Don't Look Back: sequel to He Loves Me Not (Lily's Story, Book 2)

by Kersey, Christine

  The waitress appeared at the table, their food in her hands. An awkward silence ensued as they both waited for her to finish setting their dishes in front of them. The waitress left and Jessica stared at the steaming bowl of soup, her appetite non-existent.

  Alex picked up his fork and began eating his meal.

  “I really need to get back to work.” Jessica set her napkin on the table and lifted her purse from the back of her chair.

  “So we’re good, right?” Alex took a large bite of his pasta salad.

  She stared at him, stunned that he would believe things were possibly anywhere in the realm of good. “You’re kidding, right?”

  He set his fork down. “No, of course not. Don’t you believe me when I say I made a mistake and that it won’t happen again?”

  “Oh, I know you made a mistake.” Jessica held her purse in her lap, ready to bolt as soon as she could. “But that doesn’t make everything okay. We’re done, Alex.” She stood, thinking that would convey the finality of her words.

  He jumped up and came toward her. “Please, Jessica. Don’t do this. You’re making a mistake.”

  Putting her purse over her shoulder, she put her hands out to stop his approach. “No, the mistake would be staying with you when I can’t trust if you’ll be faithful.” She paused, watching the words sink in. When it seemed he was finally getting it, she said, “Good bye, Alex.” Then she turned and walked out of the restaurant and to her car.

  As she slid behind the wheel she looked over her shoulder to make sure he hadn’t followed her. Relieved that he hadn’t, she felt tears form in her eyes as she pictured the fun times the two of them had enjoyed together. Forcing those thoughts away, she wiped at her eyes and started her car. Heading home, she wondered how she was going to tell her parents she’d broken up with Alex, the man they had hoped would become the son they’d never had.

  Chapter Two

  Once home, Jessica worked on her programming project but found her mind turning to Alex and her now broken future. This all feels so familiar, she thought, remembering past relationships. Am I ever going to find happiness or am I destined to pick the wrong man, time after time?

  Despite the dispiriting direction her mind insisted on following, she managed to get some work done before it was time to go to her parents’ house for dinner. When she pulled up in front of her childhood home, she braced herself for the disappointment her parents were sure to have over her break-up with Alex. As Jessica walked in to the house wonderful smells wafted toward her and she felt her stomach rumble. She hadn’t eaten since breakfast and was now famished.

  “Mom?” she called out, not seeing anyone in the living room.

  “In here,” a voice answered from the kitchen.

  Forcing a smile, Jessica went toward the familiar room and found her mother putting the finishing touches on a green salad. “Hi, Mom.” Jessica hugged her mother. “Where’s Dad? I didn’t see him when I came in.”

  “Oh, he must be upstairs. He got home from work late and wanted to put on something more casual.”

  “How was your day?” Jessica asked.

  “Not bad. I signed a new client today. A family selling their house. And they were willing to price it to sell, so I’m hopeful it won’t sit on the market too long.”

  “Yeah, this is definitely a buyer’s market.”

  Jessica’s mother nodded as she carried the salad to the table in the adjacent dining room. “Can you grab the rolls? Then I think we’ll be ready to eat.”

  A few minutes later Jessica sat at the dining room table with both her parents. She didn’t look forward to telling them she had broken up with Alex and hoped she could put it off. As the main meal came to a close she began to think she might be able to get through the evening without mentioning it, but then as her mother set dessert on the table her father asked the dreaded question.

  “So Jessica, what’s going on with you and Alex? Has he brought up the ‘M’ word yet?”

  “Now, Jack. I don’t think Jessica needs any more pressure.”

  Jessica smiled at her mom, thankful for her intervention.

  “I’m her father. It’s my job to ask these things.”

  Deciding to get it over with, Jessica turned to her dad. “I have some bad news.”

  “What?” her mom asked, alarm in her voice.

  “I broke up with Alex today.”

  “Why?” her mom asked.

  Jessica hadn’t finished processing her conversation with Alex yet herself, and didn’t want to tell her parents all the gory details. “I don’t really want to get into it, but I decided it wasn’t going to work out.”

