by Glines, Abbi
Ashton let out a long sigh then walked around the bar to stand beside me. She wrapped her arm around my waist and squeezed. “When you want to talk, rant, or even cry, I’m here.”
My eyes welled up, and I swallowed the lump in my throat. I didn’t like people thinking I was weak. I’d never been one to share my emotions; I kept things inside, dealt with them on my own. But knowing someone was there and cared—it meant a lot, more than she would ever know. I rested my head against hers, and we stared out at the backyard together in silence. There wasn’t much more to say. Just having someone there next to me made things so much easier.
SAWYER
Beau: What days do you have to be in Florida for practice?
Me: Three days a week, starting in July.
Beau: Bama is the same. We’ve really only got June to take that camping trip.
Me: I’m ready when you are.
Beau: You talked to Lana?
Me: Not today. Just got back from working out at the field house.
Beau: Ash is spending the morning with her. She’s got some shit going on with her parents.
I stared down at Beau’s last text. Lana being upset made me anxious. I wasn’t sure I liked that. I didn’t have time for anything more than a summer fling.
Me: I’ll call her. Thanks.
Beau: Be careful with her.
I didn’t respond. This wasn’t his business. During the end of my relationship with Ashton he’d been more involved than he should have been, but I’d let it slide because Ash was a part of his life too. But Lana . . . She was not his concern. Throwing the phone down on the bed, I headed to the bathroom for a shower. I’d already planned out a day where I could have Lana all to myself anyway. It had been my inspiration while running up and down the bleachers one hundred times.
* * *
“Where you headed, sweetheart?” called my mom from her office as I passed it on my way to the garage. I’d hoped to sneak by her without having to answer her questions. She’d been upset when Ashton had broken up with me; she’d been even more upset when she’d found out Beau had been my replacement. We’d spent a lot of time in counseling together to deal with my dad’s dishonesty and find a way to face the truth without ripping our family apart. I still wanted Dad to reach out to Beau, but he wouldn’t. There was no way Beau was going to make the first move. He had a lot of well-deserved bitterness inside him where my dad was concerned.
“I’m headed to pick up Lana—you remember Ashton’s cousin from Georgia. We’re going to Mobile to do some shopping for camping gear and maybe catch a movie or something.”
Mom tilted her head and frowned. “Isn’t Lana the daughter of that crazy sister of Sarah’s?”
I didn’t know much about Lana’s mom other than that Ashton was not a fan. Shrugging, I shoved my hands in my pockets. “Lana isn’t crazy. That’s all that matters.”
“Hmmph . . . well, don’t get too attached. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.”
My aunt Honey’s voice had rung in my ears not too long ago when she’d said the same thing about my dad and Beau. Scowling, I replied, “Yeah, I realized that when I found out Dad was unfaithful and then lied about it to those he was supposed to love.”
My mother’s back went ramrod straight. I hated the hurt look I’d put in her eyes. She didn’t deserve my anger. She’d been a victim too.
“Sorry, Mom—”
“I shouldn’t have butted into your business. You’re right. Go have fun. Enjoy yourself this summer. Everything changes this fall. There’s a big sea out there with lots of fish, and now you and Ashton have moved on. It’s time you start sampling the variety.”
Mom had loved Ashton. I think she may have even picked out our china patterns at one point. Hearing her say that I needed to start “sampling the variety” was a major step for her. I walked across the room and bent down to place a kiss on the top of her head.
“Love you,” I said before turning to leave.
“I love you, too, sweet boy,” she replied.
“You heard from Cade and Catherine? He hasn’t texted me this week.”
My brother was normally pretty attached to me, but he’d turned thirteen this year and he didn’t seem to need me so much anymore. Catherine was different. She was a momma’s girl. I didn’t expect her to call or text me.
“Catherine called this morning. They are having a good time. Cade has made friends with the little girl next door. Catherine said she and Gaga are shopping a lot.”
