by Reilly, Cora
Valentina was in pain and there was nothing I could do about it, nothing but get her help as fast as possible. “We should have put a towel on the seat. I’m getting it wet,” she said.
Valentina’s skin was pale, her brows drawn together in concern and pain. “I don’t give a fuck about the seat, or the car, or anything right now. You are all that matters.” I needed to touch her, to feel her warm skin and assure myself that she’d still be there tomorrow. I clutched her hand. “We’re almost there. Are you in pain?”
“It’s not as bad as before. It is your baby, Dante. I never cheated and I never will.”
My suspicion became horrible reality at Valentina’s words. “Is that the reason for this?”
Val regarded me curiously. “You think my water broke because I was upset with you?”
“I don’t know.” I’d never forgive myself if Val lost our kid. “I’m a fucking bastard, Val. If you lose this child…”
Val squeezed my hand as if I was the one who needed reassurance. The moment we arrived at the hospital, doctors rushed toward the car. They threw me nervous glances, knowing full well who I was.
I followed them inside but stayed in the hallway when they rolled Valentina into a treatment room. She gave me another encouraging smile. The moment she was gone, I ran a hand through my hair and released a harsh breath. “Fuck.”
Enzo hurried my way. “We’re keeping an eye on the doors for suspicious activities, boss.” He paused, regarding me. A hint of compassion showed in his brown eyes. “Is she all right?”
“The doctors are checking on her now.”
“I’m sure she and the baby will be fine.”
I gave a terse nod, not willing to show how much this unsettled me. Enzo nodded and turned around. I was glad to be alone, even if it gave me time for self-hatred once more. Soon Giovanni and Livia rushed down the corridor toward me. Val’s mother cried openly and Giovanni had to steady her with an arm around her shoulder. When they arrived at my side, Livia hugged me tightly. I touched her back. Giovanni gave me an apologetic smile. “How is she?” he asked.
“And what about the baby?” Livia pulled back but kept clutching my arms.
“I haven’t had a chance to talk to the doctors yet. They’re still treating Val.”
Livia sniffled. “God, I can’t bear the thought of our sweet Val losing her baby.”
“She won’t,” I said firmly.
Giovanni pried Livia away from me and pressed her to his side. “Everything will be fine, Livia.”
The door to the treatment room opened and one of the doctors stepped out followed by the second. They exchanged a look then one of them hurried off, leaving his colleague to deal with us. His expression made it obvious how reluctant he was.
“Is the baby okay?” Livia blurted before he could say something. Giovanni squeezed her shoulder in warning but she had eyes only for the doctor.
The doctor turned to me. “You’re her husband?”
“Yes, paint me the full picture. Don’t sugarcoat anything.”
He winced at my tone. “Your wife suffered a preterm rupture of membranes. She and the baby are well, but for it to stay that way she needs to rest as much as possible.”
Giovanni smiled at his wife, their relief blatant.
Once the doctor had given me clear instructions on how to proceed, he left.
“Go ahead,” Giovanni said. “I’m sure you and Val want some time to yourself.”
I stepped into the room. Val looked pale, but smiled softly at me. I promised myself to protect her and the baby at any cost, to work toward giving Val what she deserved.
As expected, Val couldn’t go full term. Six weeks before the calculated due date, I took her to the hospital for a C-section. I’d made sure that only the best doctors and nurses were present. I wouldn’t allow anything to go wrong. It was almost eight weeks too early and even though the doctors assured me that Anna was in good health under the circumstances, I worried.
I clutched Val’s hand during the surgery and she held my gaze.
And then the first cry rang out. Val’s eyes widened and I squeezed her hand and kissed her knuckles.
A nurse came around with a small baby covered in blood and grime. So small and helpless. My daughter. Our daughter. It was difficult to grasp and yet a sensation I hadn’t thought possible washed through me: a feeling of arrival. As if in this moment I’d finally shaken off the shackles of the past and could really live in the present with my wife and daughter.
