by Reilly, Cora
“We shouldn’t wait too long. Maybe he’ll realize it was stupid to contact you and he’ll decide to go back into hiding. We need to reach him before that,” I said, still fighting a battle I had already lost. So arrogant and prideful.
Valentina stepped out of my reach and I dropped my hand.
I needed to handle the traitors now. That was all I could focus on.
It was always easier to unleash your anger on others than on yourself, even if it was me whom I despised with a fiery passion.
I removed my jacket and rolled up my sleeves as I regarded Antonio and Raffaele bound to chairs in front of me. Stark terror reflected in their eyes and it was a beautifully satisfying sight.
I’d promised Valentina to end Antonio quickly, knowing I was lying. I couldn’t spare him, not only because I needed the information he harbored but also because I needed to satisfy the dark hunger in my veins asking for blood, for pain, for screams.
Arturo stood back, reading my mood curiously. “You want to handle them?”
I inclined my head with a cold smile that made Raffaele squirm in his seat, then groan against the tape covering his mouth. His kneecaps were splintered but that wouldn’t kill him. The shot wound in Antonio’s stomach was a bigger problem, but Arturo had bandaged it so he wouldn’t bleed out too soon.
“For now,” I said.
Arturo nodded and leaned against the wall. He’d only recently taken over from his father as Enforcer but he was a capable asset. He enjoyed the torture, which was always a helpful trait in our line of work. Yet sometimes I worried he enjoyed it a bit too much. One look at his eager dark eyes told me he was impatient for me to start. Right then, my own eyes probably held the same deranged need for bloodshed.
I let my gaze slide over the display of knives, scalpels and other utensils intended to make a traitor’s last hours as agonizing as possible. Arturo always tested new utensils, disturbingly creative in his job.
I preferred ordinary torture methods. Unsheathing my knife, I stepped up to Antonio and ripped away the tape. He cried out. “Think of Val. She’d never want you to torture me,” he croaked.
It was the wrong thing to say, reminding me of his connection to Val, of how he failed her like I’d failed her so far. Even knowing that he was gay, the thought of him kissing Val, of touching her sent a spear of jealous rage through me. I smiled and he began shaking. “Val won’t ever find out, now will she?”
Antonio swallowed, his eyes darting to my Enforcer. If he hoped for help, he was very mistaken.
“You will tell me everything I want to know, every little detail, about this coup, about your fellow conspirators. But first… about Val.”
Antonio’s eyes widened.
I had Raffaele to torture for information on the conspiracy, but Antonio was the only one who could help me understand my wife, the very essence of her being, and maybe my conflicting emotions for her.
I changed clothes before I returned home. The house was eerily silent when I stepped inside. Taft was in his guardhouse and Zita and Gabby must already have gone home. I headed up the staircase in search for Valentina. After the picture Antonio had painted about my wife, my guilt set even heavier on my shoulders. Val was a good woman, trying to help the people she loved with everything she had.
The sound of running water drew me into the bathroom and the sight before me broke through the dark clouds the torture had plastered over my soul. Val cowered in the shower, her legs pulled tightly to her chest as water rained down on her. Her hair was plastered to her shivering body. I stalked toward her and turned off the water, surprised to find it hot when Valentina’s goosebumps suggested she was cold.
I couldn’t explain what I felt looking down at my broken-hearted wife, at her anguish and sorrow. The tortured cries of Antonio and Raffaele had done nothing to me but my wife’s state tore at me.
I picked Valentina up and lifted her into my arms, feeling her shake against me. I wanted to protect her from all evil in this world, but the greatest of all evil were my own demons.
I set Val down, but she clung to me even as I dried her with a towel. She surprised me by burying her face in my neck, shuddering.
“Oh God,” she whispered.
I lifted her once more and carried her over to the bed where I gently put her down before I stretched out beside her. Val’s breathing was coming in harsh gasps, her eyes darting back and force as she succumbed to shock. I touched her cheeks, forcing her to look at me. “Shh, Val. It’s okay.”
