by Kiki Archer
‘No, it’s ok. What did you mean?’ asked Freya open to advice she knew she would not find anywhere else. She had never once talked about anything of real importance with her parents. There was no chat about the birds and the bees and she had to completely fend for herself when it came to female issues, too embarrassed to ask when the drawer was empty, ending up in the early years using folded tissue paper as a last resort.
‘Well,’ said Cal approving of the gloriously pretty, mature girl more every minute, ‘I mean what is the plan? Are you going to be open at school? If so when are you going to tell your parents? Which should come first? Will you hold hands in school? Kiss like the rest of them in the common room? When will you take the next step? Assuming you have not done so already. Are you ready for the next step? Do you need some space here alone? Shall we meet your parents?’
‘Dad!’ yelled Bea, ‘we are just fine thank you! Please Dad, she is not used to this obsessing.’
Freya was not sure which was worse, parents like this or her own deliberately naive and illusive pair, ‘Wow, I hadn’t thought of all that.’ This was too much.
Silvia oozed concern, ‘Oh you must darling, you must. Be in control of every situation and anticipate its outcome, this way your choices will be confident and thought out, not rash and irresponsible.’
‘Mum please. We are just dating.’
That word again, thought Freya, it sounded so strange. Freya is dating Bea; it sounded so wrong.
‘So it is secret dating again then Beatrice?’ said Silvia raising her eyebrows but forming no wrinkles.
‘If that’s what Freya wants, then yes.’
‘Thank you,’ said Freya quietly, not knowing where to look. ‘I just don’t know what I am feeling yet.’ She thought of Kat.
‘Well surely you feel something for our daughter?’ Cal spoke with quiet pressure, delving deep without appearing to dig.
‘Of course I do.’
‘Ok, so if I can give you one piece of advice?’
‘Yep,’ said Freya bracing herself.
‘Just always be honest about your feelings. If everyone did that then the world would be a much simpler place.’
‘If you feel it, then it is real,’ concluded Silvia, hands held together pointed under her chin.
Bea knew when enough was enough and ushered a disoriented Freya out of the cosy dim lounge and into the glare of the outside security lights, there were faint specks of snow in the air. They hurried to the car and she crouched at the door, ‘I am so sorry about that.’
‘It’s ok. I guess they are right. I am just not ready to be labelled as a lesbian though!’
‘It is just a word.’
‘Well I don’t want it thanks.’
‘Why not? Is it such an awful thing?’ Bea was starting to take offence.
Freya was confused, this was all so overwhelming. ‘For me yes! No, I don’t mean that, look I don’t know what I mean,’ She sighed and looked at Bea, ‘I know you are gorgeous though,’ she spoke slowly, ‘and I know I think you’re hot, and I know you are an amazing kisser,’ she moved her lips to Bea’s ear, ‘and I know I can’t control myself around you.’
‘Me too,’ said Bea moving her mouth quickly round to Freya’s. Their kiss was hot and throbbing as the specks of cold snow melted on their burning skin.
Chapter 18
Kat returned to school emotionally drained, exhausted from the full on family Christmas, sapped of supportive energy, mind full of conflicting thoughts and unacceptable realisations. The atmosphere in the staff room had been one of sluggish recognition, Christmas was over, the kids were back, and the term till summer was long. Kat avoided the pull of moaning staff and tried to look enthused, gearing herself up for a second great term, but then Leery Old Lester flicked his new reindeer thong pouch her way and she groaned in despair. An array of new mugs free from brown circles had appeared on the wooden staffroom hooks, and Kat added her I Love You Miss to the tree.
‘From Freya I presume,’ sneered Fiona Mews with her new paisley neck scarf tied in place.
Kat spoke pleasantly, ‘Davey Jakes actually.’
‘Davey Jakes?! He hates teachers!’
‘Not our fantastic Miss Spicer,’ said Ben grabbing Kat’s waist and kissing her on the cheek. ‘Good morning Miss Spicer, looking sensational as always.’
‘If you like lesbian chic that is,’ sniggered Fiona blowing hot air from her huge nostrils; Kat realised she actually sounded like a horse as well as looking like one.
