Tormented

by Jani Kay

  “I’m fine. I’ve got a meeting in fifteen minutes, so I can’t talk for long.” My personal assistant had just walked into my office, and she was gesturing to her watch.

  “That’s why I called you at work. I’ve left a few messages, but you haven’t replied.”

  “Sorry, I’ve just been so damn busy. Finding a new place and packing up is so time consuming.” I tried to sound lighthearted and hoped to hell he’d buy into my reason.

  “Ryder told me you were seeing Jade’s brother . . . as in, dating.” Dad went quiet for a moment, then broke the silence with words that cut into me. “The same man who cost Jade and Ryder a baby.”

  Silence crackled down the line as I thought of something to say. I tapped my pen on the desk, my palms sweaty, an uneasy feeling sitting in the pit of my stomach. No words could justify what had happened, but I wanted Bill to at least give Harrison a chance. I didn’t need his approval of whatever man I was with, but deep down I wanted him to be okay with it. He’d introduced me to Nolan, and I knew he was still unhappy about it not working out between us. Secretly, William Ryder would have loved for his daughter to be married to someone he believed was a rising star.

  “Daddy, don’t judge until you get to know him. Harrison is a great guy.”

  He sighed. “So is Nolan.”

  “Please don’t start with that again.” I huffed. “Nolan is a cheater. Can you honestly tell me you’re okay with me marrying a man who’ll probably screw anything in a dress when he has the urge? A man in his position has more opportunity than most, and he’s already proven what he’s capable of.”

  “Well at least he’s not a baby killer.” Bill’s voice was hard and unsympathetic.

  I sucked in a deep breath. That was low, even for my dad. “Oh, and screwing around is okay? But of course, I forget—you are an expert in that field.” Driving the knife deeper, I continued, without even trying to keep the bitterness from my voice. “You and Nolan are two of a kind; that’s why you like him so much.”

  I wanted him to hurt for all the pain he’d put me through. Didn’t he get it that finding out he’d had a long-term affair with Ryder’s mother was the exact reason I couldn’t stomach the thought of my man doing the same to me? It was the one thing I’d never be able to abide in a partner. Not after what my dad did to my dying mother.

  Bill laughed, but there was no humor in it. “I deserved that. I know I hurt you deeply, but what you don’t understand is that it is possible to love two people at the same time. I loved your mom, Eva.”

  “But you also loved Marianne. I can tell just by the look in your eyes when you talk about her.”

  “I can’t deny that I did. Marianne was a free spirit. She awoke something in me that no other person could. I can’t explain it to you; I can only apologize for what I put you through.”

  “It’s still cheating, Daddy. And you broke Mom’s heart. That’s what gets me most.”

  “I know, sweetheart. Don’t you think I wish it could’ve been different? But sometimes a person gets caught up in something that’s bigger than him. I didn’t go asking for it . . . it just happened. The heart has a mind of its own, you know. We can’t choose who we love.”

  His words hit me hard. He was speaking from a place of truth, and I couldn’t hold it against him. Funny thing was, the same thing was happening to me. As much as I was resisting giving my heart to another man, I couldn’t help how a certain guy was creeping under my skin. I was powerless to stop it, no matter how much I told myself I would not fall for Harrison Summers because the man was dangerous in every way possible.

  “I’m beginning to realize that,” I said, nearly choking on the words.

  “Listen, sweetheart, why don’t you bring that man of yours over for a drink and maybe dinner? We can get to know one another better. I promise to suspend my judgment until I know more about him.”

  Even though he couldn’t see me, I nodded. “Okay.” Even though I wasn’t hundred percent sure it was a good idea, we had to start somewhere and I preferred sooner rather than later. I hoped that my father would give Harrison a fair chance and maybe even get to like him. “What day did you have in mind?”

  He cleared his throat. “How about tomorrow night? I don’t have any plans.”

  I opened my diary and flipped the page. I had drinks planned with Emma from work, but she wouldn’t mind if we did it another time. “Oh, I can be free too. I’ll just have to find out if Harrison is available.”