“I killed him,” she croaked over and over again.
“Val, look at me.”
She did and the sorrow in her green eyes stirred emotions in me I hadn’t felt in a long time. “You did what was right. You did what you had to do to protect me. I won’t ever forget it. Never.” I stroked her cheeks, meaning every word. Despite how horrible of a husband I’d been for Valentina, she’d chosen me.
“I told you that you could trust me.”
“I know, and I do.”
“Did you get the names of the other traitors?”
I nodded. “Yes. I’m fairly sure. Enzo and a few others are taking care of the less important rats right now.”
“What…what did you do to Antonio?”
“He’s dead, Val.”
“I know, but what did you do to him?”
“If it’s any consolation for you, I focused my main attention on Raffaele. Antonio got a quicker death than any other traitor.” It wasn’t a lie. Raffaele suffered even more, but it wasn’t the truth Valentina had asked for. It was the one she deserved. She needed to be happy and I wouldn’t burden her with Antonio’s cruel death.
“Thank you.”
I regarded her pale face, her trembling lips, her wide eyes. “Val, you’re worrying me.”
Val kissed me, tasting of tears and her very own enticing sweetness. My brows pulled together, not sure what to make of her behavior. “Please,” she whispered. “Make love to me. Just today. I know you don’t love me. Pretend, just for tonight. Hold me in your arms for once.”
I had been fueled by self-hatred when I’d dealt with Antonio and Raffaele, but that was nothing in comparison to what I felt now. I deserved tenfold of the pain I’d caused them.
“God, Val,” I rasped and kissed her.
I shoved my self-hatred aside and focused on giving Val what she deserved, what I wanted to give her. For the first time, I allowed myself to take my time kissing Val, to pour my own need into her. Val softened under my touch as I caressed her shoulder, her arm and side, doing what I should have done the first time I’d taken her.
I got rid of my shirt and hugged Val to my chest, stroking her hair and kissing her face. I took my time stroking every inch of her smooth skin until I finally slipped my hand between her legs, finding her wet but not as aroused as usual. After a few minutes of kissing and caresses, Valentina was writhing beneath me and my own need called loudly to me, but I didn’t let it deter me. This wasn’t about my own desires. This was about my step toward redemption, redeeming myself toward my wife in the only way I was capable of at the moment. I undressed and molded our bodies together. I slid into Valentina slowly, watching her face closely, taking pleasure in the way her lips parted and she moaned.
I cupped her face, locking gazes before I started to move.
And this felt like a piece of my heart, which had been shattered at Carla’s death, molded together, as if I could finally let the past drop, step for step, and allow Valentina into my heart where she belonged.
She was a beautiful, kind woman, one I didn’t deserve, but I swore to myself to be a better husband, a better man for her.
“I should have made love to you before,” I rasped, and my heart lurched realizing this was exactly that. Lovemaking. I was falling for Valentina. My body and heart were unable to resist her, and I’d fought this useless battle for far too long.
During an early morning meeting with my captains—minus Tommaso who hadn’t showed up—to discuss the traitor sit
uation, my phone rang. It was one of the men I’d sent out to check on Tommaso. “Did you find him?”
“He’s dead. We found him only in his underpants on the living room floor of his house. His wife freaked out on us.”
“Where’s she now?”
“Still in hysterics in the kitchen.”
“Take her to her parents.”
I hung up then called the doc and sent him over to take a look at the body. I knew what he’d find. I’d never asked Val to hand over the vial with poison that Antonio had given her. She must have given it to Bibiano so she could kill her husband.
Giovanni, Rocco and my Captains regarded me curiously. “Tommaso’s been found dead.”
“Did the traitors kill him?” Giovanni asked.
“We don’t know yet. Let’s postpone this meeting. We discussed the most important aspects of the matter. I need to deal with this.”
