Meadowlarks

by Ashley Christine

  My heart stops, and I freeze. It's her; it’s Addy. She smiles and walks right into his arms, embracing him. I don't know whether I want to rip the steering wheel off, or puke. I'm gripping it tightly enough that my knuckles are going white, and I feel sick to my stomach.

  I swallow the bile that's starting to rise in my throat. They're talking now, but I can't hear what they're saying. He hugs her again, and I feel the top of my head blow off, steam filling the interior of her new car. I slowly get out of the car and shut the door. I don't say anything, but she sees me coming over his shoulder.

  “Blaine! Hey, baby!”

  I am deaf. I have tunnel vision, and I don't even see her anymore.

  Reid sees me. “Oh, hey man. How's—”

  One punch, and I knock him on his fucking ass. I'm heated, and seething.

  “Blaine! Oh, my God!”

  Now I see her; she's at his side, helping him sit up. He touches his mouth and sees the blood on his fingers.

  In a small and brief moment of clarity, I hold up the black key fob and click the lock button. It sounds the horn on the Taurus, and she looks over at it.

  “This is for you,” I say, my voice clipped and fuelled with anger. I toss the key down onto the black pavement and start walking away. I can hear her calling for me, but I keep going. I know my truck is parked here somewhere, but I’m so fucking angry that I can’t see straight enough to drive. The only thing powering me is my rage and complete despondency.

  I wouldn't believe it if someone told me it was going to happen, but seemingly out of nowhere, that same Chevy with the two blondes from earlier pulls up beside me.

  “Hey, cowboy! Where you off to?” The curly haired passenger smiles at me and pops the pink gum in her glossy-lipped mouth.

  “Blaine!” I can still hear Addison calling me—which means she hasn't left his side, because she's definitely not standing beside mine right now.

  “The Wolfbarrow. On Blair Street,” I answer the girls. “Want to take me?” I raise a salacious brow and, without a word, the blonde opens the door. I slide in beside her and don't give the parking lot of the hospital another look.

  They're both asking me a million questions on the ten-minute drive: who I am, where I live, who the other two guys were in the truck I was in earlier, why I was walking down the sidewalk. They’re the usual questions, but they’re all compacted into one bubblegum-enhanced sentence. I regret my decision to get in the truck with them about three minutes down the road when a song comes on the radio about saving horses and riding cowboys. They both scream that “this is their jam!”, and I have to look out the window and laugh; I think if I did it in their faces, they might just cry.

  At The Wolfbarrow, they park next to Jeremiah's truck.

  “Shall we, ladies?” I motion my hand to the front door, and they both beam.

  Hell, it's only three-forty in the afternoon, and I've just had my heart broken, so why not get drunk with my two best friends and two random girls that just picked me up off the side of the road?

  Inside, I order us some drinks. “Jess! Three shots of J.D. for me and these two lovely ladies.” I snap my fingers, feeling like an ass, and as shocked as Jesse looks, he still grabs a bottle and starts pouring.

  I don't even have to introduce the girls; Jer and Alex know exactly who they are.

  “Boys, this is...” I trail off after I realize I have no clue what their names are. Oops.

  “Jennifer!” the driver blurts out. She holds out her hand, and Jer kisses it.

  “I'm Madison!”

  Hearing the other girl’s name almost makes my knees buckle.

  Alex half glares at me and half smiles at her. “Hi there, Madison.” He enunciates her name and grins. “That was some nice driving today, girls.”

  They both giggle.

  “Can you excuse us for a sec?” Madison asks, and they hold hands, bouncing into the bathroom.

  “Don't.” I hold my hand up to Alex, his mouth open and ready to start the interrogation. “Let's start this bachelor party now, shall we?” I grab a shot glass off the tray in Jesse's hand before he can even place them down on the table. I sling it back and wince as it burns its way down my throat.

  “Blackstock. You okay buddy?” Jesse pats my shoulder and looks questionably at Jeremiah and Alex for an answer as to why I've just walked in snapping my fingers, with two blondes on my arm.

  “I'm all good, Jess. Thank you.” I tip the other shot glass at him and slug it back, quickly followed by the third. “Five more, please.” He doesn't question me and goes back to the bar.