Val released me. “Go to our daughter. Go.”
Val was weak and needed my support as much as our daughter did. I needed to be there for them both from this day until I took my last breath. It would be the biggest challenge of my life.
After pressing a kiss to Val’s forehead, I stood and headed toward the nurse. I briefly glanced toward Val’s open belly and the amount of blood around it. The doctor lowered his eyes and continued his work.
I followed the nurse and watched as she measured Anna. She cried pitifully, her tiny arms flailing.
“She’s healthy. 16.7 inches and 3.83 pounds. Do you want to hold her?”
I nodded and then finally I held my daughter for the very first time. She was much smaller than any baby I’d ever held and it fired up my protectiveness. I stroked her cheek, marveling at my feelings toward this small human. How could love be born this quickly?
I glanced over to Val who watched with tearful eyes. My love for her hadn’t been born in a single heartbeat but it didn’t burn less fiercely I realized now. I walked over to Val and showed her our daughter.
“Anna,” Val said. “Your dad will always love you and keep you safe.”
Words lingered on my tongue, words I should have said before but again they got stuck in my throat. I kissed Anna then Val. “You and Anna, both.”
Val gave me a knowing smile. Maybe she did indeed realize that I loved her. One day I’d tell her. I only needed to shake off that tiny strand still anchoring me to my guilt, to my vow to Carla.
I didn’t leave Valentina’s side until the next day when she’d recovered a bit from the surgery and her parents visited. Anna was in the ICU to make sure she got enough oxygen and was under surveillance 24/7. Val was determined to visit her today but her C-section wound would make this difficult.
Giovanni surprised me with a hug when he stepped into the room. “I’m so happy for you two.”
I nodded. Livia headed straight toward Val who lay in bed but looked impatient to get out.
“I’ll have to give my father a call.”
Giovanni went over to Val and embraced her. Seeing Val being cared for, I stepped outside and called my father back. I’d sent him and Pietro a quick message yesterday telling them about Anna, and while Pietro had immediately congratulated me and Val, Father hadn’t replied.
“Father, what is it?” I said in an as neutral a tone as I was capable of knowing what he’d say.
“It’s a shame,” he mused. “But maybe next time you’ll finally be gifted an heir. You shouldn’t wait too long to try for a second child.”
I gritted my teeth against the anger boiling up. Val had only just suffered through a C-section and Anna would need weeks to catch up, but he already wished for another child. “I’m happy with the child Valentina gifted me yesterday. Your granddaughter is beautiful and doing well, considering the circumstances.”
“That’s good. Your mother sends her regards.”
I made a non-committal noise. “Will you come to visit?”
“You know how your mother can get when she’s in a hospital. We’ll wait until the child is home.”
I hung up shortly after and took a deep breath as I loosened my hold on my phone. I wouldn’t allow my parents to diminish the joy I felt over having Anna.
The phone rang again. As usual, Ines had the perfect timing.
“I’m so happy for you! Congratulations from Pietro and me. We’re so excited for you!”
“Thank you. Pietro alread
y sent me your congrats.”
“Per message! That’s not enough. I’m so happy for you. I wish I could hug you and Valentina. How’s Anna? Is she all right?”
I smiled slightly at Ines’ excitement. She was usually more poised. “The doctors are happy with her. She’s breathing on her own and she’s well developed for a preemie.”
“Wonderful,” she said softly. “We’d love to come visit. It’s been too long. I know you’re busy now but maybe Pietro and I can come over with the kids next week? We’d even stay with Mother and Father if you’d rather have the house to yourself.”
“No, you’re welcome in our house. Last time Father didn’t appreciate the boisterous nature of the twins.”
Ines huffed. “They’re only eight, of course they’re a bit wild. Let me guess, he didn’t congratulate you on your daughter?”
“You know how they are,” I said.
“So Mother did what she does best and just followed Father’s example.” She made a small disgruntled noise. “I’m glad you got yourself a wife with her own head. I think it’s exactly what you need.”
“That’s what you think?”
