by R G Berube
The dogs, having kept pace until we had begun to race, were far behind. Hadrian signaled for me to slow and we stopped to allow them to catch up to the party.
“You certainly have learned your riding lesson well, Antinoos! You have surpassed my expectations.”
His face glowed and I could tell by the sparkle in his eyes just how much he enjoyed himself.
“Lessons in something one loves to do are lessons easily learned,” I said, appreciating the vigor of the ride and of having enjoyed my training with Septimus.
“But there will be more to this than horsemanship. You must remember carefully what I told you about being too confident while hunting the prey. The animal does not discriminate and will attack whatever it sees moving. This is much more than an exercise in riding, Antinoos.”
Borysthenes pawed the ground and strained at the bit to be on the move. He smelled the game and knew the object of our being there.
Salvus called above the din, “You will find that from here on, we are likely to encounter something. My man was here yesterday afternoon and said he saw a sow and young in the area. We should avoid her, as I do not want her killed. Let us concentrate on a male,” he advised.
“On with it, then!” Hadrian cried out, urging Borysthenes to set off in a gallop.
We followed close behind and entered an area of woods with much low brush. The pace was kept in check to allow the dogs to do their work. Soon a bitch picked up a scent and we stopped to allow her to trace the trail. The hounds began to bark as their agitation mounted, their nostrils filled with the smell of the beast having recently passed. They were wild with excitement, anticipating a kill. Suddenly there was a rush of movement on our left and a large boar came charging at the hounds but they stood their ground and barked savagely. The boar stopped short and faced us, digging furrows in the ground with its hooves, waving its head back and forth, its large tusks cutting a wide path.
Salvus was the first to fix an arrow on his bow and he let fly but missed the beast when it moved. Hadrian was next and he aimed, but then lowered his bow and looked at me.
“Will you take this one?” He asked me, more a suggestion than a question.
“I would like to try.”
“Then do so,” he said. “Shoot for the area below its jaw.”
I raised my bow and took careful aim, judging the distance and the movement of the boar as it made passes at the dogs, being careful not to strike one of them. When I felt right, I let fly the arrow. It landed short by several feet. I had not pulled the string back enough. I felt humiliated and angry for having been impetuous. An arrow came from behind and hit the boar behind the left ear, going deeply into its flesh. The boar bellowed with pain, fell to the ground and quickly rose again. Turning, it fled into the brush. It had been Gracchus' shot and he had hit his mark.
Gracchus was off his horse, having given the reigns to Salvus and with the dogs ahead of him to show him the way, he pursued the animal on foot.
“Come, Antinoos, we follow!”
Hadrian motioned for me to tether the mare to a tree as he did, and we followed behind Gracchus, arrows strung and ready to strike if necessary. The hounds stopped here and there to sniff the spots of blood that marked the path of the wounded animal. The markings led up a hillock and down the other side. We saw the boar in a clearing, lying on its side, having lost enough blood to make it too weak to go further. Gracchus had pierced an artery.
By this time the dogs were at high pitch, running circles around the dying pig, barking and causing the animal to thrash about in effort to strike out at them. I called the dogs back but they did not obey. Hadrian called to them once, and they returned immediately. Once again I felt embarrassment. But too much was happening for me to indulge in the self-pity. We rushed nearer. Gracchus sank his lance into the animal, giving it its death blow.
Seeing the look of pride on his face for having downed the thing, I could not begrudge him the honor and felt happy for him. There would be other boars to kill. We congratulated Gracchus and Salvus reached down and cut the animal's right ear, handing it to the victor as a prize.
“Well done, boy.” Hadrian praised him. “Good shot from the beginning! This is a lesson to you, Antinoos. Learn from it that you must put power in the draw of the string. Practice, and I am sure you will excel as you have in your riding. Come lad, I am sure there is another beast in these woods; one that bears you name.”
Leaving the carcass for the slaves to dress and carry back, we moved on. Gracchus, having obtained another spear, rode beside me.
“Are you angry that I took it? I feared it would get away.”
I was humbled that Gracchus had perceived my disappointment and thought I would envy him, or that I might hold resentment.
“I was, but only for a moment. My pride was hurt at missing the mark. I'm happy you shot and hit it. It was a good shot, too!”
“Luck,” he said, making less of his marksmanship than he should have. I learned later that Gracchus was an expert with the bow.
We rode into thicker growth, fanning out to cover greater distance. I stayed within eye-contact of the Emperor, watching his every move whenever I was able; observing his technique. The sun had begun to touch the hills behind us and within half an hour's passing it would soon begin to get dark. The dogs could be heard ahead, barking as they ranged through the brush searching for a scent. My mount had become fully responsive and I felt quite comfortable, and therefore relaxed myself with her as I gave attention to Hadrian and the dogs.
Suddenly the mare reared and I felt myself falling backward over her rump and to the ground, landing with a thud. The wind was knocked out of me and I sat gasping for air. I had hit the side of a tree and my shoulder was in terrible pain. I sat, stunned, not understanding what had happened. Hadrian rode to me and leaped from Borysthenes, coming to my aid.