  “Oh, Jessica. I’m so sorry to hear that,” her mom said. “It’s too bad though. I thought he was such a good catch.”

  “You and me both.” Afraid to say anything that would get her parents digging into the specifics, she left it at that and hoped they would too.

  “Are you sure about this, Jessica?” her dad asked.

  “Let it go, Jack.”

  “Come on, Debra. You know you were hoping for grandkids soon.”

  Jessica’s mother glanced at Jessica before looking back at her husband. “There’s still time. She’s only twenty-seven. Nowadays a lot of women don’t have their first child until they’re in their thirties or later.”

  “But what if she has trouble like you did?” Her father asked. “At least we were able to have her. What if she can’t have children at a later age?”

  Jessica sighed. “I’m still here in the room. You know I don’t like when you talk about me like I’m not here.”

  “I’m sorry,” they said in unison.

  “We’re just disappointed,” her mom said. “We really liked Alex and thought it was going to turn in to something permanent. But all we really want is your happiness. You know that, right?”

  Jessica nodded. “Of course I know that. But I really don’t want to talk about it.”

  Her mother nodded and starting slicing the apple pie. “My sister Ellen called today.” Debra placed a slice of apple pie on each of three plates as she spoke. “She’s just getting over a bad case of the flu and isn’t feeling well. I offered to come out and stay with her, but she wouldn’t hear of it.”

  Jessica pictured her aunt, with whom she had spent many happy summers, and felt a flash of concern. “Who’s going to take care of her? She doesn’t have any children and since Uncle Patrick died last year, she has no family around at all. And she’s what— nearly seventy now?”

  “Yes, but you know how independent she is. And seventy isn’t what it used to be anyway. It’s like the new sixty, right Jack?”

  Jessica’s dad laughed. “If you say so, Debra.”

  “But if she’s been sick,” Jessica said, letting the sentence trail off as she accepted the plate of pie from her mother. She stared at the plate as an idea filled her mind. She thought about the woman who was like a second mother to her and smiled, certain her idea was a good one. “Maybe she would let me come out and help her.”

  “That would be wonderful. I think you should offer,” Debra said. “She’s always adored you so I think she’d accept your offer of help. Maybe you could just offer to come for a visit. Tell her you need a change of scenery or something. Make it seem like she was doing you a favor.”

  Jessica smiled, pleased with the idea. “I’ll give her a call when I get home.”

  When Jessica walked in to her apartment later that evening exhaustion from the emotional day washed over her, but she didn’t forget about calling her Aunt Ellen. Though it was starting to get late, she picked up the phone, wanting to get her plans set, if indeed her aunt would allow her to come.

  After greeting her aunt, who seemed wide awake, Jessica jumped to her proposal. “I could really use some time away, Ellen.” As the words left her mouth she realized that she really did want a change of scenery. “I broke up with my boyfriend today and . . .” she swallowed, trying to get the sudden rush of sadness under control. “Well
, it would be nice to be somewhere else for a while.”

  “Oh, Jessica. I’m so sorry to hear you’re having trouble. You know I’d love to have you come for a visit. What about your job, though?”

  “That’s no problem. All my work is done remotely, so it doesn’t matter where I am, as long as there’s an Internet connection. You do have an Internet connection, don’t you?”

  “I might live in the middle of nowhere, but I have one of those satellites. So I have good TV shows and Internet. I have it all, Jessica. Don’t you worry.”

  Jessica smiled despite herself. “One last thing. I have my kitty, Hudson. Is it okay if I bring him along?”

  “Of course. Cats love it out here.”

  “Great. I have a few things to take care of in the morning, but then I ought to be there sometime tomorrow afternoon.”

  Once the arrangements had been made, she called her mother to report that she would be going to her aunt’s house to take care of her, although she was certain her aunt would feel like she was taking care of Jessica.

  The phone calls done, she grabbed a notepad and pen, sat on the couch, and started making a list of what she would need to bring. Hudson soon jumped up beside her and rubbed his head against her leg, looking for attention. Jessica obliged, scratching between his ears and under his chin. Hudson rewarded her with loud purring.

