Dare to Stay

by Jen McLaughlin

  He spluttered. “You won’t allow it? I don’t know who you think you are, but I don’t take orders from you—or anyone.”

  “Shut up.” I pushed him again. “There’s another way. There’s always another way.”

  He shook his head again, still leaning on the wall. “No. There’s not. I have to do this.”

  I punched his chest as hard as I could. He didn’t even flinch. “You don’t have to die. You can help him without endangering yourself or throwing yourself into a bottomless pit. Do it in a way that doesn’t make you—”

  “The only other option is for me to run and leave Scotty to deal with this mess—the mess I fucking made—all by himself.” He lowered his face to mine, not giving me breathing room. “Should I betray the whole Donahue family? Let Lucas’s little brother die, after he let me live, and run out of town? Is that the right thing to do, Molly?”

  I shook my head, tears blurring my vision. “No!”

  “What do you suggest I do? Do you have some great idea for me?”

  “I—I—” I broke off, because I had nothing.

  “Exactly.” He slid his hand into my hair, cupping the back of my head tenderly, which was so at odds with our conversation that it brought tears to my eyes. “What should I do? Run? Stay? Fight? Hide? Live? Kill?”

  “I don’t know!” I cried out, a tear escaping, and gripped his shirt, shaking my head. “But you can’t just die. You don’t make them think you’re a cop and take the punishment that should have been another man’s. You can’t just—no.”

  Some of the anger left him, and he looked at me with resignation in his eyes. It was that resignation that scared me the most. Even more than his words. He dropped his forehead on mine. “I’ll do what must be done to make this right.”

  “Get out.” I let him go. “I refuse to watch you kill yourself. I won’t stand here when you set yourself up for a fall that isn’t yours out of guilt for something that you tried to do but failed. Lucas is alive, and your death isn’t an even trade.”

  His grip on me flexed. “It’s not that easy.”

  “Yeah. It is.” I shoved his shoulders again. “Go. Get out of here!”

  “But I—” For a second, just a second, agony showed on his face. He let me see the pain I caused him by pushing him away. He let me in. “All right. I’m gone.”

  I crossed my arms and tried to hold the tears back. “Good.”

  As he dropped his hold on me and stepped back, he swallowed hard, and that pain didn’t fade. He nodded once, turned on his heel, and started to walk away.

  If I let him leave, I’d never see him again.

  Not until he was a story in the news, another criminal crossed off the list as the cops celebrated his death or his arrest. I’d never again hear him laugh or see him sketch or feel his soft touch on my skin. I’d never feel his arms around me again or smell his woodsy cologne. I’d never get to feel his five-o’clock shadow scrape my cheek or wake up next to him smiling at me. He bent down, picked up his trash bag, which he hadn’t unpacked—a freaking trash bag—as if he’d known this was going to happen all along. And he walked toward the door.

  It felt like he tore my heart out of my chest and took it with him.

  “Wait—no!” I called.

  He tensed and turned around, that pain still written all over his face.

  He didn’t say anything. He didn’t need to.

  I flung myself at him, and he caught me, wrapping his arms around me securely. Just like he always did. I kissed him with all the anger and fear and pain he brought out in me—and so much more that I didn’t want to examine yet.

  Like I always did.

  CHAPTER 17

  CHRIS

  I’d thought she had finally given up on me, that the truth—however ugly it might be—had finally been enough to push her away. The time had come for her to hear it, despite my reluctance to tell her, and the look on her face when I told her what I’d done—the disgust and horror—had been enough to break my heart.

  She’d told me to leave, ordered me out of her life, and I found out what real pain was. What real loss was. I’d never felt it before. Not like this. Not so strong.

  I’d never really had her, but suddenly I was losing her.

  And that hurt.

  But she called me back and kissed me, and there was no way in hell I was going to let that go to waste. I needed her too damn badly to be noble like that. I growled and backed her against a wall, kissing her like I was a starving man and she was my last meal before my execution—because she just might be.

