Riding Ryder

by Raven McAllan

  Logan’s lips were blue in spite of the heat of the sun, and Caleb was conscious of a pang of remorse. “Bugger, Logan, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize how cold it would feel to you. I’m used to it.”

  “Nn-no p-probl-lem,” Logan stuttered. “Not if it means you’ll give me the kiss of life.” He leered hopefully and produced a pathetic-sounding cough.

  “Sorry, no can do, but I’ll run you a hot shower if you want.”

  Steering Logan through the house to the bathroom, turning the shower on, and pushing him under the jets without pulling him close and feasting on his mouth was a feat Caleb accomplished with difficulty. Logan wasn’t helping matters, holding onto his hand and tugging.

  “Bet you are cold as well. Let me warm you.”

  Caleb groaned. “Logan. Don’t go there, please.”

  “Just looking, boss.” Logan’s tone was light and teasing. He was indeed looking.

  Caleb noticed his cock rising to the admiration. Then found himself incredibly angry. How dare Logan mess with his head and the rest of him like that? Because now he was pulling him closer.

  “To share the spray.”

  Caleb’s rage broke out. “Okay. Okay! You want to fuck? Then turn around, and we’ll fuck. But remember, next time, it won’t be your ass I’m pounding; it’ll be someone else’s. Or I’ll be deep inside a warm, sweet pussy. You want to know that? After I’ve filled you? You might not want anyone else, but you’ll have to share me. And you can’t come first in line.

  “Shit, Logan. Stop being so damn selfish. I want you so much, I’m aching. And you, you fucking prick-teaser, know the score.” He stopped, appalled at himself, ashamed of his outburst. Furious, he wiped a stray tear from his cheek. He didn’t remember crying. “Sorry. That was uncalled-for,” he said quietly.

  “No, no, it’s me who should be sorry.” Logan sounded subdued, shaken. “I was stirring, and you’re right, it’s not right. Want me to leave?”

  “Oh for god’s sake, no.” Caleb shook his head, his braid escaping its ties, the locks flowing down his back to his waist. “No. I have a feeling I’ll need you, even if I can’t have you.”

  “You can have me as little or as much as you want, mate. That’s a promise. Platonic or erotic. And, er, as I’m up and ready, how about my next lesson?” Logan was obviously trying for a hangdog expression, but he didn’t quite succeed.

  Caleb laughed. “You look like a kid trying for an hour’s extension to his bedtime.”

  “Well, there’s a thought. I’d definitely like to extend my bedtime. Gonna show me how?”

  Why not? “Inside or out? We can put the patio heating on.”

  “Out then. None of those pesky midge things here?” Logan asked.

  He shook his head and finger-combed his hair. “Not here. Over at the house? It’s in the west, so there are plenty; it’s all very different there.”

  “Well, let’s make the most of the great outdoors, then.”

  Caleb took the outstretched hand and led Logan to where the beds were waiting.

  Chapter Four

  “Any bed?”

  Caleb opened a door in the base of one of the pedestals, the top of which held an array of lamps. He took out two foam squares and threw them at Logan, who caught both in one hand.

  “No bed yet. Set those on the grass about three feet apart, will you? I’ll just put the heaters on.”

  Logan did as he was asked, then sat on the grass, his back against one of the beds. He watched Caleb’s graceful body move around the patio. Life sucked. There he was, for the first time in ages, with an almost continuous hard-on for a man, who was seemingly in just about as bad a situation, and was told it was no-go. Somehow, he knew this feeling wasn’t lust. How on earth could he deal with this curve life had thrown at him? It was fine telling himself to build a bridge and get over it, but he didn’t have the stones, didn’t want the stones, to do that. He wanted Caleb. Well Logan, that’s just bloody tough. That guy has a gin-trap mind. And if he says no, well, tough shit, mate. His “no” doesn’t seem like it is a “yes” or “maybe.”

  Logan watched as Caleb moved to sit down on one of the foam squares and then gestured to the other. “Sit on there, please. Can you cross your legs like this?”

  He waited until Caleb assumed the lotus yoga position and copied him, then glanced at Caleb’s hands as they lay loosely on his thighs, his fingers circled.

