like a girl.

  “Where did you all come from?” The vocal man walks to the front as though we are about to do a standoff of us and them, like in a cheesy music video from the nineties.

  She points back behind us. “Hamptons. My friends the Ryans have a house out there. We was staying in their place, laying low.”

  He nods toward the door where the moonlight is coming in through the holes in the old building. “You got some friends in the hallway?”

  She glances back. “Yeah. More like us.”