“I’m sorry, Finn.” Paul squeezed his shoulder and Finn shook his head to clear it.
“Yeah, me too,” he said. “I need to do something nice for Luke to say thanks.”
“I’m sure he’s not expecting you to, but that’s a good idea,” Paul said. “What did you do with the extra ticket?”
“Well, I asked around at work, then started calling friends.” Finn shrugged. “Chad was the first person I spoke to who didn’t already have plans.”
He watched, mystified, as Paul tipped back his head and laughed. “What?”
“Chad hates sports,” Paul replied. “Including baseball. The only reason he’d sit through a game is to spend time with you, darlin’.”
Finn shrugged. “That’s nice, but he knows I’m seeing someone. I told Chad all about Luke the last time I saw him.”
“Like that’d make a difference,” Mick muttered, and the scorn in his voice made Finn smile. Mick and Luke had become friends, and Finn knew they messaged regularly.
Finn elbowed Mick. “If it makes you feel better, you and Paul can take the two middle seats, and Chad and I will sit on either side.”
“Again, like that’d make a difference,” Mick repeated, though this time he laughed. “I hope you know what you’re getting yourself into, boyo.”
Finn’s reply died on his tongue as an arm curled around his waist and the smell of Chad’s expensive cologne filled his nose.
“Greetings, handsome friends!”
Chad grinned brightly at them. His tight-fitting golf shirt and popped collar made him look overdressed, and he wore a Red Sox cap too pristine to be anything but new. Still, the unguarded good humor in his face lightened Finn’s mood. Chad had eased off trying to get Finn in the sack and become much less of a pain in the ass to be around.
“Hey, Chad. Glad you could make it,” Finn said.
“I try to get to at least one game a year.” Chad aimed a haughty glare at Paul, who snorted.
“Relax, buttercup. Finn knows you’re lying through your teeth.”
Chad narrowed his eyes. “Only because you’d have told him so, but that’s fine. Unlike you, I don’t live and die with the Red Sox. I do enjoy coming out to the odd game, however. They make for excellent people watching, especially after the game’s done and everyone is beerified and raring to go out.”
Mick’s lips twitched into a smile. “Can’t argue with that. Speaking of the game, it’s time to find our seats.”
Two hours later and with a belly full of processed meats and beer, Finn found he appreciated the Fenway vibe. Their seats were fantastic, located almost directly behind home plate, and the fans were energized by the home team’s strong performance against the Rays. The September weather stayed warm after sunset, which lent to the crowd’s party-like mood and made for a gorgeous night to be at a ball game.
Even so, Finn fingered his phone in his pocket and fought a mixture of irritation and disappointment at Luke’s absence. Over the summer, his connection with Luke had changed and blossomed into more than great sex and easy banter. Finn liked that change, even though it made his heart ache in lovely, scary ways.
He liked watching Luke with their friends and with Ella, his hands in the air and his eyebrows moving wildly as he told a story. The way Luke focused totally on his work and his fingers flew over his keyboard while his eyes narrowed with concentration. That Luke always sensed when Finn’s shift had been tough, and that he’d pull Finn down onto the couch and rub his shoulders, pushing heat into Finn’s sore muscles with his big hands. Luke was the first person Finn thought to share news with or turn to if he needed an encouraging word. And Finn really, really liked waking up beside Luke, their arms and legs entwined, Luke’s quiet breaths gusting across Finn’s skin as he slumbered.
Finn quelled a sigh. He stood to let Chad and Mick pass by, and pulled his phone out to read Luke’s last three messages.
I’ll miss you, too.
I’ll make it up to you guys, I promise.
Tell your boys I’ll buy first round the next time we all go out.
“Whenever the hell that is,” Finn muttered to himself. He immediately felt like a jerk. Luke couldn’t help being needed elsewhere. Finn’s grumbling didn’t make the Luke-shaped absence beside him any less noticeable, either.
Thank you again for the tickets, he wrote back. We owe *you* the next several rounds for these amazing seats.
