by Karen Webb
Paul James was standing in her door, a six pack of cold beer in his hand. His eyes lit up when he saw Selena’s thin tank top and the roguish smile crinkled his mouth. “Sorry to bother you Selena, but I could really use a friend right now. My girlfriend, Sarah, just broke up with me over the phone.”
“I didn’t even know you had a girlfriend,” Selena said, her eyes growing wide. “I’ve never heard you mention her.”
“She’s been in Australia, filming a TV show…Please Selena, can’t you see I’m really hurting here.”
She couldn’t actually see it—his voice sounded shaky and mournful, but his eyes looked glittery and excited. Was he high on something? Or maybe drunk? She wasn’t sure, but she opened the door tentatively and let him in. He brushed against her as he entered and Selena took a step back. Turning, she quickly grabbed a robe and threw it around her shoulders, tying the belt into place as she followed Paul. “Maybe I should call Jennifer and see if she wants to have a drink too?”
“No,” Paul said quickly. “I just need a friend right now, Selena. Not a kid sister.” He dropped down onto the edge of her bed and opened a beer. Selena pulled up a chair and sat in it, facing him. Paul offered her a beer, and Selena opened it, barely sipping at it.
“It’s getting pretty late,” she hinted. “I was just going to bed.”
“I’m just all broken up inside,” Paul said, ignoring Selena’s hint. “I really thought she was the one.”
Selena saw a single tear roll down his face and she felt like a heel for her cold attitude. But really, what should she have done? She certainly didn’t want to give him the wrong impression. But she moved to the edge of the bed and put her arms around him, his apparent pain tugging at her heart. Paul put his head on her shoulder and held on like a drowning man.
Selena rubbed his back as she consoled him. Poor guy, she was thinking. He must have really cared for her.
Paul sat back finally and looked into her eyes, leaving one arm draped across her shoulder. “Why couldn’t she have been more like you, Selena? I think Matt is a very lucky guy to have snagged you up. You’re sweet, sexy and you have a good heart.”
Before she could answer, Paul leaned toward her, his mouth dipping down to hers. Selena didn’t realize what was happening until his lips touched hers. She leaped back, jumping off the bed and backing away. “I think you should go now, Paul.”
“I’m sorry Selena, I just got carried away. I guess I was just trying to forget my pain in your arms.” He stood up, wobbling slightly as he walked to the door. Selena didn’t realize her belt had come untied and her robe had fallen open. Paul turned and leered at her as he opened the door, his eyes traveling down her body where the robe had opened.
Selena had followed him to the door with every intention of turning the deadbolt behind him.
As he held the door open and looked back at her, a flashbulb popped in her eyes. A burly man with a camera—paparazzi—she assumed, was standing just outside her door and the flash exploded again as she pushed Paul into the hallway and closed the door quickly. “I’m sorry Selena,” Paul was saying as she shut the door on both of them.
Selena climbed angrily into her bed, her thoughts a jumble of confusion. Why had Paul come to her? He had certainly never mentioned a girlfriend before. And why had he tried to kiss her? Sure, she had kissed him onstage several times, but that was different. That was work, with a crowd of people around. She brushed her hand angrily across her mouth as she thought about it. Yet, angry as she felt, the kiss had excited her too. The chemistry she’d felt between them was undeniable in his kiss and she knew Paul felt it too. Maybe that’s why he’d come to her. Maybe he was attracted to her. She tossed angrily in her bed as she tried to sleep, and when sleep finally came, she dreamed of starring in a movie, the male lead slowly turning her face up for a kiss. But it was Matt’s face she saw, not Paul’s, and the kiss was electric, not some Hollywood crush, but a real kiss between lovers.
Paul seemed back to his usual self the following day. He laughed and joked with Selena as if nothing had happened. She had to wonder if he was hiding his pain or had he made the whole thing up to get in her room. He took both her and Jennifer to dinner and he laughed and joked as usual, but Selena thought she saw a sad, almost haunted look to his eyes. She was sure he was suffering and she felt bad for him. She silently forgave him for his bad behavior of the night before. She felt sure he was only seeking comfort in her arms to forget the pain Sarah had caused him. She declined his offer, however, to buy some beer and hang out with the two of them in the hotel. She said she was expecting a call from Matt in a few minutes. She could feel Paul’s eyes on her as she walked away. He does have the hots for me, she thought, her heartbeat accelerating. It was definitely flattering. It was Paul James, after all. She thought about the millions of teenage girls across the country that would love to have Paul James even look at them, and here she was, pushing him away. She shook her head, brushing the thought away. No, she was crazy about Matt—she wished he were here right now, not Paul James. She pictured Matt’s blue, blue eyes as she took the elevator to her room. She was just lucky Matt had even noticed her—any guy with his looks, and all his fans—oh, why couldn’t he hurry up and get here.
Thoughts of Matt had caused her to forget Paul James entirely by the time she reached her room. She sat down with her laptop and picked up on her story where she’d left off, visions of Matt still dancing before her eyes.