“Yes. You need someone who draws you out of your shell and occasionally kicks your prideful Capo behind.”
My mouth twitched. “You think I’d allow anyone to do that.” Serafina and Samuel screamed in the background, followed by Sofia’s cry.
“Wonderful, they woke the baby.”
“Take care of your children.”
“And you of yours and your wife.”
I returned into the room where Valentina perched on the edge of the bed, her face twisting in pain. Giovanni gave me a worried look. I rolled the wheelchair over then helped Val into it. “You can’t walk all the way to the ICU yet.”
Val’s face made it clear that she was unhappy with her body’s refusal to obey her command. Sometimes she could be as prideful and stubborn as me.
Seeing Anna in the incubator with all the monitors tracking her vital functions, my heart squeezed tightly. A nurse hurried over to us and lifted Anna out of the incubator then put her down on Val’s chest. Val beamed up at me then her parents. Livia started crying once more. Giovanni leaned down and lightly touched Anna’s hand. “Those small fingers…”
Val hadn’t only been a good choice because of who she was, but also because of her parents. Giovanni was a man I liked and could trust to some extent. And Livia would be a far more loving grandmother than my own mother could ever be.
“I think we’ll give you some time now,” Giovanni said after a few minutes. Once he and Livia were gone, I pulled up a chair beside Val and stroked Anna’s cheek. “Did the doctors tell you how long she’ll have to stay here?” she asked, not looking up from our girl.
“Two to three weeks. She’s a fighter, so despite her early start they are confident she’ll be strong enough to come home with us soon.”
“Good. I want her home with us. I feel safer in our house.”
I kissed Val’s temple. “You are safe, Val. My men are watching every entrance. They patrol the corridors, and I’m at your side.”
Val glanced up with a soft smile. “Why don’t you hold her for a bit?”
I nodded then carefully lifted Anna from Val’s chest and cradled her to my own before I reclined on the chair. Val watched us, her eyes glassy. I linked our fingers and squeezed gently. She needed to know that this meant as much to me as it meant to her, even if I didn’t express it in the same way.
Three weeks later, Anna could finally come home with us. I carried her into our mansion because Val still wasn’t allowed to carry anything heavy.
Zita and Gabby waited in the lobby, obviously curious. They hadn’t seen our daughter yet because we’d kept visitors to an absolute minimum. Only Ines and Pietro with the kids and Bibiana had visited beside Val’s parents.
Zita came closer with a motherly smile. “She’s precious.”
Val nodded. “She is.” They exchanged a smile. Their initial animosity had turned to mutual respect, thanks to Val’s patience.
Gabby slowly approached, as usual shy around me. “She’s so small.”
“She’ll grow quickly,” I said. I held the carrier out to Zita who took it at once so I could help Val out of her coat. She still moved a bit stiffly but she was trying to mask her pain from me.
“Your father called, Master,” Zita said as I took the carrier once more. My mouth tightened. “He and your mother want to come over for dinner to meet their grandchild.”
Val raised her eyebrows. She had pretended not to mind my parents’ disinterest for our daughter but I wasn’t blind.
“I wasn’t sure what to do but I bought everything for a grand feast just in case,” Zita said, glancing between Val and me.
I tried to control my anger. Val brushed my arm, giving me a smile, and some of my fury evaporated. “Please prepare something delicious, Zita. We’ll have them over.”
Zita nodded but regarded me questioningly as if she waited for me to confirm. I gave a terse nod.
“Let’s take Anna upstairs.”
Zita and Gabby headed into the kitchen while Val and I moved upstairs. Taking the steps, Val’s face flashed with discomfort but she quickly masked it when she noticed my gaze on her.
Once Anna was settled in her crib, I touched Val’s shoulders. “Val, don’t hide your pain from me. You can lean on me. I need to know when you’re hurt.”
She leaned into me with a shuddering sigh and I cupped her head. She swallowed hard, obviously fighting tears. “These last few weeks were a lot to handle. I’m just happy that Anna’s finally home, and I’m mad at my body for taking so long to recover. I want to be the controlled woman you expect.”
