Night Talk
Page 21
They'd had so little time together after that. Almost within moments of his arrival at the tower, the sky had opened up with light and sound as the Fire and Rescue helicopter arrived with Ted and a swarm of FBI agents and crime scene specialists. Between their investigation and their questioning of Nancy, they were able to piece together a picture.
It had been the arrest and subsequent confession of Ted's suspect, a salesman who traveled the country selling advertising for the radio network that broadcast 'Lost Loves' who had implicated Nancy and alerted Ted she was at Eagle's Eye. Nancy had easily manipulated the man into doing her bidding. While he was the one who had made the phone calls and attacked Tori, it had been Nancy behind all of it. Angry when she could find no interest for a Sly Fox talk show she'd been pitching, she'd set out to get Kristin and 'Lost Loves' off the air, any way she could.
Kristin had been so strong, holding herself together through it all. Yet all he'd wanted to do was pull her into his arms and comfort her, to assure her everything was going to be okay, to assure himself she was safe. But it was as though everything conspired to keep them apart. Between the FBI agents, the questions and the crime scene, they'd had no time to be together, then, suddenly, it was time to leave.
Ted had expected Kristin would want to ride with him down the mountain in the helicopter. Of course, he had no way of knowing how difficult this was going to be, that they had become…involved. He'd thought he'd been doing her a favor, thinking she was anxious to get home after so many weeks away. But the thought of standing there and watching her just disappear into the night sky had been too much. Besides, he had to complete the assignment he'd been charged with and deliver her back to her life safe and sound.
He'd managed to make some excuse to Ted, saying something about Kristin being uncomfortable riding in a helicopter with Nancy, and gratefully Ted hadn't pushed. But their long drive down the mountain hadn't been an easy one. Neither of them had felt like talking and he'd been hoping every mile of the way she would change her mind and tell him to turn the truck around and take her back with him. Only…she never did, so despite the many miles and late hour, it seemed they arrived at her house all too soon.
Jake walked back across the deck and picked up his wineglass, draining it in one gulp. He could still see her, standing on the small front porch. It was so uncomfortable, they were so awkward with one another, it was almost embarrassing. Of course, they had smiled and laughed and promised to keep in touch, but this was the end and they both knew it. He'd given her every opportunity to stay, but she'd made her choice and he couldn't blame her for that. It was just that standing there alone in the darkness with her, it was all he could do to stop himself from pulling her into his arms and begging her to change her mind.
When she'd reached up and given him a kiss on the cheek, he'd nearly lost it, and where he'd found the strength to lean down and kiss her, he'd never know.
He sank onto the chair again, his head resting against the back. He could still taste the salt from that one lone tear that had fallen from her lash and down her cheek. He had thought leaving her that night had been the hardest thing he'd ever done—at least he had until the next night. It had been more difficult, as had each subsequent night. Living without her was hard and it just wasn't getting any better.
"We're back and we've got Becky on the line. Becky, what do you think? What advice do you have for a sad cowboy whose lady has left?"
"I think he should wake up and smell the coffee. Female intuition? Give me a break. If he wanted the woman to stay, he should have just asked her."
"Short and to the point, thanks, Becky. Let's hear what Kathy from Kentucky has to say—Kathy, you're on the air, what have you got to say to Cal?"
"Well, you can just tell Cal I don't buy all that about men not being able to talk about their feelings. My husband has been using that excuse for years. I say if you love the woman, tell her."
"Okay, thanks, that's two for talking Cal. What do you have to say about that?"
"I—I don't know what to say."
"Well, Cal, tell me something, will you?"
"Sure."
"You said you loved this woman, did you mean that?"
"With all my heart."
"Then don't you think you should tell her?"
"I told you, she knows, she—"
"No, Cal, she doesn't. Oh, she may think you do, may hope you do, but she doesn't know it and she won't until you tell her. Let me ask you something else, cowboy. You said you would do anything for the woman. Why won't you do this? Don't you think she has a right to know? Don't you think you should tell her how you feel?"
