We Matter

by Etan Thomas

  We’ve been able to do some major things that we have never seen in Tulsa . . . We were able to get charges pressed, a week later. We were able to get a trial date within seven, eight months. An indictment. I have a huge opportunity to get these reforms passed . . . I’m fighting so hard behind the scenes getting stuff done. When I was in Tulsa last week, I ran through Tulsa like a Tasmanian devil. I met with the mayor, making demands. I met with so many people. I’ve put together a task force for Terence Crutcher and I just brought together some movers and shakers. We’ve been making it happen. We’ve been fighting. We’ve been doing a lot.

  You know, that march when Reverend Al [Sharpton] came? They said it was one of the largest marches Tulsa has ever had.

  Etan: That’s amazing. How can people help you now? And how can people contribute, whether they’re athletes or not?

  Crutcher: We get moved by the moment . . . we’re angry, we’re outraged, and then we’re on to the next thing. I need for people to speak out. Stop being silent. And let’s put some pressure not just on the local government, but we need to put pressure on Jeff Sessions, on Donald Trump, and let them know that we’re not going to stand for this. You have little pockets of people here and there maybe doing something . . . but we need a clear-cut and concise message that we all can stand behind or get behind. And we need to execute it precisely.

  Interview with Allysza Castile

  (Sister of Philando Castile)

  The interview with Dr. Crutcher was conducted before Betty Shelby, the officer who murdered Terence Crutcher, was found not guilty of all charges. I had visited Tulsa for a prayer rally days before the verdict was given. I spoke on the same stage with Reverend Al Sharpton. When I returned home a few days later, I was met with the news that the jury had in fact returned a verdict of not guilty. I was sick to my stomach. My daughter Baby Sierra offered me words of encouragement:

  Baby Sierra: “Daddy, I know you were sad yesterday and I know why, Malcolm explained it to me.”

  Me: “Yeah?”

  Baby Sierra: “Yes, because you went to Tulsa to protest what happened to your friend’s brother by the police and the police lady didn’t get punished for it.”

  Me: “Yeah, I’m sorry if I was a little quiet yesterday.”

  Baby Sierra: “No, I understand, and I wanted to give you these flowers to make you feel better.”

  Me: (Smiling) “These are great, Baby Sierra.”

  Baby Sierra: “Okay, and I just want to let you know to not give up and just like you tell us, if you fall down, get knocked down, or fall short, pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and keep going.”

  Me: “That’s fantastic advice.”

  She was absolutely right: as devastated as I was, I couldn’t stop. Tiffany later told me that she had absolutely no intention of stopping anything. How she was going to continue to push to get the laws changed so that this doesn’t happen to someone else’s brother or son or father. How she wants the mayor to turn his condolences and his heartfelt apologies into action toward police reform. She said that Tulsa has the opportunity to be the change that every other city in the country wants and needs. She vowed that the entire Crutcher family would continue to be part of the solution and agents for that change.

  Shortly after I returned from Tulsa, Philando Castile’s cousin asked if I would be interested in interviewing his mother and his sister. Philando had been killed by police in Minnesota on July 6, 2016. I said, “Of course.” She told me how uncomfortable his sister Allysza was speaking in public about this, but that she wanted to be a part of We Matter and really get the message out about her brother. This was a very difficult interview for me. I could hear the pain in her voice. She broke down twice during the interview and I started getting choked up myself. To be honest, I started getting choked up at some point during all of these interviews. When Jahvaris pointed to his bracelet and said that it’s a reminder of his brother; when Emerald talked about how the media just goes on to the next story and they are all alone—and that she was nervous to leave the house for a long time. How they need counseling but can’t afford it.

  The reason I am so passionate about this project is because you hear firsthand from the victims how much it helps them when athletes use their voice and their platform. You hear how appreciative they are. You also get to hear about their personal loss, who the victim was to their family.

  Etan: Talk to me about what Philando meant to you as a brother.

  Allysza Castile: My brother was my best friend. We were ten years apart so I came in the picture as a baby and he was already ten years old. Our little baby pictures, he’s holding me like I was his baby. I didn’t really have a father figure so my brother was that father figure for me. He showed me how to fix a bike, how to defend myself, talked to me about boys, birds and the bees, everything. He was always there for me, and was a very loving, kind, warmhearted, sweet-spirited person. You never heard him yell, never heard him raise his voice. We would talk and joke and also have serious conversations about what was going on in the world . . . As soon as I came home I would immediately go find him and say, “What you doin’, big head?” and he would say, “What your lips doin’?” That was like our thing that we would say to each other. I lost a lot, a lot was taken away from me. I didn’t just lose a brother, I lost a friend, a mentor, a father figure, a teacher, a confidant. I used to talk to him about all my problems and issues and would get his perspective from a man’s point of view. Even though we were ten years apart, we were just very close . . .

