‘What are you doing here, Berkeley?’
‘Wanted to see you.’
‘You always do what you want?’
‘Always.’
Weird eye contact pause. Nervousness, deep blushing, awkward moment.
‘What do you want for breakfast, doll?’ It was noon and he thought I was just getting out of bed. He knew me so well…
I sat on the couch while admiring his arms. ‘I don’t do breakfast.’
‘What are you talking about?’ Yeah, again he was looking at me as if he couldn’t understand what I was saying.
‘Unnecessary calories.’
‘Katherine, don’t make me kick your ass, we are having waffles, set the plates, I’ll cook.’
Perfect man could cook too, impressive. ‘I can’t imagine you cooking.’
‘Neither do I but I want you all for myself so there’s no way I’m having someone cooking for us.’ He walked to the kitchen and started taking pans and ingredients out.
Surprisingly those waffles were great and just the beginning of a good day. Pure laziness, well, laziness for me. I watched every program that had tattoos as main topic available while Blue Eyes worked on his iPad. At some point I noticed this was becoming weirdly relaxed, I was comfortable enough to be completely laid out on the couch while Berkeley was sitting with his legs over my coffee table. It was good, but that stupid need was becoming evident in me. I needed his attention, I was becoming one of those annoying girls that want guys to pay attention to them.
‘So you needed a space to work today? That’s why you came?’
He lifted his face from behind the iPad. ‘Sorry, doll, just one more email, ok?’
‘Don’t worry, I am just getting tired.’
‘Of what? Of being lazy?’
‘No, smart ass, of this couch, this position.’
He stood up, put his iPad on the table and carried me to my bedroom.
‘What are you doing Berkeley? I can break your spine with my weight!’
‘Shut up, Bianchi!’ He put me on my bed and turned on my TV. ‘Don’t talk, I like this show.’
Criminal Minds, we are fucking soul mates!
I stared at him while watching the show. I had already seen that episode so I was able to admire him in his entire splendor. We were comfortable, but there was no way in hell we were ready to touch each other in bed, well, to do it again. Out of nowhere my mouth started moving without my permission.
‘How many girlfriends have you had Berkeley?’
What the fuck brain! Princess you know you don’t want to answer the same question, your answer is therapy worthy!
He turned to me nervously, I sensed I had reached a difficult topic. ‘I don’t do the girlfriend thing, Katherine.’
‘But you get lots of girls, right?’
He eyed me suspiciously. ‘Where is this going Katherine?’
‘I’m just trying to understand how you became this arrogant bastard.’
‘I’m not arrogant.’ He was shocked, even though this couldn’t have been the first time someone called him arrogant.
‘Don’t you think you can have any woman you want? That’s arrogant.’
‘No, Katherine, that’s not arrogant, that’s a fact.’
This was a worse case of arrogance than what I had thought. ‘Oh God! Who damaged you that much! Who made you think that?’ I was having too much fun with this.
‘Girls.’ He appeared honest; he truly believed he could have any woman he wanted.
‘So you have had any woman you have wanted in your life.’
‘Some that I haven’t wanted too.’
‘I just puked a little inside my mouth, Berkeley.’ It was disturbing to hear how he didn’t have a problem pointing out that women threw themselves to him.
‘Everyone wants something Katherine.’
‘Not following.’
He turned to look at me seriously. ‘Some girls want my money, some of them want my position, some want power, some want my body and some dare to want a husband. That’s how I get them, not even trying.’
‘Not all girls want that.’ I could only think about how he had “prejudice” tattooed on his face. I had heard this speech so many times before.
‘All the girls I know do.’
It was time to change his mind. ‘I have money, well not my own money but my daddy wants his little princess to be happy so I can count on his money. I don’t need your position, I don’t believe in that and even if I did I have my own position delivered by my family, thank you very much! I am not as powerful as you, but I have worked my ass off to get some power myself. And I would never be with a man just to satisfy society’s expectations of me. Someday I’m going to want a man to be my husband, not a husband that happens to be a man, that’s stupid.’
