Potato Factory

by Bryce Courtenay

  ‘A sprat! Cost you a sprat or nowt ‘appens.’

  ‘Sixpence!’ Ikey howled, though he did so more for the form of it than anything else. The boy was good, very, very good and he wished he could have him under his tuition. The boy reminded Ikey of the young Bob Marley, same cheek and quickness of mind. He smiled to himself, for he knew he could now trust him to take the paper directly to Silas Browne. Ikey returned the copper coin to his dumby and found a silver sixpence which he handed backwards to the boy.

  ‘This paper what I want you to take to Mr Silas Browne, it is concealed upon me person. I shall need to stoop down to reach it and to cut open the ‘emline o’ me coat to remove it. I ‘ave a small razor to do so, but my dear, do not be in the least alarmed, we, that’s yours truly, is not at all a creature o’ violence and disputation.’

  ‘Don’t turn about now!’ the boy said threateningly, trying to put a deeper tone into his voice.

  ‘No need, absolutely no need! No need in the least, you have my guarantee upon that, my dear.’

  Ikey reached for the cut-throat razor in his pocket and opening it he stooped down and cut quickly at the line of the hem, though above the hidden plates, and only a cut wide enough to ease one of the plates sideways through the slit. He untied the twine and removed the wrapping from around the engraving. With the razor he sliced a small triangular corner from the square of paper, which he handed backwards to the boy.

  ‘Take the paper to Mr Silas Browne, my dear, it’s me affy davy.’

  Ikey waited.

  ‘Hey, mister, ‘t ain’t say nowt onnit!’ the boy exclaimed. ‘It be blank paper what’s got nowt writ onnit!’

  Ikey chuckled. ‘On the contrary, my dear, it speaks most eloquent to those what knows ‘ow to read its message.’

  There was silence behind him and Ikey imagined the confusion the boy was feeling. Seeking to put the lad out of his agony, he added, ‘It’s invisible like, but to such as Mr Silas Browne Esquire who knows the trick o’ reading it, it’s a magical paper.’ Ikey spread his hands. ‘Trust me, my dear.’

  ‘You’ll stay ‘ere, see! You’ll not be doing nowt ‘til I returns!’ The boy added threateningly, ‘There’s dogs, big bastids what can be let loose and sent after you in a twinklin’, you’ll not get t’gate before they’s torn you t’ bits!’

  ‘Not a muscle, my dear, not a single twitch, not a cat’s whisker, not a scintilla o’ movement until you gets back. Quiet as a mouse, silent as a ferret in a chicken coop, that’s yours truly, Ikey Solomon, late of London Town. Tell your master there’s more, much more where that come from, ‘eaps and ‘eaps more! ‘E’ll be most pleased, most pleased indeed to know that.’

  The boy ran past Ikey and towards the house, laughing, not caring now whether Ikey saw him. He carried a long stick which he waved in the air. He was tiny, small enough even for Ikey to box his ears or place a sharp-toed boot into his scrawny little arse.

  The boy, at first delighted to have made sevenpence so easily, grew anxious at his own reception as he drew nearer to the house. Silas Browne and the half dozen men and boys who worked with him stood waiting at the head of the ladder for him to climb into the room above. The lad, afraid he might lose the paper, held it between his lips as he climbed the ladder.

  ‘Wotcha got then, Josh lad?’ Silas Browne asked as the boy stepped from the ladder into the room.

  Together with the others he’d stood watching from the windows at Ikey’s original approach. They’d seen the boy Joshua, who’d been earlier sent on an errand, waylay Ikey from behind, before they could send an adult out to accost the stranger. Josh, though only ten years old, was known to be bright enough to make a judgement, yet young enough not to arouse any suspicion if the stranger was thought to be from the law. Silas knew that if the lad decided the man was up to no good he would drop his stick on the ground and then pick it up again. Whereupon he’d send one of the other lads down and set the dogs after the intruder to see him off their land.

  One of the men pulled the ladder up after the lad had climbed clear and closed the trap door behind him, bolting it firmly back into place. The boy Joshua looked somewhat sheepish at the greeting given by his master and, removing the tiny slip of paper from between his lips, handed it to Silas Browne.

  ‘ ’Tain’t much, sir, but ‘e sayed it was magical like, that you’d understand immediate like?’ The boy, a most concerned expression upon his face, looked up at Silas Browne. ‘Did I do wrong, sir?’