  “Have you ever done any yoga, Logan?”

  He shook his head. “Nah, but I’m reasonably fit and supple. Windsurf and surf back home. Run a bit.”

  Nodding, Caleb smiled. “Good. I’m going to show you something that may or may not blow your mind. I wouldn’t do this for just anyone; well, not as early in a relationship, professional or otherwise. I want you just to watch. Don’t try to analyze or understand. Just look. And feel. Will you?”

  Logan’s reply was prompt. “I will. I promise.” This was it. At last he would learn more about the man who had interested him long before they’d met.

  “Okay then. Are you comfortable there? I’ll stay here. I need to be able to show you this in a totally open way. This is the best position for it.”

  “I’ll be fine.” He hoped. “Er, what exactly are you going to show me?”

  “How to come, Logan,” he was told. “By yourself, no props, no aids—visual, manual, or artificial. Just you, your mind focused just on you. You won’t be able to do it easily, if at all. Certainly not on your first try, either. But this, this is true and total sexual satisfaction. Without this, I would not be me, nor able to help others.” Caleb laughed suddenly. A deep, joyful, sexual laugh that had Logan’s toes curling. “This side of me is for me only.”

  Shiiiit. “And now me,” Logan said with satisfaction.

  “And now you.”

  He was intrigued. Come with no body, hand, or stimulus? Didn’t seem very likely. Still, he watched as Caleb’s breathing became deeper, slower, and regular.

  “You do it, Logan. Count to five. In. Hold. Five. Out.” The voice was serene. He found himself matching Caleb breath for breath. He saw Caleb’s eyes darken. Logan thought he should be freaked out by what was happening, it was all so new and different, but he wasn’t. He listened carefully as Caleb began to speak.

  “I’m clearing my mind. Listening to my heartbeat, to my breathing. You try. Don’t search, just let it happen. Your mind will be wide open. Use perception, have no thoughts, just sense what is there. Can you feel it? Don’t force yourself. It will happen.”

  He tried and noticed himself relaxing. His mind wasn’t empty; it definitely was not a blank space. Instead, it was a calm, swirling kaleidoscope of colors. Dreamy, misty colors. His blood was pounding, and his heartbeat echoed. The sense of anticipation was overwhelming. Huskily, he said so.

  He heard the satisfaction in Caleb’s voice as he responded. “Good. Now hold that thought, or lack of it. Your colors. They are yours and yours alone. Your mind’s spark, its lodestone. Can you hear music?”

  Is that what it is? That swirl of sensation? Well it’s not Madonna or the Stones, that’s for sure. But chill-out music? Yup, I guess.

  “Good, that’s music. Your music.” The contentment in Caleb’s voice was good to discern. “You will never forget that. Now you need to watch. Don’t worry about how you feel, or where you are going. Try to focus on me as well as your inner mind. Open yourself to me, and I’ll show you something that one day may be yours.” Caleb laughed his deep, sexual laugh.

  God. That goes all the way down to my cock and back again. Logan looked deep into Caleb’s eyes. What he saw there made him want to rant, to cry, to rail at fate. Or life. Bugger it. It was not fair. Shit, now I sound like a whinging kid. A look of anguish briefly flickering across Caleb’s face made him stop in his tracks. Not one-sided, then. Bollocks. Grow up, Logan. Fucking well grow up.

  Caleb was speaking again. Logan listened intently, impatient with his cock as it grew and hardened. That was Caleb doing that, not him. Down bo
y.

  He watched, fascinated, as Caleb’s breathing grew even slower. He listened to his voice and suddenly realized the honor given to him. With total openness, Caleb was baring his soul. He concentrated on Caleb’s voice, melodic and mesmeric.

  “Watch my body. See my cock; see it get longer, thicker, harder. Why? I have no thoughts, except of myself. No visions, no pictures in my mind. No one to hold or caress. I can say these things and get no reaction. My body is concentrating purely on me. Only me. One day you will do this. Now, you help yourself.”

  WTF? Does Caleb mean get myself off? While I watch him come? A massive turn-on, so easy to do, but is that really what he wants?

  Even in his self-absorbed state, Caleb read and answered him. “Exactly that, Logan. Come and be satisfied. But watch and learn first.”