I was expecting a big argument, but he just smiled at me. ‘There’s just one more option.’
‘And what’s that?’ I was not understanding, there was nothing else I could want.
He took me under him in one smooth move, he’s strong enough to put me wherever he wanted. My body was trapped under him and he was looking me deeply in the eyes.
‘Berkeley what’s what I want?’
‘You want’ –kiss on my jaw-‘this’- kiss on my neck.
He kept kissing my ear, neck, jaw. Focus darling!
‘What’s this?’
‘You want my body Katherine.’
Every inch of it!
‘You are fucking kidding me, right? You can’t be more arrogant…’
He interrupted me, kissing me violently, a hard, perfect kiss. The festivities were on, his hands were slowly touching me, waist, ribs, boobs briefly, legs, ass and then one hand held my crotch entirely. It remained still, cupping the most intimate place on my body.
‘You haven’t understood it Katherine. This’ his grip became tighter. ‘is mine. Even when you fight it, every response of your body betrays you.’
His other hand left my hair and with just one finger he started tracing my carotid, from the top of my neck to my chest, then to my heart.
‘The way your heart beats faster when I touch you, how your breathing gets crazy and your mouth opens a little, even when you don’t notice it, asking me to kiss you.’
This time I noticed it, my jaw was on the floor. He’s got some nerve pointing out reactions that I couldn’t control. He complied with my silent request, kissing me in the sexiest way ever. His tongue researching my mouth, one of his hands remained between my legs, but it was still and just making his presence known, the other hand traveled along my body.
‘Katie, I’m home!’ Kevin’s voice sounded far but I knew he was in the living room.
I couldn’t have moved faster, my hands grabbed Dylan’s hands to stop him and I moved my face, escaping from his kiss.
‘We are in my room, darling! Dylan is here!’
I moved out of my perfect trap and stood up, making a lame attempt to fix my hair. My door was being opened.
‘Hey guys!
Mr. Hot Hands Bastard remained in my bed, making himself comfortable.
‘Hello Kevin.’
‘Katie, are you ok? You look a little blushed, are you getting sick again babe?’
‘Don’t think so, maybe I was angry or something, don’t worry.’ I couldn’t get why I was feeling as if my parents had caught me. I was a grown up woman and this was my bedroom, though I felt guilt all over my body. ‘Berkeley was just leaving.’
‘Was I?’ He looked at me confused, but also entertained by my overreaction.
‘Yes, tomorrow we have early jobs Dylan, and it’s getting late.’
Blue Eyes stood up, took my hand in his and directed me to the door. Kevin went straight to his room after shouting his goodbyes and closed his door to give us some privacy.
Blue Eyes wrapped my waist in his arms. ‘Tomorrow I am flying back to Chicago.’
Oh no!
‘Ok, I guess I’ll see you when I see you.’ I acted cool, I
didn’t want him to know I would miss him.
‘I’ll come back on Saturday, Katherine. I am seeing you on Saturday.’ Before I could fight his bossy manners he kissed me and whispered in my ear. ‘You.are.mine.’
Those words chilled me. I had never belonged to someone and I was not sure I was ready to. He was walking away, but I couldn’t stop my mouth.
‘Dylan, before you leave.’
He just waited for me, not coming back, just staring.
‘Why do you think no one can want you, just you?’
He smirked in that annoying way.
‘Because you can’t want what you don’t know, Katherine.’
He turned away, giving me the perfect view of his broad back and left. So Blue Perfect Eyes thought no one knew him enough to want him. That was interesting; it was entirely different approach from my personal situation. I was convinced that no one liked me because they knew me, his case was the other way around.
Chapter 16
The safe feeling of his absence was back that week, he was out of town, he was working and I was lonely again. I focused on work as usual and gave my parents a couple of phone calls, they always make me feel like myself when I am a little lost.