  “Guess what, big guy? We’re going to the country to visit my aunt Ellen. You’ll love it there. She has a big old house and lots of property where you can run around. But you have to behave yourself and not go too far, or I’ll keep you in the house.”

  Chapter Three

  It was late afternoon by the time Jessica neared her aunt’s house. It had taken all morning to get a few loads of laundry done and then pack. After the busy morning and the three hour drive she was tired, but happy to have arrived. Warm feelings washed over her as she pulled in to the gravel road that led to the house. Though she hadn’t been there for several months, Jessica had spent many happy weeks of her childhood with her aunt over summer vacations while her mother worked and the good feelings she’d had while visiting rushed through her.

  The house was hidden from view as she began the quarter mile drive past tall trees that lined the private road. The trees suddenly ended and the house appeared in front of her, looking just as she remembered. White with cheerful red shutters, the outside always felt inviting. Jessica especially loved the over-sized wraparound porch with the wide staircase leading to the bright red front door.

  Pulling to a stop, she smiled. “We’re here, big guy.” She reached over to the passenger seat, where Hudson rode in his cat carrier, and opened the latch. The door swung open and after hesitating for a moment, he climbed onto Jessica’s lap, pressing his nose against the window. “You want out. I know.”

  Jessica opened the car door and Hudson leapt to the ground, then he started sniffing the air. Scooping him into her arms, she walked up the stairs and knocked on the front door, then, realizing her aunt might be upstairs or napping, she opened the door and walked in. Hudson squirmed to get down and Jessica set him on the floor. She smiled as she watched him explore the large old house.

  “Ellen? It’s Jessica. I’m here.”

  When there was no answer, she began checking the downstairs. The spacious front room only held her aunt’s antique furniture. “Hello? Aunt Ellen? Are you home?”

  Still no answer.

  She walked into the adjoining sunroom, but focused on finding her aunt, she didn’t stop to enjoy the warm and inviting room. Hoping her aunt might be in the kitchen, Jessica went there next, but found it vacant.

  “I wonder . . . ,” she muttered as she opened the door to the refrigerator. Milk, eggs, and a few other items, but not nearly the amount of food her aunt usually kept in the house. Before leaving the kitchen, she poked her head into the bathroom/laundry room tucked in the back but her aunt wasn’t there, so she hurried through the large formal dining room and entered the library. Tall bookshelves lined the walls, filled with hundreds of books. Flashing back to summer afternoons curled up on the padded window seat, reading one of her aunt’s many books, Jessica smiled in warm remembrance.

  Anxious now to find her aunt, she continued through the library and ended up back in the foyer and at the base of the grand staircase. Jessica always loved the way the staircase curved upward. Hudson had moved halfway up the wooden stairs and she followed, quickly reaching the landing.

  She walked down the hall toward her aunt’s bedroom, but found the door closed. Assuming her aunt was napping, she gently knocked on the door and called out, “Ellen? Are you in there? It’s Jessica.” She heard the sound of the bed creaking and opened the door to peek inside. Her aunt lay in bed, but lifted her head at Jessica’s entrance. “I’m sorry if I woke you. I just got here and when you didn’t answer I got worried.”

  “I suppose I fell asleep.” Ellen slowly pushed herself to a sitting position on the side of the bed. “I’m sorry, Jessica. I meant to have everything ready for you when you came, but this flu has really knocked me for a loop.” She pushed herself to a sitting position. “I haven’t even put fresh sheets on your bed. What kind of hostess have I become?”

  “Don’t worry about it, Ellen. I can take care of that. I don’t expect you to wait on me. I just want to enjoy your company.”

  “Oh, you are so sweet.”

  Hudson meowed in the doorway.

  “Well, who do we have here?” Ellen asked.

  Jessica picked Hudson up and carried him over to her aunt. “This is Hudson. I got him after I last saw you.”

  Ellen ran her fingers through his soft fur and Hudson began purring. “Oh, I like him. May I hold him?”

