Nobody's Baby

by Carol Burnside

  It was imperative she make Dr. Krieger understand that strict bed rest wasn’t necessary, so she could go home. Other than the occasional lightheadedness and intermittent backache, she felt fine and perfectly able to fend for herself.

  She sat on the exam table, prepared for the additional ultrasound that James and Allie had requested some time ago. They’d loved viewing their baby and didn’t care if they had to pay extra for the privilege.

  “Will you make sure Mr. Hawthorne gets a picture of the baby today?” she asked the plump nurse taking her blood pressure.

  “Sure, but I understand Dr. Krieger is inviting him in to see for himself.”

  “Oh. I didn’t realize.” Kate digested the unexpected news as the nurse recorded her vitals, informed her that the doctor would be in shortly and left her alone.

  Rio was calling the shots now. His baby, his decision. He had every right to view the child he’d taken responsibility for, though it made her self-conscious to think of him seeing her bare belly looking like she’d swallowed a basketball.

  That thought had barely formed when Dr. Krieger swept through the door, her smile as perfect as the up-do she twisted her graying hair into each morning. Rio followed close behind.

  “All right. Let’s get this man a look at his bab—, er, his nephew.” Dr. Krieger shot Rio an apologetic smile as she helped Kate into a reclining position. “We don’t get too many uncles in here.”

  “No problem.” Rio looked everywhere but at Kate, obviously nervous about what must be his first visit to an obstetrics exam room.

  Dr. Krieger bent over Kate’s chart, reading the vital stats recorded by the nurse. Seizing the moment, Kate took pity on him and patted the exam table beside her. “Why don’t you stand over here where you have a clear view of the monitor?”

  She hadn’t thought about how tight the space would be for him or how close he’d be.

  He leaned in, his cool gray eyes guarded. “You okay with me being in here?”

  Kate smiled to reassure him. “It’s all part of being a surrogate. I’m used to it. Once she turns the monitor on, you’ll forget I’m even here.”

  He shot her an enigmatic look. “I don’t think so.”

  “Okay, you know the drill.” Dr. Krieger bunched Kate’s pale blue maternity tee under her breasts and helped tug her elastic-paneled jeans low on her hips. “This will be cold.”

  The warning never did anything to negate that first splat of gel hitting her warm skin. Kate closed her eyes and sucked in a breath, releasing it when Dr. Krieger touched the wand to her belly and the fast whir-whir of the baby’s heartbeat filled the room. She hadn’t looked at an ultrasound since the first one. Back then it had hardly seemed real, this child inside her, not until she’d seen the curve of his head, seen the movement she felt inside echoed on the screen.

  “There he is, Mr. Hawthorne. That’s your nephew in vitro.”

  Rio didn’t respond.

  Kate opened her eyes to check his reaction. His were round with surprise or maybe shock and focused on the screen. He sucked in a shaky breath, his expression changing to something between awe-struck and stunned dismay.

  “Whoa, that’s ... Oh, wow.” He’d raised his hand as if to point at the image but never fully made the gesture. As his hand lowered, it touched hers, his fingers curling around hers and squeezing.

  It’s not real. He doesn’t realize what he’s doing. It’s not real. Kate focused on a blood pressure cuff stuffed into a metal wall basket. Cold hard metal. That’s what her heart had to be today.

  Except Rio’s warm hand clutching hers like a lifeline was all too real. The baby’s heartbeat filled her ears as if calling to her, saying, “Look at me. I’m real.”

  She didn’t realize she was squeezing back until Rio touched her shoulder. “Kate? You okay?”

  “Fine.” Her smile was tight, and she was positive he would notice, but he relinquished her hand and returned his attention to the screen.

  “Man, this is something. I didn’t know the pictures would be like this. A friend showed me his wife’s sonogram one time, and it was this little grainy black and white thing. I couldn’t even tell there was a baby. He looks ready to come out.”

  “It’s the latest and greatest in technology,” Dr. Krieger said with pride. “And he’ll be here before you know it.”

