by Karen Webb
Selena went the following evening to the restaurant where Estelle had told her she was meeting Michael. It was walking distance from her hotel and she strolled along the busy sidewalk, wishing she were somewhere else, or at least that Matt was here with her. She felt as if she had to force her legs to keep moving forward; she kept reminding herself of all that money. Although from the movie alone, she knew her college tuition was set, that is, if she could ever get away from Hollywood and go to college. She walked through Hollywood as a local now, ignoring the tourists, the sight of strange people in weird outfits, and even ignoring the paparazzi, when a man stepped out of a doorway and snapped her picture. She was an old hand at the madness of Hollywood now; Matt had been right…you just get used to it.
Michael greeted her warmly when the hostess left her at his table. He stood up and politely took her hand as he introduced himself. He was younger than she had expected and she was surprised at his handsome good looks. He was thinner than Matt, almost slim, but he had a beautiful face and tan skin with a shock of shiny, dark, unruly hair. She guessed he was Italian from his dark, handsome appearance. He leaned toward her as he talked and Selena was unsettled by his nearness. He told her he was interested in her becoming a model for his agency. “We do runway shows and catalog layouts,” he told her. “Estelle sent over still shots and I have to say, the camera really loves you.”
“Yeah, I wish I could say the love was mutual,” Selena said nervously.
“Maybe that’s your magic,” Michael whispered as he leaned even closer. “You have a faraway look in your shots, as if your mind is on a long lost love or something. It adds a bit of mystery to your face. Beautiful,” he finished with a flourish. “I would love to photograph you,” he whispered, his hand on the back of her chair as he leaned ever closer. Selena felt nervous with his nearness and she was wondering how to scoot her chair away from him without offending him when a flashbulb popped in their eyes. She jumped as it startled her and she quickly pulled away from Michael’s smooth, mesmerizing voice.
He laughed softly. “Don’t worry, young Selena. As your star rises, you will have more cameras in your face than you can stand.”
“I already do,” she answered, a grimace replacing her nervous smile.
They discussed the modeling more over dinner and Selena was grateful when Michael attacked his food, giving her some breathing room. She didn’t give him any definitive answer, only telling him she would think about it. She declined his offer to walk her back to her hotel. She didn’t need any more paparazzi making her look bad. She walked back alone, her head down, staring at the sidewalk in front of her as she thought about the modeling job. Of course, she had no interest in it and it wasn’t just a one-time thing. She would be at their beck and call, flying back and forth from New Mexico whenever they needed her. She really didn’t want to do it, but it would be a steady job with a huge paycheck. How many other eighteen year olds just out of high school made this kind of money? I’ll do it. Just for a while. Just for the money. But everything in her body screamed that it would be a mistake. She still wasn’t sure by the time she reached her hotel and she decided to get Matt’s opinion first.
They wrapped up filming a few days later and Paul James had a party at his house to celebrate.
Selena didn’t have any real interest in it, but she felt obligated to go. She was his leading lady, after all. She was shocked when she arrived and saw so many actors and actresses, hanging out and drinking. She hadn’t expected this many people to show up. She saw many faces she recognized from TV and from movies and even a few of the too-slim models she recognized from magazines. She walked past a group of girls, a glass of champagne in her hand, when she heard them giggle and glance her way. She looked back and there was the blond, Megan, with a circle of friends. “You know it takes more in this business than just sleeping your way into a part,” she said loudly as Selena passed. “I guess some people will do just about anything to get a lead role,” another chimed in and they all giggled. Be-otches, she thought to herself as her face flushed with anger. She wandered out onto the balcony, instead of slapping Megan in the face, which was what she really wanted to do. It was just unbelievable that everyone thought she was sleeping around, especially for parts in movies. Parts that she didn’t even want. For movies she didn’t even want to be in. She felt a tear trickle down her face as she slammed her hand into the balcony railing. Why didn’t they see that she had no interest in their stupid movie, their designer clothes or sitting in front of a camera all day. She made up her mind, then and there, to go home and have nothing more to do with this place. She would rather be poor and work her way through college, than stay in Hollywood and have everyone see her as a harlot. I’ll go and pack, she thought angrily. I can be on the first flight out of here in the morning.
She turned to leave and there was Paul, blocking her way. “Hey Selena,” he said. “Congrats on finishing the movie. I think it’s going to be great, don’t you?”
“I guess,” she answered quietly. She kept her distance from Paul, watching him guardedly. He’d already got her in enough trouble.
“You’re going to come back for the opening, right? It’s an important event.”
“I hadn’t really thought about it,” she answered evasively. If she could get out of here now, she doubted she would ever be back, unless it was to visit Matt.
“Can I just have a hug, one last hug before you go back to the desert?” Paul sensed her mood, and the thought of never seeing her again caused a dull ache in his chest.
She stared at him for a full minute, trying to judge his intentions. But all she saw on his face was the easygoing friendship they’d shared throughout filming. She walked toward him hesitantly and Paul wrapped his arms around her. She stayed wrapped in his arms for a minute, enjoying the kindness after the girls had been so nasty to her. She figured this was the last time she would see him since she was never coming back. She still felt the animal magnetism and attraction between them as he held her. It was like a live wire. An energy whenever they were near each other that was almost palpable. It was what had worked so well for them as lovers in the film.