  “Sure, but he’s kind of heavy.” Jessica set Hudson in her aunt’s lap.

  “Oh my. He certainly is.”

  Hudson sniffed Ellen for a moment, then jumped to the floor.

  “He’s not really a lap cat,” Jessica said as she watched Hudson enter the closet to continue his exploration.

  “Are you hungry, dear?” Ellen asked, a concerned look on her face.

  Though ravenous, she didn’t want her aunt to worry about feeding her. “I can figure something out.”

  “I meant to get to the store, but I just haven’t had any energy. I’m starting to feel better though.”

  Concerned that her aunt wouldn’t allow anyone to take care of her outright, Jessica decided to be careful with what she said. “You know, if I’m going to be staying here for a while I would feel a lot better about accepting your hospitality if you would let me help out.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Well, perhaps I can run errands, clean up, that kind of thing.” When she saw her aunt open her mouth to object, she quickly went on. “It’s really something I need to do. It helps me think when I’m stuck on a programming problem for work.”

  “Oh. Well, I suppose if it helps you it would be okay. But I don’t want you to feel obligated. You are my guest, after all.”

  “Thank you, Ellen. I appreciate you understanding.”

  Ellen pointed to the back of the door. “Can you hand me my sweater? It’s a little chilly.”

  Jessica got the red sweater, knowing it was her aunt’s favorite color, and helped her put it on. “Would you like me to fix you something warm to drink?”

  “That would be lovely,” Ellen said. “I always enjoy a good cup of hot cocoa.”

  Jessica watched her aunt stand and begin walking toward the door. Worried that her aunt would have trouble on the stairs, Jessica stayed close to her side as they descended the staircase. Once they reached the kitchen, she led Ellen to the cheerful sunroom and helped her get settled in an overstuffed chair covered in a yellow and blue chintz fabric, then gathered the ingredients to make a mug of hot cocoa for both of them.

  “I might have some whipped cream in the fridge,” Ellen called out.

  Opening the fridge, Jessica glanced inside, already knowing there wasn’t much the
re. Standing, she turned back toward her aunt. “I don’t see any, but I’d like to take a trip to the grocery store and get a few things, if that’s all right.”

  “I’m sorry to make you go to so much trouble, Jessica. I’ll bet if you’d realized that you’d have all this extra work to do, you would have thought twice about coming.”

  Jessica set the mug of milk in the microwave and turned it on, then walked over to her aunt and knelt in front of her. A warm smile on her face and her voice soft, Jessica said, “Let’s get one thing straight right now. I want to be here. I want to help out. I enjoy spending time with you and I don’t want to hear any more comments about you being sorry if there are tasks I need to do. I have lots of energy and it makes me feel good if I can make your life easier. Don’t take that away from me.” Then, hugging her aunt, she whispered, “You’re like a second mother to me. I love you.”

  The microwave beeped and Jessica pulled back to see her aunt’s eyes sparkling with unshed tears. “Oh, sweetie, I love you too.”

  “Okay, then. Enough of your feeling guilty nonsense. Deal?”

  Ellen laughed. “Deal.”

  “Good. Let me finish making our cocoa and I’ll come sit by you and we can catch up.”

  Half an hour later Jessica had finished telling her aunt all about her job and about her breakup with Alex. “So you see, I’m really glad to get away for a while. Someplace where I can focus on work and you and myself.” Jessica looked over at Hudson, who had curled up on an empty love seat. “And Hudson, of course.” His ears twitched when she said his name, but other than that, he didn’t move.

  “Well, I’m glad you decided to come stay here for a while. There’s that nice old desk in the library that belonged to your Uncle Patrick. If you’d like, you can set up in there to work.”

  “I’d like that very much. I remember as a child sitting at that desk and coloring in those coloring books you always bought for me.”

  “I think I still have those old things up in the attic. Maybe we can make a project of going through some of those old boxes. I’d sure like to get some of that junk cleared out of there. There are even boxes from the last owner. I’d always meant to look through them, but there was always plenty of storage space, so I’ve never bothered. It always seemed too much like work.” She chuckled.