Man, it felt so good to be able to talk to him again. Really talk like they used to late at night. “Not intentionally. I just feel so much older.”
“Well, duh, Kate. You essentially became a mother to two half-grown kids at seventeen, managed a house and school, then after graduation, a part-time job with babysitting on the side.”
Her throat thickened a little, just hearing him acknowledge her like that.
“Hello? You’re not getting all misty on me, are you?”
“Maybe a little.”
“Look, it’s final exam time. People hole up to study, they’re stressed and sleep-deprived and things on campus get a little weird. Maybe it’ll feel different to you when the new semester starts.”
“I don’t think that’s it. Maybe it’s me. I just feel like something’s off here. It’s not anything like I expected.”
“How’s the new place?”
“Fine.”
“Preregistered?”
“Check.”
“Give it a little time. It felt a little weird when I started college, too.”
“Yeah. Good advice. Thanks, Zach.” Kate ended the call and wondered if there were other things she’d been blind to while dreaming of a world that didn’t exist.
Chapter Fourteen
He has hungry eyes. That was the thought that stuck in Kate’s mind when she opened her door a week later and saw Rio standing on the other side. “I ... I didn’t hear you knock,” she stammered in surprise and shock.
“Just arrived. I hadn’t yet. Knocked, I mean.”
“What’re you doing here?” Definitely hunger in them. She wasn’t mistaken about that. Kate was suddenly ravenous. Moments before she’d been focused on finding a crowd to disappear into, even if it meant she’d be exasperated at evening’s end. The sight of him was almost too sweet for her to bear. “I ... I wasn’t expecting you, ah, anyone. I was on my way out.”
Babbling again. She had to pull it together. If only she didn’t feel like dragging him inside and jumping his bones, that would be more feasible. He looked good. Fresh hair cut, shorter on the sides than on top, exactly as she remembered the day he’d practically mowed her down at the lawyer’s office. Even then, she’d found him attractive.
“I’m sorry. I should’ve called.” He raised one hand toward his hair as if to spear his fingers through it, then let it drop. “This was an impulse trip. I have something for you and something I wanted to say, then I’ll go. Or ...”
He trailed off, his gaze darting over her coat, scarf and dress boots. She could’ve sworn his skin paled beneath the tan. “You have a date? I can come back later.”
She was tempted to let his assumption stand. That would be so much easier, but her sense of fairness reared its head, though she stopped short of complete disclosure. “No date. I was just heading out to see some people. But the plans are loose. You know college kids. Everything done on the fly.”
He looked puzzled. “So ...?”
“Oh. Sorry. Come on in. I can go later. Like I said, it’s a loose kind of thing.”
“Just one second. I have something in the car.”
“A.J.? Is he with you?” Late at night, when thoughts of Rio were driving her insane, the only thing that let her sleep was remembering A.J.’s tiny fingers wrapped around her own. So soft and sweet.
“In Denver, with Mom. She’s crazy about the little guy and decided she’d stick around to see his first Christmas.” He held up an index finger then left to rummage in the back seat of the Land Rover. His head emerged, chin balanced on several boxes of varying sizes. They were professionally wrapped in cheery Christmas paper, bound together with large red ribbons and topped with a giant red and white bow.
She stepped back, holding the door so he could maneuver through, then closed it behind him. “What’s all this? When you said a package, I thought maybe something came through the mail.”
He looked around, presumably for a tree, then sat them on the couch. “From me to you. Merry Christmas.” Twice more he went to the vehicle and came back with more presents.
She shook her head, completely baffled over his unexpected appearance and now, a mountain of gifts. “I don’t know what to say. I didn’t expect —”
“No strings attached. I don’t expect you to open them now. And if you already have something similar, gift receipts are included. Take them back and buy something you need, something that will help you with your studies, or ... whatever.” He did the hand-to-hair thing again, this time ruffling through the top so strands fell over his forehead.