  “Listen, I don't want to hear anything from either of you,” I tell the boys. “You were all excited about this night; let's get it going now!” I slap the table with my hands, looking back and forth between the astonished eyes staring at me.

  “Blaine...”

  “Nope, Jer. Don't even ask.” I hold my hand up again.

  Alex pulls his phone out of his jeans pocket and narrows his eyes at me.

  “What?”

  “Addy said you punched a guy she works with? What the fuck, man?”

  “Did she happen to mention that he was all over her before I punched him?” I clear my throat and puff my chest out like I'm ready to take a hit. I know I elaborated a tad about the details, but I don't correct myself.

  “Buddy...Damn.” Jer refills his glass of beer from the pitcher on the table.

  Alex holds his phone up to me. “She wants to talk to you.”

  My good friend Jack Daniels is surging through me, and my head is screaming at me not to take the phone from his hand and talk to her. But my heart—what's left of it, anyway—gives my head the double middle finger.

  I grab the phone and walk away from the table, just in time for the blondes, Jennifer and Madison, to return from powdering their noses or whatever.

  “Hello.” I sicken myself at how cold I sound.

  “Blaine, what's going on?”

  “I hope you like your car. I'm going out with the boys.”

  She's quiet for a few seconds, and I'm not sure if it's the loud music in the bar or if I even really hear her crying.

  “I know you are. And I love the car; thank you.” She inhales deeply. “Please be careful, and come home safely. Okay?”

  I fight the urge to mutter a sarcastic remark about her calling it 'home', but I don't. I am already acting like the biggest dick on earth.

  “Addy, I—” I breathe and pound my fist down on a table beside me. I don't say anything else, just hang up the phone and toss it back at Alex. “Let's get this started, yes?” I take a shot and slam the glass down on the table. I hear a familiar voice from behind me, and when I turn around, Gwen is staring at me with a look I've definitely seen before.

  “Hey, Jeremiah, Alex. Blaine. How are you?” She looks me up and down, and for the first time in my life, I actually feel myself give in to her sexuality.

  “Gwen, how are you?” I ask, pulling my belt buckle down a little with my hand, the same buckle Addison gave me for my birthday. Her eyes travel down my chest and to my buckle—or around the area, anyway.

  “Jer! It's so good to see you again.” She snaps out of her daze and almost jumps in his lap, completely ignoring Jennifer and Madison standing there. She's trying to get me jealous like she's always done in the past.

  “Hey, baby.” He nuzzles her hair with his nose. Jennifer purses her lip and elbows Madison, who looks equally annoyed. “I've missed you. Hey, what are your plans tonight?”

  She looks at the ceiling momentarily and then smiles.

  “Nothing, why? What are we up to?” She's already included herself, it seems.

  “Well, it's Blaine's bachelor party.” He says it like he's almost questioning me, if he should still call it that or not.

  I nod and smile.

  “So we're taking him to Cody. We could use a DD.” He raises a brow, and she almost looks hurt.

  “Just using me for a chauffeur, huh?” Then she changes her tu
ne. “Well, it could be fun, I guess.” She winks at me, and I smirk right back.

  I've forgotten that Alex has been sitting here witnessing all of this, and I feel embarrassed. I look at him, and he shrugs.

  “Whatever, bro.”

  Is that him saying it's okay? Or that he doesn't care what I do because his sister is done with me? I hand him a shot and pick up one for myself.

  “To tonight!” We clink our tiny glasses, and I finally get a smile out of him.

  “To Cody!” We all cheer, but I feel like I want to crawl into a dark hole and die.

  I think I nod off and on during the drive to Cody. I'm sitting in the front with Jeremiah driving, and Gwen sandwiched between us in the middle. Alex is sitting between his blonde playthings in the back.

  “Blaine?” Gwen nudges my arm, but I have my head turned, and I close my eyes pretending to be sleeping.

  “Leave him. He'll need to re-energize for tonight!” Jer taps the steering wheel just like he did during the test drive of this very same truck.

  I feel my phone vibrating and adjust myself to pull it from my pocket. I swipe the screen with my finger and see three text messages from Addison.