No worries—glad you finally got over there. Tell Paul that foam finger has seen better days.
Finn stared at the phone for several seconds before a grin spread across his face.
You can see us?
Turned the game on 10 mins ago and, yep, there you are in the middle of my screen. Hi, Finn.
A waving hand emoji popped into the next message bubble and Finn chuckled. He stole a glance in the direction of home plate, his cheeks warm at the idea of Luke watching him. A sudden thought had him tapping at his phone again.
You just got home?
Unfortunately, yes. Long, boring story—I’d much rather ogle you instead.
Finn aimed another quick glance at home plate. How long have you been doing that?
For the 10 mins the TV has been on, der.
I see…so what are you wearing? Finn laughed outright at the pink bikini emoji Luke sent next.
“What’s got you so smiley all of a sudden?” Paul called from two seats over. “As if I couldn’t guess.”
Finn grabbed his beer and scooted over to sit beside Paul. “Luke’s watching from home and says he can see us,” he explained. He laughed when Paul blew a kiss in the direction of home plate. “He also says you should shove that stupid foam finger up your ass.”
Paul immediately poked Finn in the nose with it. “Bullshit. Luke would never advocate for the desecration of Red Sox paraphernalia.”
“What’s this about Luke?” Mick asked as he and Chad made their way along the row toward them, both carrying cups of beer in each hand.
“He’s watching from home and can see us on TV,” Finn replied. They all burst out laughing when Mick stopped and turned to shake his ass in the direction of home plate and, by extension, Luke.
Finn stood to swap places with Mick, but Chad sat down in the seat that had been Finn’s.
“Hey, that’s my spot,” Finn joked, but Chad merely shrugged.
“Not anymore.”
Mick grunted and slid past Finn. He handed Paul a beer and stepped over his legs to get to Chad’s vacated seat, which left Finn in the remaining spot between Chad and Paul.
“Luke’s the guy you told me about, right?” Chad handed Finn a beer. “The architect?”
“Software programmer and designer.”
“Ooh, la la. He gave you these tickets, right? So why the hell am I here instead of him?”
“He couldn’t get a babysitter.” Finn winced at the obvious horror on Chad’s face.
“Honey, why on earth are you dating a breeder?”
“Luke is the kid’s uncle, not her father,” Finn replied. “He helps out when Pete’s not around to take care of Ella.”
Chad blinked. “Who the hell are Pete and Ella?”
“Hah, sorry. Pete is Luke’s brother. He’s in the Marine Corps and a single dad to Ella, who is the kid, obviously.”
“The kid Luke is home with right now instead of here watching the game?”
Finn nodded. “Correct.”
“His loss,” Chad replied. “You’re okay with spending time with her, too?”
“Sure, it’s fine. I usually see Ella once a week, and she’s old enough to entertain herself,” Finn said. “Gives me more time with Luke, if you know what I mean.”
“Ah, yes, I see—together being in bed, of course. That’s fun that you have a code word for sex.”
“That’s not at all what I meant,” Finn replied with a laugh.
“Oh, whatever. I get it—you have a man in your life and that’s why you’re never around. Too busy playing boyfriends to hang out w
ith me, hmm?”
“Um. We don’t really throw labels around.” Finn wanted to curse the heat that crawled up his neck. “And what do you mean, I’m never around?”
“I haven’t seen you in weeks, Finn,” Chad said. “Ever since you introduced the Marrieds over there to your boy, none of you have time for a single guy like me.”
“My schedule is unpredictable, Chad, you know that. Just like Paul’s.” Finn frowned at him. “We don’t have nine-to-five gigs with every weekend off, and if you don’t see us, it’s probably because we’re holed up in the hospital or sleeping.”
Chad flapped a hand at him. “You and I both know there’s more to it than that. We saw each other at least twice a month when you first moved here.”
“That’s because Mick and I used to force Finn to come out with us,” Paul said, and Finn and Chad turned to look at him. “He’d have never left the house otherwise.”
Chad cocked his head. “You don’t do that now?”
