Meadowlarks

by Ashley Christine

  Didn't she hear me? I think I just told her I loved her, and she wants to know about the ramblings of an insane drunk woman? I inhale and figure now is as good of a time as ever.

  I hold my breath and look out the windshield at the brick wall in front of the car. “My mother died having me, and my father has always resented me for it.” I can feel my skin going cold and my heartbeat slowing. “When I turned eighteen, he figured I could handle it on my own and left me at the ranch alone. He's always been...distant.”

  There. It's out, but I still can't breathe, and she doesn't say a single word. I have never actually said the words out loud; everyone in my life already knew anyway, so this was a lot harder than I thought.

  It overwhelms me, and I need to get out of the car. I open the door and step out into the cool air of the May night. I run my hands through my hair a few times and then slowly down my face. I'm exhausted; this has been the longest day of my life, and I just want it to be over.

  Her door shuts, and she walks over to me. She hasn't said anything since she asked that question. She just takes my hand and motions me to follow her. Walking towards my truck, she stops and puts my hand on her cheek. “Take me to your house, please.”

  I think I'm too tired to drive. “Addison,” I say, handing her the keys, “can you drive?”

  She looks surprised but takes them, and we get in. I feel so emotionally drained that I don't even mind when she stalls the truck backing it out of the parking space. Twice.

  I am a little embarrassed that I'm acting like I've lost it and should be in a padded room somewhere secure.

  “I'm sorry, Blaine. I had no idea.” Her soft voice snaps me out of it, and I clear my throat.

  “I'm sorry, too. I have never told that to anyone before.” I reach to hold her hand and she takes mine and kisses it.

  “Never told anyone what happened to your mom? Or never told a woman that you loved her?” She has the smallest smile in the corner of her beautiful mouth.

  “Both,” I say and exhale, as I feel I've held my breath that entire time.

  At home my mood lifts a bit when Rex greets us happily at the door, like he's excited we're both here. I know I am.

  Upstairs we stand by the end of my bed and she slowly undresses me, button by button, unbuckling my belt and then my jeans. I'm left in only my boxers and socks, and she starts to slide the straps of her dress off. I take her hands and put them down at her sides. I want to do this.

  My hands slowly pull her dress down, exposing her breasts and lace bra. I can see through the lace, and I lean down to kiss the top of each breast. By the time the dress reaches her waist, I let go, and it falls to the floor, a light blue pool at her feet.

  She’s wearing matching lace panties to go with the bra. I sweep her up into my arms, and she pulls her hair band out, letting it fall over my shoulder and all around.

  As gently as I can, I lay her on the bed and climb on top of her. We haven't spoken since we were in the truck. It makes this moment feel a million times more concentrated, and even though my body wants to rush, I'm holding on to every second as long as I can.

  “Blaine, I love you, too,” she whispers in my ear, tenderly sucking on my earlobe.

  “I know,” I whisper back and kiss her neck, her throat, her chest and belly. All the anticipation from today, the drama from tonight and the painful admission just a little while ago has turned into Mount Vesuvius. The moment I enter her, I'm ready to explode, but I don't, forcing myself not to be selfish and give her everything I have.

  I love her. I want to spend the rest of my life loving her. I only want to smell her sweet scent and taste her sweet lips and kiss her soft skin.

  She starts to move faster under me as she's getting close to hitting her peak. She's breathing heavily, and her mouth is open; her head is turned to the side. I put my arms on either side of her head so I'm holding myself up with my elbows, and she kisses my wrist. I erupt and bury my head into her neck and hair.

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  It's Tuesday morning when Addison starts her first nursing shift. We used Sunday and Monday to recover from the events after my dad's 70. I haven't spoken much to Jeremiah, other than to give him the last two days off. I know it's not his fault Gwen acted like she did, but I don't want to get into it with him over her, not right now. I need to recoup from everything and start feeling normal again.

  Addison's wearing light pink scrubs, her hair pulled back into a pony tail and the sight of her makes me excited.