She linked her fingers together to keep from reaching to smooth those strands back in place. Or worse, mussing them even more. A flash of memories assailed her, of feeling those silken strands against her skin, his mouth on hers, their bodies joined.
Flustered, she took off her thick coat and scarf and hung them on a small coat tree near the door. Even with a few homey touches she’d tried to add to the furnished rooms such as the coat tree, family pictures and three plants, it didn’t yet feel like home. She smoothed her sweater over her leggings and adjusted the cowl neck, then clasped her hands in front of her. “Can I take your coat? Get you something to drink?”
He declined the drink but relinquished his outerwear. She managed to take the coat without touching him.
“Please.” She gestured toward the sofa behind him while sliding onto an armless chair. “Sit. You’re making me nervous.”
He sat, leaning over wide-spread knees, his gaze intent. “It’s good to see you, Kate. You look well. Great, actually.”
“I found that Pilates class I wanted. It helps when bad weather makes it difficult to run.” Hoping it didn’t look too obvious, she drank him in. To her way of thinking, there were few men who looked yummy in a sweater, but Rio was one of them. She loved the way the soft blue clung to his abs and shoulders. Not enough that he looked like an over-beefed weightlifter in a too-small tee, but just enough to show off his wanna-get-my-hands-on-that body.
He nodded in response to her comment and looked down at his loosely linked hands dangling between his knees. The seconds stretched.
“I’ll —”
“How’s A. —” Kate broke off as Rio did. “You first.”
“My throat’s a little dry. I think I’ll take that drink after all.”
She sprang to her feet. “Oh. Sure. I have water, tea or soda.”
“Water is fine.”
Kate hurried to the kitchen and prepared a tall glass of water from the fancy fridge that came with the bungalow. She turned to see Rio standing in the doorway and held out the glass.
He took two sips and set it aside. “This is awkward, isn’t it? Maybe I shouldn’t have come here, but ...”
“Why are you here, Rio?” She didn’t want to speculate as to the reason. She probably never should’ve invited him in, but she was tired of always doing the right thing, the sensible thing.
He stared at the glass of water for a few seconds, then moved to take her hands so suddenly Kate was caught off guard. “I miss you, Kate. More than I ever thought it was possible to miss someone.”
“Why are you doing this?” Her heart cracked wide open at the anguish in his smoky gray eyes. She wrenched her hands away and stumbled backward until she encountered cabinets.
“God, Kate. The look on your face. You feel it too.”
There was a stewpot full of emotions inside her, but she seized on anger as a defense. “Feel what, Rio? Confusion? Yes. Annoyance? Definitely. I’ve tried repeatedly to end our association, but you’re like a banged-up penny. This is getting tedious.”
He took a step toward her, but stopped. “Yeah? Well, you’re really cute and appealing when you get all defensive, but you forget how well I know you, Kate. I see through the posturing. You’ve got a big heart. Throw you in a group and you’ll surface as the mama bear, the caretaker every time. It’s what you are, babe.”
Aw, man, she loved it when he called her babe in that growly, “Damn, y
ou’re hot” tone. He’d called her that several times while they were making love. Was he deliberately trying to manipulate her by using the endearment? If so, it was working. She took a fortifying breath and dug deep to find her stubborn streak. “No. I’m an independent woman starting college later than usual. I’m athletic and tough with a stubborn streak a mile wide. More importantly, I’m committed to the course I’ve chosen.”
“Yes. You’re all those things, plus beautiful and fit and sexy. I see all of it, babe. And you know what, my sweet, tough, dependable Kate?” He moved in closer, stroking the backs of her arms.
“Geez, Rio.” It took everything she had to roll her eyes and feign indifference, but she shouldn’t have bothered. She could tell from the warm light in his eyes, he wasn’t buying. “I can’t imagine what insights you’ve discovered this time.”