“Well, he’s not at our place anymore, so it’s not like we’d know what he gets up to. Plus, he’s got Luke to get him out of the house.” Paul focused on Finn. “Now that I’m thinking about it, though, Mick and I haven’t seen much of you and Luke lately either. What’s that about?”
“Luke’s busy with Ella back in school.” Finn licked his lips. “We’re trying to find time to hang out like adults, but we’ve been coming up empty.”
“And why is that?” Mick asked.
“Lots of stuff going on with her projects and sports and that kind of thing.”
Paul nodded. “So, what, you guys are doing kid stuff with Ella?”
“No.” Finn sniffed. “Luke’s free time has kind of evaporated since the end of the summer. I go over to his place on Saturday and we hang out. Otherwise, we see each other around my shifts during the week.”
“So you’re basically waiting around for Luke to have time for you?” Chad appeared confused. “That’s weird, isn’t it?”
“That’s not—no, that’s not what’s going on.” Finn wanted to squirm in his seat. Chad’s words held a grain of truth, but they also seemed very wrong. “Luke and I make time to see each other during the day because of my schedule, too. Luke works business hours, but depending on my shifts, I’m asleep while he’s at work and vice-versa. We try to go out when our schedules line up, but sometimes that’s in the middle of the day.”
“We saw you guys a lot over the summer,” Mick said.
“Right, and that’s because school was out,” Finn said. “Ella had her own things going with friends and her grandparents, so Luke had more free time to himself. But everything changed when Ella went back, I guess? I have no idea.” Finn shrugged at his friends’ laughter. “Anyway, her schedule changed, which means Luke’s did, too. I figure we’ll work out something new eventually.”
“And you’re okay with that?” Chad made a face. “Living around other people’s lives sounds exhausting and kind of shitty, to be honest. I mean, the guy bought you baseball tickets but couldn’t make it because something more important came up.”
The crack of bat hitting ball split the air around them, and Finn and his friends jumped to their feet with the rest of the crowd to cheer the Red Sox’s fifth run of the night. Finn’s phone buzzed in his hand and he glanced down to find the screen filled with fireworks and clapping hands. He smiled and fired off a similar reply but caught Chad watching him and his knowing expression curdled Finn’s enjoyment.
* * * *
“I should get going,” Finn said. He’d drunk more tonight than he would typically and knew it was time to shut himself off. No need to get sloppy.
“Why?” Chad asked. “Neither of us is working tomorrow, so I say we buy another drink.”
“It’s almost closing time,” Finn replied. “In a half-hour, we won’t be able to.”
“Then let’s get an order in before last call.”
After the game, Finn and his friends had walked to Wilde’s, Mick’s favorite bar in the South End, and spent time ogling the hot bartenders over burgers and a round of unbelievably delicious boozy milkshakes. Having sensed danger in their potency, Finn had switched to beer after he’d eaten, but then Paul and Mick had gone home and that had left no one to argue the side of moderation. However, to Chad’s point, Finn had the next day off and no special plans—who cared if he had another drink and slept in?
Order placed, Chad turned to Finn. “Tell me more about what you’ve got going with this Luke. No offense, but I still can’t wrap my head around you doing a stepdad thing with his kid.”
Finn held up a hand. “Whoa. That’s definitely not happening. Ella tolerates me pretty well, but in no way is she looking for me to act dad-like.”
“What do you mean by ‘tolerates me pretty well?’” Chad asked. “She doesn’t like you?”
Oops. So much for not getting sloppy.
“She doesn’t love me, no,” he replied, “and given a choice, I doubt she’d choose to spend time around me. But mostly, she’s cool, and we can all hang out together in peace.”
“That’s cute, but why the fuck even bother?” Chad smiled as Finn broke up laughing. “I’m serious, man! I wouldn’t willingly subject myself to any child, let alone one who hated me.”
“I don’t think Ella hates me.” Finn sipped his beer. Ella’s vibe wasn’t so much ‘I hate you’ as ‘why are you here?’ and it was obvious she held back around him. “And I’m pretty sure you would bother if the kid in question belonged to a guy you liked and wanted to spend time with.” He waited for Chad’s reluctant nod.