  She removed the wand, mopped the goo off Kate’s stomach and pulled her top back in place. “Kate, have you decided on a new labor coach?”

  The question caught her unaware, but she seized upon the idea Rio had voiced of his mom filling in. “I have someone I’m considering.”

  “Well, you’d better put the plan in motion. This little guy is in position and ready for his big day,” she remarked while pushing buttons on the machine and turning away to make a notation in Kate’s chart.

  “But I’ve got at least three weeks to go.”

  “True. Mind you I’m not anticipating anything but a perfectly normal on-time delivery, but babies can be unpredictable. It wouldn’t hurt to be ready.”

  Dr. Krieger’s delivery was casual, but the very idea that things might not go strictly according to plan caused panic to rise inside Kate. Except for Allie and James dying, everything had happened as anticipated. Surely that wouldn’t change now.

  Kate looked to see how Rio was taking the doctor’s comments, but he didn’t seem to be listening. His expression was sober as he stared at the screen where he’d seen the nearly full-term fetus on display. She touched his arm. “Would you mind helping me sit up and give me a few minutes alone with the doctor?”

  “Sure.” He extended both hands and pulled her upright, the muscles in his upper chest and arms bunching in a way Kate couldn’t help but notice.

  “I’ll wait for you by the back door.” He shook Dr. Krieger’s hand and slipped out.

  “What’s up, Kate?”

  “Doc, can’t I go back to my own place? The edema is much better, and I’ll continue to stay off my feet. I promise.”

  “I understand you all had to park in the employee lot and come in through the back to avoid reporters.”

  Kate sighed. “Yes, but the furor has died down some since the memorial service. It’s not that bad. Besides, Rio hired a bodyguard to watch over me. It’s perfectly safe.”

  “Listen to yourself, Kate. Reporters and a bodyguard? These are not the norm. My job is to recommend what’s best for you and the child you’re carrying. I can’t in good conscience send you home when I know you’re better insulated from stress at Hawthorne House and there’s someone around to watch over you.” Her eyes narrowed. “How are things with Mr. Hawthorne and his mother? Is there something you’re not telling me?”

  “No. My desire to be home has nothing to do with them. Rio is kind and generous, a pretty decent cook and —”

  “All that and handsome too?” The doctor voiced the question with dry humor while moving toward the door. “Good. Then he’s probably contributing to the improvement in your health. Any other problems I should know about?”

  Kate hesitated, not wanting to sound like a hypochondriac, yet worried that it might be important. “Only what I told your nurse. Occasional dizziness and sometimes my back aches.”

  “That’s pretty normal at this stage of pregnancy. Don’t make sudden moves and if you have actual pain or feel like a band is tightening around your stomach, call the office. That could be the onset of labor, and we’ll need to check it out.”

  “I will, but this way it’s harder to stay objective.”

  “Kate, you don’t give yourself enough credit. You’ve done beautifully this whole time. I don’t think you’re going to lose your hold on reality in a couple weeks. You’re understandably disappointed, but it’s better to stay where you are. Try to relax and enjoy the pampering. See you next week.”

  Disappointed, yeah. But oddly enough, not as much as she’d expected. Kate stared at the closing door, hating the feeling she’d lost control of her life.

  * *
* * *

  Building after building passed by Rio’s window as the town car drove through the upscale Cherry Creek section of Denver. Seeing the movie version of James’ son inside Kate had been as scary as it was awesome. A part of Rio marveled at what he’d seen, and at the same time he was nervous and worried about having the responsibility of taking care of such a small being.

  He knew next to nothing about diapers and formula or even dressing an infant, but at least he hadn’t been stupid enough to voice the question in his mind as to how that little human could possibly work his way out of Kate.

  Struck with sudden inspiration, he broke the silence. “I need to make a stop nearby. It shouldn’t take long, but I can have Toby take you to the house and bring me back if you’d rather not wait.”

  She shrugged and lifted her chin, making her short cap of dark hair shift away from her face. “I don’t mind.”

