WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?
Oh fuck off Berkeley! I would call him in two days, following Michelle’s 2 day gap rule. I was walking outside when I noticed Big Guy at the reception desk talking to our receptionist.
‘Good night Ms. Bianchi.’
I didn’t know what was he doing there, but I was not stopping, just kept walking and talking. ‘Joe, what are you doing here?’
He was fast so he even opened the entrance door for me. ‘Mr. Berkeley told me that starting today I am at your service ma’am.’
That made me stop. ‘Sorry, Joe I am not following. I am going to call him, ok?’
‘He’s wrapping up a meeting, he asked me to take you to his apartment for dinner.’
Ok, this was not what I had thought about a one night stand and I was definitely not doing a follow up; but I really wanted to see him and I also wanted an explanation for Joe’s presence. I nodded and we walked to the SUV. I was nervous; silly, girly, teenage crush, nervous. Would he look at me differently? Would he treat me differently? Would he try to do it again? This “I just slept with you” thing was killing me. We arrived and Joe told me to enter unannounced. As soon as I entered the room I could see Blue Eyes standing in front of a floor to ceiling window, talking to someone. I noticed it was Trent, this couldn’t be good. The tip tap of my heels caught their attention.
‘There you are doll.’
He offered me his hand, pulled me in an embrace and gave me one of those “too long” cheek kisses.
‘You can leave, Wood.’
The man didn’t even look in my direction. He didn’t say goodbye and I knew what had happened so I yanked out of Berkeley’s embrace.
‘What’s this about Berkeley?’
His face was completely different, he was pissed; I want to kill you kind of pissed.
‘Where the fuck did you go this morning?!’ Shouting, clenching his jaw, piercing me with his eyes, I got the clue that maybe I did something wrong.
‘Home?’
‘Why didn’t you even have the courtesy to wake me up?’
‘I had to get to my job early, you were sleeping. No big deal, jerk, stop shouting at me. What did you want?’ Now I was shouting, he was testing my patience.
‘What I wanted was to wake up with the woman I slept with!’
He was bitching because I left, Michelle would be surprised. ‘Oh God, is that what all this is about? It’s not a big deal Berkeley. Yeah, we slept together, no, you don’t have to be a bitch about it.’
‘Katherine, what exactly do you think that happened yesterday?’
Oh no, I’d worked too hard the whole day to avoid even the thoughts of last night and now this jackass wants me to repeat the details, kinky bastard.
‘A one night stand?’ My voice small and girly, just as it is when I want something or I want to get out of trouble.
‘No frickin’ way!’
This madness was way out of proportion. ‘What?! Instead of asking me, tell me, it seems you have your mind made up about it!’
‘Katherine, last night was…’ Fuck, he’s backing off in my face! ‘The best fucking night ever and now you are dismissing it. I am not letting you do it! It changes things, it changes us, you fucking slept with me! Did you forget what you told me?’
Oh here we go!
I was not going to make a big deal of it. ‘We barely talked if I can recall and it was just sex talk Dylan. Are you going to force me to back that stupid panting?’
‘I am fucking going to make you live by it Katherine!’
He looked terribly menacing in his black suit, white shirt, black tie outfit. I had no idea what he was trying to tell me, but he was hot as hell, so I was going to play it cool.
‘I am not dismissing it, Dylan, I enjoyed it, a lot, but it doesn’t change us and it is definitely not becoming a daily thing. ‘
‘So how have you envisioned this thing will be?’ I could see the anger on his face.
‘Friends that sometimes sleep together?’ I was keeping the nice girl strategy.
‘I don’t want to be your friend, I have Spencer and Matt, they are my friends, my only friends. I have seen you naked and I have touched you naked, there’s no way in hell I can be your friend. So no, Katherine, we.are.not.friends!’
Fuck the nice act. ‘So, bastard? I am good enough for your bed but not for a friendship.’
