Clarity of Lines

by N. R. Walker

  Then Ryan yelled from the other room. “Oh my fucking God!” He then appeared at the door holding the box. His grin was huge. “You didn’t!”

  “I did,” I told him. “Direct from Japan. There are only a handful of them in the States until it’s released in the fall apparently, so it wasn’t exactly easy to get. Though it was Cooper’s idea. You can thank him.”

  Ryan threw one arm around Cooper, hugging him in a man-hug kind of way. “Thanks, man!”

  Cooper looked at him seriously, hopefully. “That means I can play too, right?”

  They disappeared back into the living room, and I was still smiling when Sofia walked in with more dirty plates.

  “Leave them,” I told her. “I’ll clean up.”

  She put them on the sink. “Your birthday gift was a hit.”

  “Yes well, he mentioned he wanted it to Cooper,” I told her as I filled the sink with hot water. “I wouldn’t have known otherwise.”

  “Ryan and Cooper are still friends?” she asked.

  “Yes, why wouldn’t they be?”

  She shook her head like I was missing the obvious.

  “Look, Sofia, I’m not going to argue with you about him,” I told her outright. “You offered for me to bring my partner, so I did. I’m not hiding anything anymore, Sofia. Would you prefer I lie to you? Would you prefer to find out from someone else?”

  She exhaled loudly, but didn’t answer. Instead, she picked up a dishtowel and started to dry the plates. It was like she wanted to say something, but kept stopping herself, and there was a heavy silence between us.

  When we’d finished dish-duty, Sofia seemed to be back to resigned. “I’m turning in for the night. See you in the morning,” she said, and without another word, she walked out.

  I finished tidying up, checked my emails, watched and laughed at Ryan and Cooper for a while as they played a game I couldn’t follow, but then told them I was heading to bed.

  I stripped down to my briefs, climbed into bed and closed my eyes. Not fifteen minutes later, warm hands slid around me and a familiar body pressed against me. Cooper whispered in my ear, “No sleep for you yet. I have somewhere else I need you to kiss better.”

  “Is that so?” I murmured.

  “Mm-mm,” he hummed. “But it’s inside me…about eight inches inside me. I’m sure you can reach it.”

  I laughed into the pillow before I rolled over to kiss him. “I’m sure I can.”

  * * * *

  Cooper and I woke early, and he decided we should take a walk along the beach, just the two of us, before our day was filled with other people.

  He didn’t have to say he wanted some time away from Sofia. I just understood. He held my hand as we walked. He was quiet, but he seemed happy. “I think we should have a swim when we get back to the house,” he told me. “Then we can have breakfast, have another swim and maybe a bit of a lie down before twenty of Ryan’s friends turn up.”

  I stopped walking on the beach and pulled Cooper against me. I stared at him for a long moment before slowly sliding my hand along his jaw and kissing him. He melted against me, into me, and when I slid my tongue into his mouth he moaned.

  When I finally pulled away from him, he looked dazed. And smug. “What was that for?”

  “A thank you,” I told him. “For being here with me. For putting up with my ex-wife for a weekend. It’s a lot to ask of you and I wanted you to know I’m grateful.”

  He took my hand and we started walking back to the house. “Well, you can show me how grateful you are by making me breakfast, and then how grateful you really are when we have a nap.”

  I was still smiling when we walked back up to the house, still holding hands. Sofia had already put out a spread of croissants and fruit on the back patio table. She and Ryan were there and while Ryan smiled at us, Sofia quickly made the offer of coffee and walked inside.

  She came back out a few minutes later with a tray of fresh coffee and some mugs, and to her credit, she did try to get along.

  After we’d eaten, Cooper declared it was time for a swim. He and Ryan left me sitting at the table and went to get changed, but then Cooper came back and put his hands on my shoulders. He leant down and spoke in my ear. “That includes you.”

  Sofia, who was picking a platter up off the table, cleared her throat. “You boys go and swim while I get things ready,” she said, though she was clearly uncomfortable with public displays of affection between us.

  I followed Cooper up the stairs and into our room. He was smiling, rather pleased with himself.