“Were do you hurt?”
I touched my shoulder and he tore the top of my tunic to look at the area. It was scratched and bleeding. Hadrian lifted my arm and moved it gently about to assess pain and damage.
“It is not broken,” he said, showing relief. “Try standing.”
I slowly got to my feet, feeling dizzy as the scenery around me swirled. Hadrian steadied me, putting his arm under me for support.
“Now see if you can walk.”
We made our way to where the mare had come to a stop, and she nibbled at the leaves of a bush, undaunted. Gracchus and Salvus had rushed to our aid, thinking the incident a serious one. I looked and felt soiled and in disarray. My fillet had come loose from my head and my hair had fallen all about my face, tangled and filled with dirt and leaves. My side hurt and I limped as I walked.
“How is he?” Salvus addressed himself to Hadrian
“I believe he will survive,” he said lightly, making little of the incident. “It was the price of over-confidence. Do you agree, Antinoos?”
He had noted my lack of attention with her and probably had seen the incident coming and decided that it was a lesson I needed to learn.
“What did you do wrong, boy?”
“Assumed too much, Sire.”
“Indeed you did, lad. You allowed her to become the master when she decided she wanted to eat. So you know what you did wrong. Do you know what you did right?”
I could not understand what he was asking and felt ridiculous at my inability to respond. I wanted to hide my face and shout at him to let me be, as the entire event had made me feel belittled and mortified. But I kept my tongue.
“Come, Antinoos. Tell me what you did that was done correctly and with exception!”
At a loss for words, I stuttered. “I do not know, Lord.”
He would not take my answer and persisted.
“Yes you know. Think! Consider the height you fell and how little you were hurt. That fall could have been very serious.”
Then I remembered a series of lessons with Septimus where he had taught me how to roll from the horse, should I be thrown or find
the need to dismount swiftly.
“My pushing from her and landing on my feet before I fell?”
` Hadrian smiled and began to brush the leaves from my hair. He took the corner of his cloak and wiped my face clean.
“Indeed, and you did it expertly,” he answered, taking me into his arms and holding me for a moment.
“You gave me quite a fright, little Bithynian. See that you are more cautious in the future. Here, wrap this around your shoulder.”
Hadrian took a cloth from his saddle-bag and with the help of Gracchus, bound my shoulder while Salvus retrieved the mare.
“Are you ready to remount?”
I nodded, reluctant, but knowing there was nothing else to do but get back on her and re-establish my control.
“Do you feel you want to continue, or shall we return?”
“Onward,” I said, moving my shoulder to loosen the tension that had come into it. “My boar is still waiting and I have full intention of keeping the appointment!”
“Good, Antinoos!” Hadrian called, giving me a resounding slap on the rump. I flinched but smiled and resumed my place in the saddle.
“She has been named,” I said to them, grabbing the reigns solidly and firmly gripping her sides with my knees.
“Tell us what we are to call her,” Salvus asked.
“Catapult!”
The party rode for another half hour. Although the dogs had been following the scent of something close, it became too dark for us to pursue it. We agreed to return to the villa. Hadrian and Salvus rode ahead, involved in conversation. Gracchus and I rode together.
“How do you feel?” He asked.
“Tender,” I responded, the pains of the fall having become more evident now that I had the time to think about them. My shoulder would be bruised badly by morning, and my right ankle throbbed, having twisted it when I had jumped from the mare.
“Take a hot bath and have Salvus' physician look at your ankle. You may not be able to walk on it if you ignore it. It looks swollen.”
Then he looked at the mare. “Will you keep her?”
“Absolutely!” I had resolved that question as soon as I had remounted her. “We have given each other a mutual initiation. It was her price for relinquishing herself to me, I think.”
He nodded approval and reached to shake my hand.
“Your fortitude and stamina belie your looks!”
“What do you mean?” I wondered if his words implied what I thought.
“There is a softness about you that would make people believe that you are not inclined for this sort of thing. Riding and hunting were not interests I would have thought you had. I mistook you for one of his delicacies when I first saw you. Some of the Emperor's favorites have been less than manly, if you know what I mean! Their concerns seemed more to do with how well they looked in the latest fashions, and many reeked of scents or perfumes. Your beauty belies your strength.”
I was pleased. My fragile constitution and frame had been changed into something more developed, more muscular because of exercise. Three years of maturity had reduced those places where the flesh had been soft and feminine. But apparently I still did not look the man I thought myself to be.
As we rode back along the southwest ridges of the land I noticed torches in the distance. There were many, all following the outline of a hilltop.
“What is that?”
“A burial or some religious celebration. These hills are filled with tunnels where the dead are buried. They are fanatics who adhere to the teachings of some Jew who claimed to be a messiah or god. They are difficult to understand, but are a peaceful people. They have rituals, in those caverns, and also bury their dead there because they are not allowed, by law to burn them.
“Salvus allows them?”
Gracchus shrugged his shoulders. “They cause no harm and they have assisted in the clearing of the land. He allows them their place beneath the ground and they help maintain some of the groves and harvest the grapes, of which he allows them to keep a portion.”