“I think maybe you can imagine. I think you’re running scared, not because you don’t want to hear it, but because you do.” He was all up in her personal space now, crowding her, taunting her, his hands hemming her in.
A pulse jumped in her neck so forcefully she could hear it. She leaned back, but he just angled forward. “I don’t know what we’re even talking about, and I don’t like this side of you, Rio. For the record, this masterful act isn’t attractive.”
“It’s no act. I’m actually feeling very in control and, yeah, masterful. That’s a good word for it, and it’s all your fault.”
This was so frustrating. What was he talking about? “I fail to see —”
“You came to my room. You came to me. It took me awhile to see the significance in that. I’d backed off, just like you wanted. Wasn’t happy about it, but it was your choice. Then, for whatever reason, there you were loving me and demanding love from me.”
Eyes welling with emotion, Kate turned her head away. He was wrong. Just plain wrong. She didn’t want to hear this at all.
Rio took her jaw in hand and forced her face back around. “Look at me, Kate. Pay attention, because you got what you wanted.”
“Just stop it.” Twin tears trailed down her cheeks and she whisked them away. “I was there. I know what happened.”
“Maybe, but not everything was revealed. I thought you should have all the facts before you shut the door on us. So, what I came here to tell you is this. I love you, Kate.”
Her brain stalled. Her lungs continued to fill and empty, her heart continued to beat — although somewhat erratically — and Kate could still see, smell, hear and taste. But her world was off-kilter once again, her equilibrium skewed.
She barely registered his face coming closer, his fingers tilting her chin up for a kiss that fried what gray cells were still feebly functioning inside her head.
He ended the kiss and stepped away from her, taking his warmth with him. “So now you know. I love you, more than I thought possible, but A.J. and I are a prepackaged deal. If you want us, you know where to find us. If not ...” He raised his hands in a gesture of surrender. “I’m out of your life. If you don’t contact me, I’ll know you don’t feel the same and accept your decision. But if you want me — us — come prepared to be mine for keeps. Ball’s in your court, babe.”
And on that note he turned and walked out of her kitchen, crossed the living room and left her standing there, stunned and so filled with loss she couldn’t move.
Long after the sound of his engine had faded in the distance, life came back into her limbs and she stumbled to the sofa. Rio’s confession of love kept replaying in her head. Only now he was gone, and the only thing she had left were his gifts. No way was she waiting until Christmas day to see what he’d thought important enough to bring to her door. Her fingers shook as she untied the ribbons and tore through the merry paper.
One by one, the gifts were revealed. A laptop. A fancy multiuse printer. Several packages of software that included security and everything she could possibly need to complete any homework assignment. There was even a wireless device that allowed her to connect to the internet from anywhere, along with other bells and whistles she’d have to read about and examine later.
It seemed Rio hadn’t forgotten anything. Even ink cartridges and paper were among the extras loaded into one box. On top of the miscellaneous items lay two business sized envelopes with her name on it. The first carried the logo of a big name in office supplies. Kate opened it first and discovered the gift receipts and a generously loaded store card for future supplies.
She’d ripped through the wrapping paper, tossing it this way and that, leaving her living room looking like Christmas had just barfed in it, but she didn’t care. Kate stilled over the one thing left unopened, the plain envelope bearing her name in Rio’s sprawling penmanship. Something told her that of all the items here, this unpretentious, less-than-impressive offering was the most important.
She turned it over. Sealed. Not tucked in like she would expect for something not mailed, but sealed and thin. Not a card, then, but something personal he’d written especially for her.
I love you, Kate.
The words leapt into her heart along with a whole hallelujah chorus. She pressed the envelope to her chest and took a deep, shuddering breath as if she’d been in some kind of static cocoon, released by Rio’s confession. Oh, my. It was too much. Inside she was young and carefree, yelling “ohmigod” in rapid succession. She was ... happy.