  “I don’t think Sofia appreciated you touching me,” I told him as I was getting changed into my swimming shorts.

  Cooper smiled. “That’s why I did it.”

  I tried not to smile. “Be nice. She’s trying to accept it. She’ll be fine with us, you’ll see.”

  He lifted one perfectly arched eyebrow. “Tom, are you blind?” he asked. “She’s jealous! She wants you back!”

  “No she doesn’t,” I replied quickly.

  “Babe, she looks at you all the time. I’m telling you, she wants you.”

  “I don’t want her,” I told him. I tied off my shorts and crossed the room to him. “I don’t want her. I don’t want to go back. I’ve never been happier than where I am right now, okay?”

  He nodded then his lips curled into a slow smile. “Why do you always know what to say?”

  “Years of experience.”

  Cooper sighed, then changing the subject, he scrubbed his fingers along my unshaven jaw. “You look hot with scruff.”

  “My scruff, as you call it, is all grey along here,” I admitted, rubbing my chin.

  Cooper’s hazel eyes scanned over my face. “And it’s sexy as fuck,” he said gruffly.

  “Come on,” I said, choosing to ignore his comment and dragging him towards the door. “If you keep looking at me like that, we’ll need to lock this bedroom door.”

  He laughed down the stairs. “I’m not opposed to that idea.”

  No, he never was.

  * * * *

  We swam in the pool for a while, and I caught Sofia watching us several times. I wondered if Cooper was right—whether Sofia did want me back. I mean, it had been five years. She’d dated other men, though none of them seriously.

  Not that it mattered. I mean, it would be unfortunate for her, but I was gay and I’d never been happier than I was with Cooper.

  He splashed me in the pool then wrapped his arms around me, not caring who saw. “I think we’re out of time for that little lie down we were going to have,” he said with a smile. “So you’ll have to make it up to me tonight. I might be drunk later on, but you have my full consent to have your way with me.”

  I laughed, but then Sofia called out from inside the house. “Tom? I need you and Ryan to move some tables for me.”

  Cooper smiled knowingly. “She does know you’re not married anymore, yes?”

  I kissed him, slow and open-mouthed, knowing Sofia could see. I pulled his bottom lip in between my lips, making him smile. “Yeah, I think she knows,” I told him. “Now we need to get out of this pool before we get too carried away.”

  So Cooper spent the next hour or so playing video games with Ryan while I moved tables and chairs, as per Sofia’s instructions.

  And it wasn’t long after that, that the first cars of Ryan’s friends started to arrive. Then the caterers turned up along with the wait-staff, so I told Cooper I was ducking upstairs to shower and change into something a little more appropriate. Of course he joined me, so it was maybe an hour later that we made it back downstairs.

  There was quite a crowd gathered, a few faces I recognised, a lot I didn’t. Cooper was right by my side when I stopped dead at some unexpected familiar faces.

  Fuck.

  My parents.

  Chapter Five

  “Oh, Tom,” my mother said warmly. She kissed my cheek. “So good to see you.”

  My father offered a handshake in greeting. “S
on.”

  “Mom, Dad, I didn’t know you’d be here,” I said, unable to hide my surprise.

  “Oh,” my mother said, “Sofia called us and asked us to come over.”

  Of course she had.

  My parents didn’t live too far from the Casa so it wasn’t too unreasonable that they be there. But still…they were my parents to invite, not hers.

  I turned to Cooper and whispered, “My parents. Fuck, I’m so sorry.”

  But he never missed a beat. He said a polite hello to them as though he was interrupting so he could ask me where Ryan was. There was a loud peal of laughter outside, to which Cooper looked. “Never mind, found him,” he said, and he disappeared outside.

  I sat with them a while. They told me it was so nice of me to come and spend time with Sofia. My mom told me she’d always hoped we’d reconcile then she smiled and patted my hand.

  Sofia was there. She saw it. And she saw how much I fucking hated it. If she thought for one deluded moment that this was some cruel trick to make me see how happy it would make my parents, then the look on my face must have set her fucking straight.

