Thoughts of her immediately clouded his mood, and he threw the second ball, missing the hole by a good six inches.
“Actually,” Ty said, ignoring Sean’s under the breath curse. He held onto the third ball, despite Sean putting his hands out for it. “I wanted to ask your advice on something.”
“Mine?” That was a first. They all had their roles in the group. His had always been the comic relief. The crazy one who kept things fun and exciting. Not that he really fit that role anymore. “Sure. What is it?”
“Harold offered his last name to me. And I have all the paperwork ready. I just don’t really know how to broach the subject with Beck.”
“Why not? This development isn’t exactly a surprise. You two have always been like brothers.”
“I guess.” Ty threw the football himself and missed the target by at least five yards. There was a reason the guy hadn’t played football in high school. He was too much of a loner to ever cut it in organized sports. Plus, he had terrible hand-eye coordination. “Beck said some things a few months ago that made me think otherwise. And despite my best efforts to make peace, things between us are still… unsettled.”
Sean tossed him a sideways glance. “Because of Caroline?”
Now Ty was the one to look annoyed. “I told you there’s no story there.”
“Maybe not for you, but I saw the way Beck looked at the two of you in his office. You’re kidding yourself if you believe it wasn’t saturated in jealousy.”
Ty sighed and ran a frustrated hand through his hair. “I think Beck’s jealousy goes way beyond Caroline.” He didn’t continue but Sean had a suspicion it was linked to the name change paperwork he hadn’t shown him yet.
“Well, take it from me.” Sean picked up a football and spun it in his hand. “Bad news only gets worse with time. Better he hear it from you than someone else.”
And with that he chucked the ball as far as it would go, hoping it would finally take all thoughts of April and all the resulting pain with it.
Chapter 31
Why was it always when she was alone that catastrophe seemed to strike?
Caroline walked around her car again, hoping maybe it was a bad dream and not her reality. Unfortunately the two flat tires remained just that… flat. Completely undriveable. She squatted down, inspected the rubber for any obvious vandalism.
Nothing at all.
Her relieved sigh came quickly. For a terrifying moment, she’d been catapulted back in time to the nightmare that reigned for too many years. Not only the two years she’d spent with him, but also the most terrifying year—the one she’d spent trying to leave him.
But this wasn’t typical of Jeremiah’s abuse. He liked to terrorize and he especially liked to get the credit for her fear.
This, fortunately, was just plain old bad luck. She’d known when she’d driven by the construction site this morning that the road was too rough. She should have taken a different route, the same one she had all week, but that was another fallout from being traumatized. She’d never again make herself easy prey, and altering her routine was essential.
She stood back up, the area light around the employee parking lot giving her some sense of security, despite hers being the only car left. Not that she expected different on a Friday night. Most people had social lives and a family. She, on the other hand, had a stack of to-do’s before her first ever marketing trip that seemed to grow with each slash on the calendar. The penance for her pride: Beckham had given her an out, and she’d refused to take it. But she’d done enough running in her life, and she certainly wasn’t going to continue that pattern just because things were hard. She was stronger than that.
Annoyance welled in her chest as she kicked her flat tire. Roadside assistance would take an hour, at least, and then they’d charge a premium for a weekend tow. She checked the empty area again, and as she pulled her cell from her purse, she returned to the vacant building in front of her.
Ty’s phone rang and rang until his voicemail cheerfully told her he was unavailable.
She pressed her entry card against the security scanner and slipped back inside. And though she reasoned that it was just a coincidence, the massive pounding of her heart calmed the minute the heavy glass door locked behind her.
Leaning on the receptionist desk, Caroline scrolled through the few contacts she’d entered into her phone. The scarcity of options was depressing, and her finger lingered on the one name she never thought she’d call a month ago. Now, April felt like her second best option.
“Hello.” The answer was so quick it took Caroline a second to register it.
“April? Hey, it’s Caroline.”
“Caroline? Oh, you got a new number.”
“Yeah. A couple weeks ago.” Voices were muffled in the background as were the distinct clanging of dishes. “I’m sorry. It sounds like you’re busy.” She heard a chair scrape, heard April excuse herself and then the noise quieted.
“I’m not busy. What’s wrong?”
Any apprehension she’d had about calling her new friend disappeared. There was only concern in April’s voice. No malice or frustration. Not even April’s typical snarkiness.
“I just left work to find my back two tires are flat. I must have driven over nails or something. I was going to see if you could pick me up, but don’t worry, I can call—”
“I’ll be there in fifteen minutes, twenty max.”
The noise reappeared and Caroline knew she must be walking back to her table. “April, really, you don’t need to drop everything and come.”
“Stay inside the building, and I’ll see you soon.” With that she hung up and Caroline couldn’t help the flush of warm relief that flowed over her chest. April wasn’t the typical girlfriend, but she was someone you definitely wanted on your side in a crisis.
Caroline sat on the lobby sofa, eyes peeled to the parking lot through the large windows. It was as bleak and vacant as before, and yet the shadows of her past seemed to tiptoe out from every corner.