  Logan nodded, one hand tight on his cock, before he realized Caleb might not see his acquiescence. “’Kay, Cal, oh yes, shit…Okay.”

  “Good.” There was quiet satisfaction in Caleb’s voice. “So look now. Let me come in this way for you, for me, for us.”

  “Never before for anyone else?” His tone was one of wonder.

  “Never.”

  Oh fuck, shit, and any other epithet allowable.

  “So.” Logan knew he sounded smug, but so what? He felt smug. All for him. Goddamn, all for him. He wanted to stand tall and pound his chest. All. For. Me.

  He watched, entranced. Caleb’s eyes were truly fathomless. He seemed to be looking inside himself, but seeing all around him. Logan was awed. Without thinking he said so.

  Caleb laughed. “You’ve got it.”

  “How the hell can you laugh and talk to me when you are trying to screw yourself?” He was truly interested.

  “Patience. Training. And love.”

  Well, holy shit. Love. Oh, fuck in a box, love. Wow. So did he sit? Just watch? Not hold himself?

  “Yeah.”

  “Oh, bollocks.” That sense again. He took his hand off his dick in a hurry. Watch yourself, Logan.

  “No, Logan.” Caleb’s voice was patient, amused. “Watch me. Look, feel, and see what happens. Not just to me, but to you. See how you feel. Don’t touch; just absorb.”

  O-kayyy. He watched and marveled.

  Caleb appeared to be sitting straighter, if that was possible; looking out into space. His eyes, dark and opaque, turned inward. His breathing seemed deeper and slower. Logan curled his fingers, his heart thudding and his own breathing matching Caleb’s.

  His cock unfurled and left its cozy nest to stand hard and erect, a mirror image of Caleb’s. Then Caleb’s voice came to him, soft but definite. Sexual and sensual. Stimulating and attentive.

  “I can feel my cock, feel how aroused it is. I am totally focused on my feelings, my well-being, and myself. As I breathe, I know I am excited, alive. My body wants me to be satisfied. It has aroused me. I know my nipples, my ass, my cock, are all ready, all charged with emotion. I know. I know.

  “My cock is harder; silk, steel, iron, velvet, ready, aroused. My cum is waiting. There, nearly there. Now I will come” His voice trailed away, quiet but triumphant as his cock, magnificently aroused, jerked and cum covered it. “Now I have come. I have reached.” He stopped. His voice firmed. “This, Logan, it is for you.”

  He moved so swiftly, Logan did not have time to blink before he was rolled on to his front.

  “Knees up; we will be lovers.” Caleb’s tone changed from formal to lover. “Christ, Logan, I can’t deny us, not totally. I need to feel you. If you don’t want it, tell me now, and I’ll stop.”

  Logan thought it seemed as if the world held its breath.

  “Don’t stop. Please don’t stop.” Logan knew he was begging, but he didn’t care. “I’m ready. Oh, so ready.”

  Logan was aware of a slick and firm cock probing his ass. Caleb had found a condom and some gel from somewhere. Aroused and anticipating, Logan sighed with pleasure as that hard, eager dick explored his anus and pushed. Oh, sweet Jesus. God forgive the blasphemy, but oh yes. Heaven. Caleb had been right, he thought hazily as he sensed him move gently inside him. He would never be the same again now. How would he cope if this all finished, was over before it really began? Was he prepared to tell Caleb to stop? Hell no. No chance. Enjoy and live.

  “So fucking good.” He moaned his appreciation, feeling Caleb moving steadily. In, out; in, out. Gently. Nothing harsh or sudden. Just the knowledge, the feeling of Caleb’s dick moving in him, filling him.

  “You help. Pump that magnificent cock.” Caleb’s voice urged him on. “Go on, feel your hands on yourself. So good, eh?”

  “Jeeezzzz, so good.” He rubbed and touched himself, harder and faster. He could feel Caleb, one hand touching his nipple for him; see the other supporting himself as he moved steadily, in and out of his ass.

