Within the Cards

by Donna Altman

  Mr. Dundford’s dyslexia was extreme. All of the names he called were in reverse order, as well as the roll itself. He began the roll at the end of the alphabet.

  “Valeness, Eleanor.” He called from the desk where he sat as he looked over the dark rimmed glasses that sat on the bridge of his nose.

  She acknowledged her presences. This was the name I longed to hear for many decades. It was a name, which if I could dream would fill my nights with sweet memories of our past. However, I wasn’t capable of dreaming, that was exclusively a human endowment. My nights filled themselves with nightmares of death and destruction. Regardless, I knew it wasn’t a dream or a nightmare because I was wide-awake.

  “Ms Valeness,” he called to her “are you named after the great Eleanor Roosevelt?”

  I couldn’t help myself as I chuckled. She snarled at me in return. I knew Ellie was far older than this fair female.

  “No,” she replied in a short, impatient answer. I could smell her venom as she glared at him.

  “Do you go by Eleanor or Ellie?” He asked.

  Again, I chuckled, and she snarled. Ellie quickly looked in my direction, which told me she was daring me to make another sound.

  “Eleanor, I do prefer.” She answered him, and then gave him a look of ‘this is enough’. The daggers she shot in his direction and the fierceness in the evil look she gave him made him clear his throat. I knew her point came across when he continued through the roll. After several names, he reached mine and called it.

  “McRyne, Daughtry,” he called.

  I tried to answer without showing her I hoped she would recognize my name, but I couldn’t help myself I had to look in her direction. I saw no recollection.

  “Are you called by another name?” He questioned again looking over the black-rimmed glasses.

  “Yes sir, Daught.” I responded. I glanced at Ellie, and she was smiling. Had she recognized the name she called for so long? However, that was when I saw the evilness in her grin. I tried to remove myself from her thoughts, but they were loud and vicious.

  “Daught is it? You look more like a scared vermin rat to me,” she lashed her thoughts at me. She sat in her seat with a smirk of pride. She flipped her hand through her hair and sat up straight and tall in her seat.

  “Ellie, you never had trouble calling my name in the past,” I playfully thought back at her. She didn’t take my words as playfully as I intended. She raised the upper lip of one side of her month and exposed her razor sharp fang. I knew this was my final warning for the day. I backed off without a response. I felt the hatred she employed for my kind and me. Once again, I realized she was a different being than the one I last spoke with so many decades ago.

  As the hour block sped by, the class ended. The other students filed out of the room. They were ready to continue to their next class, but I wasn't so eager to start mine. We both stayed in our seats. It was as if we tempted the other to move first. We were at a standoff, and I knew she would react to this as a threat. My normal behavior was to never back-down to anyone, but I knew she wouldn’t back down either. I made the decision to retreat and to give her the space she needed. This was not the time or the place to confront her. At least, not before she had time to remember who I was. She had to remember me. I would make sure of this; I could not let her walk away from me again. I wouldn’t lose her this time.

  I moved from my seat and started to the door. She persuaded behind me. I felt the heat from her scowl. Her kind hated hybrids and she saw me as one. They considered us the lower class in line for the human-food chain. We were mongrels. As for most of my persuasion, as well as hers, this was true, but she forgot she taught me her ways. I existed by these ways for the one hundred and ten years, since I became an immortal vampire.

  I spent my first ten years as an immortal with Ellie. The ten years we spent together lingered in my memory, but she didn’t remember them. This was no fault of her own, but I still had hopes somewhere inside of her, she would remember something about me. For now, my hopes were not working out. She didn’t remember me, and her thoughts were of wanting me worse than dead.

  When Ellie found me many years ago, we felt love for each other at first sight. It was love for eternity for me, but for Ellie, the eternity was a short ten years.

