Northern Renegade

by Jennifer Labrecque

  There were two issues here. One, she wasn’t exactly sure what Liam Reinhardt was to her. Second, she didn’t owe Bradley an explanation as to what Liam was to her—Bradley had forfeited the right to know when he’d cheated on her. The first question, however, was easy enough. “He’s a former Marine sharpshooter, a sniper who is living next door.”

  “Oh. What is he to you?”

  “That’s private.”

  Bradley narrowed his eyes but nodded nonetheless. “We’ll talk tomorrow.”

  * * *

  LIAM ADDED A CAN OF TUNA to the pasta noodles and stirred it all together. It wasn’t gourmet by a long shot, but it was dinner, after a fashion.

  The Suburban had been gone by the time he’d gone out for his swim. Something had crawled over him, gone through him, when he’d driven up and seen—what was his name?—Bradley, with his arms around Tansy. He’d been a little disturbed and curious. It was like finding out the enemy had broached your perimeter. Although Bradley wasn’t exactly the enemy. Tansy was simply a short-term thing, nothing more and nothing less which suited him just fine considering where his life was at this juncture. He was too unsettled and at a loss for her to be any more or any less.

  He heard her door close and shortly thereafter her footfalls as she mounted his steps, then her knock. The first thing he noticed when he opened the door was that she’d changed into a pair of jeans and a T-shirt.

  “Hey,” she said.

  “Hey, yourself,” he said with a smile. He stood aside to let her in. Desire, hot and swift, flared inside him at the cling of her jeans to her hips and the way her

  T-shirt hugged her breasts. “You okay?”

  She didn’t pretend to misunderstand him. “Yeah. Still a little surprised, but I’m fine.”

  “You didn’t know he was coming?”

  Tansy’s laughter held a note of incredulity. “Uh, no. We haven’t kept in touch. I haven’t heard from or seen Bradley in over a month.”

  “You still up for dinner?”

  “A girl’s got to eat.” She smiled. “But maybe you could take a rain check on the back rub. And I’m not sure I’ll be the best company.”

  “I can live without a back rub. And don’t worry about whether you’re good company or not. We’ll just eat, okay?”

  “It’s a deal. Thanks.”

  “Have a seat and I’ll dish it up. You may want to hold the thanks, though, because it’s just stove-top tuna. It’s one of only a couple of things I cook. My big criteria in the kitchen is quick, easy and some semblance of nutrition.”

  She sat down at the small kitchen table while he spooned up the food. “Water or milk?”

  “Water, please.”

  Liam brought the food and drinks to the table and then settled in the chair across from her.

  “Dig in.”

  “It’s good. Kind of like comfort food. My mom used to make something similar when we were kids and she got in late from work.”

  “Glad you like it. So, was it a nice visit?”

  “I can’t say that it was nice. It just was. Is.”

  “I see. Is he sticking around for a while?”

  “Jenna says he’s here for two days. We’re going for a hike tomorrow.”

  Liam nodded. “I’m guessing if he came all this way he wants you to go back with him.”

  “That’s what he says.”

  “I see. I guess you’ve got some decisions to make.”

  She shrugged. “I guess I do.”

  “Just so you know, Wellington, I don’t share.”

  “I didn’t think you did. You don’t strike me as that type. Neither do I, Reinhardt. I’ll let you know if things change.”

  “Fair enough.” He didn’t want things to change. He wanted them to roll along the way they were until she left. He enjoyed her company and the sex was good, too...make that better than good. And there wasn’t a whole helluva lot more to be said on that topic. “So, you never did say how you got started writing a column for the lovelorn.”

  “You never did ask.”

  “I’m asking now.”

  “It’s really kind of crazy the way it all happened. My degree is in art history with a minor in psychology. I know, they’re not even remotely related. I always seemed to be the go-to girl when my girlfriends needed relationship advice and it always seemed to work out pretty good for them when they listened to me. It almost became something of a joke. As a lark, one of my friends set up a webpage and before I knew it, I went viral. Agnes, my friend who’d set up the page, suggested selling ads. Well, at that point we didn’t have to sell anything because we were being approached by advertisers. I loved doing that a whole lot more than the job I had and I was being stretched pretty thin, keeping up with the website and my day job so I dumped the day job and started working the website full-time.”