She gripped her hands and lowered her head.
Lord please, don’t ask me to walk through this valley again.
True to her word, April showed up exactly seventeen minutes after their phone call.
As soon as she drove up to the curb, Caroline rushed out the door and into the car. Praying had taken away her panic, but she still wanted nothing more than to get to the security of her warm, familiar apartment.
“Thank you so much,” she said as soon as she pulled the door closed.
April drove a sporty dark blue Audi that should have been the perfect fit for someone her size, but she nearly fell back when she sat. The passenger seat was completely pushed to the rear, the back support more horizontal than vertical.
“Sorry,” April said, glancing over. “You can adjust that seat.”
“Who was in here last? Goliath?”
“Pretty much.” She pursed her lips together and there was a distinct sadness in the way she echoed those words.
Caroline pressed two different switches until the seat returned to a more normal configuration. Only then did she register the long silky dress April was wearing. “You were on a date,” she said, a little frustrated, mostly because she now felt horribly guilty. “I told you I could call someone else.”
April waved her hand dismissively, a diamond tennis bracelet catching the light from the exterior door. “It’s no big deal, really. You did me a favor.” She put the car in drive and eased over a set of speed bumps. Her eyes flashed to the digital time on her dash. “It’s pretty late. Even by my standards.”
“I’m in charge of a five city marketing campaign targeted to millennials who are not only starting new businesses but also moving into decision-making positions within their companies.” The words rolled out in their usual weary spill. It wasn’t that she didn’t believe in the vision, she just wished it didn’t feel like a punishment. “Beckham feels like most of our marketing is mediums that only reach those over forty-f
ive. Younger professionals utilize a myriad of media and are often fluid in their approach. We have to try and pinpoint those areas and track which are effective for generating new business. Needless to say, I’m a little overwhelmed.”
“I can tell.” She checked left and right, then turned on the dark highway leading back to their condos. “Why isn’t Beck helping you with it?”
Caroline stared out the window, the blur of trees a welcome distraction. “I’m sure he would if I asked.” She half expected April to push, but she didn’t, leaving the car silent minus the slight hum of the engine.
They drove five more minutes in the same direction. April, focused on the road. Caroline, lost in her head as she sorted through the fear that kept stirring.
“You need to file a police report. This very well could have been your ex stepping up his game.” Though finally verbalized, the words seemed to be hanging in every corner.
“It wasn’t him,” she said adamantly for both their sakes. “He doesn’t operate this way. It’s too subtle. Believe me, if Jeremiah wanted to mess with my head, he has a myriad of options that he can pull from.”
April glanced sideways and studied her face, likely for signs she was withholding the truth, then the worry in her expression eased. “And the phone calls?”
“They stopped when I got my new number.”
That seemed to relieve the rest of her doubt. “I still think you need to report this.”
“And I still think you’re reading way too much into a small coincidence.” Caroline eyed her friend again, the streetlights illuminating just how elegantly she was dressed. “What did you mean I did you a favor? You don’t look like someone who’s having a rough evening.”
“Looks can be deceptive.” She ran a hand down her dress in model fashion. “This one in particular was supplied by my new boyfriend, along with this lovely bribe.” She shook her hand, the bracelet jiggling against her slim wrist. “Aiden wants me to move to Houston and take a legal position at my dad’s company.”
Caroline held in her surprise, though the shock made no sense. April had said she was close to getting everything she wanted, yet nothing in her tone tonight sounded content. “And you don’t want to go?”
“Of course I do. It’s been the plan since I was ten. It’s what I’ve worked my entire life for.” Her words sounded as hollow as the expression on her face.
A kinship bubbled in Caroline’s chest, just like it had the night of their crazy food fight. God had wanted her to share that night, to offer the wisdom she’d gained through her darkest trial, but she’d been rebellious to the conviction, refusing the vulnerability that came with sharing bumps and bruises in her life. Those barriers were now stripped away, her weakness exposed through an untimely phone call and two flat tires.
She glanced at the car’s ceiling, feeling as inept as she had in that dirty old diner with Ty months ago. Okay, Lord, you win. I’ll do this one more time.
Hopefully, April would be as open as Ty had been, but either way, she was done resisting. “You say this job is what you’ve worked for your whole life, but one important lesson I’ve learned this past year is that sometimes, the things we desperately reach for end up destroying the person we’re meant to be.”
“Been there. Done that,” April said, missing the entire point of what Caroline was trying to convey. “My entire relationship with Sean was a rebellion.” She turned the corner in to their condo’s parking lot and parked in her reserved space. “I’m a Duncan. I know exactly who I’m meant to be.”
“Then why haven’t you said yes?”
“I have no idea.” Her weighted sigh seemed to fill the small space with anguish. “I start to, and then, I just… can’t.”
Caroline twisted in her seat, watching her friend as she stared down at the steering wheel. “In that case, may I ask you a question that might irritate you?”
Her shoulders shook with a chuckle. “With that lead in, how can I refuse?”