"I…I suppose. But, Jane, is love enough?"
"Yeah Jane," Jake murmured, rubbing a tired hand across his eyes. "Is love enough for you?"
"I happen to think it is, but I guess you'll never know unless you try, will you?"
Jake opened his eyes and sat up.
"Think about it. Happiness could be just a phone call away. Don't you think it's worth the risk? What about my fellow travelers out there on the rocky road to love, what do you think? This is 'Lost Loves' and I'm your host, Jane Streeter. Let me hear from you. 1–800–NIGHT TALK."
He suddenly felt as though he'd taken a punch to the stomach—dizzy, unsteady and unable to breathe.
"The tear," he mumbled aloud, his wineglass slipping from his hand and landing in pieces on the deck. But he wasn't thinking about the broken glass. His mind was reeling. Scattered, fragmented pieces were suddenly falling into place, making sense out of chaos, reason out of rhyme.
Why hadn't he seen it before? Why had he overlooked something that was so obvious? He knew better than anyone what a tight hold Kristin kept on her emotions, how adept she'd become at hiding her feelings behind a facade of indifference. Except that night on her porch, that night he had delivered her home and walked away. Something had penetrated that iron hold of hers, something had broken through the facade.
"That tear," he murmured again.
That one lone tear; she hadn't been able to stop it. It would have taken some pretty powerful emotions to have caused it to slip by that iron hold of hers.
But were they powerful enough? He was in love with her. Was it possible she had feelings for him? Could it be that she had fallen in love too?
Suddenly everything seemed so clear. He'd wanted her to stay, but just like the guy on the radio, he hadn't asked her to, either. He'd assumed she would have stayed if she'd wanted, just as he'd assumed she knew how he felt. He'd never thought about asking her to stay because he'd assumed his love hadn't been enough to offer. Now he was wondering if he'd assumed too much.
He bolted inside, reaching for the ham-radio mike. "Cedar Canyon, this is Eagle's Eye, anyone awake down there?"
"Just call me a night owl."
"Claybe! Thank God." Jake ran a shaky hand through his shaggy hair. "Buddy, I need a favor."
* * *
Kristin adjusted her headset and waited for Dale's cue. The show was nearly over and yet she felt as though she could go on all night. Not because she wasn't exhausted but more because she didn't relish the thought of going home to an empty house again. She wondered if it was always going to be this way, wondered if she was always going to miss him.
She was still reeling about Nancy and only beginning to realize just how truly disturbed the woman was. It was clear Nancy's problems had begun long before Kristin and the stalking. Deep-seated issues going back to her childhood were at the core of it, unresolved issues that had been left to fester and grow dangerous. In her troubled mind, Nancy had fixated on Kristin, wanting to take over Kristin's life in an effort to escape her own. But Kristin consoled herself with the fact that Nancy was where she could get help now. Tori was on the road to recovery and life could get back to normal again—or something close to it.
Only, Kristin was no longer sure she knew what normal was. She was back in her home, back with her sister, her friends, her practice, her job—and yet her life felt
anything but normal. Was it normal to cry yourself to sleep every night? Was it normal for your heart to ache when the sun rose and to break when it set? Was it normal to miss someone so much you thought nothing was ever going to feel normal again?
"Back in three seconds," Dale's voice prompted through the earpiece.
She nodded. "And we're back, and we've almost made it through another long, lonely night, my friends. We've got one last caller on the line with a sad story to tell. It's—" The words scrolling across her prompt screen had her heart lurching in her chest and her brain skittering to a stop. She looked up and turned to Dale in the control booth. He merely glanced back and calmly pointed to the On Air sign glaring in large red letters. "Uh…oh, it's Mountain Man. So…talk to me, Mountain Man, you have a story to tell?"
"A sad one, I'm afraid, and I need your advice, Jane."
The voice in her headset sent Kristin's world tilting sharply and the air in her lungs escaping in one harsh gasp. "M-my advice?"
