Doug and Carlie: Lessons in Love (Doug & Carlie Series Book 4)

by Lisa Smartt

  Doug and Carlie:

  Lessons in Love

  by Lisa Smartt

  Other books by Lisa Smartt:

  Doug and Carlie Series:

  Doug and Carlie

  Doug and Carlie’s Love Conspiracy

  Doug and Carlie: Matchmakers on a Mission

  The Smartt View: Life, Love, and Cluttered Closets

  The Smartt View 2: Life in Progress

  www.lisasmartt.com

  Copyright 2014

  ISBN 978-0-9914856-1-1

  Front and back cover photo by Yana Godenko, shutterstock.com

  To every person imprisoned by regret,

  There is hope.

  There is love.

  There is home.

  Table of contents

  Chapter 1, CARLIE: Freedom, Sweet Freedom

  Chapter 2, CARLIE: Sharon Recap (If you’ve already read the first three books, you can skip this chapter. But I wouldn’t, ‘cause skipping chapters gives you that weird feeling of incompletion that may cause you to lose sleep at night.)

  Chapter 3, CARLIE: Who in the World is Matthew Prescott?

  Chapter 4, CARLIE: Welcome, Matthew! Oh, And What Exactly Did You Do?

  Chapter 5, CARLIE: Friday Night is for Rednecks and Movie Stars

  Chapter 6, CARLIE: Matchmaking Principle #1: Don’t Get the Cart Before the Horse (Principle #2: Ignore Principle #1 As Needed)

  Chapter 7, CARLIE: Aunt Charlotte vs. Billy Smith

  Chapter 8, CARLIE: Hollywood Comes to Sharon

  Chapter 9, CARLIE: Shayla McGuire Comes to Town

  Chapter 10, Carlie: Hollywood Comes Knockin’

  Chapter 11, CARLIE: The Hard Sell Never Works or Does it?

  Chapter 12, CARLIE: Winner, Winner…Chicken Dinner

  Chapter 13, SARAH: Rose Bushes Always Have Thorns

  Chapter 14, SARAH: Carlie’s Right About Secrets

  Chapter 15, CARLIE: What Have I Done? (Sadly, I Have To Ask This Question a Lot)

  Chapter 16, CARLIE: (one month later) Aunt Charlotte Lost Three Pounds and Hollywood Came to Sharon

  Chapter 17, SARAH: Learning to Take Chances

  Chapter 18, CARLIE: Who Needs CNN? We’ve Got Aunt Charlotte

  Chapter 19, CARLIE: That’s a Wrap

  Chapter 20, SARAH: Mysterious Matthew Prescott

  Chapter 21, CARLIE: We’re All Gonna Be Famous (Lord, Help Us)

  Chapter 22, CARLIE: Who’s Afraid of the Big Black Car?

  Chapter 23, SARAH: Unraveling the Mysterious Matthew

  Chapter 24, SARAH: For the Love of Chester

  Chapter 25, SARAH: Heart to Heart

  Chapter 26, CARLIE: Doctor, Doctor, Give Me the News…

  Chapter 27, SARAH: Bad Times in the Good Times Machine

  Chapter 28, SARAH: There’s More to Life than Good Salsa

  Chapter 29, CARLIE: Will This Circle Be Unbroken?

  Chapter 30, SARAH: Learning to Live Again

  Chapter 31, CARLIE: “The Notebook” Comes to Sharon, Tennessee

  Chapter 32, Sarah: Joy Multiplied and Sorrow Cut in Half

  Chapter 33, CARLIE: I’m Grieving. Pass the Potato Salad

  Chapter 34, SARAH: The Blessing

  Chapter 35, SARAH: Better to Have Loved and Lost…

  Chapter 36, CARLIE: Tuesday Morning, Full of Grace

  Chapter 37, CARLIE: Let’s Stand in Support of Sparkin’

  Chapter 38, SARAH: Let’s Give Them Somethin’ to Talk About

  Chapter 39, CARLIE: Here Comes Trouble

  Chapter 40, SARAH: I’m Not Julie…My Name is Sarah

  Chapter 41, CARLIE: The Little Black Dress

  Chapter 42, SARAH: If This is a Dream, Don’t Wake Me Up!