“Do you like that person? I mean Aiden aside, Sean aside, even your family name aside, do you like who you’ve become?”
April turned her head and stared at Caroline like she asked an impossible question. Maybe she had, but it was an important one.
“Because it wasn’t until I was able to navigate that question that anything changed in my life.” Caroline saw a flicker of helplessness in those normally cold, green eyes and finally conceded to God’s push for her be fully transparent with her new friend. “Choosing to like who you are isn’t a simple yes or no. It requires you to step back, analyze your life and your influences.” She squeezed April’s hand, reassured when April squeezed back. “For years, I allowed my self-worth to be defined by how well I behaved, or how successful I was at my job, and sadly by what other people thought of me. Just like you do, when you say Duncan like it’s the only definition required to sum up the whole of the person you are.”
It was miniscule, but a flicker of moisture appeared at the corner of April’s eyes.
“April, you are a lot of different parts and pieces and experiences and personality. All unique and all wholly special. But even if none of that were true, you’d still be immeasurably valuable.” Caroline took a deep breath, praying her words were making at least some sense. “The reason I said navigate is because when I stopped and asked myself that question, the answer was no. I had become someone I didn’t respect or even recognize. But turning that answer into a yes has been a far greater journey than just walking away from Jeremiah or choosing to come to Bentwood. And for you, it’s going to be more than accepting or not accepting a job.”
Caroline twisted in her seat, holding April’s hand tighter. “I believe in a higher power. And through that faith, I’ve slowly been able to accept His unconditional love despite all my many imperfections. And until you can do the same, you’re never going to find that peace within yourself that I can see you searching for.”
One small tear slipped over April’s lash but it felt like a mountain tumbling down. “I don’t know how to do what you’re suggesting.”
“That’s okay.” Caroline offered a warm smile, one that came with no judgment or expectation. “When you’re ready to try, I’ll be right here.”
Chapter 32
The drive to her parent’s home in the Woodlands took thirty minutes longer than it should have, the GPS tracking her to arrive fifteen minutes after the party was supposed to begin. Aiden had already called twice, annoyed by her tardiness and the fact that she wouldn’t leave work early.
She couldn’t find a way to care, not when this ridiculous shindig did nothing but distract from the only thing that mattered.
Uncle Bradley was home. Released two days ago and was now living in a grand mother-in-law’s bungalow behind her parents’ house.
Tonight’s party was a farce. Twenty or so guests, dressed in their finest wear to welcome home a man who’d spent the last several years suffering from a depression no one bothered to address.
The fanfare was classic Duncan theology. Avoid conflict and turn unpleasant events into an opportunity. In this case, Charles and Claire Duncan got to show their friends that they once again had all their extended family nice and neat and under control.
The Woodland’s sign came into view and soon after mansions began to dot the land every half-mile or so. Gated entries became bright beacons against the setting sun and her GPS chirped that her turn was coming shortly. Up on the right, only a few hundred feet away, sat the home she hadn’t once visited.
She eased her car to a stop in front of the sprawling iron gate and pressed in the code Aiden had texted her earlier.
The gate split and opened gracefully, exposing a three-story mansion twice the size of the one they’d sold in Bentwood. April nearly laughed at the excessive display of grandeur. At least ten cars were parked along the circle drive, bumper to bumper to make room for everyone.
She pulled behind the last open spot, and killed the engine with a flick of her wrist. This was home n
ow. A new beginning and yet nothing through her windshield felt remotely inviting. She missed her old driveway, the one she’d fallen and scraped her knee on as a child. She missed the creak in the staircase that sounded the alarm the night she’d tried to sneak out with her friends.
She missed her brother.
This was the longest they’d ever gone without speaking, and she knew if she would just take that step, Andrew would reciprocate. But calling him opened her up to his disappointment, and she knew without hearing it from his lips that he would loathe the idea of her dating Aiden and even more so, vehemently be opposed to her taking a job with her father’s company.
It was as if his and Journey’s thoughts had become entwined with Caroline’s.
You sound like Mom.
You’re slipping away, becoming someone I don’t recognize.
Do you like who you’ve become?
She shoved her car door open, annoyed by the way their words made her feel itchy and unsatisfied. What did it matter anyway? Her destiny was set long before she was ever given a voice in the matter. And as inviting as Caroline’s words were about letting go of the family identity and embracing a new one, she had no true understanding of how impossibly hard it would be to take that step.
Casting away thoughts that would only ruin her evening, April straightened the black cocktail dress her mother suggested she wear and hurried toward the party she was already late for.
Thick white pillars flanked the entry, each twelve feet high and regal, as if it were alive and looking down its long aristocratic nose at her. Fitting for a Duncan residence.
The door opened before she lifted her hand to knock, Aiden standing on the other side in a fine navy suit. He’d been quick to forgive her, the two of them pressing forward as if Sean had never been a thought. He’d even kept the news from her parents, though that omission had caused a sense of indebtedness she didn’t care for.
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