Service with a Smirk

by Ariel Tachna

  “Are you ready?” Mathias asked. “I thought we’d take a cab. The restaurant isn’t easy to get to on the bus.”

  “We can do that,” Pascal said, “or we can take my car. I regularly consider getting rid of it since I don’t use it very often, but then there’s something like tonight, and I’m glad I have it.”

  Mathias wished he had the luxury of keeping a car, but it just wasn’t feasible on his current salary or in his current situation. “If you want to drive, that’s fine, but if we take a cab, you don’t have to worry about driving home.”

  “Are you planning on getting me drunk?” Pascal asked slyly.

  Mathias stepped a little closer. “Will I get past first base if I do?”

  “No, you have to buy me dinner for that,” Pascal quipped back.

  Mathias whipped out his phone. “When’s your next night off?”

  Pascal laughed, and Mathias relaxed as he put his phone back. The tension that had invested Pascal every time Mathias had flirted when they’d had lunch didn’t make an appearance this time. He was making progress.

  “Where are we going?” Pascal asked.

  “La Petite Ardoise.” Mathias hoped Pascal would approve of his choice. He’d tried to pick somewhere nice without being expensive. “It has an outdoor terrace so we can sit there and enjoy the beautiful weather. My parents took me there for dinner when I got the job at the bank. It was very good, not too pricey, and a good ambiance.”

  “You don’t have to sell me on your choice,” Pascal said. “I told you to choose a restaurant. Whatever you chose is fine.”

  LA PETITE Ardoise was everything Mathias had said it would be, the dark wood around the windows and holding the flower boxes giving the restaurant a rustic charm. The red-brick walls and patio of the interior courtyard only added to the warm feeling, and the chalkboard with the day’s specials topped it off perfectly. Combine that with the genuine side Mathias had been displaying since he arrived home, the sweet, funny guy Pascal had gotten to know through their texted conversations over the past two weeks, and Pascal was pretty sure it was the recipe for a perfect evening.

  Pascal always enjoyed reading the menus at other restaurants. La Colombe d’Or was known for its upscale, trendy menu, but it meant that often the mainstays of traditional French cuisine weren’t on the menu because they were too “basic” to qualify. La Petite Ardoise included galettes, crêpes, and simple dishes like steak-frites along with their lobster tail special and filet mignon. Pascal was looking forward to the simple meal. “What are you getting?” he asked Mathias.

  “I was thinking about maybe a galette,” Mathias said. “I haven’t had one in a while, and they’re always good.”

  “So maybe a bottle of rosé?” Pascal suggested. “Or would you rather a white wine?”

  “You’re the wine expert,” Mathias insisted. “You tell me which one would go best.”

  Pascal smiled a little at Mathias’s eagerness to please. “It’s not just about what ‘goes well.’ It’s also about what the people drinking it like. No matter how perfect someone else thinks a wine pairing is, if you don’t like the wine to begin with, you aren’t going to enjoy the pairing.”

  “I get that,” Mathias said, “but you’re assuming I know what I like, and I don’t. At least if we get a wine that pairs well with the food, we won’t have to worry about me not liking it because it’s a bad pairing.”

  “You liked the rosé we had with lunch,” Pascal said, “and this one is similar, so let’s go with that one.”

  He placed their drink order when their server returned and then gestured for Mathias to order. He ordered the salade niçoise and turned his attention back to Mathias.

  “I’ve been thinking about canoeing,” he said. “I know you have two more weeks of training before you’re free on a Saturday, but do you want to try to do something the Saturday after that? It’ll only be September. It won’t be too cold to spend a day on the water. Le Parc de la Rivière-des-Mille-Îles is outside of Laval. We could go there for a few hours without it eating too much time out of our Saturday.”

  “That sounds wonderful,” Mathias said. “I haven’t been canoeing since last summer, and I really miss it.”

  Pascal smiled contentedly. He liked the idea of making Mathias happy.