Ben studied Kat in her tight grey, gently chequered, pencil skirt and fitted black shirt. She had large pale blue beads that matched her dazzling eyes and she looked incredible, so smart and sophisticated yet so stylish and modern. He shook his head in disbelief, how could Fiona be so cruel? ‘Says you Miss exits to the sides!’ He was posing with arms out.
‘Not got a haircut over Christmas then Mr Puller?’ sniffed Fiona, adamant to get the last laugh.
‘No, I see you didn’t get your mane cut off either?’
Fiona turned to stalk off and her long black plat whipped his chest as she spun. She peered slowly over her shoulder and flared her nostrils, ‘A lesbian pupil-teacher relationship. The governors won’t be pleased.’ She tutted and trotted off towards her brown woven chair.
Ben walked quickly behind her and grabbed her arm.
‘You’re hurting me,’ she snarled.
‘What the fuck is your problem Fiona?’ he hissed. ‘Leave Kat alone or the governors will hear about your homophobic bullying.’ He paused to check he wasn’t drawing attention and of the few staff members left in the room most were head down reaching into one of the shiny chocolate tins that littered the tables; the bearded supply guy was asleep. ‘... you total and utter waste of space.’
‘Trouble in paradise?’ Dave Lester shouted over to Fiona and Ben; he was considerably deaf from the jungle of hairs and build up of wax in his ears and the muffled show from the kitchenette looked like a lovers tiff.
‘Not if she’s got any sense,’ snapped Diane Pity having returned from the ladies. She had caught the comment and glimpsed the scene; there was no way her best fake friend was getting those cheap stylised nails into her hunk of a man.
‘Thanks Ben, but there was no need,’ said Kat walking along the long freshly painted corridor.
Ben reached up and smeared the pale blue paint with his finger, ‘You would think they would have done this earlier, the smell is atrocious, and look at this damp bit.’ It was always the same with school maintenance jobs, left until the most inconvenient time, or done in the most inconvenient manner.
Kat had apologised to him about her sharpness in the coffee shop – it had been a dreadful day for everybody – but she was still adamant that she did not want to talk about it. ‘I mean it Ben. I can fight my own battles.’
‘Yes but you shouldn’t have to.’ He hoped he would gradually wear her down, ‘What does she know anyway?’
‘Oh nothing, just putting two and two together and making four.’
‘It does,’ he laughed. ‘Is Lucy rubbing off on you?’
‘Ha, I don’t know where my head is! Is it still only Monday?’
‘It’s only five to nine,’ he chuckled as he swerved into his form room to a cheer of Happy New Years from his delighted pupils.
Kat climbed the stairs swiftly, slowing at the top where the hulk of Chianne Granger was leaning a giggling Chantelle Mann over the rails. ‘Excuse me ladies but can we move on to our form rooms.’ The smell of cheap perfume was worse than the new B Block corridor.
Chianne sucked her teeth and Kat was sure she heard a faint whistle caused by the buck. She placed both hands on her wide hips and thrust out her non-existent chest, ‘Only because it’s you Miss,’ breathed Chianne now smiling, presumably sexily.
Kat’s face did not crack, ‘And can you take that pink hoody off as well Chianne, you know it is not school uniform.’
‘You wanna see the merchandise don’t cha Miss?�
�� she purred winking.
Kat barked, ‘Stop talking right now and move it!’
‘Alright we’re going,’ bellowed Chianne in her usual deep voice. ‘Mann, get the bags.’ Chantelle scooped up the handbags and scurried after the thumping beast.
Most of Kat’s tutor group were yet to have their birthdays and the innocence of these eleven year olds was warming. They chatted nicely about their Christmas’s and the gifts they had received, genuine excitement still evident in their voices and smiles. Numerous new watches were proudly on display as were the clean coats hanging carefully on the back of their chairs and comic Christmas socks were exposed with the deliberate crossing of knees. Kat sat at her wooden desk and watched, they were a delight and she was really proud of them. ‘Come on, who has got a funny story from Christmas?’
Hands flew up, most of them hadn’t got funny stories, they simply wanted to share their Christmas with their favourite, genuinely interested, form tutor.