I drew back with a frown. “You are everything I want, Val, trust me. Your body went through so much. You gave me a daughter. Give yourself time to heal. I want you healthy and happy, that’s all I require you to be right now.”
She nodded. “You’re right. I just don’t feel like myself recently. It’s hormones and the changes in my body. I need time to get used to all of this.”
“Maybe it’s for the best to tell my parents we don’t have time to have them over tonight. Neither of them will have a positive effect on your health.”
“I know they’re not happy that I didn’t give you an heir.” My hands on her tightened. “But their disappointment can’t hurt me, Dante. All that matters is us. That we are happy, and I’m delirious with joy whenever I look at Anna.”
“Me too,” I said, kissing her. Before Val, my life had been dominated by duty and controlled by the past. Joy had been an abstract concept of no consequence for me. But slowly, it was becoming part of my existence once more. Her happiness kindled my own. I didn’t regret my betrayal of the Outfit, even if I should have.
It was my duty to put the Outfit first, to eliminate any threat to my power and the Outfit’s unity. Hiding that Bibiana had killed her husband didn’t serve either purpose. It wasn’t the logical, the dutiful, the necessary choice. This was pure emotional ruling. After seeing Val heartbroken over Antonio, I didn’t want to shatter her completely by having to punish her best friend. So I lied and deceived. My men. The Outfit. My vow. Everything. For Valentina.
Did she even realize what kind of sacrifice that was? If she knew, she’d realize that I didn’t have to fake lovemaking anymore.
We spent our first anniversary at home because Anna was still small and the last few months had been tiring. But Zita had prepared a three-course dinner for us and took over watching Anna while Dante and I enjoyed our meal. We sat close beside each other and talked about Anna and our plans to spend a few weeks in Tuscany in summer.
It was a relaxed, intimate evening. I was actually glad that we hadn’t gone out to a fancy restaurant for dinner. When we were in public, Dante always had to keep up his mask. He wasn’t the same man then that he was when we were alone. His outside appearance reminded me too much of the withdrawn man of the beginning of our marriage. I
preferred his warmer, more approachable private side, one he hid so carefully and only showed to the people he trusted.
“I really love this,” I said after I finished a delicious piece of fig tart tatin, a fancy French dessert that tasted like heaven.
Dante tilted his head with a small smile. “The dessert or your gift?”
I laughed, twisting my arm around to see the emeralds in my bracelet catch the candlelight. “Both. But I was actually referring to our celebration.”
Dante ran his thumb over my knuckles, obviously surprised. “I thought you might expect a bigger celebration for the occasion.”
“No,” I said firmly. “I think this is a concept for the future even when Anna is older and won’t need us close by. I like that it’s just us, no prying eyes.”
Understanding took over Dante’s expression and he pressed a kiss to my hand. “I have to admit I prefer not to share the stunning sight of you in this dress.”
A pleased smile broke free on my face. I leaned toward him. “Are you turning into a flatterer?”
“No, flattering, only the honest truth,” he said in a low voice and a look in his eyes I could feel right between my legs.
I swallowed. “Well, I don’t like to share you with all the gawking women either.”
Dante chuckled. “Now you exaggerate.”
I gave him a look. “I have eyes and so have you. Power and money are the embodiment of sex-appeal, and you combine them with a six-pack. It’s ridiculous.”
Dante stood, holding out his hand in a silent command. “If I didn’t know better, I’d say you’ve had too much to drink. Let’s get you to bed.”
I pushed to my feet with a teasing smile. “I’m not tired.” It was a lie, of course. Anna had kept us awake the last few nights.
Dante pressed a hot kiss to my throat. “You won’t sleep.”
His fingers linked with mine as he led me upstairs.
I’d never grow tired of Dante’s body on top of mine, of him making love to me. Those were the moments I felt the most connected to him and could sense how much he wanted to tell me but couldn’t.