On Tuesday, finally, after many days without even seeing with Kevin we both got home early from work with no plans for the evening. That was perfect, a lazy night with my handsome friend.
‘Finally stranger! I was about to look for another roommate!’
He sat on the couch with me. ‘Hey, baby girl, I have been busy.’
Kevin and Michelle were two faces of a coin. Kevin had his own mental challenge, to sleep with as many girls as he could, no strings attached. Michelle wanted to fall in love, to have serious relationships, unfortunately they never worked, so she had had as many loves of her life as Kevin had had one night stands. And I was the boring part of our friendship, no love, no sex.
I pushed his shoulder with mine in a playful way. ‘Please tell me how you can survive without fresh clothes for a four day weekend?’
‘I come here sometimes and some of my regulars deserve to have a Kevin stash at their places.’
‘You are the most disgusting man I have met in my life. Your regulars must be poor souls with no self esteem.’ Making fun of Kevin had always been an important part of our relationship.
‘Hey! They are nice girls and they like me. And don’t you dare judge me after I caught you making out like a fourteen year old!’
My face became Valentino Garavani red. ‘We weren’t making out!’
He laughed at me, he knew he got me. ‘Oh, please, sugar! Your boy had a party in his pants and you were breathing like a fat boy running.’
‘Shut up!’ Too embarrassed for a 25-year-old woman, I covered my face with my hands.
‘It’s ok baby, it’s great to finally discover you may have it in you! And don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying this like those bitches in high school. I know for a fact that you have a heart and some blood in your veins, cold, but blood at last. But all of this is weird you know?’
I knew, this was way too weird for me. ‘What? That I am not a bitch made of stone?’
‘No, that you went after a player. You are the ice princess, too good for anyone type of girl, so getting involved with the ultimate player is kind of weird. Though I guess it makes sense.’
‘How?’ Now I was intrigued, I wanted to know everything he could perceive.
‘Yeah, if he just wants sex, then you can remain unattached, just as you like. You stay unapproachable, because he only gets you when you want. Freakin’ genius!’
This made sense, who would know that Kevin’s slutty experience would help me. ‘You should become a shrink Kev!’
‘I know, I am some kind of hidden talent waiting to be discovered. But there’s just one part that I can’t figure out.’ He had really invested time analyzing my relationship with Dylan, apparently much more time than me.
‘And what’s that?’
‘That he keeps treating you like his girlfriend.’
I almost choked on my own saliva. What was Kevin talking about!? I had always been smart enough to keep myself out of ambiguous relationships. Basically because everyone knew that we were not dating unless I said we were. Chill out! Dig in!
‘Why do you say that?’
‘Oh honey, don’t play dumb with me, you know! He tries to be in contact with you even when he’s in another state. I have seen his gorilla waiting for you every morning, he sent his gorilla to shop for our groceries. He even plays nice with me to have me on his side! And of course the ultimate commitment demonstration, listen to this because this is MEN’S Brain class 101. When we don’t want a girl to think we are in a relationship we avoid everyday activities, like weekends, breakfasts, chores and grocery shopping. Those are obligations that we only have to do with girlfriends.’
I found a flaw on his investigation so I jumped in. ‘Bullshit, you spend the weekend with your regulars.’
As the teacher he was playing, he moved his finger to indicate that I was wrong. ‘No, I spend Friday with one, Saturday with another and Sunday with the one I like the most. This guy has endured your boring and unattractive TV weekend with you, even when you are not wearing makeup. That’s too intimate, honey!’
I love Kevin, but his aversion to admitting women were humans was killing me. ‘Kev, do you realize how stupid everything you are saying is?’
‘Don’t know, maybe that’s his game, he gets that many woman by making them think they’re in a real relationship. I would try it! Trust me babe, you are weird, most of the girls want real relationships, you are the exception to the rule.’
Was I? At this point I was starting to doubt it. I was fine being lonely, but at some point I would want to get married, have kids and live a happy boring life. Maybe I was like all those suckers.
