She glanced down at her feet, emotion choking out all coherent thought. The rush was too overwhelming; the tide of denial breaking against her skin with such force she nearly stumbled. Could she do it? Could she give up everything for him… twice?
Then a simple turn of a knob made the choice for her.
“Your omelet is read—” Aiden’s voice fell silent the same time Sean’s hand dropped lifelessly at his side.
She squeezed her eyes shut and made a wish like she used to as a little girl. But no magic power came, especially not the one enabling her to freeze time.
Carefully, she lifted her head and met Sean’s horrified expression while Aiden quietly shut the door behind him. Two strides later, he was behind her, both hands on her shoulders, squeezing just enough to show absolute possession.
“Sean,” he said in a voice too clipped to be polite. “April didn’t mention you were back in town.” Mr. Trapp’s door was wide open—a detail she knew Aiden wouldn’t miss.
Sean didn’t move his gaze from hers. Didn’t acknowledge the man behind her with even a flinch. “Something you need to tell me, Jelly Bean?”
At the whisper of her nickname on Sean’s lips, Aiden’s grip grew tighter. She subtly tried to pull away, but his hands refused to move. “Can you give us a minute, please?” she asked over her shoulder.
“No, I don’t think so.” Then she was moving, and not by her own accord, back to her apartment. “Sean, I’m afraid this little reunion is going to have to wait. Our breakfast is getting cold and my girlfriend is not appropriately dressed for company.”
She knew if she showed a hint of struggle or gave an appearance at all that she didn’t want to leave with Aiden, Sean would pounce. And while she had every intention of giving Aiden her left hook, the last thing she wanted right now was a fight between two grown men.
So she allowed Aiden to push her through the door, let him close it behind her all while Sean stood unmoving in the hallway. It wasn’t until the click of the deadbolt that April spun around, allowing all her fury to explode from her chest.
“Don’t you ever manhandle me again,” she seethed. “I am not your property, nor am I a post for you to pee all over when you feel threatened.”
Aiden’s eyebrows flew to his hairline. “You think I behaved badly?” His incredulous tone was magnified by the sharp bite of controlled fury. “Sweetheart, that was me showing an enormous amount of restraint.”
Her teeth clicked together, and she had to shake out her hands and pace the length of the room to keep from throttling him.
Aiden regarded her for a mere second before launching a battery of questions. “So he’s your neighbor now? When did that happen?”
The panic wouldn’t ease. She pulled at her t-shirt, whipping it away from her skin to try and release the flash of heat. “Weeks ago. Right after the managers’ retreat.” She glanced up at the stationary ceiling fan and rushed toward the switch.
“And you didn’t feel the need to tell me?”
Finally, the cool air pressed down on her and as the panic eased, the iron in her spine grew stiffer. “No, I didn’t feel the need to tell you. Who I live next door to is none of your business.”
“It very well is my business.” He met her at the wall, his normally angelic skin flushed red. “You’re supposed to be my girlfriend, April. It’s not outrageous for me to be informed when your ex-fiancé stumbles back into your life. It’s common courtesy.”
She ground her teeth together, but no rebuttal came. Apart from his display in the hallway, Aiden hadn’t said one thing that wasn’t fair. “You’re right. I should have told you.”
Her admission seemed to suck the anger from the room and all that was left were questions hanging in every corner.
“Is he why you didn’t call your dad back? Why you’ve been jumpy all morning?”
Yes and Yes. But she didn’t say so—those words were too condemning—instead she remained silent.
“At least respect me enough to own it,” he yelled. “Are you two together or not?”
Journey suddenly appeared in the hallway, her hair a tangled web, her robe haphazardly tied. “Is everything okay out here?”
They both glanced her way and then back at each other. Aiden’s chest rose and fell in short, quick beats. He was furious and yet, like a good Duncan protégé, Journey’s interruption snapped him back to imperial stillness.