  You hung up on me?

  I love you so much. Please, baby. Answer me.

  I won't bother you for the rest of the night. Just come home to me.

  I shove it back in my pocket just as Gwen starts to bounce in her seat.

  “Welcome to Cody, ladies and gents!” She turns around, and all three girls squeal at the same time, deafening me.

  I wince and shoot Jer a “What are we doing?” look; he just smiles and shrugs.

  Jer's GPS instructs him to drive eight miles and turn left, then another three miles and turn right. We reach our destination and pull into the parking lot of huge of a building with 5 O'CLOCK SOMEWHERE displayed in big blue neon block letters.

  I gape.

  “Blaine Blackstock, are you ready?” Jer smacks my knee with his hand, and I grin. “Let's go ladies! And Alex…” He laughs.

  The bouncing blondes, Jennifer and Madison, aren't quiet one bit while they eye up every single guy wearing a cowboy hat or boots waiting in the line outside. Hell, I think someone with even a leather belt on would stand a chance of getting into their pants tonight.

  “Ladies, control yourselves!” Gwen snaps; like she's anyone to talk about self-control.

  Our wait in line doesn't take long at all, and we're in the bar within minutes. It's western-themed but overdone with all the strobe lights and spinning rainbow-colored balls that send streams of light all over. The bar is located in the center of the room; it's huge, with at least ten bartenders trying to fill the orders of at least a hundred thirsty patrons.

  I'm not a dancer, but the music is starting to make me want to move my body. I find myself nodding my head to the beat, and Jennifer grabs my arm.

  “Dance with me, handsome!”

  I stare wide-eyed at her, trying to get over that she just used the same term of endearment that Addison calls me.

  “Soon, darlin'. I need a drink first!” I smile and try not to hurt her feelings, but she pouts her glossy lips anyway. “What would you like?”

  She yells something, but it's so loud I can't hear. I feel hands on my shoulders from behind me. It's Alex.

  “This is a one-time thing, bro. What happens in Cody stays in Cody; got it?”

  I look at him quizzically.

  “Yeah, that's right.” He looks seriously at me. “You have a little fun, and then go home to my sister and explain yourself, okay?” He pushes me in the direction of the bar and orders us two shots of Jack Daniels each.

  The last time Alex and I drank this together at a bar, we had just beaten the crap out of that piece of shit, Jacob. The thought makes me smile as we clink our plastic shot cups of alcohol together, tip our heads back and let the poison stream down our throats.

  Gwen has managed to pull Jeremiah onto the big black dance floor. I have never seen him dance, and I have to admit that he's pretty hilarious. I don't know where he got some of those moves from, though; I tilt my head to the side and watch him hop on one foot while pulling his other bent leg back and forth. Gwen laughs and bounces with her hands around his neck. Why did she have to turn into such a crazy bitch? She makes him so happy.

  “Dance now?” Jennifer is back and pulling on my belt. Her cold fingers touch my skin and I flinch. Madison grabs Alex's hands, and they both pull us out onto the black sparkling tile.

  The song isn't country, but it's not bad, and I feel myself starting to move. Jennifer stands behind me, running her hands all over my chest and squeezing my pectorals. I grab her hands and pull her in front of me, pulling her body close to mine. She has one thigh between my legs and is grinding herself against me. My body responds, and I feel myself start to harden. Shit.

  I pull back, and she doesn't even notice. She keeps convulsing slowly to the rhythm. When she opens her eyes, she notices me and grabs me again.

  “Damn, cowboy. You're so hot!”

  I don't answer, just give her a small grin. It's enough to make her close her eyes and throw her arms around me, crushing me. The J.D. has taken over, and I feel totally out of control. My blood is sizzling, and my skin feels hot to the touch. She spins around and bends over, pushing her behind right into my groin. I unconsciously hold her hips and thrust. She squeals, and I bite my bottom lip, wanting to slam myself deep inside her, glossy lips, popping bubblegum and all. I'm disgusted with myself, but I'm too far gone to care.

  When I look up slowly from Jennifer's back, my eyes meet Gwen's, and they're blazing. She isn't dancing with Jeremiah anymore; I don't even see him around her. She walks through the crowd of people and grabs Jennifer's hands, pulling her away from me and not even giving her a second look.