A moment like this deserved a little setup, so Kate took the envelope into the kitchen and prepared a steaming cup of cocoa, complete with mini-mallows, just like she’d shared with Rio time and again. With memories of him playing in her head and heart, she broke the seal and opened the single sheet of paper.
You are invited to join a celebration
of family,
with all associated trials, joys and responsibilities.
December 25th, Hawthorne House
Should you accept,
come prepared to love and be loved
forever.
Responsibilities. A clever reminder of the gravity of her decision. Rio could have used the space to plead his case or to remind her that she could have him and an education too. But he hadn’t. He’d chosen to open himself up to hurt, reminded her that choosing him would mean accepting the very thing she’d been trying to escape, then he’d given her time and space to make a decision.
In her heart, she knew how she would respond to the invitation, but she had a few tasks to accomplish first.
* * * * *
On Christmas morning, Kate drove her little hybrid to Denver, into the Cherry Creek section, through the open gates at Hawthorne House and parked. She was so nervous, she’d had to stop twice to pee, though the trip was little more than an hour’s drive.
Okay, this was it. Either the best or worst day of her life. Gathering her thoughts and mentally running through the lines she’d prepared, she busied the fingers of both hands on the steering wheel in a surreal déjà vu. Using all eight fingers, then switching to indexes only, she repeated a steady beat. Drum-drum-drum-tap-tap-tap-tap. Drum-drum-drum-tap-tap-tap-tap.
She stopped abruptly and gripped the wheel. Had someone ruffled the drapes in the living room? Okay, okay. She had to face the music, no matter what tune was playing.
Only then did she realize Zach’s ancient, but lovingly tended to Accord occupied the space directly in front of her. Oh, man. If he was here, it was likely Dean was with him. Looked like she’d have an audience, for Margaret was presumably here too. No pressure, though. Just family. Taking a deep breath, she opened the door.
Her feet had barely touched ground when Rio stepped through the front door and shut it behind him. He waited as she approached, his eyes drinking her in. “You got the invitation?”
“I got the invitation. And your message,” she assured him, realizing he was as apprehensive about this as she’d been. It was weird, but now that she was here, she felt an uncharacteristic shyness around him.
He nodded, his throat bobbing. “And you’re here.”
�
�I’m here.” Shaking, she closed the gap between them and circled his waist in a loose hug. “It’s cold out here.”
He cocked his head toward the door. “It’s crowded in there.”
“You need a coat.”
“Doesn’t seem to be helping you.” He wrapped his arms around her and for a moment they just soaked each other in.
“It’s nerves,” she confessed resting her forehead on his shoulder. “All the way here, I kept thinking, what if he’s changed his mind, what if —”
“I haven’t.”
She raised her face and saw he meant it. “Oh. Rio, I love you so much it hurts.”
“Thank God.” Rio lifted her off the ground and spun her around and around, then kissed her soundly.
One kiss became two, then three and Kate quit counting, her world filled with nothing but Rio until applause and whistles interrupted the perfect moment. The doorway was filled with approval in the guise of Dean, Zach and a beaming Margaret, who held A.J.
She motioned them forward. “Come inside, you two. It’s freezing out there. Besides, we’ve got presents to open and a celebration to get underway.”
Arm in arm, they stepped inside and were promptly broken apart by greetings of handshakes and hugs as if they’d both been away for some time.
“Have some manners, Zach. Help Kate out of her coat and hang it up in the closet down the hall.” Margaret patted Zach’s shoulder as if she’d been instructing him all his life.
Kate caught the quirk of Zach’s lips and relaxed. Margaret hadn’t exaggerated about the celebration. Kate could smell ham cooking and there were trays of appetizers and sweet treats on the various end tables.
A glorious, fully gilded tree held a place of prominence in one corner and rose to within inches of the high ceiling. A pile of presents jockeyed for space beneath its limbs, but Kate’s attention was drawn back to A.J., currently being passed from Margaret to Rio.
Her heart leapt with excitement as she held out her arms. “Do you mind?”
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