"You see, Jane, there's this woman. We met in a very turbulent time in her life and things happened pretty quickly between us. But then circumstances changed and she had to leave. Like Cowboy Cal earlier, I would have liked for her to have stayed, but we live in two different worlds. Her life is somewhere else—her family, her career."
"You…wanted her to stay?" Kristin's heart hammered in her chest. "Why?"
"Jane, I'm in love with her."
"You never told her."
"I know. Is it too late?"
Tears began to burn her eyes. Could this really be happening? Could dreams really come true? "I don't think it's ever too late for love."
"But is it enough, Jane? Her job, my job and all the miles in between, how do we work that out?"
"Oh, Mountain Man," Kristin's voice cracked and her hands trembled. "Don't you know? Love will find a way."
Catching sight of movement beside her, she turned quickly. Jake stood in the door of the broadcast booth, his cell phone to his ear.
"I love you," he whispered.
"Oh, Jake, I love you too," she sobbed, yanking off her headset and rushing into his arms.
She never heard the static through the speakers when her headset hit the mike, never heard Dale's voice over the airway closing out the program. All she knew was Jake was there, holding her, and she felt right for the first time in five long days.
"Are you sure?" he growled, holding her so tightly she could barely breathe. "Because when I get you back on the mountain, I'm not letting you go again—not without me."
"I'm sure," she cried, tasting her own tears on his lips. "Yes, yes, I'm sure."
Everything happened in a blur after that. There were tears and laughter and gasps and sighs and then that very long drive. But then, at last, there was the mountain, the tower and the bed.
"I was afraid," he said, pulling her close as they watched the sun start to peek over the top of the mountain. They had begun making love from the moment they'd reached Eagle's Eye and greeted the dawn spent and exhausted.
"Afraid." Kristin pulled back just far enough to look up at him. "You? The man who shares his front yard with bears and any number of other wild beasts, what could you possibly have been afraid of?"
He glanced down at her. She was joking, he knew, but how could he make her understand? She had done so much for him, had done what all the department shrinks and three years alone on the mountain hadn't been able to. She'd helped him get rid of all the demons, all the ghosts from the past once and for all. There were things he would always feel badly about, like Ricky and his failure with Valerie. But Kristin had helped him realize that life didn't come with any guarantees. It was trial and error for everyone and basically we were all just feeling our way along. What defined a man wasn't his successes or failures, it was his ability to persevere, to pick up the pieces and go on and give it the best that he could. And for the first time in his life, he was ready to do that.
"The thought that I was wrong, that maybe you really didn't care after all. That maybe I'd be standing there in that broadcast booth only to have you send me home alone."
"And yet you came anyway."
"I did. I had to." He smiled and pulled her close again. "Because the thought of living without you terrified me even more."
Kristin's heart swelled in her chest, and she almost thought it would burst. "Even more than bears?"
He laughed, bending down and giving her a kiss. "Hey, you can always shoot a bear."
"As long as you have a license," she pointed out.
"That's true. Unfortunately, there's nothing on the books about open season on dangerous females." He slipped her beneath him. "So I guess I'll just have to improvise. There's another kind of license that just might work."
"Oh really." She smiled when she felt him grow hard against her. "What did you have in mind, Mountain Man?"
"I'm thinking a marriage license just might take care of the problem. What do you think?" he murmured, sliding into her in one, smooth stroke. "Marry me? Love me forever?"
Kristin felt her breath growing short as the real world began to slip away. Jane Streeter knew all about heartbreaks and heartaches, but Kristin had some advice for her. In the end, love really was all that mattered. It made the future bright and the past irrelevant and wiped the slate clean. The road to happiness was a rocky one, but despite the obstacles, love could always find a way.
"Forever," she whispered.
ISBN: 978-1-4268-8093-3
NIGHT TALK
Copyright © 2003 by Ann Marie Fattarsi
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*It Takes Two
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Table of Contents
REBECCA DANIELS
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14