  The fact that she’d figured out my endgame, my plans, before even Scotty did, blew me away. It shouldn’t have. She was as brilliant as she was kind, which was why I shouldn’t have been doing this. Loving her. Kissing her. Dragging her down with me.

  And yet, I couldn’t stop.

  I loved her, and if she was willing to give herself to me, I wasn’t a strong enough man to turn her away. I wasn’t that guy. I traced her curves with both hands, memorizing the way her breasts swelled out, and the gentle indent of her waist right before her hip, and how right she felt when I grabbed the sides of her ass and rolled my hips against her.

  It was all perfect. Too perfect for me.

  And I was gonna fight like hell to keep it.

  Deepening the kiss, I swept my tongue through her mouth and palmed her ass, pulling her closer to my cock. She moaned and lifted her leg, wrapping it around my waist, and that was all the invitation I needed. I hoisted her up with both hands, slamming her against the wall exactly where I wanted her.

  With her hot pussy pressed against my hard cock, and the warming breeze coming off the water, I finally believed heaven existed. But it wasn’t a place.

  It was a feeling. A thing.

  This feeling. This woman.

  Her hands fell to my shirt, and she gripped it with trembling fingers. I eased back a bit to aid her, but didn’t stop kissing or touching her. I couldn’t. I gripped her shirt and fisted it at the bottom, breaking off the kiss long enough to yank it over her head before recapturing her mouth like some sort of Viking king claiming his woman.

  And with her in my arms, I felt like one.

  “Chris,” she whispered against my mouth, shoving my shirt off my shoulders—making us both bare chested since she hadn’t been wearing a bra. It fluttered to the floor behind me, and she skimmed her thumbnail across my nipple ring, tugging it slightly. I hissed. “I need you.”

  “You have me,” I growled back, pumping my hips against her again.

  She arched her back, her eyes rolling back in her head, and dug her nails into my chest. “I need more. So much more.”

  “What my princess wants?” I let her feet fall to the floor and dropped to my knees in front of her. I gripped the waist of her pants, undoing the button. “My princess gets.”

  “Yes.” She let her head fall back on the wall. “God, yes.”

  I unzipped her jeans slowly, feeling like I was unwrapping that present she’d given me all over again. The one I’d never even thanked her for. I would. Right now.

  But not with words.

  Words were useless in a world like mine. Empty promises made by empty people. It was actions that counted. Actions that really told a person how you felt.

  And I was gonna show her.

  I kissed her belly, right above the button of her pants, and rolled them down her legs. They fell to the floor, tangling around her feet, so she kicked them off. All she had on now was a pair of sheer pink satin panties, and her long brown hair played peekaboo with the hard pink tips of her breasts—and it was the sexiest thing I’d ever seen.

  I nipped the skin directly above the pink bow on her underwear, and spread her legs forcibly with my hands on her thighs. She gasped and grabbed on to my hair, tugging as she fought to gain balance. “You’re so fucking go
rgeous.”

  She bit down on her lip, chest rising and falling, teasing me with those brief glimpses of her nipples through her hair. “Chris.”

  “Yeah?” I flicked my tongue over her clit through the panties, grinning when she moaned and strained to get closer. She failed, because I held her right where I wanted her—and I wasn’t letting go anytime soon. “What’s wrong?”

  She glowered down at me, frustration and need blazing out of those hazel eyes of hers without any restraint. Now, that was a scene I needed to draw. “I need you now.”

  I let go of her thighs and tore her panties off, baring her smooth, wet skin. She dropped her head back on the wall again, moving restlessly as she pulled on my hair. I didn’t tease her anymore—I took what I fucking wanted. Her.

  Always her.

  Closing my mouth around her clit, I rolled my tongue and sucked. She tasted so fucking good. Like an angel come to earth, just for me. My hands slid behind her to cup her ass and hold her in place, and I thrust my tongue inside of her. She dug her fingers into my scalp, not releasing my hair, and threw a leg over my shoulder.

  Pushing against my mouth, she screamed my name and slammed her heel into my back to pull me closer, desperation taking over her body.