  Thankfully my parents were oblivious to me glaring at my ex-wife and equally oblivious to how I looked for Cooper through the glass doors.

  Sofia didn’t miss that either.

  My parents spent a quick ten minutes with Ryan, but wanted to leave before the crowd got drunk and loud. I saw them out, walking them to their car, and told them I’d be in touch. I promised to call them during the week, and I would.

  But as soon as they were heading down the drive, I went inside in search of Cooper. I found him through the crowd, drinking and laughing with some of his friends. I wasn’t sure if I should walk up to him, or just try to catch his eye. I didn’t know what his friends knew, or what they thought.

  But he looked around and when he saw me, he smiled and called me over. “Have they gone?” he said in front of his friends.

  “Yeah, I’m really sorry,” I told him. “I had no idea.”

  He slipped his arm around my waist, in front of his friends, in front of everyone. “It’s okay,” he said with a smile. Then he introduced me to his friends—who all knew I was Ryan’s father—as his boyfriend.

  They were all a little wide-eyed, but Cooper didn’t seem to care. He squeezed my waist reassuringly and smiled, just as Ryan walked over to my other side and put his arm around my shoulder.

  The four pairs of wide eyes in front of us then landed on Ryan, who simply raised his beer bottle at them. “Yep, I know they’re dating,” he said, then tapped his bottle to the closest guy. “I’m on empty, your turn to get the birthday boy a beer, asswad.”

  And that was the end of that conversation.

  By the quiet whispers and people looking at us, it didn’t take long for the word to pass around the party crowd that Cooper and I were together. The fact we stood there with his arm around my waist kind of confirmed it. He was so open, so out and proud, so blasé to what others thought. And even though he was half my age, he was twice as brave as me. I stood by his side with his arm around me as he chatted with his friends, amazed by his confidence and the conviction of who he was.

  As the night got later and as the music got louder, the more they drank, the more inclined I was to let him have a night with his friends. He was laughing and talking about college and people they knew, and every time I dropped my arm from around his waist to leave him to it, he’d tighten his hold on me.

  So I stayed.

  At least I avoided Sofia for the rest of the night. And at two in the morning, I helped carry a very-drunk Cooper up the stairs and put him to bed. He was a very giggly, hug-everyone kind of drunk, and when I finally got him undressed and in bed, he was all smiles and slurred words I couldn’t make out. It was kind of cute.

  His snoring wasn’t so likeable.

  Needless to say, I was up long before any of the bodies strewn across the house, so I decided to make a start on cleaning up. I had a few trash bags full of bottles and cans by the time Sofia ventured out. I still avoided her. I was still too mad at her, and she seemed equally pleased to avoid me.

  But one by one the party-goers woke up, drank coffee and went on their way. I fed both Cooper and Ryan coffee and greasy bacon rolls until they felt better, and by mid-morning they decided a cool swim would help with their hangovers.

  Unfortunately it left me alone with Sofia.

  “I think we need some coffee,” she said, walking to the coffee machine. “Want a cup?”

  “Sure,” I told her. “Why not.”

  She poured two coffees, handed me one and stood leaning against the kitchen counter. She was quiet for a while, so I asked her about her sisters and told her I liked the new pieces of furniture I’d seen around the Casa. She asked how my work was going, how Jennifer was and we talked about mutual friends.

  Then she said, “I’m sorry about asking your parents to come last night.” She even had the decency to look it.

  “You should be, Sofia. I’m sorry to say it like that, but it wasn’t your place to invite my parents.”

  “I thought they’d like to see Ryan for his birthday.”

  “And you thought you’d like to show Cooper that my parents don’t know what he is to me.”

  “That’s not what I meant to do.”

  “Yes, it is.”

  Conversation had never been a problem for us, though now it was very strained. There was a very obvious elephant in the room.

  Well, the metaphorical elephant who was taking a swim with Ryan.

  It was obvious she wanted to say something about him, but she wasn’t sure how to bring it up. Then there was a burst of laughter from the pool, Cooper’s laughter, and it made me smile.