  BY THE time they got back to their apartment building later in the evening, Pascal had given up trying to figure out what had given him a buzz—the wine or the constant expression of delight on Mathias’s face as the evening had gone on. They hadn’t had any missteps like on their first date, neither of them saying anything to trigger bad moments in the other. Even wearing the blue shirt, the only one he still had after Robert died, hadn’t been enough to bring Pascal down from the high of being out with the most attractive man in the restaurant. He might not understand why Mathias wanted to be with him, but he couldn’t argue that Mathias wanted to be with him.

  He walked Mathias back to his apartment. He didn’t want the date to end, but he also didn’t want to pressure Mathias in any way. He’d been too insistent on their first date about taking things slowly to be anything other than a gentleman now.

  Mathias opened the door and turned to smile at Pascal. “I don’t have much in the way of wine, but I can offer you a beer.”

  “You don’t have to offer me anything,” Pascal reminded him.

  “What if I want to offer you something?” Mathias replied as he took a step back, creating space for Pascal to enter the small apartment.

  Pascal took a stuttering breath at all the ways he could read that statement. He couldn’t throw all his good intentions out the window simply because Mathias was looking at him like that. He couldn’t! Mathias slipped his hand into Pascal’s and tugged. Pascal gave up resisting and allowed Mathias to lead him inside.

  Mathias’s apartment was about half the size of Pascal’s, much as Pascal had expected. He’d lived in one of the units on this floor when he’d first moved into the building, so the postage-stamp living room was no surprise. Then Mathias stepped close, pulling Pascal down and into a kiss, and Pascal forgot about the size of the living room and anything else other than returning the kiss. Mathias’s lips were slightly rough, a little chapped, not surprising since he had a habit of biting his bottom lip. Pascal had watched him doing it more than once over the course of dinner. Mathias kissed with the same eager enthusiasm he’d displayed all night, leaning into Pascal and licking at his lips the same way he licked at his own.

  Pascal deepened the kiss, stroking his tongue over the seam of Mathias’s lips until they parted and he could delve inside. He could taste the coffee they’d had after dinner on Mathias’s tongue, the dark scent mingling with the lingering hint of cologne. He slid his hands around Mathias’s waist to pull him closer. Even through Mathias’s shirt—his jacket lay discarded on the floor where Mathias had dropped it when he moved in to start this kiss—Pascal could feel the heat emanating from Mathias’s skin.

  A part of him wanted to strip the cloth away. It had been so long since he had touched and been touched, since he’d been able to find that connection with another person. Robert had made him promise not to mourn forever after he died, but Pascal had never felt completely right letting him go. Now, with Mathias in his arms, pressed against him, warmth radiating through Pascal, some of that old grief eased, and Pascal ached for more.

  He could have more. That much was obvious from Mathias’s body language. If Pascal started undressing him, if he started walking Mathias toward the bedroom, Mathias wouldn’t stop him. He’d probably egg him on the whole time.

  That thought gave Pascal the strength to break the kiss and rest his forehead against Mathias’s. Mathias leaned in and stole another soft kiss, which Pascal returned before drawing back. He stroked the smooth line of Mathias’s jaw with his thumb, feeling the slightest hint of whiskers beneath the soft skin. “I’m not taking you to bed tonight,” he said, his voice tender despite the words.

  “I know,” Mathias said. �
��You could take me to the couch, though.”

  “You could stop trying to seduce me,” Pascal replied with a smile and another swift kiss.

  “Why would I do that?” Mathias asked. “We’ve had a wonderful evening. I’m buzzed. You’re ridiculously attractive, and you’re in my apartment.”

  “We did have a wonderful evening,” Pascal said, “and I’m looking forward to many more wonderful evenings.”

  “Then why shouldn’t I try to seduce you?” Mathias asked, his voice still pitched low and sultry.

  “Because you’re worth more than sex,” Pascal replied seriously. “When we finally go to bed, I want it to mean something. We’re getting there, but if I take you to bed right now, you’ll always wonder if it was just about the sex, if I’m with you because I want to tap your hot ass.”