I stood and everyone did the same.
I walked out of Rocco’s office and crossed the entrance hall. Steps rang out behind me. I turned. Rocco. “Did Antonio or Raffaele reveal plans to kill someone else?”
I gritted my teeth as I considered my reply. It would cast suspicion on Bibiana if Tommaso’s death couldn’t be linked to the coup. Val would be absolutely heartbroken if something happened to Bibiana. I wouldn’t hurt her. But she’d be shunned. She’d have to leave our circles at the very least, cast out from everything she knew.
“They mentioned that they had planned to kill more loyal followers but they died before I could extract more details from them.”
Rocco frowned. I was usually good at making sure people remained alive long enough to reveal all their secrets, but yesterday had been a catastrophic day and even I wasn’t beyond failure. Hopefully that would placate him. He nodded, but his eyes remained curious.
On my way back home, the doc called, telling me what I’d suspected: Tommaso had been poisoned.
The moment I saw Val, anger rose in me. She should have confided in me before doing something this foolish. If Bibiana had acted suspicious, Tommaso might have anticipated her plan and killed her in a rage. She would have revealed Val’s involvement under duress and then I’d have to deal with Tommaso to keep Val out of the line of fire. Not that the current situation was much better.
“Valentina, I’d like to talk to you,” I gritted out and stalked into my office, glaring out of the window.
Val’s heels clicked on the floor. I turned around to her. Worry swam in her eyes. She was a clever woman. She knew something was off.
“Tommaso didn’t show up at the meeting today.”
Val actually played dumb, something that didn’t suit her at all. She tried to deny everything, which was futile. When she realized she couldn’t fool me she finally admitted to giving Bibiana the poison without a flicker of remorse. “I would do it again. I don’t regret freeing Bibi of that cruel bastard. I only regret that I had to go behind your back, but you left me no choice.”
“I left you no choice? You can’t go around killing my men!”
“He deserved it. You should have seen what he did to Bibi. You should have wanted to kill him for how he treated an innocent woman, wife or not.”
“If I killed every man in the Outfit who treated women badly, I’d be left with half of my soldiers. This is a life of brutality and cruelty, and many soldiers don’t understand that as Made Men we should protect our family from it, and not unleash our anger on them. They know I don’t approve of their actions. That’s all I can do.” It was a sad truth. I despised many of my men for how they treated their wives. In fights I usually made sure to save these men last, but I couldn’t outright kill them.
“But I was handed the chance to do something, and I did.”
“You helped a wife murder her husband. Some men in my position would find it unsettling to be with a woman who doesn’t hesitate to use poison.”
“I gave Bibi a chance, a choice. That doesn’t mean I would kill you. I would fight you if you ever treated me like Tommaso did with Bibi. Tommaso preyed on Bibi’s weakness. She was given to that old bastard when she was only eighteen, and she never knew how to defend herself against him. He’s had four years to be a better man, to treat her decently. He failed. Our marriage has nothing to do with theirs. You don’t need to beat and rape me to feel like a man, and I wouldn’t let you. And anyway, I’m not vengeful, or I wouldn’t have swallowed how you treated me the last few months, how you accused me of cheating. And Bibi never loved Tommaso, so…”
I had to look away from Val’s eyes for a moment. Her love for me…I didn’t want to be confronted with it now. Things were complicated as it was.
“I’m not worried that you’d poison me. As I said before, I trust you. But I’ll have to investigate Tommaso’s death.”
“You won’t punish Bibi, will you? Please, Dante, if you care about me at all, you’ll rule that Tommaso’s murder was related to the traitors and that Bibi is innocent. She’s gone through too much already.”
“There might be people out there who won’t believe Bibiana wasn’t involved in Tommaso’s death, for exactly the reasons you stated before. She had reason to hate him. She had reason to kill him.”
“Then blame it on me. I could have done it behind Bibi’s back to help her.”