  I remember the day before, he asked me if I watched the video of Alton Sterling and I was like, “Naw, bro, I am so tired, I can’t watch that,” and we sat here and we talked about it . . . If you go back on my Facebook, I made a post that said I was so tired of this. Then I woke up the next morning to it knocking right on my front door. I would have never imagined this would happen to my brother. He was just talking to me about this and how we have to be careful and how the police are killing us and we had to be aware and know what was going on and . . . it sucks. It really . . . I don’t talk about this much because I am very emotional and I just start crying at the drop of a hat, but . . . that was really my best friend and it’s hard for him to not be here and me not seeing his beautiful smile and lighting up a room . . . Okay, I’m sorry, can we take a break . . . ?

  Etan: Take all the time you need.

  Castile: He was my brother and I thank you for doing this entire project. It’s so important, I just need a minute to pull myself together . . .

  My brother’s job where he worked, those kids were his kids. He didn’t have children himself, and he treated all of those kids with the love and care that you would treat your own children. I didn’t know the depths of how much he impacted their lives until after his death. I saw all of the kids pouring out their hearts. There was a white family at this press conference and the daughter said to me, “He was like a brother to me too.” And I cried and they were crying . . . After his death, that’s when all of these things came out.

  I remember seeing on the news this little boy who was around eight years old, and he was at a little press conference thing and he was telling the media in his little voice, “Phil was my best friend and he got killed by the police and it’s not fair.” And it was really crazy to hear all of these little white kids saying all of the things my brother did for them. “He helped me, he walked me to the bus, he made sure I had a ride and wouldn’t leave until my ride came and I was safe, he was my protector, he helped pay for my lunch when I didn’t have any money.” They knew him and loved my brother, like genuinely loved him. Hearing them say things like he had rainbows in his heart, and he knew all of these kids’ names and allergies, and . . . if they were getting picked on or bullied, he was there for them and helped them. Not just in his supervisor position, but he genuinely actually helped and cared for these little kids. One of his supervisors was saying that one time the power went out and he manually wrote down all of the kids’ lunch PIN num
bers and said, “We’ll take care of all of the administrative stuff later and enter it into the computer system later, but the kids have to eat first.” That just shows his heart.

  Etan: What did it mean to you when you saw all of the support from the greater sports world on behalf of your brother, particularly from the WNBA who were in the middle of their season at the time? The Minnesota Lynx, your hometown team, showed up at a game in black shirts with the phrases Black Lives Matter, Change Starts with Us, and Justice and Accountability, along with an image of the Dallas police shield and the names Alton Sterling and Philando Castile. And they continued to make that statement and it spread throughout the entire WNBA. Talk to me about what that level of support for your brother meant to you.

  Castile: It really touched my heart. If I could personally meet each and every one of the WNBA players, I would give them all a hug and tell them individually, “Thank you for speaking out and supporting my brother, it was just so brave.” Some people in the spotlight are afraid to speak out, but they weren’t at all. They used their voices and their outlet and told the entire world that what happened to my brother and to Alton Sterling was wrong . . . I can’t thank them enough for showing their love and support to my family and every other family who lost their loved ones . . . They all spoke from their hearts and said what was needed to be heard. They could’ve all lost their jobs, they were getting all kinds of backlash, but they still stood strong for my brother, and not everybody on the team was Black. There were all the white players and the players from all over the world who were saying, “No, this was wrong and this can’t happen,” and . . . I just love them for doing that for my brother . . .

  I’m about to start getting emotional again.

  Etan: That’s okay, take your time.

  [Short break.]

  Etan: One of the things that makes what the WNBA did so remarkable is the fact that the WNBA players aren’t paid as well as the men, so they aren’t as financially set as their male counterparts. I really thought that was brave for them to do.

  Castile: That was just the heart of a warrior for them to do that, in the face of everything that was going on. I heard some of them were actually getting threats that someone was going to hurt them, which is just absolutely crazy, but in spite of the threats, the backlash, their employer actually telling them to stop, they continued. They told the world what happened to my brother. They actually told the media, “We’re not going to answer any of your questions, so don’t even ask, this is what we are talking about.” Me and my family were watching it in amazement like, Wow, look at these strong sisters. And for the police to say that they wouldn’t police their games? That was just beyond absurd. But I just commend them for standing up and not caring about any of that, staying focused on what is right and what is wrong.

  Etan: Do you pay attention to the other cases?

  Castile: Oh yes, how could I not? I feel so sad for Terence Crutcher’s sister because they just let this woman off for murdering her brother. I don’t even know what to say, my heart is literally broken because of this . . . We all saw the tape, he was not being aggressive in any way, he had his hands up, his car was broke down . . . and she said she was scared, he looked like a big bad dude. Well, if you are that scared, maybe you shouldn’t be a policeman. These are people’s lives, these are human beings who have families and loved ones, these aren’t just targets . . . They shouldn’t be able to be the judge and jury and use the excuse, “I was in fear for my life.” It’s not fair. There are no second chances once you take someone off the earth. You get a second chance, you don’t even get punished, but that person is no longer here, no longer breathing and taken away from his family, and that’s not fair.

  Etan: Were you as surprised as I was to see so many white people speaking out for your brother?