  “Why do you insist I know you vamp, and why do you insist I forgot something?” She sneered from behind me. I felt the hatred of her race lashing needles in my back. I wanted to turn around, but the thought of her hatred lashing out at me, personally was more than I could stand. I stopped in my ascent and closed my eye. Without turning around, I answered her.

  “Because you do, and you have; if you could only remember what your family took away from you. You would remember our lives together. Ellie, I love you, and somewhere deep inside of you, you love me too.” I pledged through my thoughts as I continued to keep my eyes closed and lowered my head. I wanted her to remember our love, but she was blank. She began to laugh.

  “Me? Love a Vamp, never. Stay out of my way and we will get along fine in this class, but if you cross me I will make you sorry your maker ever found you.” Her thoughts lashed out at me. She said them with arrogance in her tone. When I finally turned to face her, the look she gave me was bizarre, as if I caught her off guard.

  She moved in front of me and rushed toward the door. She knew no one was in the class except me so she stopped. She turned in my direction and gave me an evil smile. She snapped her fingers disappearing in a flash. I wondered if she would ever realize she was my maker.

  If I could pray, I would pray that if she did remember me, she would never be sorry she had done this forbidden act of creating me. Ellie thought I had gone over the edge. She thought I was an insane mental case. I was beginning to think she was right.

  Chapter Three

  ONCE BITTEN

  I opened the doors to the lecture hall after Ellie disappeared. Once again, I faced the scene of what the cold wind of fall in Maryland did to humans. I was in a phase of shock after seeing Ellie. However, I started the descent back to my dorm room. My excitement of seeing her just a short time ago had faded and the darkness of loneliness returned. As I walked my mind was on the new Ellie. The Ellie that was now in the same class I attended and the one that was different from the last time I spoke with her. She was a dark clone of the Ellie I once loved. I couldn’t believe she didn’t recognize me. We were in love, and I thought love conquered all. However, this new form hated me for no other reason than being different from her race. I wanted the old Ellie back. I needed her.

  My memories of the old Ellie raced through my mind. I was the only one, other than her sisters that she allowed to call her Ellie. She proclaimed, when other people called her by this name, it sounded like the articulation of being a ‘pet pig’. As I recalled this thought, I smiled to myself. This was the Ellie I remembered. These memories of our past together took me back to a time of recalling her usual humorous ways, which always made me laugh.

  We sat on the side of a mountain in Canada the day she told me the reason she didn’t like the name, Ellie. She took her finger and turned up her nose as if she were forming a snout like a pig. She laughed so playfully. It sounded as if the Gods from above were tickling the angel cherubs.

  I reached the dorm within a few minutes from the cross campus walk. Other students took their cars to make the trip, but I preferred walking. At times, I leaped and made this trip within a few seconds. Of course, this was only if there were no mortals around. I didn’t want to blow my cover of being an ordinary student.

  I opened the door to the dorm that lucky I shared with no one. It was a small, dark room with a lamp that housed the glow of a new fluorescent bulb. This was the only radiation of light in the room. The walls were the standard college dorm white. The room’s contents were of a single bed covered with a white sheet, and a desk with a laptop that was barely used pushed to one side. My race didn’t need today’s technology. We only used it to search for other immortal be
ings through websites that most thought were scary archives of lies.

  I didn’t own a cell phone. I had no one to call and if I wanted to know what someone was thinking I listened to his or her thoughts. These phones seem to have become an extension to a mortal’s ear or, better yet, their fingertips. It was strange these humans could call someone and talk to them, but they insisted on using their fingers to type out conversations to communicate. I would never understand these humans, but this was a good thing. My fingers would botch the English language, if I had to use a small key board to type.

  The other side of the room housed shelves of books I collected over the decades of my lonely journeys. I had no idea why I filled the shelves with books from my past. I guessed it would be to establish some familiarity in hopes to forget the realization I was alone. Other students would just see this as being a nerd with so many books.