“Look, she’s at it again.” Selena heard the shrill voice in the doorway and knew exactly who it was. The words were followed by giggles from the group of girls.
She broke away from Paul and headed for the front door, setting her full glass of champagne on a table as she went. She could hear the laughter behind her and she slammed the front door, blocking the hateful sound. She wished she could block it from her mind as easily. At least it wasn’t paparazzi this time. She smiled ruefully as her driver weaved the limo through traffic. She couldn’t wait to put this city behind her and never return.
Selena flew home the following day, writing on the plane as usual. She almost cried in her father’s arms when he picked her up at the airport. She never thought she would be so happy to see her wide open desert, her family’s small trailer and her faithful friend, Rusty. She threw her arms around Rusty’s neck as she fed him an apple. “I won’t leave you again, Rusty,” she told him. “No more Hollywood for me.” No paparazzi, no nasty girls laughing at her, no smiling for a camera. Her simple, small town life had never seemed as sweet to her as it did now.
Rusty rubbed his head on her as if in agreement, leaving a trail of apple juice across her jeans.
“Nothing bothers you, huh Rusty?” she said as she scratched his withers. “You could be in a hundred movies and they can say anything they want about you, as long as they give you an apple.” Rusty tossed his head, as if in agreement, as he munched his apple happily.
Selena finally sent her new manuscript off to a literary agent the following day, the one she had finished in L.A. Matt had still been bugging her to send it off, but she just hadn’t had the time. Now that she was done with Hollywood, she thought she could really concentrate on her writing. She decided to try only one agent at a time, instead of having an inbox full of rejection letters. The pain and
unhappiness of Hollywood was still too raw to be able to handle another pile of polite rejection letters.
Matt called her each evening when he returned to his hotel room. He was almost finished with his interviews in New York and planning to stop in Albuquerque on his way back to L.A. She sat in front of the TV with her parents every evening, watching Matt give interviews on several different talk shows. He always seemed so smooth and charming in front of the cameras; she wondered how he did it. She was sure she would be a nervous wreck if it were her.
She watched her email day after day with no results. She knew some of the literary agents didn’t even bother responding at all if they didn’t like the work. She was beginning to assume that must be the case. Maybe she should send her story off to another agent? How was it possible that this business was so hard, while acting and modeling gigs were being thrown at her? She knew it could take years before she could ever get one of her books in print. She sighed as she contemplated it. She should be happy, she was one of the stars of a movie that would be coming out soon; Michael Sabatino’s office had contacted her twice, urging her to accept a modeling contract, and she would see Matt soon, as he passed through on his way back to L.A. Then why did she feel so troubled? Why did she have to be torn between what she wanted to do and what was being offered. She suddenly wished she could start this summer over. If she could go back and never be an extra in the movie with Beth, then she wouldn’t be in this position now. But you also wouldn’t have met Matt, she reminded herself. She finally decided to stop thinking about it altogether, at least until she could discuss it with Matt. But, she felt sure of what he would say. Take the modeling job and write your books, she could just hear him now. You’ll get used to it. She knew he would tell her that too, but what if she didn’t want to get used to it? But it’s a huge amount of money, Beth’s voice ran through her thoughts too. And you’ll be a movie star. And maybe even a supermodel. Who cares, she heard herself respond. She shook her head, determined to shake the thoughts from her mind.
Chapter 20
Selena’s cellphone rang the following day as she was driving to Albuquerque to meet Matt at the airport. She assumed it was Matt; maybe his plane had landed early. “What’s up?” She said happily into her phone.
“Selena Summers?” Selena was surprised to hear a lady’s voice on the phone.
“Yes?”
“My name is Rose Dalton. I’m with the Morgan/Helm Agency. Are you the Selena Summers that’s been in the magazines? From Hollywood?”
“Yes.” Selena had no idea who this person was or where this conversation was leading, but she was prepared to give a flat refusal for any modeling or acting offers.
The lady took a deep breath. “I have your manuscript in front of me. I read the whole thing the other night. I couldn’t put it down, it was so entertaining.”
Selena slammed the brakes and whipped the car off the shoulder of the highway, as horns honked behind her. Her hands were trembling as she held the phone. “Yes?”
“I sent a letter off to a publisher with an excerpt from your manuscript and they are prepared to make you an offer.”
“Yes?” Selena’s voice trembled now along with her hands. She thought soon she’d be able to say more than just ‘yes,’ but it was all she could manage at the moment. Her heart was pounding against her chest and her stomach felt a little sick. Could this possibly be it? The phone call she’d so desperately hoped for?
“The editor, Sam, would like to meet you to discuss a contract,” Rose continued. “Is there any chance of you coming to New York, maybe within the next week, for a meeting?”
“New York City?”
Rose laughed. “Of course New York City. The Big Apple.”
“Yeah, I can come there,” Selena’s voice had grown stronger over the sound of traffic whizzing by on the interstate, but she could feel her palm sweating as she held the phone.
