Not Another Vampire Book

by Cassandra Gannon

  “Right.” How could she explain things to this blockhead in the quickest, most believable way? “Well, Slade you are so magnificent, that sometimes lesser men might feel jealous.”

  “Oh my gods.” Damien actually lowered the sword and turned to glare at her. “You can’t be serious.”

  “It’s for the greater good.” She hissed back.

  Slade gazed off at nothing, for a long moment. He was buying this. In the original text, To’kel was a baddie and, of all the characters, Slade always seemed the most responsive to shortcuts back to the actual plot. Why wouldn’t he be? He was the star. “I don’t judge the lesser men. I treat them as I would any helpful servant. To’kel should feel privileged to be my lucky kinsman.”

  “I know. His ingratitude is tragic for you.”

  “I must persevere in the face of his betrayal, of course, but my birthday celebration will be marred.”

  Damien let out a disgusted sound. “I’m voting for To’kel to kill you.”

  Kara ignored the commentary. “Now listen, Slade, I know you’re too smart to fall for any tricks.”

  “Oh, I am.” He agreed, modestly.

  “Right. But, I worry that To’kel is plotting to kill you. So, you just concentrate on avoiding him and I’ll get Melessa for you. We’ll bring her to you, anytime or place you say, alright?”

  “No, we won’t.” Damien snapped.

  “First, I shall confront To’kel and smite him down. Only then will it be safe for my gentle bride on the Vampire Isle.”

  “Right, but...”

  “No true cousin of mine would plot to hand my Eternal-One over to Damien. How could she survive the sorcerer’s captivity? Perhaps, To’kel is adopted and that explains his bad blood.”

  “But, see, Melessa’s with us now.” Kara explained. “Damien and I already have her, and we want to give her back, so...”

  “No we don’t, Kara Lynn.”

  “Do not seek to confuse me, Witch! I shall comply with your demands for her release. Anything for my Eternal-One. No price is too high to have her back in my mighty arms.”

  “I don’t have any demands for her release. If you would just...”

  “Tomorrow you will produce her or suffer my wrath!”

  “Tomorrow? You can have her now.”

  Damien reached up to pinch the bridge of his nose. It was impossible to know if he was more irritated with her or Slade, at this point.

  “Silence!” Slade cried. “Tomorrow at sunset, you will bring my bride here to the Fair. I will have my queen and secure my throne! Hail King Slade! Hail King me!” He glanced over at Kara in annoyance when she didn’t start hailing.

  She shook her head in amazement. “You’re such an idiot.” Probably not the most politic thing to tell the Vamp, but it just had to be said.

  Damien smirked. The guy really did have an abysmal sense of humor.

  “Fine.” Slade muttered, sulkily. “I’ll leave you to your villainy then. Until tomorrow, Witch.”

  With that, the Vampire King took off flying. It was quite an exit. Like Peter Pan’s bigger, blood sucking clone, he swept upward with no visible means of propulsion. His legs craned, his arms outstretched, he sailed through the hole in the roof and out into the night. In his wake, he left a miasma of magical sparkles that glittered in the moonlight.

  Kara had never seen a more ridiculous sight in her entire thirty-two years on the plant. At least, the dragons had wings. Wings had some dignity. Wings didn’t twinkle.

  She stared after Slade’s trail of pixie dust and then looked over at Damien.

  He arched a brow. “I can’t believe you kissed that jackass.”

  “You know what you can kiss, Vlad?” She grinned at him, sweetly.

  Black eyes gleamed. “Well, I’m open to suggestions, but...”

  A horrible shrieking cut off what was promising to be an interesting discussion. It was the loudest, most painful sound she’d ever hear; like the ultrasonic squeals of bats dialed up to maximum power and projected directly into her head.

  “Shit!” Kara’s hands came up to cover her ears, trying to block out the god-awful noise. It was scrambling her brain, making it impossible to think or stand. She sank to the ground, cringing against the onslaught.

  “No.” Damien grabbed her before she collapsed on a pile of shattered glass. “Kara Lynn, concentrate on me.” His ebony gaze held hers. “Look at me and I will help you with the pain.”