I needed to stop this conversation before Kevin noticed my thoughts. ‘Baby you get dumber by the second, just shut up and keep being a hot piece of ass.’
Fucking Kevin put that in my head, now I wanted to let Dylan know that we were just having fun, no strings attached, no commitment. Which meant no intimacy further than random, casual sexual encounters. That was the definition of our relationship in my head and it was a fine definition.
Friday night came and I spent it as usual, watching TV and going to bed early. I was completely asleep when the noise of steps close to my bed woke me up. Someone had entered the apartment and I was alone, panic froze me. I could hear the invader removing his shoes and putting his watch on my night table. I gathered all my courage and turned around to confront that son of a bitch.
‘Go back to sleep, doll.’
I must be dreaming. He looked perfect, but he couldn’t be real. He was coming back on Saturday and it was still Friday. ‘Dylan?’
He smiled and kissed my forehead. ‘Yeah baby, who were you expecting?’
‘You scared the hell out of me, who let you in?’ Even in the middle of my somnolent state I knew this was weird.
‘I have a key.’
‘You what?!’ I was shouting, now I was wide awake!
NOTE TO MYSELF: Sleep with my bra on from now on.
‘Shhh, we’ll talk tomorrow, I just wanted to sleep with you.’
He got into bed and spooned me. I was really angry, but I had missed his touch and he smelled really good. I moved my hand to touch him and noticed he was still wearing his jeans.
‘Why are you keeping your jeans on?’
He whispered in my ear. ‘I though you would freak out if I took them off.’
‘You didn’t think I would freak out because you have my house key without my permission but I would freak out because you took your jeans off?’
Without answering he stood up, took his jeans off and came back to bed just in his shirt and boxer briefs. I was not making a sex proposal, but I knew that sleeping in jeans was the most uncomfortable thing in the world. I relaxed in his arms and fell asleep again.
&nbs
p; The morning was here and I was too comfortable to wake up. I opened my eyes slowly and found out that Dylan was staring at me, piercing me with those perfect eyes.
‘What are you doing stalker?’
‘Watching you sleep.’ He smiled; that smile that could melt icebergs.
‘I know, that’s why I’m calling you stalker, the question is, why are you doing it?’
He laid back looking at my ceiling. ‘You look calm when you are sleeping, beautiful, you feel so approachable that I think I can touch you, but then you are asleep and I don’t want to wake you up, so I can’t touch you. I think it resumes the way you are.’
‘Too deep for this early on a Saturday, Berkeley. And bullshit won’t get you out of the trouble. Why the hell do you have a key to my apartment?’
He smiled at me, every time he got into trouble he smiled. Maybe that was his way out in boarding school. ‘So I can see you whenever I want.’
‘That statement could be a reason for a restraining order, you know?’
‘No restraining order would keep me away from you.’
He was an adorable stalker and I felt something warm in my chest. ‘Why did you come back early?’
He came to me and removed a strand of hair that was on my face. ‘I missed you. It’s been too long and I wanted to wake up with you in my arms.’
‘You are too weird.’ I smiled and winked at him, this was my way of letting him know I was kidding.
‘I am not weird, I am honest. People usually hide the real motives behind their actions, I don’t.’
The atmosphere was changing to something thicker, I needed a way out. ‘Ok philosopher, are you spending the day here?’
‘No, we are going to my apartment, so get dressed. And I talked to Kevin, we are going to a club with him tonight.’
I’ve always hated to be bossed around and to be ignored while making decisions, but I was learning that after deciding mine and my staff’s future, it was a relief to have a man telling me what to do instead of asking me. Not that I would admit it. ‘Ok, I’ll take a shower, you can sleep some more and I’ll be ready in an hour ok?’
He just kissed my forehead and went back to sleep. He got into the shower while I was putting my makeup on. I noticed his luggage was in my room so I went to the kitchen so he could have some privacy.
BLUE ICE (ICE SERIES) Page 14