  Castile: I think it’s very important for them to speak out. What happened years and years ago with slavery, it’s not their fault. We know that. But as time went on, they benefited from slavery in a way that cannot be denied. They benefited from Jim Crow in a way that cannot be denied. So for them to now, from that state of privilege, to speak out and say that this is not right and this is not fair, means a lot. They don’t have the same interactions with the police that we have. The police don’t treat them the way they treat us. And everybody knows that. Either you are going to be part of the solution or you’re going to be part of the problem. We have been speaking out and crying out for years . . . People hear it more when they say it. That’s just a fact. It resonates more with other white people when they hear them speak about how wrong it is. For them to make the statement that “Black Lives Matter” even though that’s not what the police are showing us. For them to say by the thousands like they did that what they did to my brother was wrong . . . I can’t even find the words to explain how important that is. The community of Falcon Heights, they were having meetings with the mayor and were demanding that my brother have a monument as a reminder to everyone about what happened, and I really appreciate them for doing that. They saw my brother as a human being.

  Etan: Everyone should be outraged when this happens. Nobody should be okay with it.

  Castile: That’s right. Listen, I don’t want to see this happen to anybody else. I don’t want anyone to feel the pain and the hurt that I have felt. That my family has felt. I have a gun license as well, because I am scared. And I shouldn’t be scared to drive in my car with my gun that I bought that I have a legal right to have . . . This is messed up, that I honestly don’t feel safe. How would you expect me to feel right now? People seriously have to question why Black people get nervous and scared whenever a policeman gets behind them or pulls them over. We saw what you did to Sandra Bland, we saw what you did to Alton Sterling, we saw you on tape carrying Freddie Gray’s lifeless body to the back of a truck and then reporting, “Oh, he somehow broke his spinal cord, but we don’t know what happened.” Broke his spinal cord? And you expect us not to be afraid?

  Etan: And just to reiterate, y’all have every right to bear arms just like those gun-loving, NRA-supporting, Second Amendment–spewing Republicans.

  Castile: And it’s messed up because when I go to the gun-range shows by my house, the white guys have the guns on their hips and they walk outside to the store. Let me try to do that. Walk outside with a gun on my hip. You know how quick someone will call the police on me? But they won’t call the police on them. Open-carry state or not. Permit or not. License or not. Legally purchased or not. They won’t ask any of that with them, but with me they automatically assume. There can’t be laws for them and laws for us. We don’t have Black Codes anymore, at least we’re not supposed to. And did you hear the NRA come out and support us at all even after it was made clear that Philando had a license and a legally purchased gun? They didn’t say a thing. Not even an RIP tweet. How is that even possible?

  Etan: Well, I am doing something with Emerald Snipes, Eric Garner’s daughter, called the Children of the Movement where we will have the children and siblings of the victims go around and speak at different places.

  Castile: Oh wow, that sounds amazing . . . And I want to keep my brother’s name alive. We established the Philando Castile Relief Foundation, and basically it’s to help victims and families who have been affected by gun violence in particular from the police, or police brutality in general. Whether it’s helping them with a meal, or getting them a stipend, helping them with bills, or emotional support and therapy and counseling, because people just don’t know the turmoil that we go through. They don’t know how much some people just need love and support. We let them know how difficult the process is going to be. How they are going to have to listen to the lawyers, and the police and the media tear down their loved ones and attempt to convince everyone from the judge to the jury to the public that their loved one basically deserved to die. They will demonize them and it’s going to literally break their hearts to hear. I would love to join your Children of the Movement. I think that is a wonder
ful idea. That’s what I want to do—to keep his legacy alive and do what he would have wanted us to do. He wouldn’t have wanted us to be walking around moping, sad. He would want us to be doing something. Fighting for justice and for humanity. We want to make sure this doesn’t happen to anybody else.

  Chapter 2

  Athlete Activism Matters

  Now that they occupy a position where they can be more than symbols of black achievement, where they can actually serve their communities in vital and tangible ways, while also addressing the power imbalance within their own industry from a position of greater strength, they seem most at a loss, lacking purpose and drive . . . [C]ontemporary black athletes have abdicated their responsibility to the community with treasonous vigor.

  —William C. Rhoden, Forty Million Dollar Slaves

  In his book, Mr. Rhoden takes the readers on a captivating journey with the Black athlete, from the plantation to nineteenth-century boxing rings, from Tom Molineux, “who represented the beginning of the African American athlete’s march across time,” when he literally won his freedom from slavery with his fists, to Jack Johnson and Andrew “Rube” Foster, the founder of the Negro League. Rhoden talks about the athlete-activist foreparents like Jesse Owens, Althea Gibson, and Willie Mays. I think his book should be required reading for every athlete at nearly every academic level. It touches on the unfortunate paths and states of mind that have overtaken the realities of some Black athletes of today. It could serve as an example for so many athletes of what not to become. That said, I respectfully disagree with the overall notion that the Black athlete today is simply “lost,” as Mr. Rhoden labels us in his book.