  “Eva?”

  “Yeah?”

  “I love you, sweetheart.” A soft sigh sounded down the line. “I’ll always be your dad. I only want what’s best for you. That’s all.”

  I swallowed hard, biting back the tears burning my throat.

  “I know, Daddy.”

  “I’ll keep an open mind, I promise. But if he hurts my baby girl, I’m going to break his dick.”

  I could hear the smile in his voice. Bill would gladly deliver on his promise. Why were men so damn testosterone-driven?

  Chapter 22 — Harrison

  Sweat trickled down my spine as I pressed the remote’s large red button to lock my car.

  Beep beep.

  Eva’s car wasn’t parked in the driveway as I’d hoped, but maybe she’d arrived earlier and had access to the six-car garage, and hers was inside and out of the Californian sun.

  I rang the bell then combed my fingers through my hair and pulled my shirt straight while I waited for someone to open the door. Squinting in spite of wearing sunglasses, I took a minute to inspect my surroundings.

  Bill Ryder’s impressive Malibu mansion was nothing less than I’d expected—immaculate sprawling gardens and an ocean view to die for, both befitting a music mogul. I shrugged. People who made it big in the industry showing off their wealth through conspicuous consumption was just another way of life in Los Angeles.

  Sucking in a deep, calming breath, I turned when I felt a current of air swoosh past me as the heavy wooden door swung open.

  It wasn’t Eva, who I’d hoped would meet me at the door. Instead, I stared into the guarded and somewhat weathered face of her father. I could see traces of her in him, but mostly I saw Ryder. The thick, straight eyebrows, sharp elegant nose, and generous fleshy lips that were curled up into a courteous smile that didn’t reach his penetrating eyes were so much like Ryder’s that I had to stop myself from staring.

  “Ahhh, Harrison, glad you could make it tonight.” He indicated for me to come inside.

  No handshake? The man wasn’t going to make it easy for me by a long shot.

  I gave him a half smile as I stepped into the cavernous entrance. “Thanks for inviting me over, Mr. Ryder.”

  “Call me Bill. My kids do, so you may as well.”

  “Sure,” I said evenly, not letting his cool demeanor disturb me. In my line of work, I came across people from all walks of life—from the scum-of-the-earth types to those who thought they were better than anyone else, and everything in between.

  I’d learned not to judge a book by its cover, no matter how polished or tattered it appeared from the outside. Looks were deceiving, and anyone could put up a front. For millennia, people had pretended to be what they weren’t.

  It was reading people—their body language and micro-expressions—that was my special talent, and had made me a leader in my field and such a sought-after operative. And it sure as fuck came in handy when trying to impress the father of the woman I was sleeping with. Not that the older Ryder was going to be a pushover. Far from it. He didn’t get to be as successful and wealthy as he was without having the balls that go with making it big in a cutthroat industry. Yeah, I’d done my research on the man. Lucky for me, I had all the resources I needed at my disposal.

  “Let’s go get a drink while we wait for Eva.”

  My stomach dropped to my Italian leather shoes.

  “Eva’s not here yet?”

  Bill had to hear the disappointment in my voice. “No. In fact, I asked her to come an hour
later. Gives us time to have a man-to-man talk and get to know one another a bit.” He chuckled, as if he knew he had won the first round already.

  I had a strange hunch that one thing the father and son had in common were that they didn’t like me. Neither thought I was good enough for Eva. Maybe they were right, but that wasn’t going to stop me from trying to be the man she wanted.

  I followed a few steps behind, drinking in the sheer magnificence of the place I presumed Eva had grown up in. Christ, if this was the lifestyle she was accustomed to, I was seriously in deep trouble. I’d always preferred the simpler things, and this lavish way of living was something I’d read about but never coveted.

  The huge room we entered had one-hundred-and-eighty-degree views of the ocean. That never got old. I loved the ocean, particularly the saltiness on my skin and the fresh smell that could take me back to my childhood in an instant.

  Bill stood in front of a bar that looked like it belonged in a club rather than in someone’s home. It was stocked with every kind of drink imaginable. All top-shelf stuff fit for the rich and famous.