  Silas Browne took the paper and rubbed it for a moment between his forefinger and thumb, whereupon he jerked back in surprise.

  ‘No, lad, methinks you done good!’

  He moved immediately to the window, where he held the paper up to the light.

  ‘Jaysus!’ he exclaimed.

  ‘ ’E says there’s more, lot’s more where’t come from, Mr Browne, sir,’ Josh shouted across the room, much relieved at this reception.

  ‘Bring sponge, lad. . .a wet sponge!’ Silas Browne shouted at one of the boys nearest to him. ‘ ’Urry!’

  In a few moments the boy returned and handed Silas Browne a damp sponge. Placing the scrap of paper again against the window glass, Silas wiped carefully over it several times. Then he lifted it from the window with the edge of his thumbnail and called for a pair of tweezers. Holding the paper at one corner with the tweezers, he walked over to a hearth where several cast-iron pots of blacking plopped slowly on the open coals. He held the pincers and paper to the heat of the embers, and the tiny scrap of damp paper took only moments to dry. Silas Browne returned to the window and held the paper once again to the light.

  ‘Jaysus, Mary and Joseph!’ he shouted, ‘ ’Tain’t possible, watermark’s stayed! Bloody watermark’s stayed put right ‘ere on paper! Quick! Call Maggie!’

  Another young lad dashed off while the rest of the men gathered around, astonished to see that the faked Bank of England watermark had remained undamaged, as though it was woven within the very substance of the paper.

  ‘What’s ‘is name, Josh?’ Silas demanded.

  ‘Ikey. . .Ikey Sausageman, sir. . .’ Josh looked uncertain. ‘Sonomins, summit like that, sir.’

  ‘Ikey Solomons! Jaysus Christ!’ Silas pointed to one of the men. ‘Go with the lad, Jim, bring ‘im along, ‘e be famous like in London!’ He looked around impatiently. ‘Where’s bloody Maggie?’

  Not twenty minutes later Silas and Maggie looked on in amazement as Ikey produced the first of the engravings. Ikey unwrapped the watermarked Bank of England paper covering the copper rectangle, and leaving it lying in the centre of the paper he straightened out the sheet, smoothing its sides with the edges of his palm without touching the shining copper plate, so that the rectangular etching lay pristine, a precious slab of polished metal catching the light. Then Ikey tried to lift the etched copper plate from the centre of the paper but his hands were too cold and his fingers were quite unable to function. Maggie, seeing his distress, bid him warm himself at the hearth while she brought him a plate of bread and a deep bowl of beef and potato broth.

  ‘There you be, then, Mr Solomons, a bowl of broth will soon warm you proper well!’

  While Ikey greedily slurped the creamy broth, thick almost as a good Irish stew, Silas and his wife, who, in her wooden clogs, stood as tall as her husband, examined the etching but did not touch it or the bill paper on which it lay. Halfway through the large bowl Ikey stopped and pointed to the sheet of paper with its corner missing, and nodded to Maggie the Colour. ‘Take a good look then, my dear! Never was there a better drop o’ paper for your marvellous colours and tinctures, and never a plate etched more perfect!’

  Maggie picked up the etched copper plate while Silas examined the paper, neither saying a word, as Ikey went back to slurping his soup. Maggie the Colour handed the copper plate to Silas, holding it carefully between her fingers at each end and took the paper Silas had placed back on the table and walked over to the nearest window. She carefully flattened a portion of it ag
ainst the window pane.

  After a few moments she turned to Silas. ‘What you think, then?’

  ‘Never seen nothin’ the likes o’ this engravin’ before! Never. . .and that’s Gawd’s truth!’ exclaimed Silas, examining the plate through an eyeglass.

  ‘The paper?’ Maggie asked, turning now to Ikey. ‘ ’Ow’d you do it, Mr Solomons?’

  ‘Solomon, it don’t ‘ave no “s”,’ Ikey said, placing down his spoon, the bowl close to empty. He was suddenly aware that hunger and cold had driven him to show too much without the attendant patter required to work them up to the first unveiling. He had neglected the basic tenet of business, to reveal only a little at a time, enough to whet the appetite, so to speak, while holding sufficient back to feed the urgency of the bargaining that must inevitably follow. Now he attempted to recover somewhat from this poorly managed beginning.

  ‘I’ve ‘ad the pleasure o’ being a regular customer for your work, my dear. Marvellous! Ain’t no personage in England, perhaps even the world, what can mix tinctures, colours and gradations as subtle as you. Work o’ pure genius, madam! Pure and simple and undisputed genius, no less.’