Gaga was my mother’s mother. She was much better with girls than she was with boys. I cleared my throat and leaned a hip against the desk. “You do realize that thirteen-year-old boys don’t ‘make friends’ with little girls. They are hooking up. I was real aware of girls when I was thirteen. Those were my Nicole years, remember?”
Mom cringed. “I’d forgotten about that. Maybe I should call Gaga and talk to her. I keep thinking he’s my little boy, but he’s a teenager now, isn’t he?”
Chuckling, I stood up and patted her hands she’d started wringing. “Yep, Momma, he’s a teenager all right and I’d be willing to bet he and the girl next door aren’t playing Monopoly with all their free alone time.”
“Oh God. I’m calling Gaga now,” she announced reaching for the phone.
I’d done my big brother duty. It was time to go see Lana.
Chapter 12
LANA
“No, Daddy,” I said. “It isn’t that I don’t want to be there. I do. It’s just that I’ve never been in New York City, and I’ve never met Shandra. I’d feel more comfortable if I could bring someone with me.”
“You can bring anyone but your mother,” my dad said. “I don’t want to have to deal with her. I do want you to make time to spend with Shandra. She really wants to get to know you. We’ve got some special news for you.”
“Special news?”
Dad cleared his throat, covered the receiver on his phone, and spoke in a muffled voice to someone else. What other news could he have? He’d already dropped the marriage bomb on me. Surely, they weren’t moving to Alpharetta. That would be disastrous. My mother would not be able to leave the house without thinking everyone was talking about her or pitying her.
“Shandra wants me to go ahead and tell you. That way you can be prepared when you get here.”
“Okay . . . ,” I replied, waiting with a sick knot in my stomach.
“You’re going to be a big sister,” he replied. His excitement was unmistakable.
“What? How? Does Shandra have a kid?” Nothing else made sense. Why would he think I’d be excited over a stepsibling I’d never get a chance to know?
“No, Shandra doesn’t have a kid . . . yet. You know how. You’re eighteen years old, Lana. You know how babies are made . . . don’t you? I assumed your mother explained that—”
“I know how babies are made, Daddy. What I don’t understand is . . . Wait . . . She’s pregnant?” I asked in horror. My dad had gotten someone pregnant? He was almost fifty! Could old men do that? Ugh! Yuck. He was going to be like the kid’s grandfather.
Dad chuckled into the phone. “Yes, Shandra is pregnant. We’d planned on getting married this Christmas. She loves Christmas in New York, but, well, the baby will be here by Christmas, so instead of waiting, we decided to go ahead and have a summer wedding.”
I was speechless. How did one respond to this kind of news? I sank down on the back-door steps of Ashton’s house and rested my forehead on my knees.
My dad continued to chatter on about the wedding and baby plans. They would be moving out of Manhattan and to New Jersey so that they could afford a house. I wouldn’t have a room, but I could share the baby’s room when I came to visit. He told me I was welcome anytime.
“Lana?” Sawyer’s voice was a welcome distraction.
Lifting my head, I stared up at Sawyer who was standing in front of me with a worried frown. I wondered how much he’d heard.
“Daddy, I need to go. My, uh, friend j
ust got here, and we have plans. I’ll call you back later when I’ve decided what to do.”
“You are coming though—”
“I’m not sure, Daddy. I need to go now. I’ll call when I know.” I clicked end before he could say any more. I couldn’t yet stand up to leave; I needed a moment.
“You okay?” Sawyer asked, lowering himself to sit down beside me since it was obvious I wasn’t about to get up.
I started to nod and ended up shaking my head instead.
His arm wrapped around my shoulders, and he pulled me up against his side. That small offer of comfort caused my eyes to fill with tears. I buried my head into the curve of his arm and tried to muffle the sobs I couldn’t control.
Sawyer didn’t try to offer me any encouragement or pointless words. Instead he held me tighter and dropped small kisses on my hair, temple, and forehead as I cried in his arms. I’d never really cried on anyone before. Opening myself up to sharing my emotions was new for me. The part of me that was shocked by my father’s behavior was pushed aside as I soaked in all the comfort I could get. It would be fleeting, but while I had it, I would take it.