‘You are perfect for my bed.’ I stared at him with I-want-to-kill-you-eyes, I was getting tired of this game and being humiliated just because I had had sex with him. He calmed down and talked to me in a lower voice, a first since I’d arrived. ‘We are going to take things slowly, I’ve told you I don’t date, but we had been having fun before and I can’t wait to fuck you again, so we’ll try that ok?’
Mmmm no, not ok.
There was no way I would accept that. ‘We are going to keep things as they were before last night, if what happened last night happens again, fine, but let’s make something clear now. You are not entitled to me, you don’t own me, you can’t have me whenever you want.’
‘Fuck, Katherine! You can’t even say it; we fucked, we did, your sore body should confirm this to you. So you are not avoiding the facts. And just for the record I am entitled to whatever I want.’
‘Oh yeah right asshole, and what about me? What do I get from this?’
He smiled, I had misstepped here, he knew he got me. ‘Me, entirely, whenever you want, whenever you need.’
‘Not sharing.’ Why on earth would you say that!?
‘Oh, so you want me for yourself Bianchi, that’s selfish, but ok. I’ll give you that since I would kill anyone who comes around you.’
Yeah right, I get as much attention as a white crayon!
We were making a deal here, so I negotiated. ‘And no Joe babysitting me.’
‘No.’ The smile was off of his face.
‘What?’
‘That’s off limits. You have to choose your battles, doll, I am not giving up on your security.’
‘Why?! Why are you so concerned about my security, Dylan?’
I was really frustrated, nothing was working out and in fact I didn’t know why I was fighting; after this I was not seeing him ever again! That was the only reason I had accepted discussing this bullshit, to stare at him longer before I would leave him forever.
‘Because life has taken away many things from me! That’s why!’ He was shouting at me again.
Oh God! What had just happened?! I just pushed his limits to rid me out of this mess, but apparently, for him, I was much more immersed than I had thought. I never accept things out of pity, but this was something else. I was concerned. I couldn’t stand this strong man hurting. I didn’t know what his pain had to do with me, but I just couldn’t stand it.
‘Joe’s taking me home now.’ I lowered my voice, maybe he wouldn’t notice I was leaving.
He came to me cautiously, as if he didn’t know how I would react to his touch. ‘I ordered those hot dogs you like, would you stay?’
He had me at hot dogs. ‘Ok, I’ll stay for dinner, after that, could he take me home?’
He took the few steps that were still between us and wrapped his arms around my hips.
‘He’s at your entire disposition, ask him whatever you need, ok?’
‘Thank you.’
He kissed my forehead and walked me to the kitchen. The food was there but I wanted to watch TV so we took our hot dogs with us to the big great couch. I sat down in a robotic way and started with my first dog.
‘Are you sore, doll?’
Awkward! I didn’t know the lady protocol for this, but I really hated to get intimate.
He stopped eating and turned back to me. ‘Katherine, look at me, did I hurt you?’
‘Of course not, I’m just a little sore.’
‘Fine.’ He was smiling. ‘I like you sore, doll.’
He winked at me, kinky asshole! We ate and watched TV for a while. But it was getting late, I hadn’t slept the n
ight before and I was terrified that he wanted to go that way again. I slept with him once but I wasn’t ready to make sex a daily activity.
‘Dylan, I think I am leaving.’
‘Don’t you want to stay? I am not touching you until you are free of pain, but I want you to stay.’
No freaking way. ‘I can’t. But I heard tomorrow there’s a good hockey game.’
I was grabbing my stuff and walking to the door. But I was stopped by his hand pulling me towards him as if I was made of paper. He kissed me hard and soft at the same time, I couldn’t believe someone could provoke such different sensations in just one kiss. My mouth was still swollen from the night before, so his lips felt even stronger.
‘Never leave without a goodbye kiss, doll.’
Wow! My knees started shaking and I was having second thoughts about leaving, I was not that tired after all, I could stay with him. Come on girl! We are leaving. I walked with a sexy, confident walk, just like Bambi on his first walk.