  “What are you staring at?” She elbows me as she walks by to grab a bottle of water out of the fridge.

  “Clothes that are about to be on the floor if you don't get out that door, little miss.” I cross my arms and give her a sexy glare. I'm not even close to kidding, and she knows it.

  “Don't work too hard today. I'll call you on my break to let you know how it's going.” Picking up her purse from the island, she waves goodbye quickly and is gone.

  Alex shows up promptly at eight AM, driving Addison's Mustang. I took her home yesterday to pick up clothes for work and her car.

  “How's it going, Blaine?” He shuts the car door and shakes my extended hand.

  “Good, Alex. How'd you get her to lend you her car?” I ask quizzically.

  “Well, if it wasn't for this job, she wouldn't have. And she made me vow to be here on time.” He looks around. “So…what do you have planned for me today?” He kicks the dirt with his boot, and I'm impressed to see he's actually prepared for work.

  I explain my plan for today—cleaning out the stalls in the barn, all twelve of them, fixing the hinge on one of the doors and splitting some firewood. He looks like he's ready to dart back into the car and speed off.

  But instead he quickly rubs his hands together like he's trying to start a fire. “Let's get started!” He's eager, and we get to work. Alex is a very talkative guy, which I don't mind, considering he doesn't stop moving while he's yapping.

  He talks a bit about how boring Wyoming is and Maine, aside from the scenery, wasn't all that exciting either. Some girls he dated in high school were mentioned, as well as his heavy partying in college which lead to him flunking out and ended up here. I smile and nod at most things he talks about; he's not his usual cocky self, and it's a nice change. I only stop moving when he brings up his sister, and I realize I wasn't paying attention until I hear her name.

  “So Addy ditched that fucker and moved here,” he says.

  “Sorry,” I say and shake my head. “What?”

  “The guy, Jacob?” He's not sure what part I've missed. “Her ex?”

  He’s still trying to get me to clue in, but I'm blank. “Ah, don't worry about it. Just some asshole back home.” He waves his hand in the air and goes back to spreading out a bale of fresh hay with a rake.

  “What did he do to her?” I don't continue what I was doing; I want to know, and I feel like a dick for not listening in the first place.

  “Well,” he says, moving hay around, “he pretended to give her some nice life. Then cheated on her with one of Addy’s friends, in Addy's bed. She caught them, and he beat the shit out of her for coming home early.”

  What the fuck did he just say?

  I flush, from surprise, from anger—no, pure rage. I can't imagine someone putting their hands on her, and the image makes me sick to my stomach.

  “Holy shit, Alex. What did he do to her? Is he in jail?” I'm livid.

  “Gave her a black eye, bruises everywhere...” He goes quiet, closing his eyes like he's picturing her beaten body. “She was in the hospital for days. Our mom never left her side.”

  My feet are starting to grow roots, I'm sure; I still haven’t moved except to pick my mouth up off the ground.

  “And what about the guy?” I ask.

  “He got probation. The slut he cheated with said Addy attacked them, and he came to their defence. She got a restraining order against him, but it wasn't enough. He still tried to see her, so...” he trails off, lookin
g around. “Green Acres is hopefully far enough away.”

  I'm reeling. I want to hop on a flight to Maine and show this guy, Jacob, how it feels to end up in a hospital bed. I comb my hands through my hair and flash to Saturday night when Addison stood in the doorway silently watching Gwen unravel.

  It all makes sense…the look in her eyes, the emptiness and the fact that she didn't say or do anything. She was afraid to; was she afraid of me? I shudder at the thought, and I could crawl out of my own skin.

  “I can't believe she didn't tell me. That motherf—” I put my hands on my hips and stare down at the wheelbarrow full of hay.

  “Do you really blame her?” Alex asks. “How would she?” He exhales. “'Oh hi, nice to meet you. Please be good to me because my last boyfriend put me in the ICU.' Come on, man.”

  He shrugs, and I understand why she didn't.

  We don't talk about it again, and I let out all my anger and aggressively wield the axe to chop firewood. We take load after load in the side-by-side and, by 4:30, we have accumulated a nice sized pile.