  Mathias smirked at him as he slid a hand between their bodies and rubbed over Pascal’s crotch. Pascal bucked into the touch even as he told himself to pull away. “You do want to tap it.”

  “I never said I didn’t,” Pascal said, “but that’s not all I want, and it’s not even primarily what I want.”

  “What do you want?” Mathias asked as he drew Pascal toward the couch.

  Pascal waited until they had settled on the thin cushions. “Everything.”

  “How is sex not part of everything?” Mathias asked.

  “I was in my twenties by the time anyone really began to understand what HIV was, how it was transmitted, or how terrible a disease it really was,” Pascal said. “It’s a miracle, honestly, that I’m not infected. I can’t tell you how many people I lost in those years as the reality of the disease and what it meant to the community became more and more obvious. Those experiences changed the way I see things, especially where sex is concerned. Sex is part of everything, but for me, it’s the last part. The icing on the cake, so to speak, not the sum total of the dessert.”

  “I can understand that,” Mathias said. “So how do you see this working?”

  “I don’t know exactly,” Pascal admitted. “I haven’t done this in a long time. Tonight has been amazing. Dinner was fantastic—the restaurant was an inspired choice. Getting to sit and talk to you was even better. And kissing you… well, you know how I feel about that. So I guess the answer is to do more of the same until the right moment.”

  “And what makes the right moment?”

  “We’ll know it when it happens,” Pascal replied. “That’s all I can say.”

  Chapter 9

  “TOMORROW CAN’T come soon enough,” Mathias said as he sat with Louis on Friday two weeks later. “I’m finally done with the credit department training, and I get to see Pascal again.”

  “I thought you were trying to see each other on your respective nights off.”

  “Trying, yes,” Mathias said, “but we managed dinner two weeks ago, and I’ve barely seen him since. He came by the bar one night while I was working, but that’s not the same thing. I can flirt with him a bit when I check on his table, but it’s not the same. He’s not the same. He doesn’t respond to the flirting at the bar the way he does when I flirt with him elsewhere.”

  “Have you asked him about that?” Louis asked.

  “Not something to really ask in a text,” Mathias said, “and we haven’t had a chance to talk except in passing otherwise.”

  “What are you doing tomorrow?” Louis asked.

  “Going canoeing,” Mathias said. “I haven’t been since last summer. Too cold over the winter and no time since I moved here. I’ve missed it.”

  “Was this his idea or yours?” Louis asked.

  “His,” Mathias said. “He mentioned it when we went out to dinner. He found a place near here where we could go and get back in time for me to work my shift tomorrow night. Why?”

  “Because it’s something you obviously want to do, so if he suggested it, that’s a good sign,” Louis said. “He isn’t just looking for a pretty twink to show off.”

  “He’s not,” Mathias said, feeling incredibly defensive on Pascal’s behalf. They’d only kissed a few times. Pascal hadn’t even groped him when he came in after their last date. Of course Mathias hoped maybe the canoeing trip would end with more kisses and hopefully some groping, but Pascal certainly wasn’t the one driving that side of their relationship. Whatever concerns Mathias might have about their relationship, the thought that Pascal was just looking for a boy toy to show off was not one of them.

  MATHIAS WAS glad Pascal had offered to drive them to Laval the next day because he was in no shape to drive or negotiate public transportation. He’d gotten home around three in the morning and with the hour drive to Laval and wanting to have enough time to enjoy their trip before they had to drive back to Montréal, they had decided to meet at eight. Four and a half hours’ sleep was not enough, as far as Mathias was concerned. He managed to brush his teeth and get dressed before Pascal knocked on the door, but not much more.

  “Coffee,” Pascal said, handing Mathias a Tim Hortons cup. “I thought you might need it.”

  Mathias took a sip of the invigorating ambrosia and leaned in for a kiss. Pascal gave him a quick one, only lingering long enough to tease Mathias with a swipe of his tongue across Mathias’s lips. “Bastard,” Mathias muttered.