  A desperation I understood all too well.

  “That feels so good,” she breathed, rolling her hips in a figure-eight motion. Pulling back, I captured her clit with my mouth again and thrust two fingers inside her at the same time, crooking it just right. “Too good. I’m so close. So—Chris.”

  Her whole body stiffened and almost immediately went lax. I didn’t stop there, though, even though she came and I had the green light to bury my cock inside her tight pussy. She needed more. More pleasure. More tension. More me.

  Just . . . more.

  Growling, I thrust my tongue inside her again, knowing I’d never get enough of her. She stiffened, as if surprised I hadn’t stopped, but buried her hands in my hair again, straining to get closer before pulling away. “N-no more. You need to stop right—now—oh my God, don’t stop.”

  She dug her heel into my upper back again, fucking my mouth with an abandon I’d never seen before. It was addicting. I dug my fingers into the soft flesh of her ass, deepening my intimate kiss, and she let out a frustrated scream, her tits rising and falling with each ragged breath she took.

  Her hair was behind her now, so there was nothing obstructing me from that view. I stared up at her, watching the emotions cross her face. Her eyes were closed, and she bit down on her lip so hard it was a miracle she didn’t break the skin. Her hips undulated wildly, and her cheeks were rosy pink. I couldn’t look away.

  She was utterly beautiful.

  “Chris.”

  I scraped my teeth across her clit gently, and licked it. With a ragged cry, she came, her whole body sagging and going limp. If not for the way I held her up, she would’ve hit the floor. I finally pulled back, knowing if I continued my gentle assault on her, she’d combust before I could make love to her. “You have no idea how good you taste, Princess.”

  Her eyes drifted open, and she licked her lips. “Take me.”

  “I will.” I set her so she rested against the wall, facing it, and splayed her hands out above her head. Tracing the curve of her ass, I stepped closer, letting my hard cock press against her bare skin. I still wore jeans, so the rough denim should have teased her soft skin. From behind, I cupped her tits and rolled her nipples between my fingers. “When I’m ready to.”

  She dropped her forehead on the wall, shivering. “You’re going to kill me.”

  “Never.” I nibbled her shoulder before circling my tongue over the love bite. “I only want to make you feel good, Molly. I just want to worship every inch of your perfect body, one lick at a time, till you’re quivering in my arms and unable to move because you just feel too damn good. I just want to show you how beautiful you are, and how good you make me feel, by returning the favor. That’s all, Princess.”

  She let out an unintelligible sound. I took it as a yes, please.

  Undoing my pants, I let them hit the floor and kicked them aside, unable to tear my gaze from her naked body. Every single inch of her skin was like artwork, and I wanted to draw her like this. Trembling, naked, filled with need.

  I needed to draw her like this.

  After removing my boxers, I took care of the condom and stepped up behind her again. She still hadn’t moved. Just stood there, waiting for me to make love to her. Gently, I pulled her hair away from her face, sweeping it to the side and over her left shoulder.

  I kissed her temple and pressed my cock between her legs, teasing her slit. “You have no clue how much I want you. How long I’ve waited for this. Years, Princess. Fucking years.”

  A small whimper escaped her, and she arched her back while spreading her legs so her ass was positioned just right for me to enter her. It would be so easy to slip my cock inside her, to forget about worshipping her body—and her—and just take what she offered. But like I said, actions spoke louder than words, and by the time I was finished with her, she’d know exactly where she stood with me.

  I kissed her cheek and reached around her front, teasing her clit with my thumb. “You’re so soft. So sweet.”

  “God, Chris.” She pressed her ass against my cock again, and I gritted my teeth because her soft skin pressed up against mine was pure heaven. “Please.”

  “Shh.” I played with her nipple as I pinched her clit, rocking my hips so my cock teased her entrance. “I’m here. I’m not leaving you.”

  Her hands fisted on the wall, as if seeking something to grab but coming up empty. I held on to her tightly, showing her I had her, and rolled my hips one more time.

  She dropped her head back against the front of my shoulder and gasped. “Fuck me. God, please, just fuck me.”