  “You seem genuinely taken with him.”

  “I am.”

  “How did you meet?” she asked me quietly. “I mean, this time. How did you meet…again.”

  “Through Ryan initially,” I told her. “But then he had an internship at the office. That’s where I got to know him.”

  “You worked with him?”

  “Yes.”

  “But he doesn’t work with you now?”

  “No, he works for Arlington. He fits in better there. They’re young and innovative.”

  “And Brackett and Golding are an old prestigious classic,” she said. “How ironic.”

  I ignored the jibe.

  “He’s really very talented,” I told her. “He’ll go a long way.”

  Sofia nodded. “He will if he stays with you,” she said. “Riding on the coattails of the great Thomas Elkin will get him anywhere.”

  I put my coffee on the counter with a clunk, probably a little louder than I intended to. I tried to keep my voice down. “It’s not like that. That’s the very reason I told him to work somewhere else, so he wouldn’t be associated with me professionally. He’ll go far because he’s talented, Sofia, not because of who he’s with.”

  “Tom, forgive me for not understanding the connection between you,” she said with hard eyes. “But have you thought of the possibility he could be after your money?”

  Anger swelled in my chest, but I tampered it down. She was acting all concerned, but really she wanted to make me angry. She wanted to get a reaction out of me, so I refused to give her one.

  “He’s not after money, Sofia, and I find it offensive that you imply he is,” I said as calmly as I could manage.

  “How do you know, Tom?”

  “I know he’s not after my money because I asked him to move in with me, and he said no.”

  She stared at me for a long moment. “You asked him to move in with you?”

  “Yes,” I said with a smile of satisfaction. “And he turned me down.”

  “Well, at least one of you is thinking clearly.”

  “Oh, give it up, Sofia,” I said, turning to walk out.

  “You give it up Tom,” she said, stopping me. “It’s embarrassing. You’re making a fool of yourself.”

&
nbsp; “I don’t care, Sofia,” I told her. “I don’t care what you think, or what anyone else thinks. I care what Cooper thinks.”

  “I don’t get it,” she said, shaking her head. “I don’t understand what you could possibly have in common. He’s half your age!”

  “You wouldn’t understand, Sofia,” I said, probably too loudly. “He understands me. He gets me. The age difference doesn’t come into it at all. I’m sorry you don’t get it, but you don’t have to. What we have, is between Cooper and me, and no one else. It’s no one else’s fucking business.”

  Sofia opened her mouth to say something, but I’d heard enough.

  “I love him, Sofia,” I told her. It was the first time I’d said those words out loud. I’d thought them a hundred times, but never had the courage to say them, to admit them. “You and I won’t ever get back together, if that’s what you’re aiming for here. Beside the fact that I’m gay, Sofia, I am in love with Cooper. I love him.”

  Sofia paled as though my words had found their mark, but her eyes darted past me, over my shoulder. I followed her gaze, to see Cooper standing at the back patio doors, looking directly at me.

  He was still wet from the pool, shirtless with a beach towel wrapped around his waist. He blinked a few times before he walked inside.

  “Cooper,” Sofia said, but he put his hand up to stop her talking as he walked over to me.

  My heart was hammering, my stomach was in knots. He’d heard everything. He stood in front of me and shook his head. “Oh, Tom, you’ve done it again.”

  I could barely speak. “Done what?”

  “Gone and spoken to someone else about how you feel about me,” he said. His hair was wet and drops of water ran down his body, but he didn’t seem to care. He stared right at me. “Don’t you think that’s something you should have told me first?”

  I nodded quickly, petrified of what he might say.

  Cooper bit his lip and slowly shook his head. “First you tell Louisa that you want something more with me, and now you tell your ex-wife, of all people, that you love me?”

  “I keep getting it wrong. I should have told you.”

  Cooper looked over at Sofia, who was watching us with a look of dismay on her face, then he turned back to me and he smiled. She’d been blatantly horrible to him, and he wanted me to say this in front of Sofia. He wanted her to see that I was choosing him. “So tell me now.”