  Maggie the Colour smiled thinly and looked down, embarrassed. ‘Now, Mr Solomons, ‘tain’t that good!’

  ‘Not a scrap less praise and ‘onour is due to you!’ Ikey declared. ‘Them colours is o’ the ‘ighest possible magnitude, the work of a genius!’ Ikey cleared his throat and grinned at Maggie. ‘Now supposin’ I was to ask you ‘ow you come about them colours, asked Maggie the Colour the secret o’ her dyes and tinctures and the mixtures for your ink galls? What say you then, my dear?’

  ‘Quite right!’ Silas Browne laughed and with the eyeglass still clamped in his eye, clapped his hands. ‘You’d be gettin’ nowt from our Maggie! Them inks and dyes, tinctures and juices, they be ‘er secret to ‘er final dyin’ breath, till grave an’ beyond!’

  ‘Ah, you see?’ Ikey exclaimed. ‘A secret is only a secret when it remains in the ‘ead of one person. Share it with another and it ain’t a secret no more. You can kiss it goodbye, my dear, it’s gorn forever. It’s like a bloomin’ swallow what’s left England for warmer climes when winter approaches. Next thing you know it’s on the other side o’ the bloomin’ world, darkest Africa or wilds o’ South America! Good secrets all ‘ave a price and the tellin’ o’ them is never cheap!’ Ikey resumed slurping his soup, satisfied that he’d somewhat recovered the initiative.

  ‘Do we take it you ‘as a proposition to make, like?’ Silas Browne asked, carefully placing the plate he’d been examining back on the square of paper which Maggie had returned to the table.

  Ikey’s untidy eyebrows lifted halfway up his brow and his eyes widened in pleasant surprise, his spoon poised in mid-air.

  ‘A proposition? Why sir, that is exactly and precisely and unequivocally what I ‘ave! A proposition, a business proposition, a remarkable opportunity, a proposition the likes o’ which may never come your way again. A truly great conjunction of opportunities, of copper and paper and ink, an opportunity not never to be matched in its potential for wealth! A proposition you say! Why, I couldn’t ‘ave put it no better meself.’

  Ikey went back to the remainder of his soup, and when the scraping and rattling of his spoon had ceased he further stalled the opportunity for an answer from his hosts by wiping the interior of the bowl clean with the last of the bread. ‘A proposition as delicious, madam, as this bowl of excellent broth!’ he finally concluded.

  Maggie the Colour smiled at the compliment, knowing it to be the first thrust in the bargaining to come. ‘Where shall we begin, then. . .paper or plate? I can see the plate but paper be but one sheet and cut at corner like?’

  ‘Paper’s good, but ‘ow much? ‘Ow much ‘as you got?’ said Silas Browne, repeating his wife’s question.

  Silas was not a man inclined to much subtlety nor one to beat about the bush, and he’d already spent as much good humour as he was known to offer anyone. Ikey, seeing him for the more clumsy of the two, had hoped that he might be the mouth. But it took him only moments to realise that Maggie the Colour’s smile was a clear indication of where the brains in their partnership lay.

  ‘Depends o’ course what denominations you want to print, my dears.’

  ‘Denominations?’ Maggie the Colour looked at Ikey curiously. ‘This plate is for ten pounds.’

  Ikey jabbed a finger at her. ‘That it is, my dear, but it could be supposed that there might be others if an interest is shown in what ‘as already been revealed and remarked upon? There could be a plate to the astonishin’ denomination of one ‘undred pounds!’

  ‘One ‘undred pounds? You say engravin’ be for one ‘undred!’ Silas said scornfully. ‘Bullshit! ‘Undred pound engravin’ be too ‘ard for single engraver, too ‘ard by ‘arf and then some! ‘Undred pound engravin’ take four scratchers, maybe five. ‘Tain’t humanly possible!’

  Ikey shrugged. Things were beginning to go to plan; show the top and the bottom of a proposition, the extremities of the deal, and the middle. The details, could usually be relied upon to take care of themselves.

  He reached into his coat pocket and withdrew the small cut-throat razor and opening it slowly, he stooped down, lifted the hem of his great coat and laid it with the dirty lining facing upwards on the table. Then he carefully extended the previous slit he’d made by perhaps three further inches. His thumb and forefinger acting as pincers entered the slit and soon withdrew a second wrapped plate. How Ikey knew this to be the hundred pound plate is a tribute to his very tidy brain, and an indication that he’d secured the four etchings in the lining of his coat before leaving London.