By lunchtime it felt like she had not been away. Kat was back in the swing of things, allowing her classes to have a quick chat about Christmas and New Year before diving straight back into the syllabus; coursework was now the focus in most upper school lessons. Following a chatty lunch with Janet Louza Kat made her way to the dining hall and her difficult duty position, pleased that Janet did actually seem to have a life after all. Hannah Phag was also meant to patrol the area near the food hatch but Kat couldn’t see her and actually couldn’t remember ever having seen her on a single duty.
‘Hello again ladies, could you please return your trays and make your way to afternoon lessons.’ Kat decided to start off politely.
‘Wow you have missed me ain’t ya’ Miss!’ spluttered Chianne with a mouthful of cold chips. She pierced her blue Calypso with a straw and the crinkled see through plastic crackled under her large mitts.
‘Now please,’ Kat spoke firmly.
Chantelle whispered with trepidation, ‘Come on Chianne, it’s Mr Puller and he’s got those tight trousers on.’
‘Oi, I decide when we vacate vicinities!’
‘When we what?’ Chantelle knew she always got it wrong.
‘No you don’t, I do, now go!’ said Kat pointing at the door.
‘Yeah yeah,’ muttered Chianne yanking herself free from the table. ‘Mann, get the chips.’ Chantelle hastily scooped up the remaining thick cut chips, some splattered with gravy, and cradled them like lost treasure behind a puffing Chianne who had tried to walk sexily to the door; teasing that strict Spicer woman who she thought clearly wanted a slice of the action.
Kat braced herself as she entered her classroom, it was the first time she had seen Freya in nearly three weeks and she did not know what to expect; all she knew was that she felt awful and had to apologise for her outburst at Cross Hall. It had been completely uncalled for and out of proportion in response to Freya’s pleasant, if somewhat over familiar, compliment. What she had not expected was their late arrival and Bea’s smirking apology. Kat had warned her Sixth Formers on their very first meeting to, ‘arrive on time or don’t arrive at all,’ and in general they did. Today however the excuse, ‘we just lost track of time,’ was unacceptable; and throughout the lesson Kat questioned the intent of Bea’s sly wink.
Generally all ten in the A Level class were performing fantastically. Janet Louza had been thrilled with the exceptional end of term exam scores and the group’s coursework progress, which had far outstripped anything Miss Pendleton had achieved. She had requested that Kat lead a Department Inset on her successful coursework completion strategy. Kat didn’t really have one, most of her students tended to do the work to the best of their ability and hand it in when requested; Big Tom however, was an exception. Kat sat and watched him gazing out of the window, mesmerised by noisy Gulls fighting for ample lunchtime scraps on the littered tennis courts. Today in his new red checked Christmas shirt, smart black trousers and ginger beard he could have been little Jason Sparrow’s dad. Jason was sat tucked in tightly to the desk, feet barely skimming the floor, beavering away textbook in hand, occasionally putting it down to wipe his newly pimpled forehead and push up his wire rimmed round glasses. They were an odd couple, but the best of friends. Kat turned her attention to the table in the corner. Freya and Bea were once again choosing to sit together and if Bea’s suggestive excuse was anything to go by she suspected they had become more than reunited friends during the two week break. She cursed herself and watched as they worked quietly. Freya sat with her left elbow on the desk supporting her forehead in her hand, waves of rich chestnut brown hair pushed through her fingers. She wrote quickly, pausing every so often in thought, twisting her pen around the long tassels hanging from her delicate blue and gold scarf. Freya looked up and caught Kat’s stare, she smiled and Kat felt her heart quicken.
As the bell rang she gave the final loud and clear coursework deadline date and quietly added a request for Tom and Freya to stay behind. As the class filed out Freya loitered at the back and Tom stayed seated; his beard disguising his red cheeks.
Kat pulled a plastic blue seat in to her desk, ‘Tom, could you come and sit up here for a minute please?’
‘Err Miss, any chance you can come here please?’ his low voice mumbled.
‘You are a cheeky beggar Mr Wood! No I can’t. Get yourself and your thin coursework folder up here now.’ Her banter was friendly, ‘Freya I will be with you in a minute.’ She noticed Bea still seated in the corner.
Tom lifted his school bag onto his lap, took a long time to stand and shuffled his way to the front, towards the incredibly hot Miss Spicer.