“Call me and let me know when and I’ll set it up with the editor?”
“Okay.” Selena’s sweaty hands shook as she hung up the phone. She sat on the shoulder of the highway for a few minutes, waiting for the rush of adrenaline to subside. Her hands were actually trembling. She held them in front of her face as she thought about it. Was she dreaming or did this just happen? It certainly felt like a dream. One of her ridiculous fantasies, where she had a bestselling novel and thousands of fans. This is how I was supposed to feel, I guess, with the modeling and acting, she thought. Excited and exhilarated. She couldn’t wait to tell Matt! She threw her car into gear and pulled back onto the highway.
She drove the rest of the way to the airport, barely able to focus on the road ahead of her. Her mind was a turmoil of emotion and she still had trouble believing it had really happened. She was afraid she was going to wake up and realize she was dreaming. She looked at the caller ID on her phone as she walked into the airport, staring at the strange number from New York City. It had been real. “I’m going to New York to meet with an editor,” she said aloud as she boarded the escalator, still moving as if in a dream.
She stopped walking and watched as Matt walked toward her, carrying one small black bag. His striking good looks still took her breath away and she noticed other women make furtive glances toward him as he walked. He walked tall and proud, a smile lighting up his face and his blue eyes twinkling when he saw Selena. She ran and jumped into his arms, squealing, bubbling over with excitement. She was pretty sure this was one of the happiest days of her life.
“Whoa, I’m happy to see you too,” Matt chuckled as he set her on her feet. Selena noticed other people glancing toward them as they passed. They were making a spectacle of themselves, but she didn’t care.
Selena described the call she’d had on the way to the airport, her face flushed with excitement. Matt picked her up off her feet and swung her around the middle of the airport as passersby stared and smiled. “I told you it would happen,” Matt said excitedly. “I knew when I read it, that book had a lot of potential. Let’s go out and celebrate.”
“I’m not dressed for it,” Selena glanced down at her jeans and cowboy boots.
“Neither am I, but let’s do it anyway.”
“Okay then,” she smiled happily. “I definitely feel like celebrating.”
They picked up Matt’s car from the airport, which Selena thought cost an exorbitant amount after how long it had been there. The shiny black paint was a dull matte color from a heavy coating of dust. The desert heat had baked the interior and it felt like an oven when they opened the doors. Matt ran the air conditioning and they stood outside and kissed like newlyweds until the car had cooled down. “I’m so proud of you, Selena,” Matt said between kisses. Selena basked in his praise, a warm feeling washing over her as she stood in the circle of his arms.
As he drove, Selena held his hand tightly between them. She directed him to the top of Sandia Mountain, where a restaurant sat on the summit, looking out across the city of Albuquerque. The sun was setting to the west, turning the sky different shades of orange and purple. As the light faded, the city lights began to twinkle far below them. They were seated in front of the glass windows, with a beautiful view of the city below them. “It’s like we’re looking at it from an airplane,” Selena said happily. She had never been to this restaurant and she couldn’t believe the views she’d been missing her whole life.
They discussed her book over dinner. “I don’t really know any details yet,” she told Matt. “And I was so excited, I could only answer ‘yes, yes,’ to every question. I threw my car off onto the shoulder and sat on the side of the highway while I talked to Rose, the agent.”
Matt threw his head back and laughed merrily. “Well, congratulations, Selena. You’ve worked hard for this and you’ve earned it.”
“I was also offered another modeling gig before I left L.A.” Selena told him about her meeting with Michael and his offer of a job. “But I don’t want anything more to do with Hollywood. I don’t want to be a supermodel or a movie s
tar.”
“You’d rather be a famous author instead?”
“I don’t know. I hadn’t really thought about being famous. I just want to be a published author and have people read my books.”
Matt laughed again. “God, I love you Selena. Acting and modeling fall into your lap when so many are struggling through auditions, but you turn it down to be a not famous author. You’re too much.”
“You do?”
“Do what?”
“You love me?”
“Of course I love you. I thought you knew that already.”
“I love you too, Matt.”
Matt leaned across the table and kissed her tenderly as Selena’s heart swelled with happiness. She put both hands on his face as she kissed him back. This was, for sure, the happiest day of her life.
They were interrupted then, as a family of four stopped at their table. “Aren’t you Matthew Mason?” A young mother asked, holding the hands of a child on each side of her. “And Selena,” her husband said, admiration in his voice. “One of the guys at work had her picture in the break room,” he said as his wife stared at him.
Matt flashed his brilliant smile, the one Selena had come to recognize as his ‘public’ smile. “Yes, guilty as charged,” he said.
“Could I get your autograph,” the wife said, as her husband continued staring at Selena.
Selena felt herself blush as the husband snatched the notepad from his wife’s hand after Matt had signed it. “Yours too, Selena,” he said. “The guys at work won’t believe it.”
Selena laughed with Matt after the couple had left, each dragging a tired child by the arm.
“I can’t believe anyone would want my autograph,” she said with a sardonic smile.
“You’re becoming a star, Selena,” Matt said. “Whether you want to or not.”
“That’s ridiculous,” she said. “I am not.”