  “You ever hear from people who say your advice sucked?”

  “Occasionally. But it’s mostly a case of people sometimes not wanting to hear what you have to say. The thing I love about it is I feel as if I make a positive difference in people’s lives. Even if I tell them what they don’t want to hear, it’s really to get them to a healthier place.”

  “So you can really live anywhere. Work anywhere.”

  “As long as I’ve got an internet connection, I’m in business.”

  “That’s a nice freedom.”

  “Yeah. I guess it is. I hadn’t really thought about it. I always liked where I lived. But when my relationship with Bradley went down I came out here to get away for a while. Plus, I hadn’t seen Emma yet.”

  “Do you miss...where is it...Chattanooga?”

  “Not as much as I had thought I would. But it’s one thing to go away for a visit and a whole different ball game to think about moving for good.”

  “Yeah. I understand.”

  He got up and moved behind her. He put his hands on her shoulders and rubbed. “You’re tense. Relax. I’ll give you the back rub and you can catch me up another time. Deal?”

  “That’s a nice offer, but you know what I’d find much more relaxing?”

  She caught his hand in hers and brought it to her mouth, pressing a kiss to his knuckles. Half an hour ago, he’d have turned her down, but then half an hour ago she wouldn’t have made the offer because mentally she had been somewhere else, her mind wrapped up in her ex. Now, he didn’t need to be asked twice.

  “That works for me.” He helped her to her feet and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close, simply holding her for a moment. He kissed her, slow, deep, thoroughly, testing the weight of his lips against hers, discovering the recesses of her mouth, the texture of her tongue. He pulled away from her.

  “Let’s go to the bedroom.” He didn’t feel the franticness he’d felt before, last night and the night before. He wanted slow time with her.

  “Okay.”

  They went into the bedroom and silently, of one accord, undressed. Unhurried. He pulled back the covers and they climbed into bed together. He touched her cheek, her neck, feeling the beat of her heart, the rush of her blood, beneath his fingertips. Still silent, she smoothed her hand over his jaw, palmed his chest.

  He kissed the ridge of her collarbone, weighed the fullness of her breasts. He traced the darker circle of her areola and then teased his tongue against her ripe nipple. He lapped at her and then took the turgid point in his mouth and suckled as she plied her fingers through his hair and moaned in the back of her throat.

  He kissed his way down her torso to the softness of her belly. He nuzzled at the curves of her hips.

  “Liam.” She spoke his name softly, almost a sigh.

  He felt the fullness of her thighs, the firmness of her calves, and tested the delicate arches of her feet with his hands. Then he made his way back up to the soft, wet folds beneath the fullness of her bush.

  He pulled on a condom and eased into her. She was beautiful, her dark head against his pillow, the softness overlying the steel that was her, welcoming him
inside her. She draped her legs over his shoulders and he wrapped his hands around her thighs, going deeper, harder, as if he could get to the core of her, meld with her.

  He felt her tense, felt the tightening of her around him. She fisted her hands in the sheets. He came with her, riding the orgasm that seemed to come from some place inside her, inside him.

  11

  THE NEXT DAY, TANSY GLANCED at the clock on her computer—almost eleven.

  Despite dinner and the incredible time with Liam, which had rendered her beyond relaxed at the time, she hadn’t slept worth a damn last night. If anything, the great sex with him had further complicated everything. She’d lain awake for what felt like all night, thoughts whirling through her head like a dervish.

  She needed, wanted, some clarity but she was just as unsettled and confused as she had been. Actually, more so. Her plan, at this point after turning over both Liam and Bradley in her head all night, was just to hear Bradley out. She’d let him have his say and then figure it out from there.