“And then what?”
“Then you punish me and not her.”
“And what if punishment for such a crime would be death in turn? Eye for an eye, Valentina.”
“Don’t hurt Bibi. Just don’t. Without me, she would have never found a way to kill him. It was as much my fault as it was hers. I will share whatever punishment you inflict on her.”
As if I’d ever hurt Val. My feelings for her would always prevent that. Punishing Bibiana would hurt Val. They were best friends. Val was fragile in her pregnant state. I didn’t want to cause her distress, not more than I had already caused her with my cold demeanor. She deserved happiness and love. While I wasn’t sure if I could give her the latter, I’d do my best to ensure the first.
Tommaso had been a loyal soldier. He deserved my protection. My oath as Capo entailed protecting the Outfit and my men. Letting others poison them most definitely broke my vow. Val’s eyes begged me. I couldn’t deny her, even if it meant betraying the Outfit. I’d keep Bibiana’s secret.
For Val.
After my interrogation of Bibiana and finding her innocent, Val and I were on our way home. Rocco and even Giovanni had been suspicious. Bibiana’s story didn’t completely add up but my judgment was final and neither of my men would risk my wrath for someone like Tommaso. He hadn’t left anyone behind who actually missed him. That was my luck.
Val put her hand on my leg, smiling in relief. She was grateful for what I’d done. Her eyes shone brightly.
“Thank you for helping Bibi.”
“I did it for you.” I had hidden Bibiana’s involvement for Val, like I’d risked discontent among my men when I’d allowed her to work. I’d betrayed the Outfit’s interests for Carla and now I was doing the same for Val. How much further would I go for her?
Would I regret betraying the Outfit for Val? I doubted it. I’d never regretted my previous betrayals. Val was worth betraying my oath for.
During our next meeting, Giovanni and I listened as Rocco recounted what he’d gathered on the current mood among our soldiers after we’d found the traitors. A situation like this could either spiral out of control because my men considered me open for attack or it would solidify my power. Tommaso’s death had been an additional risk, one I shouldn’t have taken upon myself. Despite his disgusting nature, he’d been well liked among the Captains and soldiers because of his tendency to offer them free whores. His death had caused the most rumors, the most discord. It could have split the Outfit if the truth had gotten out.
Rocco was still suspicious. He was too cunning not to suspect something. He hadn’t been present during the torture so he was unaware of the details of the conspiracy. Maybe he would even have hidden
the truth like he’d done with Jacopo but I had absolutely no intention of trusting him with another of my secrets.
Arturo knew that neither Raffaele nor Antonio had mentioned Tommaso as part of their plot, but his focus was very single-minded. As long as I allowed him to torture and kill, occasionally even an Outsider that rubbed him the wrong way, he was well entertained and not a threat. Rocco, too, wouldn’t investigate. He had everything he desired.
Things seemed to have gone smoothly, and yet I couldn’t help but feel a sense of foreboding.
“Help! Help!”
Rocco fell silent. I jumped up without hesitation, drawing my gun as I stormed out of my office. Rocco and Giovanni were close behind me.
The moment I saw Valentina cradling her belly, pure fear surged through me. I stormed toward her, pushing my gun away. “Valentina? What’s happening?”
“It’s nothing. I didn’t want to disturb your meeting.”
Valentina’s swaying betrayed her words for what they were, a lie. I steadied her and registered the fluid turning her pants darker. The baby.
Valentina could lose this baby before I’d ever told her how happy I was about her pregnancy. Because of me. Because of what I’d put her through?
Giovanni hurried toward us, his face reflecting the worry that threatened to paralyze me. “Valentina?”
“We need to get her to a hospital,” Bibiana said sharply.
I lifted Valentina into my arms.
“Your shirt. You’re getting it dirty.”
As if I gave a damn. I got us into my car and instructed Enzo and Taft to drive ahead, then I rushed off toward the hospital.