  “Hey! Bitch...” I hear Jennifer whine, but she quickly finds another guy and starts grinding him instead.

  Gwen's eyes don't leave mine. The song changes to something slower and more sexual—rougher. She puts her hand on my chest and places one of mine on her lower back, her t-shirt is tied in a knot to the side so her stomach and back are bare.

  I can't make out all the words, but I can tell the song is about a guy getting hurt and taking out his fury on another girl by fucking her senseless—Only for tonight, the lyrics moan. It's enough to send me off the deep end, and I find my other hand deep in Gwen's hair, gripping tightly and pulling her face up to mine.

  We slowly move our bodies together, and I can feel her hot breath on my lips. Her eyes aren't blazing anymore; they're glistening, raw and wanting. I push hard against her, and either she's ready to burst from her longing, or my belt buckle hurt her. Both, I hope.

  I'm drunk, but I'm also sober enough to remember what she did to me in my bed last year. How she crept in like thief in the night and wrapped those pouty lips around me, and how she seductively wiped her mouth afterwards. I'm getting heated by looking at her hot mouth—until she opens it to speak.

  “Told you,” she breathes heavily.

  I lean in to her ear; my lips graze her skin. “Told me what?”

  Her hand runs down my chest and down into my jeans, gripping my growing erection. “Told you she wasn't good for you.” She squeezes me tightly, gazing with wide eyes.

  I blink and pull back. Her hand comes out of my jeans, and she looks surprised.

  “You...” I point at her, raise an eyebrow and ever-so-slowly lick my bottom lip. “Fuck you.”

  She groans and grabs me, holding herself against me again. “Exactly. That's right, Blackstock. I'm all yours.”

  Gwen is the epitome of why I've never had a relationship last. Anyone I've ever been with has been just like her. She's completely raw and sexual, which drives me crazy, but that's where it ends. Her eyes have never been passionate or emotional. She's empty.

  “I'm outta here.” I start to back up and stumble into a few people dancing. I hold my hand up to apologize, but I don't even think they notice me. I have to fi
nd Jeremiah. When I do find him, he's sitting in a booth with his arm around a pretty girl with jet black hair.

  “I’ve gotta go.” My voice sounds panicked.

  “You okay? What's up?”

  “I gotta go home, Jer.” I look at the ceiling, wanting to scream out at how disgusted I am with myself. I just want to be at home in my bed, with Addison.

  “Sit down and relax, buddy. We'll go home soon.” He lifts up his beer bottle and nods it at me. I sit down on the vinyl seat and put my head in my hands.

  “You need a drink!” the black haired girl shouts. I lift my head, and she's blurry.

  “I've got one right here!” It's Gwen. She's at the table with two drinks in her hands. She flops down beside me and hands me a pink drink in a martini glass. “Drink up, big boy!”

  Jeremiah doesn't seem bothered that she's even in the booth; he's in deep with the other girl.

  “Blaine is getting married soon. We need to show him what he's gonna be missing!” Gwen holds up her drink and elbows me. “Drink!”

  I inhale deeply, but I take the glass and pull the straw out, tossing it on the table. The glass is rimmed with green sugar crystals, and Gwen traces her finger along my glass and licks her finger off seductively.

  I toss back the drink in a few chugs. It's far too sweet, and I wonder if there's any alcohol in it at all. Alex and Madison join us at the booth. I have no clue where Jennifer is, and I don't really give a shit either.

  “Blaine, you look wrecked!” Alex laughs and points at me.

  I grin back. I'm starting to feel better, and now I don't want to go home just yet.

  The night turns into a blur—a blur of flashing lights and beams of color. I feel like I'm spinning in the booth, like I’m on one of those rides at a carnival that you spin around in by turning a large wheel in the center.

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  I remember Alex and Jeremiah helping me walk, though I’m not sure to where. I remember being in a cab and then an elevator. Now I feel like I'm laying on a carpet or some plush surface, and I'm falling into the black. The buzzing around me is deafening. I try to open my eyes, but I'm in a fog. I can't even move my body. The commotion is becoming more clearly now.