  “What is that?!” She couldn’t be sure of her volume. She couldn’t hear anything but the endless, sustained screeching and Damien’s dark voice somehow reaching her through the cacophony.

  “It is zombies. They are too much for human ears. You need to concentrate on me.”

  “Zombies!” He’d been serious about that?! “Where the hell did they come from?”

  “I don’t know. Concentrate on me, cari.” Damien stared at her intently and he must have done something with his powers, because the noise level suddenly became bearable. It was still like nails on a chalkboard, but at least Kara could function.

  “Thank you.” She touched his face in gratitude.

  “Hold onto me.” He dropped his sword and picked her up, lifting her into his arms like she didn’t weigh anything, at all. “Do they not have zombies in your time?”

  “No.”

  “Well, they are like vermin. Controlled vermin. They have no minds of their own, but they can be programmed. These must be on a mission for their master. They are poisonous, so don’t let them bite you.”

  “I’ll try not to, believe me.” Kara assured him. Her ears were still ringing from the zombies’ inhuman cries. She hung onto his neck, her head swiveling around to look towards the wide doorway as the sound got closer.

  Grey-skinned Night of the Living Dead rejects lumbered into the ballroom. Tattered clothes fell from their bodies, their sightless eyes fixed on nothing as they stumbled forward. Beyond them, she could see even more coming, arms stretched out before them like mummies. Hundreds of them lurched through the World’s Fair, headed straight for her.

  “Damien?” It was barely a whisper.

  “Someone has sent them after you. Someone knew you’d be here.” Damien’s jaw tightened. “To’kel.”

  “The Vampire is a zombie master?” Damn, she just really said that, didn’t she?

  “No, only a necromancer can control the dead. To’kel must have hired one.”

  “People can hire necromancers?” Since when was that a possible? Since when did To’kel have the balls to try? It sure hadn’t been in Tanya’s text. That little Vampire punk was rewriting the plot even faster than Kara.

  Behind them, the glass doors to the ballroom shattered, more zombies came pouring in and surrounded them. Damien swore and stepped back into the center of the ballroom. “I think it would be best to leave.”

  “Hey, I’m okay with good, old-fashioned retreat. Shit!” One of the creatures got close enough to grasp at her and Damien’s powers sent it splintering into several neat pieces.

  The body parts kept coming. The zombie’s shriveled arm slithered forward across the floor, reaching up. Kara realized that it wasn’t really after her...

  ...It was trying to steal Eternal Passion at Sunset.

  “It’s the book.” She hugged it closer to her chest, protectively. “To’kel sent them for the book.” She’d kill that slimy bastard!

  Damien’s foot came down, crushing the creeping appendage with a ruthless twist of his boot heel. “That damn manuscript is cursed. I told you that, didn’t I? You never listen.” His powers crashed into several more extras from The Walking Dead, breaking them apart like sawdust.

  And still they came.

  “It is pointless to try and kill beings that are already dead. We would be here forever.” Damien shook his head. “I know that you dislike teleporting, but we could...”

  “Hell, yes! Teleport.” Seasickness sure beat zombie venom. She held tight to Damien as the live-and-in-person Romero film drew close
r. “Just go!”

  An outraged bellow echoed from outside, even louder than the zombie noise. “You shall pay for this, my illegitimate cousin from hell!”

  Slade.

  “Oh no!” Kara lunged free of Damien’s grasp, knowing instantly what had happened. “To’kel has Slade!” Adrenalin and panic drove her into action. She landed on the ground and bounced right back up, dodging zombies on her way to nearest broken window.

  “Kara Lynn! Fuck.” Undead foes went flying, before they got close enough to touch her. Kara didn’t even have to slow her pace. Damien cleared the path for her as she hurried forward. “Must you run off every time we are attacked?”

  “To’kel has Slade! He’s going to feed him to the zombies or something!”

  “So what?” Damien sounded genuinely baffled as to why that was a bad idea.

  She ignored him and dashed out into the night, scanning for any sign of his royal pain-in-the-ass-ness. If that lummox got himself zombie-fied, she was in big trouble. No romance novel ended with the hero turning into a cadaverous brain eater.