  It didn’t mean he was in charge, but she was curious as to what was going on in his mind, his heart. She’d like to say she didn’t care, but now that the shock and numbness had worn off, she did.

  The sound of an engine coming closer heralded his arrival. The door slammed and the vehicle retreated as Bradley’s footsteps reverberated on the porch steps.

  Her heart tattooing against her ribs, she opened the door and stepped out onto the porch. “Morning,” she said.

  “Good morning.” Even though his jeans and T-shirt were neat and pressed, he looked as if he hadn’t slept any better than she had.

  She found his haggardness gratifying. She had cried a veritable river over him, especially early on, so it was somewhat mollifying to see that he’d lost at least one night’s sleep over her. She also found it slightly endearing.

  “You ready?” she said.

  “I don’t even get invited in?”

  No. She still wasn’t ready for Bradley’s energy in her space, even if it was a temporary space. That had been one of the reasons she’d come here in the first place. She’d move forward very cautiously. “I asked you to go for a hike, not sit in my den.”

  He wasn’t particularly happy with her answer but he didn’t have much recourse. He nodded. “Okay.”

  She walked down the porch steps and out into the bright day. Bradley followed her. The sun was warm against her skin. The light sparkled on the lake like diamonds scattered across its surface. The air, crisp and clean, sifted through the trees. Birds called to one another as if celebrating the day. At the end of the dirt path that led to Liam’s cabin, Tansy hesitated.

  Several trails ran through the property. The best-marked trail was the one she and Liam had taken the evening they’d spent at Juliette and Sven’s place. It skirted the lake and offered stunning views of both the water and the mountains. However, she chose a more rugged path that ran perpendicular to that trail and led through the spruces to a clearing.

  “This way,” she said.

  “You’ve become a regular nature girl, huh?” His laugh held a forced note.

  Tansy didn’t answer, letting the silence stretch between them as the towering evergreens filtered the sun to an arboreal twilight. She was giving him an audience, but it didn’t mean she was going to make it easy for him. He didn’t deserve an easy path, either figuratively or literally.

  He stumbled over a root. “You’re not going to make this easy, are you?”

  The man did know her fairly well. “Life isn’t fair or easy a lot of times, is it? I guess you make the most of whatever opportunity you find yourself given.”

  “I don’t really know where to start.”

  She said nothing, continuing to put one foot in front of another. That had been all she’d been capable of when she’d first arrived here, simply putting one foot in front of another. Bradley would either find the words he wanted or he wouldn’t.

  The tall evergreens blocked the sun, save for the occasional shards of light that pierced the green canopy. The smell of his cologne struck a discordant note with the scent of fresh loamy earth and the trees. Ahead of them, the path and twilight gave way to a small opening of meadow. Tansy had often wondered what had occurred that nothing but grasses grew in the small space. She walked to the center and sank to the ground, wrapping her arms about her knees, the sun warm against her shoulders and back. Bradley lowered himself to sit beside her.

  “This is beautiful. Remote but beautiful.”

  “I know.”

  He drew an audibly deep breath. “Okay, I screwed up. Actually, that’s an understatement.” No kidding. He paused and plunged on. “It was a couple of drinks and temporary insanity. That’s no excuse, just what happened.” He looked at her. “God, if I could go back and take it back I would but I can’t. I’ve missed you like crazy.” Real pain thickened his voice. “I’ve missed the sound of your voice—” he paused as if at a loss “—your head on the pillow next to mine in the morning, talking to you...just being with you.”

  His words resonated with her. She’d felt all of that herself. Some men weren’t great communicators, but that had never been Bradley’s problem. Words came easily to him. The fact that he was struggling now spoke volumes in and of itself. She didn’t doubt his sincerity at all.

  “Would you please, please say something?” he said, desperation echoing in his words.

  She responded honestly. “I’ve missed you.” And she had, dreadfully. He had haunted her days and nights...until she’d met Liam.