“I’m going to leave now before I say or do something I will undoubtedly regret.” His jaw jumped, but he kept his voice steady. “But let me make one thing very clear. You take this path, there is no coming back. Your parents will not give you another chance.” He swept his keys off the buffet by the door but paused with his hand on the knob. Turning, he ignored Journey and zeroed in completely on her. “You cannot live in two worlds, April. It’s his world or our world. There is no third option.”
Chapter 29
Sean tried once again to finish a lap around the running track, only to trip a foot later, knees scrapping against the rough asphalt. Pain ripped through his chest, numbing all the other aches that couldn’t be healed with medicine.
Aiden Hamilton.
His stomach heaved while he crawled toward the stationary trashcan. He lifted his head over the barrel just in time to see the contents of his breakfast slide down the plastic bag.
He couldn’t get the man’s face out of his head, the way his fingers touched her shoulders as if she belonged to him, the way he met his eyes with undiluted victory, and the worst, the way she let him push her back inside, her choice achingly clear.
There was no counterattack. That blow had been more than a knock down.
It was the knockout. Game over. He’d lost.
Never before had he resented his lungs as much as he did now. He needed to run. Needed to move until his mind and his body collapsed with exhaustion. But dizziness had set in, along with the body aches, and he knew his only course of action was to drag himself back home.
Back to the bed that still held her scent from the night before.
He gripped the can again, but had nothing left in his stomach. When his nausea subsided, he begrudgingly walked back to his car parked outside the field house, and drove the six minutes to his rented condo.
“Don’t ask,” Sean said as he walked by the front desk.
Chester had sat up, his face contorting to that of a concerned army medic. “You’re pale and swaying,” he said, forgoing his post to meet Sean outside the elevators. “You may have heat exhaustion.”
“I didn’t even run a half mile. I just need more antibiotics and some water. I’ll be fine.”
Chester nodded in a manner that could only be interpreted as sympathetic and took a step back. “He left about twenty minutes ago, in case you’re wondering.”
His insides shifted, but somehow he managed to keep upright. “I’m not.”
The elevator door opened just in time to save him from Chester’s pity and he flew inside, terrified his trembling body was going to collapse at any moment. For some reason, this pain was worse than before, as if he’d known, even back then, they’d have a second chance. He’d foolishly underestimated the Duncans once again. Only this time they’d trapped her in a relationship that would eventually kill every wonderful part of her.
The doors creaked open and using the wall for support, Sean lumbered down the long hallway to his door. A door currently being blocked by none other than the cause of his broken state.
She stood when he approached, still wearing the shorts and t-shirt she’d been wearing for Aiden.
Suddenly, his hurt and pain turned to absolute fury.
He brushed past her without a word and pushed open his door. He should slam it behind him, shut her out the way she’d shut him out, but a bigger part of him wanted the confrontation. He wanted the anger that felt far more empowering than the desperation.
Just as he knew she would, April followed him into the apartment and carefully shut the door behind her.
> Sean pulled a water bottle from the fridge and collapsed onto the couch. “What do you want?”
She sat on the edge of the cushion, dangerously close to his thigh and all he wanted to do was capture her in his arms and beg her to tell him that she hadn’t chosen them—her parents. That somewhere deep inside, she could still find the courage to break free.
Her sigh was one of frustration and exhaustion. “I did tell you I was seeing someone.”
His eyes shot to hers, hard and fast. “Seeing someone is not the same as dating Aiden Hamilton, and you know it.” Sean sat up, feeling a surge of energy. “So when’s the wedding?” He wanted to ask her more, wanted times, dates, details, but he also knew he couldn’t stomach any of the answers. “That is the goal, right? Perfect, doting daughter marries the man her parents have had set aside for her since she was of age.”
April shook her head, but even in the movement, he knew she wasn’t naïve. She’d walked into that relationship with her eyes wide open. “I didn’t know…” She stopped herself and took a breath. “I didn’t know I would feel this way about you again when I said yes to him.” She met his eyes. “Aiden was my ticket to getting my family back.”