When I was a teenager adults used to say that sex changes everything, I always thought it was a stupid myth. But there was no way in hell I could find that last phrase so hot just one day before. I needed to work on those silly reactions to avoid further indiscretions. There was no way I would accept being at his disposition and certainly he was no one to own me, so no, even when my knees where dying for his touch I was not accepting it.
Fuck it with Michelle’s one night stands’ rules; as always, I had to be the one directing this. First step: avoiding intimacy. No good morning, good night, I miss you texts. As usual I would keep my texting in two categories: practical and making fun of someone, of course gossip was an entire category by itself but I usually end up making fun of the gossip, so it fit in my second category.
Following the rules I ignored my cell phone, I called mom and dad really early and left it hanging on my purse. As disposed by the hot jackass, I met Big Guy at the entrance and he was waiting for me with a big, mocking smile. ‘Ms. Bianchi, I have a call for you.’
With an innocent face I asked. ‘Oh, does he need something?’
He smiled, he was enjoying this even more than me. ‘Sir, Ms. B wants to know if you need something. No sir, I can’t repeat those words to a lady.’
‘Joe, I am going to be late to work, can we go now?’ I winked at Big Guy, he was having fun with me.
‘Sir, I have to drive, she’ll call you later.’
He hung up, he hung up on a bossy bastard! I love this man!
‘I like you sir, I like you a lot!’ I made myself comfortable in the SUV and he drove me to work.
I ignored Blue Eyes for the whole day, I knew he would be working, so he was not exactly in the position of looking for me. At night, fighting my own need to see him I decided to go straight home. That was rule number 2: respecting each other’s space. I checked my phone and surprise, surprise, no further attempt to contact after his morning call. I decided to text him.
ARRIVING HOME SAFE, JOE’S ON HIS WAY TO YOUR HOUSE. NIGHT.
No names, so impersonal that it would give the right message; we were just two people that knew each other. My rules were fine, but they were for the exterior of course, so I spent the whole night drooling over Dylan’s pictures on Google. He was beautiful, he was perfect, he was handsome, he was fucking hot, but in every single picture he looked so cold and unattached. So sad, but then, good enough to help me in my personal mission to remain unaffected by him.
Chapter 15
I dreamed about blue eyes, hip bones and strong arms; before him I never used to dream, and there I was having the perfect dream. I hate to go out on weekends but we needed food and supplies at the apartment so I took a quick shower, did my hair, makeup, put on a shirt and made a musical pause to dance my ass off to Madonna’s Vogue, comb in hand as a mic to get the effect at my mirror. Dance, shake, move, sing, Vogue! Why I can’t sing this good when someone else is listening?
‘Not sore anymore, doll?’
FUUUCKKKK!
‘You scared the hell out of me!’ I tried to cover myself and put my jeans on quicker than the devil. ‘Who let you in!?’
He was smirking though his eyes were dark. ‘I’ve seen you more naked than that.’ He came closer, closer.
He kissed my cheek longer than necessary and whispered. ‘Your doorman was kind enough to let me in.’
‘I am going to sue; you can’t feel safe in a place like this.’ I was rearranging my clothes.
He just smiled, looking absolutely edible. ‘Hey, smarty pants, what are you doing today?’
‘I need to buy groceries, there’s more food in my purse than in that poor fridge.’
‘Do you have a list, Katherine?’
‘Yeah.’
‘Give it to me.’
Weird, but he smelled good so I followed his orders. Blue Eyes took his phone out of his pocket.
‘Joe, come inside.’ As always with no kindness in his voice, he finished the shortest phone call I’ve heard. ‘He’s at the door’ He turned to me when he noticed my questioning look. ‘Joe, here you are, Ms. Bianchi needs this done.’ Big Guy nodded at me in his smooth way. ‘Good morning, Ms. Bianchi.’ He took the list and left. One minute, this action took just one minute.
‘What are you thinking?! I don’t want Joe to buy my personal shit!’ I was beyond embarrassed, personal things were listed on that piece of paper.
Not so impressed by my anger he laid down in my bed. ‘Shut up, Katherine, now you are free. Where do you want to go?’