  “We don’t have to go if you aren’t feeling up to it,” Pascal offered. “You can go back to sleep, and we can get lunch or something this afternoon.”

  “Are you coming to bed with me?” Mathias asked.

  “You wouldn’t get any sleep if I did.”

  Desire flashed hot and fast through Mathias at the provocative words. “Promise?”

  Pascal crowded into his space, so close Mathias could feel the waves of lust crashing through him. The kiss that followed was anything but quick as Pascal invaded Mathias’s mouth, languidly claiming every inch with a self-possession that drove Mathias wild. This was what he loved about older men: the confidence that came with enough experience to know what they were doing and to do it with conviction. He threw himself into the kiss with enthusiasm, sucking on Pascal’s tongue and tangling his own around it. Pascal backed him against the wall and pinned him there as the kiss continued, and Mathias knew he’d give Pascal whatever he wanted. If Pascal gave the slightest indication, Mathias would strip right there or drop to his knees and strip Pascal.

  “You’re going to be the death of me,” Pascal muttered as he broke the kiss and took a step back. “We’re going canoeing, not to bed.”

  “You’re the one who brought it up.” Mathias could hear the tremble in his voice, and the darkening of Pascal’s eyes indicated he’d heard it too. For a moment Mathias thought he’d broken through Pascal’s reserve and would get what he’d wanted since the moment he’d laid eyes on Pascal, but Pascal just kissed him again swiftly and left it at that.

  “If we’re going canoeing, we should go. If you need to sleep, I’ll leave so you can.”

  “I won’t fall back asleep,” Mathias said. “Once I’m awake, that’s pretty much it. I’ll sleep in tomorrow.”

  “You’ll be exhausted tonight.”

  “I’ll be exhausted tonight anyway,” Mathias insisted. “I want to spend the day with you.”

  To his relief, Pascal didn’t argue anymore.

  DESPITE HIS insistence he wouldn’t fall back asleep, Mathias dozed in the car on the way to Laval, but once they were out of the car and moving around in the crisp September air, he felt his energy returning. The coffee in his cup had long since grown cold, so he tossed it and accepted another cup from the gear shack at the canoe rental place. Pascal took a cup as well while they waited for the guides to prepare their equipment.

  “How long has it been since you last went canoeing?” Mathias asked.

  “A few years,” Pascal replied, “but it’s not something you forget once you’ve learned how to do it.”

  “I wasn’t worried about that,” Mathias said quickly. “I was just curious. There’s still so much I don’t know about you.”

&n
bsp; “Sorry,” Pascal said. “There are things I don’t like to remember, much less talk about.”

  “So talk about things you do like to remember,” Mathias prompted. “Surely not all the memories are bad ones.”

  “No, they’re not,” Pascal replied. “But even the good ones are so tied up in the bad ones that it’s hard to separate them sometimes.”

  Mathias tried to imagine what might have happened to leave Pascal with those kinds of memories. He didn’t come up with anything good. “Do you want me not to ask? I don’t want to make you think about bad stuff.”

  “No,” Pascal said. “I may not answer you, but that shouldn’t stop you from asking. I have dark places in my past, times I don’t want to go back to, but that’s my problem, not yours.”

  “My mother always says a trouble shared is a trouble halved. I know I’m young and don’t have a lot of experience, but… well, if you ever want to talk about it, I’ll listen.”

  “Thank you,” Pascal said. “The offer means a lot, even if I never take you up on it.”

  Mathias hoped Pascal would take him up on it eventually. If he didn’t, Mathias would worry constantly about bumping those dark places unintentionally and causing problems between them. He let it go for now, though, because this wasn’t the time or the place to push. “Do you want bow or stern?”

  Pascal grinned, the expression on his face turning intent again as he raked his gaze over Mathias. “There are advantages to both, but I usually go for stern.”

  Mathias swallowed hard, trying to wet his suddenly dry mouth. Pascal’s words were simple enough, but the way he looked at Mathias added significance to them. He felt his ass clench in anticipation.

  The day had suddenly become a lot more interesting.