Her fatigue was visible. The slump of her shoulders, the dimness in her eyes. This wasn’t the girl he’d been expecting. The shell of indifference was gone. Her pride completely stripped away.
It warmed and stabbed him at the same time because this was the person he could not survive losing. This was the person they wanted to annihilate.
Carefully, he scooted closer, ran a hand over her hair until it gently settled on her cheek. “You should not have to compromise yourself to be loved, Jelly Bean. You’ll never find what you’re looking for in them. It’s hollow.”
Moisture tickled his finger, zapping away all his residual anger. He gathered her in his arms, kissed her forehead, her cheek and then softly moved to her lips. They were salty from the tears she tried never to shed, and he pressed fervently, wanting all of it, all of her.
Her response was immediate. She straddled his lap, her hand in his hair while the tears fell.
He was entranced, stunned, hopeful. He wanted to be everywhere—her mind, her heart, her soul. He wanted everything they’d had and lost.
Pulling her closer, he let his hands roam down her back, felt the arch of her spine that was far too prominent. She needed him. She was wasting away, just as he had been for months.
She pulled back, set her forehead on his shoulder. “I should have ended things better. I should have given us both the closure we never had.”
He cupped her face, lifted her head so she would look at him. “End?” He kissed her tear stained cheek. “This is the beginning. We start fresh. Here. Now. There is no limit on how many times I will be right here ready to love you.” But only as he whispered the last word did he see the sadness. The utter defeat. His hands fell to his side, but she didn’t move.
Instead her expression grew more strained, more painful to watch. “Why didn’t you trust me back then? I know you apologized but you never told me why you did it.” The question was a plea as much as a whisper.
“Because I thought if I made you choose, you would pick them.” She went to stand and he tugged her back, his hands tight on her waist.
Her smile was sad, but not angry, and he heaved a sigh of relief when she touched his cheek with her gentle fingers. “The truth always seems to end up between us, doesn’t it?” She leaned in and kissed him one more time before standing.
He clutched her hand. “What does that mean?”
“It means you were right to lie to me, Sean. I would have picked them. I still do.”
“Why?” He stood, ready to shake her, ready to beg.
“Because it’s easier than risking everything else.” She tugged her hand away, the act leaving him more empty than he’d been at the running track. “The rules, the expectations.” She backed away with each word, physically and emotionally. “It’s what I know. It’s who I am.”
“It doesn’t have to be,” he all but pleaded. “Their love has always come with conditions. Mine doesn’t.”
“Sure it does. It requires absolute surrender.” She was retreating, putting more and more distance between them. “I can’t do it again.” April’s gaze didn’t falter and the pain written on her face was a punch in the gut. This wasn’t a reaction. It was a planned goodbye before he ever opened the door. “I don’t want to do it again.”
“So this is it? You’re giving up?” His eyes stung; his chest ached as if a weight sat on his lungs.
She pressed her lips together, and right before his eyes, the women he loved disappeared. “It’s time to stop fighting, Sean. For both our sakes, please… let me go.”
Chapter 30
Sean hurled another football through the black canvas throwing target. Annoyingly, he’d missed four out of the five, but it was likely because Ty wouldn’t shut up.
“Why are you here again?” he grumbled, taking the twenty-yard hike to fetch his footballs.
Ty jogged beside him, going backward. “Because you’ve been a hermit for two weeks now and we’re all worried about you.”
It’d been twelve days since April walked out of his condo. Twelve days of non-stop work and exercise to keep himself within the brink of sanity. At least he was back to full health again. The five miles he ran that morning turned to eight. Tomorrow, he’d do the same. Wake up, remember to breathe and then spend the rest of the day trying to forget. It was the same pattern he’d developed in New Braunfels so he knew it well.
“I’ve been busy. In case you haven’t noticed, I have a new job and a losing team to turn around.”