Then Gracchus laughed, “And Salvus says the bodies make good fertilizer.”
I had heard of the people referred to as Christians, but not in the harmless way alluded to by Gracchus. They had become a potentially dangerous sect at some point in the past, and had necessitated attempts at their extermination by several previous Emperors. There would be mass executions of them in times to come. It was known that the Emperor Nero had put thousands of them to death, having charged them with the cause of the great fire that had destroyed the city. It surprised me that Salvus was so lenient.
“I understand they are terribly difficult people to deal with. Doesn't Salvus worry about what they will do?”
Gracchus smiled, keeping his eyes on the moving pilgrims in the distance.
“There are worst enemies and more dangerous elements than those poor souls who want nothing more than to be left alone.”
“But you sound sympathetic,” I said, surprised by his response.
“And you sound like Lucius Commodus,” he said somewhat sharply.
The name of Commodus had not been mentioned during the day, and it had been a pleasure. Now I felt the sting of being compared to him.
“Gracchus, what cause have you to say this?”
“Because the man assumes that the world must be seen as he sees it. He allows for little diversity. Anyone who does not believe what Lucius believes is considered by him to be an adversary. He has little tolerance, and especially disapproves of the Emperor's liberal policy regarding the cults.”
“You seem to know quite a bit about a lot of things,” I said, admiration of his knowledge but also with sarcasm.
“I have a father whom I love, but Salvus is my master and my teacher!”
The answer was given in a most affirmative tone. I understood how much he admired and loved the man. The conversation was taking an argumentative tone and it was not my intention to become involved in differences of politics or personalities with Gracchus. I considered him a friend and did not wish to create discord. I let the matter drop.
We rode in silence for some while until Hadrian and Salvus slowed to let us join them, indicating their discussion of state business had ended and privacy was no longer needed. With the line of Christian torches at our back and Rome's glow lighting the sky ahead, we rode in silence, listening to the songs of crickets and of frogs in the nearby pond. It was a time of bonding, one that filled me with a sense so intense that I felt myself on the verge of tears.
These were times of felicity and concord. The legions were solidly behind the Emperor.
Chapter Sixteen
Shades of Icharus, Fall 127 A.D.
The Senate, although having existing animosities as a result of the extermination of some of its members at the start of Hadrian's reign, were for the most part supportive. They could not deny that the Empire was experiencing a boom of economic growth, peace in the provinces, and internal stability.
Like Trajan, Hadrian's concerns were with the administration of the state for the public good. The product of his intentions could not be denied. Large and small provinces received financial endowments for the building of new roads and the repair of old ones. Public baths were refurbished, and new ones erected. Administrative buildings were expanded or added to accommodate the growth of the Empire. Larger aqueducts were added to the already extensive system of public water supply. Assistance to the poor and military widows was increased. Humane institutions for the housing of homeless children and the destitute were opened, greatly relieving human suffering. The public dole was enlarged so that more grain was given, which meant the need for improved grain sources from which Rome obtained much of its food. The pay of soldiers and public servants was increased. Everyone felt the benefit of effective administration! The general confusion of laws that had existed for centuries was unified under a standard code so that justice could be more equal and the same for everyone throughout the Empire.
Hadrian ackn
owledged the results of his efforts by accepting certain titles bestowed upon him by the Senate, titles which he had once refused, early in his rule, until he could prove himself worthy.
As a means by which he could obtain more control over the sometimes difficult outlying districts, Hadrian relinquished some of the territories obtained by Trajan in his last years. This reduced the area over which the armies were spread, and allowed fewer miles of frontier to patrol. Legions were condensed and sent to where they were most needed. The more established outposts were urged to form settlements and establish trades.
His strategy affected changes in all manner of ways, but in spite of his success there remained a thorn in his side that caused him continual aggravation. Sabina resented his other interests and never ceased in holding him accountable for them. She took each opportunity that brought them together to make her objections known. Hadrian avoided her. But they took pains to present a public face, even though it was well known that much discord existed between them. He took care to include her in as many public functions as necessitated her presence, and no more.
Hadrian's spirit and soul yearned for a certain quality that his union with Sabina did not fulfill. There was an absence of bonding. They had not wed for love. He found no love in the marriage. It was alleged that Sabina took secret potions to null the possibility of issue on those infrequent nuptial encounters.
This man of monumental vision and controlled passions found himself suddenly taken by deeply sensitive stirrings which seemed, at one time, to have been impossible for him to feel. They were, therefore, even more passionate. To the allegations made by some of his contemporaries and of those of his later critics, most notably of Marcus Aurelius, his nephew, that he displayed a perverted appetite for boys, Hadrian would deny it and point to the many before him and millions who came after who had similar likes. Many succeeded with grand achievements with little effect upon the quality of their productions. In truth, time defines perversion by its own times; mere moral judgments based on the existing values. True perversion is found in the mind of the one who condemns without thought or understanding of the wonderful human quality of difference. To this mind comes the inheritance of evil. That is a dear price!