  Rio pushed a button. “Toby, could you swing by The Tattered Cover? I won’t be long.”

  “Yes, sir.”

  Curiosity replaced the dull discouragement he’d seen in Kate’s eyes after leaving the doctor’s office, but she didn’t comment.

  “I figure I should at least read up on babies and see what I’ll be faced with,” he offered by way of explanation as the car swung around a corner and stopped at the well-known bookstore.

  “Not a bad idea.”

  After loading up a bag with enough books to keep him reading until the baby was due to arrive, Rio returned to the car. “This ought to do it.”

  Kate’s brows lifted. “I should say so.”

  “Overkill?”

  She lost the battle on a smile. “Maybe a little.”

  He grinned, glad she was talking again. His mom’s cautions echoed in his head, but he was tired of watching everything he said around Kate. This time he brushed them aside. “Would you like to watch a movie tonight and order Chinese or something?”

  “Is that something your mom might like too?”

  “I think so, and we could all use a distraction.”

  “Then let’s do it. I think I’ll check with her about being my labor coach tonight. You were right. She would be a good person to ask, and it might give her something to look forward to. She seems depressed since the memorial service.”

  “Uhm ... about that coaching idea.” He grimaced, knowing he wasn’t about to make Kate’s day. “Mom is leaving tomorrow. She has another obligation to take care of back home.”

  “Oh. So, do you think I shouldn’t ask?”

  “Didn’t say that. Just thought you should know there’s a possibility she wouldn’t be able to make it back here in time.”

  Kate played with her bottom lip, a concerned crease forming between her brows. “I’m running out of options.”

  “Oh, come on. Women tend to be pretty sociable. There must be someone among your friends who’d step in.”

  She lifted one shoulder, looking a little embarrassed. “Believe it or not, raising teenagers in my early twenties limited my social life. I’ve had coworkers join me for casual lunches or the occasional cocktail, but I haven’t been in touch with them for months.”

  “A relative?”

  “My brothers would be horrified, not that I’d want them there, and there’s really no one else suitable.” Her voice had taken on an edge that hadn’t been there before.

  “Your mother?”

  “Not an option.” The slight curl of Kate’s upper lip and the eye roll told him to leave that subject alone. Rio knew all about unsavory family members.

  “Well, there’s still time. I’m sure you’ll think of someone,” he assured her as Toby drove the car through the gates and onto Hawthorne House grounds.

  * * * * *

  Reading about infant care gave Rio a nervous stomach, so he left the second floor sitting room and went to check on Kate. As he raised his hand to knock on the partially opened door, her voice stopped him.

  “Hi, Janice. This is Kate Morrissey. We used to work together —” A short pause followed, then Kate gave a self-conscious laugh. “Yes, those were nice lunches, weren’t they? Listen, Janice, the reason … What did you say?”

  Not wanting to intrude on her call, Rio turned to go, but something in Kate’s voice as she spoke again held him in place.

  “Yes. It was a terrible loss and so sad, but it was a huge relief to know the baby’s uncle is planning to take charge of him. You see, the mother had planned to be my labor coach, but now, well, I thought you might consider filling in since you’re a mother and already know how these things work. This being my first time and all, I could use someone with the voice of experience.” Her tone wavered on the last line, suggesting to Rio that this meant more to Kate than her attempt at casualness suggested.

  Silence filled his ears after her sudden rush of words, broken by the sound of Kate’s sigh. He should come back in a few minutes, but already he’d learned that she wasn’t as calm and sure about having a baby as she pretended.

  “No, don’t feel bad. I’ll be fine. We both know there will be enough medical staff in the room to get me though it, but I guess I just wanted someone there to hold my hand. For after, you know?” Kate’s voice was tight now. “I’m looking forward to it and yet, dreading that particular moment.”

  She paused again, then continued with a stronger voice, “You’re right. Getting back into normal clothes and my exercise routine is definitely a plus, just like this opportunity is great for you and your family. Tell your husband I said congratulations on the new job. I’m sure your parents will be thrilled to have their grandkids nearby, but keep my number in your phone, okay? I’d love to hear how you’re doing.”