“Yeah, I’d buy that excuse if it wasn’t seven on a Friday night. Or if you hadn’t already turned down two invites to Mulligans.”
His friends had been relentless, but being stuck in Bentwood, watching April slip away with no hope of reaching her, was too much torture to hide with a few witty one-liners.
“Did Journey put you up to this? Make you come here and hound me until I said yes?”
Ty shrugged. “Journey, Beck. They’re equally concerned. It’d help if you’d take two seconds and call the guy back.”
“I’m not really in the mood to hear an I-told-you-so.” Not that he didn’t deserve it. Beck tried to warn him. He told him straight out that April had irreparably changed. Sean just hadn’t wanted to believe it.
“You know Beck’s not the type to gloat. He’s got too much class for that.” Ty beat him to the target and reached inside the netting for a ball. “You, on the other hand, do not. Which is why I’m shocked you’re giving up this easily.”
“She made her choice. She made it the minute she said yes to Aiden.” Ty scrunched his nose and it forced a chuckle Sean didn’t know he had in him. “Now, I have to figure out where I go from here.” He hurled the first ball back to the throwing line. “I’ll finish the season. I owe Houston at least that. But after it’s over, I don’t know. Maybe California with the rest of my family. Get a completely fresh start.”
“So you’re going to run, again?” Ty tossed him another ball. “That doesn’t sound like the guy I know. The one who faced every challenge head on until it was conquered.”
“Yeah, well….” Sean threw each ball with more force than the last until all three of them lay haphazardly on the field, nowhere close to his starting line. “That guy didn’t have nearly the scar tissue that I do.”
“And sometimes hurting is a sign that you need to do something different.” His tone grew heavy enough to make Sean pause. Ty wasn’t the mushy type. He kept emotions locked tight within, or at least he had before the engagement. The guy’s new propensity for self-examination was a bit unnerving. “When I came back from Dallas, I tried, like you did to pick up where we left off and win Journey back, all without really examining how we individually needed to change in order to move forward. And of course, it failed. It wasn’t until I let go of my misconceptions that we even
had a chance at forging a new way together, a path that has become far more meaningful now.”
Sean slammed his hand against his chest. “I did all of that! I recognized where I messed up. That I didn’t trust her when I should have.” He swallowed down the rising anger, so tired of it searing him over and over again. “April’s the one who refuses to do the same.” He turned, done with this conversation and began his trek back. “Get the last two, would you?”
“She’s miserable.” Ty’s words were a knife into his already battered heart.
“Of course she is,” he said mostly to himself. “But that doesn’t mean she’s not exactly where she wants to be.”
Ty caught back up, bringing the two footballs with him. “I just think if we all—”
“I’m done talking about this. Either find a new subject or make yourself useful and pick up the yard markers.”
“Okay. I tried.” He raised his hands in surrender and Sean knew he wouldn’t bring it up again.
He gathered the stray footballs and set them in a line again. Throwing wasn’t his strength, but lately he’d needed an outlet for his hands. He’d pictured them around Aiden’s neck one too many times not to be cautious.
“How’s the job going?” he asked as the first ball went sailing through the target hole. “Beck still giving you a hard time about your office?”
“Nah. He’s been too busy with a new potential client.” Ty tossed him another ball. “Young guy, our age, in fact. Beck seems to really like him.”
“He probably just wants that commission.” Beck wasn’t the type to trust new people. He’d been burned too many times by social climbers to let his guard down.
“Yeah, well, he should. JC’s dad owns half of the oil pumps in Lubbock and Midland. And now he’s expanding into San Antonio. If this deal goes through, it will be the biggest client we’ve ever insured.”
For Beck, that distinction was worth far more than any kind of paycheck. As long as Sean had known him, Beck had been striving to be more than just Harold Kinder’s son. He wanted his own name. His own accomplishments. Funny how he and April were so alike, yet so different in that regard.
The Truth Between Us (Bentwood Book 2) Page 21