After several minutes, I managed to control my tears. Reaching up, I wiped my face. Thankfully, Dad had called me before I had a chance to put on makeup. I’d have been humiliated if I’d smeared mascara all over Sawyer’s white polo shirt.
“You want to talk about it?”
Sharing with Sawyer how my dad had a pregnant twenty-three-year-old fiancée wasn’t something I’d ever do. It was too much for me to take in. I didn’t want to see pity in his eyes when he looked at me. I preferred the lust or attraction. If he pitied me, I wouldn’t be able to deal with it.
“No,” I replied, sitting back up and checking to see how wet I’d gotten his shirt.
“I’ll dry,” he said with a smile. I could still see the concern in his eyes as he searched my face. Part of me wanted him to know everything about me, except that a bigger part knew he’d never look at me the same if he was aware how pathetic my life really was.
“Thank you.”
Sawyer leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on each corner of my mouth before covering my mouth with his. He didn’t try to get me to open up for him. Instead he kept it gentle and sweet. “Mmm—I’ve been thinking about those sweet lips all morning,” he whispered against my mouth.
Melting into him was easy and unavoidable. I couldn’t seem to get enough of Sawyer. He pulled back way before I wanted him to, and he ran his hand through my hair before wrapping several curls around his fingers. “Why don’t you go finish getting ready? I’m anxious to get you all to myself for the day.”
My legs suddenly were in complete working order again. I stood up and smiled down at him. “Give me ten minutes.”
Sawyer stood up and started to follow me inside when he stopped. “Um, yeah, uh, I think I’ll just wait in the truck if that’s okay.”
Ashton wasn’t inside. She’d left with Beau an hour ago, but I knew that wasn’t why he didn’t want to come inside. There had to be a lot of memories in this house that he wasn’t ready to revisit right now.
“Okay, I won’t be long,” I assured him.
SAWYER
Pulling onto the dirt road that led out to the field seemed like a bad decision. I’d just spent the day with Lana, all alone. We’d bought her a sleeping bag, backpack, and a few other supplies for our camping trip. Then, instead of a movie, she’d talked me into playing eighteen holes of putt-putt golf. It had sounded like a stupid idea, but listening to Lana’s laughter and seeing her strut around when she’d gotten a hole-in-one had been more entertaining than any movie.
“I haven’t been to one of these since . . . ” She trailed off, biting her bottom lip.
At the last field party Lana had gone to, she’d covered for Beau and Ashton. When I realized that Lana had known Beau and Ash were messing around behind my back and hadn’t told me, I’d been upset. I’d always thought she was on my team. It wasn’t her fault; I had moved on enough now to see that clearly. Reaching across the seat, I grabbed her hand.
“The last time was when Beau and Ash were messing around behind my back. Although you covered for them that night, it wasn’t your fault. No worries, okay?”
She let her bottom lip pop free of her teeth; it appeared red and swollen. Well, damn, that was just too tempting. I let go of her hand, slid my hand between her thighs, and pulled her over to me.
“That’s better. You were too far away,” I whispered before I bent my head so that I could pull her bottom lip into my mouth and gently suck on it. The surprised little noise she made had me pulling her closer. I let my hand slip farther between her bare legs and squeeze the soft skin of her thigh in my hand.
Lana pressed her chest against mine and made a pleading noise in her throat. Picking her leg up, I draped it over my knee and slid my hand up a little higher inside her thigh. Her breathing hitched, and I realized my heart was racing the closer I got to the edge of her underwear.
“No, don’t,” Lana said breathlessly as she gave me a gentle push breaking the kiss. She quickly slid her leg off my knee and closed her legs. I’d been really close to doing something I hadn’t done but once in my life, when I’d been in seventh grade and had been a little confused as to why Nicole wanted me to touch her underwear.