‘If I don’t need to go shopping I’ll put on some sweatpants and watch TV.’ I started walking to my closet when his voice interrupted me.
‘No, you’re already dressed, let’s go out and then come back to that sick TV of yours.’
‘What do you have in mind?’ I didn’t want to go out, but certainly I wanted him to stay.
‘Tell me your favorite place in all of New York.’
I stared, I couldn’t understand his question, but this time was giving me the chance to look shamelessly at his perfect tight dark jeans, black V neck shirt and grey light cardigan.
‘Katherine, waiting.’
‘Cheesy and cliché: The Met. But it’s not what’s inside, don’t get me wrong, I appreciate that, but what I like is the marvelous white stone building. I love it and I couldn’t love those stairs more.’
He was listening to me but was showing no emotions, he was not affected by my perfect description of that great place. Yes, for me, that was the most sensible description ever. You are even dumber than what I thought, people are not affected by stone buildings, nor by stone people.
‘Let’s go, Katherine.’ Like that he stood up, grabbed my hand and took me with him. We went to the MET, of course, but instead of my usual, Vogue reading at the stairs, he decided to go inside.
‘Dylan, the only exhibit I am interested in every season is the fashion one, so let’s keep it simple, ok?’
He didn’t answer, just dragged me to every room. I should have mentioned Sacks when he asked for my favorite place because this was going to be a long day. He was looking for something but I didn’t know what. He didn’t even look at me while searching through the galleries. After what seemed an eternity we stopped at the most boring room, I knew it was terrible because it was completely empty.
‘What are we doing here?’
He put his hands around my face and started kissing me. His approach took me off guard, why was he kissing me now? Why did he think he had the right to kiss me? The little innocent encounter started to change soon, his hand went down to my spine, my waist, then my ass. I don’t even have an ass! And he was grabbing it as if it was the hottest thing on Earth. He was kissing me more fiercely, his hands went all over the place with calculated moves. That sensation came back, heart rate going crazy, breathing like an insane woman and my knees becoming weak. I could swear that our little PDA lasted longer than any normal make out session. But just when I was going to give in to the idea of touching hi
m, he put his hands on my face again and stopped.
My eyes were still closed and I was really trying to get my cool back. Almost breathless Dylan distracted me.
‘Katherine, open your eyes.’
Oh God those blue eyes! Those lips…I want those again!
I shook my head and asked. ‘What was that about?’
‘I felt like kissing you.’ The annoying smirk crossed his face and those blue pools stared at me.
‘So you just did it?’
I could see something was on his mind. ‘That kiss had a purpose behind it.’
‘Enlighten me, Mr. Berkeley.’
Our voices were really low, like a pair of horny fools!
‘When you come here, I want you to remember me.’
He said it so matter of fact that I felt guilty about thinking it was cheesy, but this man had not a cheesy bone on his body, so maybe these things worked for him in the past.
‘So this works with the ladies, Berkeley?’
‘This is one thing you can’t control, your heart beat tells me it works.’
Asshole! He turned around and walked away. That hot bastard made me walk into every MET gallery just to find a lonely spot to make out! If he didn’t kiss as he did I would have kicked his sorry ass.
After our weird encounter we went back home as if it didn’t happen. I was exhausted after walking through the entire museum and I was falling asleep. I said goodbye at the front door, just to erase any idea he may have had in mind. When he left I noticed that my entire apartment was assorted with all kinds of food and products. Joe’s the perfect housewife!
Just before I fell asleep my phone rang:
DREAM OF MUSEUMS DOLL
It hadn’t, but in case my brain would have forgotten that encounter, now it was back in my head. Of course the brain is a weird place and I didn’t dream of Blue Eyes that night.
After my Sunday shower I put on some sweatpants and a long t shirt. No makeup, not going out means a free day for my skin. Of course that nosy bastard had other plans. He was at my door at midday in jeans and a white V-neck shirt. He had a perfect smile and an even more perfect mouth. ‘Morning, doll.’ Longer than necessary cheek kiss.
BLUE ICE (ICE SERIES) Page 13