  Chapter 43, CARLIE: A Fight and a Funeral

  Chapter 44, SARAH: No Long Good-byes

  Chapter 45, CARLIE: Saturday Morning Sharon Report

  Chapter 46, SARAH: Better to Have Loved and Lost…

  Chapter 47, CARLIE: Gravy Covers a Multitude of Heartaches

  Chapter 48, SARAH: Not Ready to Shake My Groove Thing

  Chapter 49, CARLIE: From the Mouths of Babes…

  Chapter 50, SARAH: Suffering Through “Sweet Southern Freedom”

  Chapter 51, CARLIE: If Only Coconut Cake Could Cure a Broken Heart

  Chapter 52, Carlie: Livin’ it Up at the Hotel California (Did using that phrase violate any kind of copyright laws? If so, contact my lawyer. I mean, please recommend a good lawyer.)

  Chapter 53, CARLIE: Country Mice and the California Coast

  Chapter 54, SARAH: Sweet Southern Surveillance

  Chapter 55, CARLIE: Be It Ever So Humble, There’s No Place Like Home

  Chapter 56, CARLIE: Shoot a Monkey

  Chapter 57, SARAH: Bury the Hatchet…and Leave it Buried

  Chapter 58, SARAH: Sweet Southern Freedom Turns Sour

  Chapter 59, CARLIE: Aunt Charlotte Needs a Shovel

  Chapter 60, CARLIE: The Moment Life Changed

  Chapter 61, SARAH: You’ve Got a Friend…Lots of Friends.

  Chapter 62, SARAH: Shepherd’s Pie and the Little Black Dress

  Chapter 63, CARLIE: The End is Always the Beginning

  ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

  Chapter 1, CARLIE: Freedom, Sweet Freedom

  Prisons scare me. It all started when Pappa was unlawfully imprisoned in Commerce, Georgia, on September 19th of my third grade year. Pappa and Meemaw had taken me to the county fair that Saturday because my mama thought fairs were complete nonsense. She said, “Those carnival people smell like they haven’t had a bath in ten years and all that food on the midway will rot your teeth!” But I didn’t listen. I didn’t listen because Mama also thought the mailman smelled bad just because he had long gray hair pulled back in a ponytail. But I’d gotten up close to the mailman plenty of times and he just smelled like Old Spice and Cheetos.

  Mama also thought nearly every food and drink known to man would rot my teeth. Anytime she didn’t want me to do something, she would say, “Carlie Ann, that will rot your teeth.” When I was eleven, I asked for a puppy for Christmas. She said, “No. That’ll rot your…” But then she caught herself and realized a professional educator could not in good conscience tell me that a Golden Retriever would cause the decay of my molars. Even Mama had a twinge of conscience now and then.

  Back to the story of Pappa’s imprisonment. We were walking down the midway on that fateful day. Meemaw held my left hand while I held a paper cone of cotton candy in my right hand. The mass of light pink cotton candy was bigger than my head and sometimes a piece would fly off and get caught in my blonde braids. Pappa would laugh and pull it gently out of my hair. When I finished the great mound of sugar, he placed his favorite monogrammed handkerchief under a water faucet by the corn dog stand so he could wipe my sticky hands. In the process, we got up real close to the corn dog man. I wanted to call my mama right then and tell her he didn’t smell like he hadn’t had a bath in ten years. He just smelled like corn dogs and dried ketchup. But when Pappa was bent down at the faucet, well, that’s when all heck broke loose.

  Our mayor, a red-headed middle-aged man with thick black glasses, walked up behind Pappa and said with a loud shout, “Arrest this man! Go ahead, Horace, arrest him!” Horace was the preacher at First Methodist and I didn’t even know preachers were allowed to arrest people. But Horace did the mayor’s bidding. He held Pappa’s hands behind his back and began to walk him toward the big pavilion where we had just left a big jar of Meemaw’s bread-and-butter pickles. We felt certain Meemaw would win first place this year ‘cause Cora Dempsey was down in her ba
ck and living with her daughter in Nashville.

  I shouted at the top of my lungs, “No, he’s my pappa! He’s my pappa! He would never do anything wrong!”

  Pappa grinned and said, “Honey, it’s okay. Really. It’s not what you think.”

  But it was what I thought. My pappa had been arrested by a Methodist preacher right there on the midway next to the corn dog stand. Now I realized why Mama and Daddy always said Mayor Clawson wasn’t worth shootin’ and that he was only the mayor because his daddy had been a fine high school principal.

  I had to run in order to keep up with Pappa and the preacher. I made another failed attempt to secure his freedom, “Mr. preacher man! Mr. preacher man, please let my pappa go!”

  The skinny young preacher just laughed and patted me on the head. When he did, I smelled a horrible stench coming from under his arm. Oh, the irony of it all. I knew Mama would never ever say the Methodist preacher smelled bad because he graduated from college and his hair was cut military style.