“I’m sorry,” I said, sitting back in my seat and focusing on the trees in front of me instead of checking to see if she was mad at me—or worse, terrified. I needed to get ahold of my pounding heart first. I’d been so close, and she’d been so warm.
“Don’t be sorry. I just . . . I’ve never done anything like that before, and I got a little nervous. I’m not sure I’m ready for that.”
Her small hand covered mine, and my tightened fist released under her touch.
“Me either,” I replied, finally turning to meet her eyes.
Her eyes widened in surprise. “You either—what?”
I let out a chuckle and flipped my hand over so that our palms were touching. Then I threaded my fingers through hers. “I’ve never done anything like that before. Unless you count in seventh grade when Nicole locked us in Kayla’s closet during a game of spin the bottle and forced me to touch her panties or she’d tell the whole school I was too scared to kiss her.”
A small bubble of laughter escaped Lana’s mouth, and she slapped her free hand over it to keep from laughing out loud. I smiled and squeezed her hand. It was a funny story.
“Let me tell you. What we almost did blew that very strange and disturbing memory out of the water.”
This time the laughter was too loud to cover up with her hand, and I reached over and pulled it from her mouth. “Don’t. I like to hear you laugh. And that is one helluva funny story. So laughing is expected.”
“I can’t believe Nicole threatened you,” she said, still laughing softly.
“Really? Have you met Nicole? She was determined to lose her virginity before high school if at all possible. I think Beau may have helped her reach that goal in eighth grade.”
“Oh, my.” Her laughter faded away and a serious thoughtful expression replaced it.
“What’s going through that head of yours now?”
A forced smile immediately appeared on her lips. “Nothing, sorry.” She glanced out at the bonfire in the distance between the pecan trees. “You ready to get out?”
She was very closed off about a lot of things. The more she didn’t want to tell me, the more I wanted to know about her.
Her phone began singing some sappy love song I’d heard before on the radio, and she reached into her purse and pulled it out. Instead of answering it, she quickly turned it off and slipped it back inside the pocket of her purse.
“No one important?” I asked, wanting her to share something, anything, with me.
She shook her head and reached for the door handle. “Nope. No one I can’t call back later.”
I watched as she jumped down out of my truck before I got out on my
side. Lana McDaniel held everything close. I wondered if I’d ever really know what she was thinking.
* * *
Sitting on the tailgate of Jake’s truck with Lana tucked between my legs, I was satisfied. Ash curled up in Beau’s lap wasn’t even on my radar. I’d managed to talk to everyone, Beau included. We discussed football, college, and our camping trip without any problems. It was nice. Lana was nice. No, Lana was more than nice. Having her in my arms made everything bearable.
“Heads up. Kyle and Nic just got here,” Ethan said, before taking another swig of his beer. Nicole hadn’t been around much since Beau and Ash had hooked up. She’d made a go for me a few times. Once, I’d even been tempted to take her out to my truck one night and just screw her. Get it over with. But I couldn’t do it. I didn’t want my first time to be with Nicole in the back of my truck at a field party. I’d waited this long—I could wait longer. Ash was supposed to have been my one and only. But that plan was over. I figured one day the right girl would come along, and when that happened, the place wouldn’t be important—just as long as it was with the one person I couldn’t live without.
“She’s coming this way,” Kayla said smugly. The girl loved drama. With Nicole around, drama was bound to follow.
“You wanna go, baby?” Beau asked Ashton, starting to shift so she could up.
“No. I’m not scared of Nicole, Beau. What’s she going to do to me? Hmm?” Beau chuckled and leaned in to give Ashton a kiss on the nose. My chest ached only slightly at the sight of them, but nothing like the times in the past when I’d been unable to take a deep breath when he kissed her.
“Well, look at the Vincent boys. Getting along. Both of you all snuggled up to girls, no one trying to beat up the other one. Looks like Sawyer has moved on, Ash,” Nicole drawled out as she winked at me and sauntered over to stop in front of Lana who stood in her way.
“Since you’ve gotten over your Ashton depression, why don’t you and I go out one night and have some fun?”