  Rio gathered the call was drawing to a close, so he tapped on the door, then stuck his head around it and whispered. “Hey.”

  Kate gave him a tight smile from her position on the bed, propped against the headboard with pillows. She looked soft and vulnerable in the blue outfit, with her feet bare and hair tucked behind her ears. “Janice, I’ve got someone here needing to speak with me, so I need to let you go. But congratulations again and have a safe trip.”

  After a couple more short responses and a quick “bye,” Kate ended the call. “Did you need something?”

  “Exactly what I was going to ask you. It’s been a while since we got back, and I thought you might want a change of scenery, even if it’s another room. I know I do.”

  “Rio, you don’t have to stay here with me. I promise I’ll stay put and be a good girl.”

  “Thanks, but I’d rather not be around other people right now. It’s awkward because they feel like they need to say something sympathetic, and I’d rather they didn’t remind me during the one moment I might have thoughts of something else.” Why he’d told her that, he wasn’t sure, except he’d begun to feel more at ease around Kate. Not like she was someone he’d met a few days ago. Maybe it was all the physical contact they had because of her mobility constraints.

  Even if the situation were different, it wouldn’t have occurred to him to leave her. Give her space, yes, but she was a guest in his home, and he’d been taught better than to leave his guests to fend for themselves. Besides, there was something about Kate that brought out his protective side.

  “All right. If you’re sure. Speaking of being around other people, Margaret usually steps in occasionally but hasn’t come by lately. I take it she’s not back from visiting her friends yet.”

  “No, but she called to say she was staying for dinner with them and will join us for the movie later. I think this place is too full of memories for her right now.”

  “What’s made you antsy? Have you been reading?” she asked with a knowing smile that did nothing to calm his stomach.

  There were times he’d pay real money to see Kate’s smile, her face transformed from merely pretty to a real beauty. She looked good in blue. He crossed his arms and raised his chin, braving it out. “Maybe.”

  “Ran into some scary stuff, didn’t you?”


  He dropped his arms and the pretense, needing to get some of his frustration out. “Damn, you’re not kidding. It’s daunting, the idea of how at your mercy these tiny beings are. I think my hands may be too big to do some of this stuff and what if I can’t differentiate what one cry means from another. I mean, how do you figure that kind of stuff out? Trial and error? While this experimentation is going on, the poor kid is still suffering with whatever is causing him to cry in the first place and probably blasting out my eardrums in the process.”

  “Whoa. You really are worked up about this stuff, aren’t you?”

  “You’ve no idea.” He dreaded raising this child in ways Kate couldn’t possibly imagine.

  She waggled her fingers at him and bounced her brows in an exaggerated attempt at sultry that made him smile despite his worries. “Come give me a ride to the kitchen, and we’ll exchange fears and commiserate.”

  He heard his mom’s cautions in his head, but it didn’t stop him from giving her a flirty once over before scooping her off the bed. “Lady, you’ve got a deal.”

  Carrying Kate was no hardship. Far from it. He often found himself wishing she needed to move around more because he liked the feel of her in his arms. He really liked her, pregnancy and all. That should scare him, but he was already committed to the most frightening thing he could think of — raising a child. Flirting with Kate felt good and right now he needed to feel good about something in his life.

  Once they were settled at the kitchen table with a snack of veggies and ranch dip, Rio asked, as if he didn’t already know, “So what do you fear?”

  “Hel-lo. Labor.” Her tone suggested he was crazy for asking. “You know, the painful process by which this child will become yours?”

  He didn’t call her on the playful delivery. “I get it, but keep him in there for a while longer, won’t you?”

  “Oh, believe me, I’m not eager for the day. Well, that’s not entirely true. Some days I want nothing more than to be trim again and back to my running routine. Then I have one of those sharp pains and the whole birth process makes me want to hide under the bed.”

  He canted his head sideways. “Can’t quite see you sliding under a bed these days.”