  I shook my head. “No.”

  “Wh-what?” She stiffened and glanced over her shoulder at me. “Why not?”

  “I refuse to fuck you like you’re just some girl to get off and forget. I refuse to treat you like some faceless woman I won’t remember come the morning.” I turned her slowly, fisting her hair and guiding her exactly where I wanted her. She fell back against the wall, chest rising and falling, cheeks even pinker than before. “Don’t get me wrong—I’ll make you feel good. I’ll take you hard, and rough, and from behind, and I won’t stop till you think you’ll die from the pleasure, or until you’ve lost count how many times you’ve come. But I won’t be fucking you, Molly. I’ll be making love to you.”

  Her eyes widened, but before she could reply, I captured her mouth with mine, lifting her in my arms and slamming her against the wall. Before she could so much as wrap her legs around my waist, I thrust inside her tight pussy, sheathing myself completely. She screamed into my mouth, her whole body tensing as she came again, and buried her hands in my hair securely, just like I held on to hers.

  Without breaking stride, I moved my hips. Hard. Fast. Just like I promised. And each pump of my hips drove us both higher, until I was breathing heavily and there was nothing in the world but this. Us. I drove into her again, and she screamed, yanking on my hair so hard it brought tears to my eyes—and almost made me come.

  Growling, I broke the kiss off, let her hit the floor, spun her so she faced the wall, and spread her thighs. She gasped, her whole body trembling. I fisted her hair, gripped her hip, and drove into her from behind. “Jesus, Molly.”

  She nodded frantically, pushing her forehead against the wall. “I know. God, I know. Don’t stop.”

  “Never,” I promised, melding my body to hers. I kissed her neck and pushed inside her again, even deeper. “Not till the day I die. That’s a promise.”

  She hesitated, and nodded.

  And I lost control.

  Every thrust I made, every movement, shoved me higher until I knew, no matter what bec
ame of us, that nothing and no one would ever be able to fill the void inside of me that losing her would leave behind.

  And I would. Lose her.

  One way or another.

  I moved my hips frantically, seeking the release only she could give me—the acceptance only she ever showed me.

  She screamed out, “Yes. Harder.”

  Gritting my teeth, I gave her what she wanted, and I gave her even more. The second the walls of her pussy tightened around my cock, I joined her, letting out a long, predatory growl as I came, too. Dropping my head on the wall, right above hers, I let out a long breath, blinking away the sweat that stung my eyes. “Molly.”

  So much was in that simple word. The way she made me feel. What I wished I could have. What I wished I could give her, if I hadn’t already promised my life to another man. But I knew what had to be done. What I would do. When it came to saving Scotty, there was no question of how far I would go. Not anymore.

  She nodded, not speaking.

  It was enough.

  By the time I pulled out, the bliss had worn off, and I was replaying our conversation from right before we made love. She’d told me to leave.

  I stepped back, running my arm across my forehead. “Molly, I—”

  “Are you—?” Molly asked at the same time.

  We both broke off.

  She laughed nervously. “You go first.”

  “I might not be a gentleman, but even I know ladies go first.” I gestured her forward as I went to the trash can to remove the condom. “Go ahead.”

  Her eyes shifted to the door and back to me. “I was just going to ask you if you wanted coffee,” she said lamely.

  Bullshit. “Do you still want me to leave?”

  She bit down on her lip, staring at me. “Are you still going to die for him?”

  “If that’s what it comes to?” I lifted a shoulder and stepped into my boxers. “Yeah. I would. But I’d do the same for you.”

  She paled. “Don’t say that.”

  “It’s true.” I stepped closer, locking gazes with her. “I might not be a good man, or even a half-decent one, but I swear to you, right here, right now, that I will lay down my life to protect yours. I would do anything—kill anyone—if it meant keeping you safe. I wouldn’t hesitate. I wouldn’t show mercy.” I paused, letting that sink in before adding, “I’d blow my own fucking brains out before letting anyone lay a finger on you, including myself. This I swear to you.”