“Maybe. Frankly, I’m not sure I’d get started with a guy who had a kid. That’s not what I want in my life.”
“Fair enough. I didn’t want that either,” Finn admitted, “or at least not yet. But I got to know Luke, and his guardianship didn’t seem like a big deal. To me, I mean. Taking care of Ella is a big deal for Luke, but he’s still him outside of all that.”
“And you like him.”
“I do,” Finn replied. “He’s great and we have a fantastic time together.”
“Even with the asshole kid?”
Finn nearly choked on his beer. “Dude. C’mon, she’s ten years old.”
“So? Kids can be assholes too.”
“I know, but I’m the one who spends time around her. I’d rather not hear your voice in my head saying ‘there’s that asshole kid’ whenever I see her.”
Chad tipped his head back and cackled. “Point taken. When are you seeing him again?”
“Saturday for brunch. Kid included.”
“And look at how happy you are about it.” Chad poked at the corner of Finn’s mouth with one finger. “Why don’t you guys try spending more time together during the week, whether the kid’s there or not? That’d make you less pouty, right?”
“I’ve been thinking along those lines, too.” Finn sipped and swallowed beer. “Not sure how Ella will like it. Obviously, I’d prefer alone time with Luke, but I’ll take what I can get.”
Chad grimaced. “So romantic. Why don’t you invite them over for dinner tomorrow?”
“Can’t. Luke’s got a standing dinner date with Ella and a couple of friends every Friday night.” Finn stayed silent at the understanding that crossed Chad’s face.
“A standing date to which you are not invited?” Chad let out a low whistle. “Damn. Then my original question stands. You like this guy enough to put up with the kid hatin’ on you?”
“Yeah, I do.” The bartender stepped up with their fresh beers and Finn paused to settle the tab. He met Chad’s gaze head-on once the bartender moved away. “Like I said, I didn’t plan to get involved with a man who has a child in his life, but that’s how it worked out. Spending time with Luke is worth a little hate.”
Chad set his empty glass down. “Okay. So Luke’s schedule’s been pretty shitty lately, huh?”
“Yeah. I know he’s got a lot going on, but it kind of sucks.”
“I get you.” Chad’s
lip curled. “I don’t know, Finn. Are you really good with always being second priority? Because to someone outside of the situation, that’s how it sounds. Almost like you’re the other man even though you’re the only man, right?”
Finn grimaced. “Yeah, that’s sort of how I feel. I know it’s ridiculous because everything Luke’s doing is for the good of his family, but I can’t help feeling shitty.”
Chad studied his glass of beer for a moment before he spoke again. “So Luke doesn’t know? That you feel this way, I mean.”
“No.” Finn ran his fingers over his lips. “You’re the first person I’ve talked to about it.” Despite his and Luke’s promise not to hold back on the awkward with each other.
A sly smile lit Chad’s face. “Oh? I can’t help feeling flattered.”
“You would,” Finn replied with a snort.
“But are you going to tell him? Seems like Luke should know he’s making you feel bad.” Chad rolled his eyes. “Wait, what the fuck am I doing giving you relationship advice? The last thing I should do is help you get along with that jackass!”
Finn couldn’t help laughing despite the ache in his chest. It was a relief to voice his insecurities about Luke, even if doing so didn’t solve anything.
“I don’t know, Chad. I’m not sure I can tell him. Luke’s had trouble in the past balancing the different sides of his life—guys get impatient that he has other priorities.”
“Well, gee, I wonder why that is?”
“I know, I know. But I don’t want to be another one of those guys who disappears on him if things get complicated.” Finn shook his head. “I don’t want to disappear on him at all.”
“So don’t. Doesn’t mean you should suffer in silence either. Not when you’ve got someone like me around to entertain you when Luke can’t get his head out of his ass.” Chad waggled his eyebrows at Finn like a cartoon villain.
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