‘Ok, take a seat, put your bag down and let’s look at what you’ve got.’
Tom spluttered, his large fleshy ears had turned pink, ‘Err my bag’s new Miss and I need to keep hold of it.’ He was looking at the floor, the outline of her perfect tits bulging against her tight black shirt was too much to handle. He stared at the ground and spotted her elegant ankle and his eyes were drawn slowly up her smooth supple legs, towards the rim of her tight skirt where her crossed legs met. He looked at the board and kept his bag in place.
Kat frowned, ‘Ok, whatever. I would like to arrange some one on one tutor session with you after school on a Wednesday, just until we get you up to date with your coursework.’
Tom felt his bag shift, ‘Ok.’
‘Right, if you don’t have any questions then I would like to start this week. Three Thirty in here if that is ok with you?’
‘Yes fine.’ His deep mumbling voice was almost inaudible.
‘Hey Tom, listen,’ he couldn’t look at her; her incredible blue eyes would be too penetrating and her sexy mouth would be too inviting, ‘I am really pleased with what you have done so far, there just isn’t enough of it.’
‘Ok,’ he said trying not to sniff too much of her subtle, yet highly arousing perfume, imagining her stood naked spraying it on her graceful neck after her sexy as hell morning shower.
‘Right, ok; glad we are on the same page then.’
‘Um hm,’ he managed lifting his bulk out of the tiny plastic chair, catching a glimpse of her wonderful cleavage and making a mental note to wear his jockstrap on Wednesday afternoon.
‘Ok,’ said a slightly bemused Kat as she watched him shuffle out of the room bent awkwardly over his precious new bag. ‘Freya could I have a word please.’
Freya and Bea made their way to the front. ‘Sorry Miss, it was my fault we were late,’ said Bea confidently taking a seat on the front table.
‘No it is not about that Bea; just please make sure it doesn’t happen again. I could do with a quick word with Freya.’ Kat paused and Bea didn’t move. ‘Bea?’
‘Look Miss, you need to know something. Me and Freya don’t have any secrets if you know what I mean?’ She winked again.
‘That might be so, but I would like a word with Freya in private please.’
Freya remained quiet.
Bea raised her perfectly arched eyebrows, ‘Meet me in t
he common room.’ She paused on her way out of the door and looked back, moving her long dark hair sexily over her shoulder, ‘Maybe you could stay at mine tonight?’ she added inappropriately.
Kat listened as Bea’s black knee length Yves Saint Laurent boots clipped down the corridor. She got up and closed the door. Freya looked deeply embarrassed.
She breathed in and began, ‘I just wanted to apologise for the way I reacted at Cross Hall. It has been playing on my mind all over Christmas and I just needed to say sorry.’ She carefully recited the speech, ‘It was unjustified and uncalled for. I’m so sorry Freya, you did not deserve that and I hope we can put it behind us and move forward normally.’ She stopped and looked up, ‘I want the absolute best for you in these lessons and I don’t want anything to cloud the issues. You are online for an A and I want it to stay that way.’ Kat breathed and smiled with relief.
Freya had been worried that she would receive a speech on tardiness, but this nervous apology had quashed all of her fears and she relaxed, took a seat next to the wooden desk, and smiled. Kat’s beautiful face with its striking features was within touching distance but she resisted the temptation to stare. ‘It’s ok. I shouldn’t have said anything.’ She looked for a sign.
Kat did not know what to say, ‘Ok. Good, well as long as you understand I didn’t mean to snap, I just think maybe I spent too much time in that steam room!’
‘It is lovely though isn’t it Miss.’
Kat met Freya’s daring green eyes; she was teasing her. ‘Don’t call me Miss.’
Freya felt her heart tingle, not only had Kat spent Christmas deliberating over their altercation but she also accepted and respected their history; she felt buoyed. ‘It was pretty hot in there wasn’t it ... but to be fair it’s not like you had much on!’ she grinned.
‘You’re getting as cheeky as Big Tom!’ laughed Kat, pleased to have cleared the air.
‘Is that what you and Miss Louza call him in the staffroom?’
Kat smiled, relieved that the banter remained, ‘That’s what everyone calls him!’