  We soon arrived at a make-shift prison right next to the Chamber of Commerce booth in the big pavillion. A chubby white-haired lady came running straight toward me. “Here, Sweetheart! A free balloon courtesy of the Chamber!”

  I shouted with disgust, “No ma’am! They’re putting my pappa in jail!”

  The smelly preacher put Pappa into an old rusty cattle trailer and locked the outside door with a combination lock that was just like the one my middle school neighbor, Miranda, had on her locker at school. I knew for sure because Miranda sat on her front porch the whole first week of August practicing opening that lock. One time she threw the lock down and yelled out a cuss word and her mama made her brush her teeth with a bar of Lava soap.

  Mayor Clawson stepped up on an old yellow wooden platform and yelled out with way too much enthusiasm. “William T. Bookman has now been imprisoned!! Yes, imprisoned! Sonny Davis of Davis Insurance Group made a $100 donation to the Commerce Quilting Guild to assure his capture. He will now need ten fine citizens to donate $5 each to the Guild in order to secure his release!”

  Meemaw reached down and took my hand, “See, Honey? It’s not real. It’s just a way of raising money. Your pappa is fine, just fine.”

  But I thought the whole thing was beyond ridiculous. And I couldn’t imagine how my poor pappa felt all locked up in that old rusty cattle trailer. I put my arm through the grates and said, “It’s okay, Pappa. I’m here!”

  Thirteen minutes later enough people had donated to the stupid quilting guild to secure my grandfather’s pardon. He walked out of the trailer holding up his arms and yelling, “Thank you, one and all! I never doubted you would come through for me! The ladies of the quilting guild acknowledge your kind-hearted generosity!”

  He knew I had been terribly worried, so he knelt down beside me, looked into my eyes and said something I will never forget. “Carlie Ann, I was never scared. I wasn’t. It takes more than metal bars to imprison a man’s spirit.”

  Chapter 2, CARLIE: Sharon Recap (If you’ve already read the first three books, you can skip this chapter. But I wouldn’t, ‘cause skipping chapters gives you that weird feeling of incompletion that may cause you to lose sleep at night.)

  Other than Pappa, the only person I know who has been in prison is Dusty McConnell. Years ago he did time for stealing cars and for what he would call “overall misguided mayhem.” But now Dusty is happily married, the father of four great kids, and a business owner.

  I guess I need to back up and fill you in on my wonderful, albeit sometimes bizarre, life here in Sharon, Tennessee. My husband, Doug, was raised here in Sharon. He graduated from the University of Tennessee in Knoxville but, years ago, he returned to his West Tennessee home to work at the First National Bank of Sharon. At the time, I was working at the Dollar General Store in Commerce, Georgia. We met through his great uncle. By the time we married, I had become a best-selling author. That story is recorded in a book called, “Doug and Carlie.” I’ve now had three books on the New York Times Best Sellers list which proves that some people get tired of high-minded literature and prefer to read a chubby country woman’s ramblings about, well, about most anything. Our son, James, is five years old and beginning Kindergarten in a few weeks. He can’t sit still at all so I hope they do a lot of “active” learning. Parents of boys always hope for a kindergarten teacher who understands the importance of “active” learning.

  The best part about being a writer? Last year we got a Christmas card from the Queen of England. I know. She probably never even touched that card. Plus, I’m sure they sent out thousands. But still. Oh, and the answer to your next question is no, I’m not sure why she always carries a purse, especially in a Christmas picture. And yes, I’m surprised no one has written a book pretending to be one of her dogs. Note to self: Write a book from the perspective of the Queen’s Corgi. Hire a linguist so it will sound sufficiently British.

  Clara McConnell is Dusty’s wife and one of my very best friends. She was my roommate in Commerce, Georgia, years ago when I worked at the Dollar General. I fixed her up with Dusty and they got married a few years ago, adopted three great kids, and then had a baby last year. Well, I can’t really claim to be their matchmaker. Long story. No time to tell it. That whole beautiful tale is recorded in a book called “Doug and Carlie’s Love Conspiracy.” Much to my chagrin, they named their new baby Beauregard. Thankfully, in honor of his future on public school playgrounds, they call him Beau. Everyone loves Dusty and Clara and all four kids. And only my mama refers to Dusty as “that nice mechanic who did time in the slammer.”