She hadn’t actually heard from Matt for a few days and she was hoping he would call. She knew he was super busy with filming in Toronto, but surely he could find the time for one quick call, couldn’t he? Maybe he’s found someone else—the unwelcome thought flew across her mind. No, she told herself. You’re just being stupid.
She forced her mind into the story she was working on, typing away until bed time, with still no call from Matt. She was engrossed in the story and typing away, when once again there was a tapping at her door. Selena sighed as she set her laptop down. She was not going to go through this with Paul every night. No way was she even going to let him come in this time. She yanked open the door angrily, once again forgetting to don her bathrobe. But it was Matt’s beautiful face staring down at her, a happy smile on his face and the mischievous light in his eyes as he took in her skimpy top. Selena stared in shock for a full minute, then threw herself into his arms, tears running down her cheeks as he buried his face in her neck. Finally, she finally had a true friend nearby, someone she could count on in this harsh, strange land. She had forgotten how tall he was, as she held onto him tightly, her arms still around his neck.
Matt finally walked her backwards, closing the door behind them. He still didn’t speak as he undressed her slowly and carried her to the bed. He made love to her slowly, aware of the fact that this was all pretty new to her.
Afterward, he held her in his arms as they caught up on all that had happened while they’d been apart. Finally, he asked her about their first night together. “How come you didn’t tell me you were a virgin?”
Selena felt her face flush as she lay in his arms. “I don’t know. It all just happened so quick, I guess I didn’t have a chance.”
Matt laughed softly in the dark. “Well, I’m glad I was your first. Did you enjoy it?”
Selena rolled over and sat on his chest. “Enough to do it again,” she whispered huskily.
“Oh, you’re a little vixen,” Matt said as he pulled her down to him, her long hair brushing his chest as they kissed passionately.
Afterward, they lay curled together on the huge bed, her head on Matt’s chest.
“How’s the movie going?” he asked her.
“Good, I guess,” she said. “I mean, Don says it’s going great, but it just feels awkward and disjointed to me.”
Matt chuckled. “Yeah, most people don’t realize how a movie is really made. Sometimes you’ll shoot the ending before the beginning.”
“Yeah, that’s how it’s been. And no matter how ha
rd I try, I’m just not into it. I don’t give a crap about their movie.”
Matt chuckled and squeezed her tighter. “You’ll get used to it, Babe. Just hang in there.”
Matt met the cast for dinner the following evening after they finished filming. He and Paul were good friends, but he hadn’t met Jennifer before. He was a welcome part of their easy camaraderie as they laughed and joked over sodas and pizza. They looked like two couples out for dinner and Selena held Matt’s hand under the table. They all smiled and laughed when a photographer stepped in front of them and snapped their picture. “Paparazzi,” Matt said, smiling happily at her.
“I know,” Selena answered. “You get used to it.”
“Wow.” Matt’s eyes grew wide. “I thought that was my line.”
“It is and you can have it. I’m still not too crazy about this whole Hollywood scene. I miss my wide open spaces.”
Matt put his big hand over hers on the table and squeezed it gently. “I know,” he said softly. “It’s one of the things I like best about you.”
The other two were forgotten momentarily as Matt stared deep into her eyes. Indeed, the entire world seemed to fade away as she lost herself in his intense stare. The traffic sounds faded away for a minute and the noisy conversations around them dimmed as she saw the love shining out of his sexy blue eyes. She even forgot about the paparazzi, who was still snapping pictures, as she lost herself in Matt’s eyes.
“Hey, did you two forget we’re here,” Paul joked, breaking the moment. Selena came back to earth as the noises filtered through again.
She watched in contentment as Matt joked with Paul and Jennifer, his charm too much for anyone to resist. She felt whole now that Matt was here, as if she could take on the world.
Even though Paul was laughing and joking with the group, Selena noticed occasionally a sad look cross his eyes as he stared at her and Matt. She wondered if it was just the thought of the love he had lost, or was it something more? Was he really that attracted to her? No, it couldn’t be, she finally decided. It was ridiculous to think that here she was, a nobody, from nowhere, and she had two Hollywood movie stars falling for her. Get real, she shook her head, banishing the thought.
Matt stayed with her in her room, and night after night she slept peacefully curled in his strong arms. They could have stayed at his home in the Hills, but her room was only blocks away from the studio. He even walked her down to the studio each morning, kissing her before leaving her at the door.
She’d had no more trouble from Paul since Matt’s arrival. He’d went back to treating Selena on a truly professional level as they worked together each day. But yet, Selena would sometimes see a sad look in his eyes, almost a longing, as he stared at her. It still left her feeling confused; how could he possibly be interested in her?
She had finished the story she’d been working on and Matt encouraged her to send it off. “You have to keep trying,” he reminded her again and again.
“I will,” Selena said every time he brought it up, but she kept procrastinating, afraid of being hurt by more rejection. She allowed Matt to read her story while she was working. Which was a new one for her—her friends and family weren’t even aware of her writing—she had certainly never shared her stories with anyone.