  “Slade?!” She looked around the deserted White City. Well, not really deserted. The living humans had fled, but the reanimated corpses were certainly out in force. Several of them grabbed for the manuscript as she dashed past. Their bodies were magically twisted into horrible new shapes for their trouble. Damien wasn’t a subtle man.

  “Kara Lynn, this is not safe. There are too many.”

  She flashed Damien a desperate look as he came up behind her. He waved a hand and another zombie was eviscerated. She barely noticed. “We need to find Slade. To’kel decided to hold his ambush, after all, and I think it’s actually working. We have to do something to save Slade, before it’s too late.”

  “You want me to rescue the Vampire?” Damien spaced out the words in disbelief, like he couldn’t possibly be understanding that right. “You’re not serious.”

  “You have to help him, Damien!”

  “No.”

  “Slade’s in trouble!”

  “Good. I hope he dies. I believe I’ve been very clear about that.”

  Another bellow ripped through the night and Kara spun around looking for the source. The glowing outline of the Ferris Wheel lit up the sky, drawing her eyes. Highlighted against it, she saw Slade flying around up there, having a sword fight with To’kel and about fifteen other guys.

  “Oh shit.” Those had to be To’kel’s men, the Dark Vampires or whatever.

  Not good.

  “Damien...?”

  “I’m not helping him.” Damien repeated, stubbornly. “It will never happen.”

  “Damien!”

  “No! He is my mortal enemy and I will never fucking help him!”

  “Fine. Then, I’ll do it myself.” Hiking up her skirts, she started running for the midway. The zombie infestation lessened as she drew closer to the Ferris Wheel. The ride was gigantic. Twenty-five stories straight up. The Vampires crashed into its sides as they battled, their large supernatural bodies rocking the whole structure.

  “Stop!” As she watched, eleven of To’kel’s men grabbed Slade, trying to wrestle him into submission. Electric lights exploded one after another as the men slid down the spokes of the ride, making it harder to see. Kara dug into her purse, which she had looped around her shoulder. Damn it, why didn’t she carry around a gun or something? Instead, she came up with a portable pink flashlight. Clicking it on, she aimed it at the combatants, spotlighting them.

  “Witch!” Slade looked bewildered and relieved to see her standing below. The Vampire King was putting up a pretty good fight, but there was just no way he could win against those numbers. They’d gotten his sword and were trying to tie him up with some kind of golden rope. “Use your magic book! Something is going very wrong here!”

  “My gods.” To’kel sounded awed. “You can create light and predict the future, yet you waste these powers on Damien and Slade? What are you, woman?”

  “A book editor.” Since it was the only thing she had handy, Kara hurled the metal flashlight at To’kel’s head. They were close enough to the ground that she only missed by about ten feet. God, she sucked at sports. “Now, let him go, you son-of-a-bitch!”

  He chuckled at that. “I don’t think so. How did you like the zombies, by the way? Bet your book didn’t tell you they were coming, did it?”

  She glowered up at him. “You have no idea the mess you’re making, right now.”

  “Yes, this is not how it’s supposed to go!” Slade shouted. “I am the greatest warrior of our people and you can’t treat me this way! I am destined to win!”

  To’kel smirked. “You’re the biggest asshole I’ve ever met in my life. I can’t believe I ever listened to you. My men and I have outsmarted you and now we’ll take the Vampire Isle. Come tomorrow, your kingdom will be ours!”

  “But, tomorrow’s my birthday celebration!” Slade gasped, indignantly.

  To’kel shook his head in disgust and looked back at Kara. “I see now you were right about my first plan to kill him.” He dropped gracefully to the ground in front of her and she resisted the urge to take a step back. “It was so poorly thought out. So stupid. I would have surely died. You weren’t trying to kill me when you confronted me in the bar. You were trying to save me.”

  “No, I really wasn’t.”

  He disregarded that. “You make things clear with your magicks, don’t you, Witch? You clear away the fog. For the first time, I see everything and it is beautiful.”

  This was bad.

  He should have been dead, by now. Thanks to Kara, though, they’d skipped his death scene and now nothing stood in his way. Having escaped his fate, To’kel was completely unfettered by Tanya’s limited imagination. Free from the constraints of the story, the Vampire was running wild. Like her, he didn’t technically exist in the real Eternal Passion at Sunset. Not anymore. He was making stuff up as he went alone, slipping through plot holes and taking advantage of the other characters’ predictable ruts.