  “What’s your poison?”

  If the atmosphere weren’t so tense, I’d laugh. Bill had hit it right on the nose. Alcohol was poison to me. I loved the shit, but it didn’t love me back. That didn’t stop me from having an intimate relationship with it—especially not when I was sinking like I was in that moment.

  “Errr . . . Jack. Neat.”

  Bill’s lips twisted into a smirk. “You like it strong, huh?”

  Had he already figured me for a drunk? I watched as he took two large crystal glasses from the shelf, wiped them with a white cloth, as if they weren’t gleaming already, and poured us each half a glass from the black labelled bottle. Without a word, he slid mine across the granite top toward me, and then lifted his in a mock salute.

  “Cheers.” He took a tentative sip, grimaced, and then knocked the contents of the glass back in one go without batting an eyelid. Fuck, the man was impressive. Following suit, I copied him, the fiery liquid burning down my throat and warming my insides.

  “Cheers,” I said, as I placed my empty glass on the counter with an irreverent thud. If Bill was trying to outdrink me, he’d met his fucking match.

  “You don’t fuck around, do you?”

  Without missing a beat, I replied, “No. It’s not my MO.”

  Bill laughed. “Yeah, I gathered that.” Without asking, he refilled our glasses, adding ice this time. He pointed to the stool, and I gratefully sat my ass down. This man meant business, and he was going to grill me. I had no doubt in my mind about that.

  “Let’s cut to the chase. Neither of us are the type of man who beats around the bush. So let me ask you straight up. What is your intention with my daughter?”

  Jesus. Fuck. Talk about shooting straight.

  I swirled the ice in my glass, looking at the pattern it made as if it were the most interesting thing I’d ever seen. “If you’re asking if I’m planning to propose any time soon, the answer would be no.”

  “I appreciate your honesty. At least you have that going for you.”

  I smirked. It wasn’t a compliment.

  “What else do you want to know, Bill?” Might as well get it over with.

  “There isn’t much else I don’t know about you. I have a file as thick as the one you have of me sitting on my desk.” His charming smile didn’t reach his eyes. They were cold and calculating, judging me.

  I wasn’t really surprised. The man did his homework, exactly as I’d expect from someone in his position.

  “There is one thing about you that really puts me off.”

  I narrowed my eyes, bracing myself.

  “Yeah?”

  “The way you have no regard for life. It’s unhealthy, and I don’t want a man like you near my daughter.”

  Say what you really mean, Billy Boy.

  “If you’re talking about what happened with Jade—”

  He cut me short. “That’s a tragedy, but I also can see that it was an accident. No. The thing that worries me is how you go into the most dangerous missions . . . expecting to get killed. What kind of man has a death wish so severe he has no regard for his own life?”

  How in fuck did Bill know this?

  Throwing a good portion of the drink left in my glass down my throat, I met Bill’s gaze. “That would be a man who has nothing to live for. A man who had his future ripped out from under him by criminal scum. Not only did those bikers kill Amy and our unborn child, they stole my future and my life.”

  “You’re a twisted bastard, Summers. I don’t want the likes of you anywhere near Eva. She deserves a man who can promise her the best future possible.” His intense gaze burned into me. “Not somebody who is essentially already dead. I never believed in zombies, but fuck me, if you aren’t already the living dead.”

  My back stiffened.

  “It’s what makes me the best of the best at what I do. We can’t fight a powerful enemy if we fear him. Fearlessness is what makes them afraid of us.” I crashed my glass down on the granite top. How the fuck dare he? “I risk my fucking life so that everyone else can sleep safely at night. Ever thought of that, Bill?”

  “Yeah, I understand.” His eyes hardened. “Still, I don’t want you around Eva. You’re going to break her heart, and she doesn’t need that shit. She’s had that done to her before . . . by Nolan and by me. I just don’t want to see her go through that again.” He clamped down on his jaw, gritting his teeth. “Do what you need to do but stay out of Eva’s life. If you don’t love her . . . and I don’t think you’re capable of that emotion, then let her go. Let her find someone who is worthy of her love, someone who can give her everything she deserves.”