Even though it wasn’t the type of book he usually read, he found it fascinating. Her plot and her characters were so well laid out, he felt as if he was walking in their shoes. He recognized a real talent in her writing and he pushed Selena even more after he finished it. “It’s really fantastic, Selena. You have to send it off.” He thought now he understood why she was more interested in writing than acting.
“I will. I will,” she answered each time he brought it up.
“How many more stories have you written?”
“Total? Or just what’s good enough to publish?”
“Both.”
“Well, I’ve been writing since I was a kid. I have notebooks full of short stories in my closet. But I have fifteen manuscripts on my computer at home, several of which are the detective series. I’ve only recently sent anything to a publisher and it’s been a string of rejection letters.”
“Well, you have to keep trying, Selena. It’s the same with acting. I was waiting tables and going to auditions, where I was being turned down for every part. I was just about to give it up and look for a different line of work when I finally landed a part. The movie turned out to be a success and…well, I guess you know the rest of the story.”
Selena felt a lot better after he told her his story. She had never thought of Matt as poor and waiting tables. It made him seem more human to her and gave her hope for her own future. “I’ll send it in, I promise,” she told him again.
The following week, Selena was shocked when Matt entered her hotel room and threw a magazine on the bed by her. “What is this, Selena?” She was surprised at his angry tone and she had no idea what he was talking about. She set her laptop to the side as she looked at the magazine.
Matt began flipping through pages and stopped when he came to a picture of her and Paul. It was the picture the paparazzi had snapped from her hotel room door when she was trying to push Paul from her room. In the picture, her pajama pants and tank top were pretty evident, but it looked more as if she was hugging Paul than pushing him from her room. The caption almost brought her to tears.
A CAREER JUMPSTART?
It implied there was something going on between her and Paul. She couldn’t believe they could be so cruel. She went on to read the lines below the picture.
In a short amount of time, actress/model Selena Summers has been seen out with Matthew Mason and now Paul James. Sources have even told this magazine that she may have been intimate with Don Broward. But everyone has to start somewhere, right?
Selena felt the tears roll down her cheeks now as she read the hurtful words. How could they be so mean? The injustice of it was unbelievable. “Can’t I sue them for defamation or something?” She asked Matt, sniffing through her tears.
“They will just claim freedom of the press.” Matt’s voice was a little less angry as he watched the tears roll down Selena’s cheeks. “It never works. Besides, what were you doing with Paul in your room?”
“He came to my room because his girlfriend had broken up with him. He said he needed a friend.”
“Then what happened?”
“He tried to kiss me and I threw him out. That’s when the guy snapped our picture. I was pushing him from my room.”
Matt looked as if he wanted to believe her, but was still unsure. “Why would they say that about Don Broward? He’s twice your age.”
“I told you about the blond girl, Megan. I replaced her in the lead role. She was telling the cast that I was sleeping my way through Hollywood.”
Matt laughed softly, somewhat satisfied but still uneasy about the picture of her and Paul. “Hollywood can be vicious,” he said, shaking his head. He hugged Selena then and told her not to let anymore broken-hearted men into her hotel room. He seemed to laugh it off, but Selena felt as if something had changed between them, as if the purity of their relationship had been tainted. She felt a stiffness in his hug, as if he were keeping his guard up.
Selena finished filming the following week and Matt was flying to New York for interviews. He was promoting the movie he’d made in Canada and he left before Selena.
She cried a little as they kissed goodbye and he promised to see her soon. Would it always be this way? They seemed to always be saying goodbye as one or the other boarded a plane.
Matt felt a tug at his heart when he saw Selena’s tears. It made him feel good that she cared this much. “I still have my car at the airport in Albuquerque, I have to come back soon,” he said softly.
“Well…hurry and come back,” she smiled through her tears.
They stood together, clinging to each other in the middle of the busy airport as travelers ebbed and flowed around them. Selena wasn’t even surprised anymore when a fl
ashbulb popped in her eyes. Even now, she thought, as anger stirred in her stomach. Even in the middle of an intimate goodbye, they have to have their precious pictures?
Selena went back to her hotel, hugely depressed and tired of the city. She wished she could just give this up and run away with Matt. She hadn’t really minded filming the movie with Paul and Jennifer, and Don Broward was so easy to work with. He was like a father figure or a favorite uncle. But now, she understood what Matt had been telling her about the travel and the loneliness. She felt homesickness wash across her in waves as she thought of Rusty and the barrel racing season she was missing out on.
She finally turned to her laptop and immersed herself in a new story. A story for young adults, about a young girl lost in the desert and trying to find her way home. She typed late into the night, immersing herself in the story and even forgetting to stop for dinner.
Selena’s agent called her the following day. Estelle was the lady Don had recommended to her. “I got a call from a modeling agency,” she began as soon as Selena answered the phone. “One of their agents, Michael, is anxious to meet you. Do you want me to set it up?”
Selena sighed heavily. More modeling? Seriously? She knew most girls her age would be thrilled to have these exciting opportunities, but she just wanted to go home, and she wanted Matt by her side. “I guess,” she finally said into the phone. At least the pay is good, she reminded herself.