  “Good work today, Alex,” I say, trying to catch my breath as we load the last of the wood. “Addison is coming home for dinner; you're more than welcome to stay as well. I was planning on barbequing some—”

  Suddenly, Alex cuts me off. “Addison is coming home?”

  I smirk when I realize what I had said. But, actually, it sounds really nice, and she's here enough that it could be—home, that is. But since we've only actually known each other less than two weeks, it seems a tad rushed.

  “You know what I mean.” I toss a chunk of bark at him. “Get in; you can drive back to the house.” The sun is still blazing, but it's not too hot. It's about sixty-five degrees, and I wish the weather would always be this nice. It makes hard work outdoors not seem as gruelling anyway.

  “Where's the other guy that's usually here? Your friend Jeremiah?” Alex turns a corner sharply.

  “Whoa!” we both exclaim at the same time.

  “He's off today,” I answer. “You'll work together tomorrow.”

  I really should call Jeremiah, maybe even go to his house to see him. There's never been more than a day of silence between us, and who knows what the Pantry Predator has been filling his head with. I chuckle to myself, amused at my new nickname for Gwen, even though I know I won't ever say it out loud.

  Does this mean we won't have those nights at The Wolfbarrow anymore? Just sitting, eating ribs, watching whatever is on the flat screen, without any drama at all? I really hope not; it's almost a tradition with Jer, and I'm not ready to let it die.

  “Addison asked me to come and pick her up,” Alex says, holding his cell phone up and then shoving it into his back pocket.

  “You want me to? We can take the truck.” I nod towards the garage.

  “Hell, yeah! Let's go!”

  We jump in and head toward the hospital.

  She's standing outside of the main entrance, and with her is an older woman, also in nursing scrubs, but she’s wearing a white triangle-shaped hat, like nurses years ago used to. The other woman is smoking a cigarette and puts it out in a tall metal canister once we pull up to the curb.

  “Hey!” Alex leans out the window, smacking his hands on the door.

  She says something to the other nurse, who smiles and heads back inside. “I didn't expect you to come get me, Blaine!”

  I'm a little hurt; did she not want me to? After all, she sent Alex the text to pick her up, not me.

  “We are done for the day, and I need to go to Lander's for a few things anyway.” I try and make an excuse, even though neither of those things are the reason why I'm sitting here idling in front of the hospital.

  “Are you going to make me sit in the back?” She reaches in the window and punches Alex's arm with a huge grin on her face.

  “Alright, alright.” He gets out to let her in.

  “Hey, handsome.” She pulls her bag off her shoulder and slides into the center to kiss my cheek. I guess she is happy to see me; I tell myself to stop over-analyzing things.

  “So? How did it go?” I pull out onto the street and head toward the grocery store. She tells us how the morning started slowly, but then there was a small accident on the interstate that kept her busy the rest of the day.

  “No one was seriously hurt, thankfully. Just bumps and bruises, one broken leg.” She's talking so fast, and I'm happy she's had a good day, but listening to her speak about bruises makes me think of her bruised and battered. I reach across the seat to hold her hand.

  Alex stays for dinner. I barbeque some chicken, roast zucchini, carrots and asparagus, and we sit outside at the picnic table, enjoying the last of the day. The sun sets, and Addison insists on clearing the table. She pushes me back down with her hands on my shoulders and kisses the side of my neck.

  “You two worked hard today. Please let me take the dishes in.”

  How can I resist those lips and that sweet voice?

  “I'm gonna get going. I have...a date.” Alex holds his phone in his hand and smirks.

  “You need a ride back into town?” I offer. I don’t really want to, but it would give Addison and I some alone time.

  “Ummm...” he says, leaning back and taking a swig of his beer. “Addy! Can I borrow the car?”

  She answers him from inside the kitchen. “For what?”

  Rolling his eyes, he chugs the last from the bottle and stands up, burping.

  “To go back to town. Or are you planning on coming home tonight?” He heads into the house, and I stay sitting at the picnic table, taking a drink of my own beer.