  During the time I was a mortal teenager, we didn’t have palm pilots or hand held computers to answer our questions. We had to find these answers between the pages of books. I don’t know what these mortals of today would do if the electric circuit that powered these devices failed and had no other choice, but to rely on the material that lay between unused pages.

  Most humans felt scared of me because they feared my differences. Of course, if I were them I wouldn’t like me much either. I was waxen and antisocial, so who would want to have the pleasure of associating with me. They considered me somewhat gothic. I never showed emotion because at the time, there was very little in my life that made me happy or sad. I just existed, but I did not see myself as gothic.

  These students dressed in black, and wanted to be like me. They had no idea of what they wanted because no sane person would want to feast off the blood of a human, or live for an eternity. They had no idea how long forever was. They were misguided and didn’t realize the imperishable world wasn't the glamorous place these undying want-a-be’s thought.

  I was relieved I lived alone because I didn’t sleep much at night. I hunted most of the time. The cover of darkness obscured my feeding habits. Humans would never understand my way of nutrition. Through the years, I learned to tolerate being around humans, but for their protection, it was better I didn’t share my living quarters with them.

  My thoughts returned to Ellie. Perhaps she was right; maybe I was disturbed. I fit the profile of antisocial behavior, but of course, this was not by choice. She doesn’t remember that my existence was her choice.

  I lay on the bed I hardly used because my sleeping habits were almost nonexistent. At night, when I wasn’t hunting, I laid in a comatose state. This was something like a state of meditation. However, I lay here today, and again, I retrieved my thoughts of Ellie.

  She was my center of existence now more than ever. I tried to recall the scent of her being. As it came to me, I secured it in my mind. My hopes were if I closed my eyes, the last century would be a horrible nightmare and a part of hell that wasn’t my reality. However, it wasn’t a nightmare. Ellie could never be part of a nightmare. The last few hours that began when I saw Ellie had to be a dream, but I don’t have dreams during the time I mediated. I realized no matter how tight I closed my eyes the last century was my true reality, and this dream of Ellie wasn’t a dream but a reality. I found myself not knowing if I could trust my interpretation between reality and dreams, much less, the difference between a dream and a nightmare. However, my thoughts returned to my past with Ellie.

  The first time I laid eyes on Ellie was one of the memories from my moral life that was still visible. It was in the year eighteen ninety-nine. I was in the United States Navy on board the USS Maine. I was a Petty Officer first class. My given name was Vincent Daughtry McRyne. I do remember the name Daughtry came from my great-grandfather, and I had always been called Daught for short. The government sent my ship to Havana, Cuba, so we could protect the United States of America’s involvement. The Spanish-American War had ended, and the Philippine-American War had begun.

  It was in February that my time as a mortal would end. Late one night early in the month, I was sleeping in my quarters as I had every night I was not on duty. The next memory I had, though my memories of the explosion are vague, was of an enormous fireball that passed through the vessel. The pressure from the blast must have blown a hole in the wall of the vessel near my bunk because I was instantly thrust away from the ship into the water of the harbor. I sank in the vast warmth of its blackness. It was dark and tranquil. I welcomed the end because these warm waters soothed the intensity of my burning flesh. That was when I felt a pull from within the depths of darkness.

  My eyes focused only to see what I thought had to be an angel coming to reclaim my soul. My life must have been over, and God had sent an angel to collect me. My thoughts were that the explosion killed me. I felt like I was outside my body as I looked upon this beautiful form. I didn’t realize it then, but my life as I knew it was over. However, it wasn’t because of the explosion of the ship. My life changed forever because of this angel. My eyes fixed on this angel with the eyes of ice.