  Nausea pushed up into my gut. Bill was right. Eva deserved so much better than me. I could never give a woman like her what she needed, and she sure as hell didn’t need my demons or my brokenness or my darkness.

  “I’ll think about it.” I emptied my glass and slammed it on the table. “Thanks for the talk and the drinks, Bill. I’ll see myself out.”

  I rose to my feet, the whole world spinning on its axis. I grabbed my car keys off the counter and made my way to the door.

  Stopping in my tracks, I turned toward the man who had just shattered my world.

  “Tell me something. Was Eva coming here tonight?”

  Without hesitation, Bill answered. “No. I called her this afternoon and cancelled. She’s out for drinks with a friend from work. Hopefully she meets someone nice. Someone who can take care of her in all the right ways.”

  He fucking lied to me. Smooth, slick bastard.

  “Thank you, Bill. And fuck you too.”

  Normally I wouldn’t get behind the wheel of a car if I were over the limit. This wasn’t a normal day. My life was fucked. I had to let Eva go and let her find the happiness she deserved with a man who could give her everything I never could.

  If I wrapped my drunken ass around a pole it was perhaps the smartest thing I could do. Maybe Bill knew that and had planned it all along by plying me with expensive booze.

  Death would be a blessing. I was so fucking tired of my life. So fucking tired of being stuck in my head.

  So fucking tired.

  Chapter 23 — Eva

  Every damn call I’d made to Harrison’s phone had gone unanswered. Maybe he’d lost his phone. Or maybe he’d been sent on a sudden assignment. Or maybe, just maybe, he’d decided he was tired of me and I just wasn’t worth calling back.

  I had no illusions when it came to Harrison. I already knew I wasn’t the love of his life. Some seventeen-year-old girl who had been immortalized in his mind and heart held firmly onto that position.

  Try as I might, I couldn’t compete with a dead girl. She held all the cards. Every single Ace and every single Joker. She won, hands down. And the fact that she’d been pregnant with Harrison’s baby when she was tragically mowed down was like a double whammy.

  Turning back to the tas
k at hand, I packed the last of the boxes and taped them up. It was the second-last night I’d spend in that apartment. All that was left were the very basics: one plate, one set of flatware, one glass and a mug. The sheets on my bed and my toiletries. Two sets of clean clothes in the closet. The picture in the silver frame of my mother on the nightstand.

  Other than that, the last five years of my life had been packed into cardboard boxes, waiting to be moved to my new home.

  I checked my phone every few minutes, and even called one of my girlfriends I hadn’t spoken to in a while just to make sure the damn thing was still working and that there wasn’t a network problem. I hated feeling this damn vulnerable when a man didn’t call back, and hated that I had to make up stories in my head, looking for excuses for him.

  My back hurt from shifting boxes all the way to the front hallway, so I finally decided to get an early night. I hadn’t had a decent night’s sleep since Dad had cancelled dinner, when Harrison hadn’t called me back after I’d left a message about meeting him in the city for dinner instead.

  Fool.

  Damn.

  There I was thinking he’d be relieved not to meet my dad and spend the night with me instead. I’d even cut short my drinks with Emma and worn sexy underwear.

  Brushing the hair back off my forehead, I wiped the sweat from my brow and ran a shower. I was damn exhausted, and suddenly my bed seemed like the only place on earth I wanted to be. Slipping out of my yoga pants and top, I stepped under the showerhead, welcoming the stream of pulsating water as it pummeled the surface of my skin.

  While I was still busy soaping up my body, my phone rang on the counter. Yeah, I knew steam was bad for electronic devices, but I didn’t want to miss the call when Harrison finally got back to me.

  I quickly dried one hand on a towel and grabbed the phone. The man was going to pay for putting me through all this anxiety.

  “Hello, Mister,” I said in a low voice, trying to sound sexy yet serious.

  A pause.

  “Hey, sexy. God, I missed that voice. Did I ever tell you how much it turns me on?”