  “Fuck it, Cal, I’m gonna come. Bugger…ah…” He sensed Caleb watching intently as he spilled cum over his hands, over the grass. Incredibly, he realized Caleb was about to climax again. His yell of “fucking fuck” confirmed it. Oh shit, his knees were giving way. The feeling of Caleb lying across his back, breath labored as he recovered, was the best feeling he could imagine.

  It wasn’t until Caleb became soft and slipped out that Logan started to wonder. He heard soft rustlings as, presumably, Caleb dealt with the condom. Damn, he had been so far gone that little security addition hadn’t really registered in his mind. Oh, bloody hell. Thank goodness Caleb had used his sense and not just his gonads.

  What on earth was going to happen next?

  Chapter Five

  “Don’t know the answer to that. I suppose I should say that wasn’t meant to happen.” Caleb’s voice was slurred. “So, okay, that wasn’t meant to happen. It sure as hell did though. Bloody sure as hell did. Mmm.”

  “Do you regret it?” Logan’s voice was shaded with anxiety.

  He considered carefully; no glib answer would do here. “I could never regret making love to you, Logan. Few people are lucky enough to experience that instant attraction that makes them realize they have just met their soul mate. I did when I met you, and not to know the essence of you at least once would be a sin. But I do regret the problems we have caused ourselves,” Caleb said somberly. “Now that I know you, d’you think I don’t want to know you again? To feel my cock in that tight, welcoming ass? Of course I do. To feel you in me? To make each other come, any which way we want? Of course I bloody do. And I’m guessing by those subtle little wriggles and moans you’re making, you feel like that as well. But dare I let it happen?” He sighed and pressed a lingering kiss on Logan’s nape as he reluctantly moved off his back, rolling onto his side.

  He stood easily, pulled Logan from the bed, gathered him into his arms, and walked to where the Jacuzzi was still bubbling quietly. Moving swiftly down the three steps into the water, he deposited Logan on a seat and sat next to him, letting the jets soothe and cleanse.

  “How the hell do you do that, man?”

  “Eh? Do what?” He sighed as the water caressed him. He was weary, both in body and spirit. Making love, within himself, always drained him. To have then been able to make love so thoroughly to Logan was incredible. But now, seated in the water, if he’d been asked to raise a finger he’d be hard-pressed to comply.

  “Carry me and make it seem so easy. Hell, I’m not much less than you in height, and about the same weight, and you pick me up like a bag of sugar after limb-weakening, mind-blowing sex. How the hell did you do it?”

  He laughed. “Fuck if I know. Mind over matter? Seriously, I think getting us into here was still part of our loving. So adrenalin kept me going. Now? I couldn’t lift a bottle of beer. Well, maybe that, but not a lot else. Can you stretch your arm out to that fridge behind you, d’you reckon? There’s beer in it.” He smiled, sexually sated and happy.

  Logan stretched his arm, found the fridge door, and took out two beers.

  “On the side, in arm’s reach.”

  “Damn it, Caleb,” Logan
snapped. “You’re doing it again.” He pried the caps off the beers with the opener—exactly where Caleb had said it was—before handing one over, and taking a long swallow of the other.

  “Force of habit. It’s second nature to me.” He replicated Logan’s swallow. “Damn, that’s good. You are good.”

  “No, we are good.”

  Yeah, that was it. They were good. Shit.

  For a while, a serene silence surrounded them. Caleb, his mind empty, lay back in the warm water as he let it lap around his body. Next to him, Logan also seemed content just to sit and dream.

  Eventually, Caleb stirred, aware Logan was looking at him. Oh shit. Caleb sensed what his lover was wondering. He had really hoped not to have that particular conversation just yet. Perversely, he chose not to acknowledge knowing what Logan was going to say. He could feel the other man waiting for him to speak. He knew Logan was surprised and perturbed that he was not going to help him say what was on his mind.

  “So, Logan, how long have you been in Scotland, then?”

  Logan looked surprised. “Oh, er, cuppla weeks. I was in Brighton and then London for a while before that. Say, Cal…”

  “And before then? Straight from Australia, or was it enjoy the Aussie summer and then hightail it to Europe? Did you surf St. Amour beach?” Caleb interrupted.

  “Yeah, sort of. Bollocks, Caleb. You know what the hell I am thinking, so why are you talking about my travelling, for fuck’s sake?”