  My next memory was of being far from the harbor. I could no longer hear the sobs in the dark, or smell the stench of wet burnt flesh. When I looked up, I was speechless. She was beautiful, so fantastic my eyes could not leave her. I was immediately in love with this woman. This wasn’t like a love I had ever known before. This love was complete and compelling. Her suffocating beauty engulfed me. I remember she told me I was dying. My mind would not function to understand the words of death. I was in the presence of an angel, and I welcomed the end of my human life to spend eternity with this godly creature. My voice escaped me. I could not respond to her because no sound would come. All I knew was I could not take my eyes off this divine form. Ellie looked at me with caring eyes. Those iced color eyes penetrated me with warmth. I heard her voice. It was soft and sweet. It sucked the breath out of me.

  “I’m tired of walking this world alone. I don’t want to be like my family before me”. She stated with concern in her eyes. “You are dying, but I can save you. I hope it doesn’t hurt. I hope I don’t destroy you in the process; you’re dying. I have to make this work. Don’t leave me, please fight through the pain,” she insisted.

  I saw the concern in her eyes as she held me in her arms. Though I felt the burns on my body I felt the pain in her voice even more, and I wanted to make that pain stop. I didn’t hear the words she was saying to me, but even if I had, I wouldn’t have been able to stop her.

  With that, she leaned close to me. I remember, although, I felt pain from the burnt flesh on my body and smelled the hot, melted skin, I wanted her to touch me. I wanted to feel her kiss. She moved closer to me, but she didn’t move toward my lips. Her lips met my neck. Then I felt the piercing pain from what I later found were from her fangs as she sank them deep in to my jugular vein. The euphoria that came over me was so intense, I heard myself moan. I felt weak, but consumed with pleasure. I realized something wet was dripping in my mouth. I tasted the warm, salty liquid. Then an urge in me rose to attack the need for the beverage that found my mouth. I pulled its source to me. She kissed my forehead, and I heard her tell me to drink from her. This was the venom that would change my existence forever.

  I felt a burning that was far worse than the burning of the flesh that rolled off my body. This burn moved through my entire body so quickly I knew my human body would incinerate at anytime. She continued to fill me with the burning venom. I tried to fight, but I could not push her arm away from me. Paralyzed and void of movement, I was useless and unable to scream for help. My human reactions failed me. I froze while the fight or flight instincts left me. I couldn’t fight; I couldn’t flight. My humanity was no longer.

  I felt my soul drift out of my body as it looked down on what remained of my human form. I knew this was the end. I looked down at my body, but it was still moving. I soon realized it had no soul. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. I felt myself return to my body, and as I looked up, I watched my s
oul ascend and drifted away until it vanished.

  The transformation was quick and painful. That was the last thing I distinctly remember of my mortal life. Ellie cast a spell on me that prevented me from feeling any more pain from the transformation. I fell asleep for what would be the last time I slept like a normal human.

  My next memory remained much clearer than the ones before my transformation. With these images burnt in my mind, I began to wake up with a thrust so strong I wanted to drench it with the pleasure that only came from a tall ice-cold glass of water on a hot summer’s day. However, this wasn’t a thrust for water. I felt the need for the taste of the warmth, the salt, the thickness of crimson. This was a craving for something I tasted a short while ago. The need for blood brought back the memory of the blood that filled my mouth when I injured it a few months before my turning. A chain hit me in the mouth while I was working on the ship. The taste of blood was what I craved. It was a taste that sickened me before my change, but now I wanted to invite it into my mouth. I wanted to drink the blood of anything and everything.

  I opened my eyes to see her. She was standing beside me. She was beautiful, but not even her beauty dwarfed my unquenchable need to drink. The thirst overwhelmed me. Nothing could control the need for the crimson feast I craved. I realized I could not move. My body was in perfect condition, but I could not move. I felt restrained by ropes that didn’t exist. I didn’t know she was restraining me with her magical powers. These were powers that I would soon learn more about their strength and ability.

  This was the point when I realized I was no longer alive as in the human form. I was now an immortal being, and I would feast off the humans I once sat at the table and feasted with on normal human foods. I thought I would be sick to my stomach, but the reaction was nothing, but a need and a want for the fluid that kept these humans alive.