  Now he handed it to Maggie the Colour, who carefully opened up the neat little parcel to reveal the plate for a one hundred pound Bank of England note. Ikey let the hem of his coat drop back to the floor as Silas Browne swept up the copper rectangle, this time making no pretence at care, so that Ikey was seen to wince. He twisted the eyeglass back into his head and commenced to examine the plate. As he did so, his breathing increased until he was positively panting in surprise. ‘Jaysus! Jaysus Christ!’ he said.

  He laid down the plate, this time with care. ‘ ’Tain’t possible,’ he turned to his wife, ‘but it be there and it be nigh perfect!’

  ‘Does we take it the paper and the plates go together, like?’ Maggie asked, ‘the ten pound and ‘undred pound plates and you ain’t said ‘ow much paper you got?’

  Ikey chuckled and spread his hands wide. ‘And I ain’t told you ‘ow many o’ these little copper darlin’s we’ve got, my dear!’

  ‘Four,’ Maggie said calmly. ‘You ‘ave four.’

  Ikey’s eyebrows shot up. ‘Well done, my dear, you ‘ave turned my supposin’ into proposin’. Indeed I ‘ave four.’ Ikey pulled the hem of his coat back onto the table, and his long dirty nails disappeared within the slit he’d previously made and withdrew each of the remaining parcels.

  ‘Twenty and fifty, I do declare!’ Ikey announced triumphantly and laid the two parcels on the table. Maggie the Colour sucked at her upper lip and commenced to untie each of the small parcels, not opening either until the twine had been removed from both. Then she revealed the etchings, leaving each on its own square of bill paper.

  Ikey took a corner of each sheet and pulled them together then added the wrapping from the hundred pound plate, and the original piece with the corner removed, so that the four pieces of paper formed a rectangle two feet wide and three square.

  ‘There you are, one complete sheet? Big enough, if I may say so, to make three dozen banknotes of any denomination you likes, my dears.’ He paused and then added, pointing to the square made from the four separate sheets of paper, ‘We ‘as the pleasure o’ makin’ available to your good selves one ‘undred and ten sheets o’ the very same watermarked and quite perfect paper!’

  Maggie the Colour snorted. ‘And at what sort o’ risk do these one ‘undred and ten sheets come to us? Too ‘ot to touch, I s
hould think!’

  ‘I shall sell you one ‘undred and ten pristine sheets o’ this bill paper without any risks o’ the source becomin’ known, this bein’ me available stockpile. Then, if the paper proves to your likin’, I could offer you a continuin’ supply at the rate of one ‘undred sheets per annum, the delivery to be made at eight sheets per month and paid in gold sovs on delivery.’ Ikey was not sure how he would bring this about, but as the business opportunity presented itself so neatly he found it impossible not to capitalise on it.

  ‘Eight sheets per month, that be only ninety-six sheets, not one ‘undred!’ Maggie snapped.

  Ikey laughed, impressed at her quick calculation. ‘Madam, we ‘ave a sayin’: “Always leave a little salt on the bread!” You gets the extra four sheets as a Christmas gift, compliments o’ the ‘ouse o’ Solomon!’

  ‘The paper, it’s too good, you didn’t make it did you, it’s the real thing, ain’t it?’ Maggie said pointedly.

  Ikey touched his finger to his nose and sniffed. ‘Well I must most reluctantly confess, my dear, you’ve hit the nail on the ‘ead. It’s the same what the Bank of England uses, not a scintilla different, not a smidgin, not one jot or tittle different from what they uses to print their own longtails.’

  ‘And the watermark?’

  ‘The same! Woven in, my dear, the very innermost part o’ the bill itself. Can’t be removed no matter what you does, stamp, wash, bite, tear, while the paper remains, the mark is there!’

  ‘And you’ve got one ‘undred and ten sheets o’ same?’ Silas Browne asked again.

  Ikey picked up the plate for the hundred pound Bank of England note and cackled, showing his yellow teeth. ‘Or three ‘undred and sixty thousand pound worth o’ paper if you’ve a mind to use only this little beauty, my dear!’

  ‘Why ‘ave you come to us, Mr Solomons?’ Maggie asked. ‘Why ‘as you not gorn into business y’self like?’

  Ikey shrugged his thin shoulders and spread his palms and smiled.