  When my first book was made into a movie, I became even more famous and that’s also when I met one of my other best friends, Ashley Harrison Robertson. Doug and I first met her when she was our waitress at a diner in Hollywood. But then she ended up being the star of the movie based on my book, “A Single Woman’s Guide to Ordinary.” She even got an Oscar nomination for that role. The year after that she got another Oscar nomination for a movie called, “Over the Hills.” When she talks about her journey from waitress to famous actress, she uses the term “surreal.” If you don’t know what that means, don’t bother looking it up. It kind of means surprisingly blessed. But the most amazing part is that she ended up marrying one of our best friends, Dave Robertson. Dave was a widower and father of a beautiful little boy named Collin when he married Ashley. That story is recorded in a book called, “Doug and Carlie: Matchmakers on a Mission.” Now Dave, Ashley, and Collin split their time between Hollywood and Sharon, Tennessee. That’s called diversifying one’s geographic portfolio. Or that’s what I call it anyway.

  Okay. So everyone should be caught up on the players in our diverse little community. Well, I also should tell you about Doug’s Uncle Bart and Aunt Charlotte because they’re just, they’re just beyond words really. Aunt Charlotte is a combination of Aunt Bee from the Andy Griffith Show and LuLu Roman from Hee Haw. Uncle Bart is like a combination of your favorite high school shop teacher and the gruff old man who changes your oil at the Shell station. Jerry Conner is one of our local law enforcement officers. He’s in his late 20’s and loves telling about all the times he’s been called upon to protect Ashley from misguided fans. Jerry keeps getting a crew cut down at the barber shop even though it makes his face look rounder. Oh, and then there’s Chester and Ida who remind you of really sweet, really old people everyone thought would be dead by now, but who keep on living. They say it’s because they put out a garden every year. Note to self: Eat more fried squash.

  Chapter 3, CARLIE: Who in the World is Matthew Prescott?

  Some people with a criminal record spend their whole lives trying to hide it. Embarrassment, I guess. But not Dusty McConnell. Oh, no. He’s spoken about his time in prison at most every Rotary and Kiwanis Club meeting in West Tennessee. He even spoke at an all-school assembly at the high school last year. It doesn’t seem like Dusty is trying to forget about his past. Seems instead he’s trying to use it to help other misguided youth.
I know. There aren’t very many misguided youth in the local Rotary Club. I think his goal there is to help old people who aren’t misguided…to understand those who are and maybe show a little compassion.

  Well, anyway, last Wednesday night, he stood up at prayer meeting and made an announcement, a big announcement, an announcement that ended up causing quite a stir in Sharon, Tennessee. He cleared his throat and then smiled real big as though we were in for a real treat. “My good friend, Matthew Prescott, will be arriving here in Sharon this Monday. He’ll be living in Chester and Ida’s guest room for a while until he finds a place of his own. And he’ll start working for me at the shop on Wednesday. I hope you’ll all pray for him and I expect you’ll be plenty nice to him ‘cause that’s what you do. It’s what you did for me.”

  Dusty didn’t say it out loud, but it didn’t take long for the folks of Sharon to find out that Matthew Prescott wasn’t just a friend from high school or a second cousin from St. Louis. No. As Mama would say, “They met in the slammer.” As word started spreading, the folks of Sharon weren’t quite as understanding as Dusty had hoped. Uncle Bart said the men at the barber shop were rightfully concerned about Chester and Ida’s safety. Jerry Conner even talked about setting up 24-hour surveillance around Chester and Ida’s house. Of course, we all knew Jerry Conner had just been hoping for a chance to use the word “surveillance” ever since he started watching “Walker, Texas Ranger” on Netflix.

  Uncle Bart even cornered Doug at the Farmer’s Market Saturday morning and said, “Ol’ Chester ain’t got the sense nor the eyesight to fend off a young fella like that if he was to turn mean on ‘em. What if he was to knock both of ‘em in the head one night and run off with ever’ thing they got?”

  Doug laughed, “And what do Chester and Ida have that he could want?”

  “They might have money hidden under the mattress or somethin’. Plus, you remember when Chester won that rifle in the raffle a few years ago.”

  Townspeople started coming by Dusty’s shop, questioning his judgment, wondering if he’d pressured Chester and Ida to take in Matthew Prescott. So Dusty, well, Dusty did something, something completely surprising. He took out an ad in the Weakley County Press. The top line said something like “Dusty’s Shop in Bradford Hires on New Mechanic from Nashville Area.” And it wasn’t long before that ad was passed all over the county. According to the ad, Matthew Prescott was 35 years old and a well-trained car mechanic. He also had a bachelor’s degree from some university we’d never heard of in California. Then, well, the most surprising thing of all was the last two lines of the advertisement. “Matthew has spent the last fourteen years in prison. The friendliness of our beautiful area will be a refreshing change of pace. We hope you’ll come by and welcome Matthew Prescott to Dusty’s Shop and to West Tennessee.”