  I can hear them talking quietly, and I try not to eavesdrop. Okay, I lie. If I could possess bionic ears I would, but I’m only able to make out some words like “Drinking. Driving. Excuses. Maine. Becca.”

  Becca? I wonder who she is.

  They come back outside, Addison in front of him, looking irritated but smiling at me.

  “Blaine, it was a pretty cool day. Thanks.” Alex extends his hand to shake mine, and when we're done, he pulls away to scruff the top of Addison’s head with his hand. She ducks out of the way and slaps at his chest with her hand.

  “Get going before I change my mind!”

  They both laugh, and with a wave, he's gone.

  “Whatever are we going to do now?” She climbs on to the picnic table, sitting right in front of me. I’m between her legs as she holds my face to kiss me. “You're too much; you know that, right?”

  Our lips lock, fervently, lapping tongues together. I've needed this all day.

  “You've been so quiet; are you okay?” she asks me.

  I guess I have been pretty quiet, but you have to be when Alex spends most of the time doing all the talking. Also, I've learned so much today; I'm still flipping through note cards in my head.

  Daylight is slowly fading, only the last of the sun is left, a warm copper line touching the tops of the trees in the distance. I put my index fingers in the waistband of her light pink scrubs, running them along her hips. I look up at her and slowly run my tongue along my bottom lip. We don't say anything, but I know it's okay to continue when she lifts her behind up a little, and I slowly pull the pants down, revealing white cotton panties and her beautiful bare legs.

  I take off each of her shoes and toss the pants on the ground beside them. Running my hands up and down her legs, like a man clinking his knife and fork together, bib around his neck, ready to devour a delicious meal. Slowly spreading her legs wider, I kiss and nibble the insides of each soft thigh.

  She leans back and breathes heavily, while I have my dessert, right there on the picnic table. When she stops crying out with wonderful ache, I lift my head just as the last of the suns trail on the trees are gone. We're in complete darkness now.

  “I missed you.” I kiss down her thigh, then pull her down to me so she's sitting on my lap, wrapped in my arms.

  * * *

  “What's Maine like?” I ask, coyly. I really want to come righ
t out and tell her I know what that guy did to her, but I don't want to ruin this beautiful moment.

  “It's beautiful. My parents live in Bangor, not too far from the ocean,” she says with her eyes closed, as if she is envisioning her old home. She looks so happy, I decide not to pry into anything else about the place. But she continues...

  “It just got old. Some of the people I was surrounding myself weren't who I thought they were, and I knew if I wanted a better life, I had to leave.”

  Should I ask? Is she going to keep going?

  “I still talk to my girlfriends; the ones I was closest with in high school are great women. I miss them very much.” She frowns a little.

  “My best friend Riley is hilarious,” she says, giggling. “That girl will do anything! She's fearless and has always been there for me.” She turns to lay on her back, looking up at wooden beams supporting the white ceiling.

  “She got pregnant near the end of high school and has a son, Isaac. He's eight now. Cutest kid ever.” She beams, and I smile because—well, because she is.

  “That must have been hard, having a baby so young.” I kiss her naked shoulder.

  “Yeah, it was at first. Her parents flipped out at the time, but as soon as that baby boy was born, it was like they couldn't have been happier.”

  “Do you want kids?”

  “Well, at one time, I thought I did. But thankfully the person was wrong for me, and I'm happy not to be tied to him in any way.”

  She's got to be talking about Jacob, the cheating woman-beater. I scowl at the thought of him.

  “I think we all have one or two of those in our past.” I try to lighten the conversation, really regretting asking about Maine in the first place.

  “I know Alex told you about Jacob and Becca.” She turns back onto her side and stares at me. “He told me when we were in the kitchen. I wish he didn't...” She covers face with her hands and sighs deeply.

  “Why wouldn't you want me to know? I thought all the blood drained out of my body when he told me.” I pull her into me. “I can't believe someone hurt you, Addy.”

  She starts to sniffle—she's crying.