  Yeah, very, very bad.

  “You have to stop this.” She warned. “We don’t know what will happen if you kill Slade. So far, everything can be fixed at the end of the book. But, if he dies, you might doom us all. This all just might... stop.” They could all wink out of existence, for all she knew.

  “I guess we’ll find out tomorrow, then.” To’kel leaned closer to her. Slade will miss his appointed Bonding Day with his Eternal-One and I’ll become king. Then, I‘ll execute him and take what always should have been mine.”

  “The other Vampires...”

  “…Will do as they’re told. They’re sheep. Everyone’s been a sheep. I see that, now. You helped me see it.” His eyes slid down her body. “I didn’t understand what Damien saw in you, at first, but now I get it. You’re special. Different. Killing you would be a mistake. I can use you. If you just give me that book --if you use your powers for me-- I’ll reward you, Witch. I’ll make you my queen.”

  “Tempting. But, I’m gonna pass.” Kara instinctively glanced over her shoulder, looking for Damien. She didn’t see his big, dark form anywhere. Had he really abandoned her?

  Jerk.

  “Okay, listen.” She turned back to To’kel. “I imagine it’s been stifling for you. Tanya’s idiotic plot making you do stupid things and then Slade forcing you to work as a stable boy or whatever. It must have been rough.”

  “Working with my horses is an honor!”

  Neither of them glanced in Slade’s direction. The other Vampires had completely subdued him with the rope, tying up his huge body so he couldn’t escape. From the way it glowed, Kara assumed the bindings were magic. Unfortunately, Slade’s captors had skipped the coordinating “enchanted, glowing gag” to shut him up.

  Kara met To’kel’s manic eyes. He looked like a kid who’d just been given a bunch of dynamite to play with. Gleefully bent on destruction. “I swear to you, this is just a romance novel.” She held up Eternal Passion at Sunset. “It tells me what
should be happening in the story and that’s how I know you’re screwing it up. The book isn’t magic. It can’t help you.”

  “I’ll be the judge of that, Witch.” He smiled and it wasn’t a pretty sight. “Why don’t you just let me read that little love story for myself?” He started forward.

  Kara’s eyes widened, belatedly wondering if taking on fifteen armed Vampires by herself had really been her best idea. She shifted the manuscript, so it was behind her back. “No, I don’t think...” She broke off with a yelp as To’kel grabbed her arm and shook her.

  “Give me that fucking book!”

  And right about then, To’kel’s head rotated around like something from The Exorcist.

  It wrenched to the back, bones snapping with sickening, wet cracks, so his face looked off in the wrong direction. His fingers went lax and Kara stumbled away from him in shock. His huge body hit the ground, withering. Still alive, he tried to push his head back to the front while he bellowed for his men.

  Three other Vampires were already coming to his aid. Swooping down to from above, they headed straight for her...

  ...And were promptly blasted out of the sky.

  Invisible surface-to-Vamp missiles slammed into them, sending all three men careening out-of-control. They crashed into the side of the Ferris Wheel and fell towards the ground like wounded birds. The guys holding Slade froze as if they couldn’t understand what happened.

  Vampiric eyes fixed on Kara and she heard the word “Witch” whispered in overlapping voices. They thought she’d done something. That it was her powers at work.

  Kara knew better.

  All the magic in her life came from one surly, gorgeous, taking-his-own-sweet-time-to-lend-a-hand sorcerer. Her mouth curved, turning to look for him in the tangle of midway booths and zombies.

  Slade gave a chortle of satisfaction. “Ha-hah! The Witch is on my side! She knows that I am the true Vampire King.”

  “Shut the hell up.” Damien stalked out of the darkness, greatcoat swirling against his legs. “Kara Lynn, come here. Now.” He was pissed. Fury and frustration came off him in waves, as he swept towards her.

  Highhanded tone or not, that actually seemed like a good idea. Kara hurried over so she was safely beside him, grabbing her flashlight off the ground as she went. “I thought you weren’t going to help Slade.” She whispered.