  “God, that’s a relief. I’ve missed you...been so lost without you. I was so scared...and then when I saw that guy yesterday. Damn, lambchop, I didn’t sleep at all last night.”

  Guilt assaulted her. He really wouldn’t have slept if he’d been a fly on the bedroom wall. She pushed aside the guilt. She and Bradley weren’t an item anymore. He had torn that apart when he’d climbed into bed with that other woman. And he’d said it was a case of a few drinks and bad judgment.

  “Are you saying it was just that one time?” she said.

  “Does it matter?”

  Did it matter? She wasn’t sure. Either way it couldn’t be undone. “I don’t know.”

  “It was twice. I swear it was only twice.”

  It felt like a knife going through her. Twice with the same woman or twice under those circumstances? “The same woman?”

  “God, yes.”

  She felt sick inside. So, it wasn’t as if one night and one mistake had been their undoing. He’d seen her again, another time. “Okay.”

  “What does okay mean?”

  It was funny how a sense of betrayal could uncoil inside you all over again. “Just that. Okay.”

  “So, this guy next door to you...you’ve slept with him?” There was no missing the edge to his voice. Good. Let him feel a little of what she was feeling, not that it was the same or even close to the same. She’d betrayed nothing when she’d slept with Liam because there’d been nothing to betray.

  “Yes.”

  “More than once?”

  She gave him back his earlier words. “Does it make a difference?”

  “Then we’re even,” he said.

  Tell her that hadn’t just come out of his stupid mouth. “Really?” Outrage escalated her voice an octave. She swallowed hard and strove for her normal tone. “There’s no ‘even’ to it. We’re not engaged anymore.” She held up her hand. “Do you see a ring on this finger?”

  “That’s why I’m here.” He shifted, digging in his jeans pocket, and pulled out a small velvet-covered box. He opened the top and the ring, her ring, sparkled in the sun. The night he’d proposed, the night he’d first shown her the ring, a symbol of promise, a declaration of love and fidelity and a lifetime of ever-after, the joy—it all rushed back at her and it all seemed little more than a mockery now. “Because this ring isn’t on your finger and that’s wrong.” She determinedly looked away from the ring. It was just a thing. “I want to mak
e things right. I want this ring back on that finger. I love you. I want us to fix things. I want us back together.”

  She stood, unable to sit any longer, a restlessness gripping her. She hadn’t expected the ring. She looked down at him and absently noticed his bald spot on the top of his head had grown. She’d known it was there and it hadn’t mattered. Ring still in hand, he rose to his feet.

  “Put the ring away before you lose it,” she said.

  “If I put it on your finger then we’ll both know where it is.”

  She shook her head. “Put it back in your pocket. I’m not sure that’s what I want anymore.”

  “Shh. Don’t say anything else right now.” He did, however, close the box and return it to his pocket. “Tansy, will you at least think about it? I’m begging you to give me another chance.”

  She wavered. She didn’t know if she had it in her to give him a second chance. However, she found that she just couldn’t walk away from him. She didn’t know what she wanted.

  She spoke slowly, weighing her words. “I’ll think about it. You’ve got to give me some time.”

  “Thank you.” He pulled her close and inhaled. “I’ve missed the way you smell.” He nuzzled down her face and murmured, “The way you taste.” For the first time in what felt like a lifetime his mouth was on hers. He smoothed his hand over her hip and pulled her closer to him. There was no missing his erection against her.

  She pushed away. “Bradley...”

  He tried to pull her close again. “I want you, lambchop. In every way.”

  She stepped back, out of his reach. “I said I’d think about us, but we’re not just picking back up where we left off.”

  “I know. It’s just hard, lambie.” She could attest to that firsthand. And she’d always loved it when he called her that pet name, but it was sort of working her nerves right now. “I’ve missed you.” He stepped behind her and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her back hard against him. His breath brushed against her neck as he murmured in her ear. She had always loved it when he did that. “I could make you feel so good.” He cupped her breasts in his hands. “Let me kiss your vajayjay. You know I know just the way you like it.”