Traced: Bryton & Roya (Oak Springs Book 4)

by Lucy Rinaldi

  How in the hell is it fair for a woman almost three times my age to look a million times better than I do?

  Bryton's father looks his age, although he's just as perfectly clean and glossy as his wife. I know Paul isn't Chase's father but he certainly has a look about him that would tell a person who didn't know any better that he could be his father. It's really odd to me because he looks more like Chase than Bryton.

  “Grandma!” I can't help but smile as Aidan runs to his grandmother and hugs her. She must be good with her grandchildren, even little Harper is running to her. Harper. Named after my sister Callie, our surname given to the little girl who wouldn't have been if my sister hadn't saved her mother's life and taken hell from a man who wanted Emilee dead.

  My sister went through hell, and what Sidney told me happened to Callie cut me deeply, and I'm not ashamed to say I cried all night in Bryton's arms because of it.

  Of course, I'd noticed a faint scar on Callie's face, but I never mentioned it, it wasn't my place. I really hope I get to talk to her soon. I want her to know how proud I am of her, my big sister who sacrificed herself for her friend. My little boy's aunt. Funny, both of them are his aunts. How crazy is that?

  “It's so good to see you, my little baby angels.” I snap out of thought, my arm tightening around Bryton's waist for support. He again kisses my head, making me smile. “Would you mind if I meet Jaxson?” Hearing my baby whimper in fear, and seeing him wrap his arms tighter around Bryton's neck makes the ache in my chest deepen. “Bryton.” She says with a kiss to his cheek.

  “Mom. Dad.” Bryton shakes his father's hand and I watch as his parents take a seat on the couch opposite us. We retake our seats and Bryton turns Jaxson on his lap. I can see the frightened tears in his eyes, his little mouth is open as he cries quietly. I can't bear it, I just can't.

  “This is Jaxson.” His mother has tears in her eyes but for a very different reason to me. “Jaxson, can you say hello?”

  He shakes his head and sobs.

  “Mommy.” He whispers softly.

  I take him from Bryton and hold him close to my chest. I know I have to break him of this habit but it hurts to see him crying like this. His whole life it's been just him and me, and I know this is my fault, the reason he's like this. But I am his mommy and I won't sit by and watch him cry like this. He's had a lot to deal with these past few weeks, and I am so proud of him for trying so hard. But he's just a little boy who needs his mommy. He feels safe with me. Just as he always should.

  “He's a little shy.” I offer in way of explanation. “He doesn't interact well with people. But he's learning.”

  “I understand.” His mother smiles at me. “Are you two in a relationship?” She asks Bryton rather than me. No, we are not in a relationship! Ugh. I guess in a way we are, we've slept together a few times now. But that doesn't mean we're in a relationship.

  “Would it be a problem to you if we were?”

  “Of course not, Bryton. She's pushed you out of your son's life for long enough. At least if you're together she won't be able to do that anymore.” What the fuck?

  “She didn't push me out of my son's life.”

  “Really? Then where was she for the last four years?”

  “Raising my son! Look,” He leans forward in his seat. I stroke Jaxson's back in comfort, and he hums into my neck. Something he always does when he's not feeling happy. “Roya has done nothing wrong here. She's been fantastic. She's raised my son all on her own without anyone's help at all. He's the well-adjusted, smart little boy he is thanks to her. She had every right to never let me have anything to do with Jaxson after what I did.”

  “What you did?” He father asks.

  I take his arm, he turns to look at me and I shake my head. He doesn't need to do this. He doesn't need to tell them what happened between us.

  “It's okay,” He smiles, letting me know that he needs to do this for his own piece of mind. “When Roya told me she was pregnant, I handed her two hundred dollars and told her to get rid of the baby.” His mother gasps. Emilee's mouth is hanging open in shock, and Chase and Paul's eyes are burning holes into Bryton. Even though I know Chase already knew this information.

  I know what he did was shitty, but he was young, I was young. Things have happened that neither Bryton nor I can change. So what's the point in dwelling on the past? Nothing we do now will ever change what happened between us, but we can build a better future for our son.

  “That's not the worst of it. After I handed over the money, I walked away from her. I literally walked away from the woman I loved because I was a selfish brat who thought of nothing and no one but himself.”

  I sit cradling my son as Bryton tells his parents all about the hell Jaxson has been through in his short life. Tears fall freely and unashamedly from his mother's eyes as she listens intently to her son speak.

  It hurts hearing him talk about Jaxson's illnesses and how they've affected him. Everything he went through was sheer hell. Yes, he's finally cancer free but the fear of it coming back will forever haunt me.

  “Uncle Chase?” This is the first thing my baby has said since his daddy started talking. Of course, everyone stops talking and all eyes turn to Jaxson, his little head on my chest but eyes on his uncle.

  “Yes, little buddy?”

  “Can I have a drink, please? My head is hot and my throat hurts.”

  Before Chase can answer, I gently grab my baby's face in my hands and lift him to look at me. “Jaxson, look at mommy.” My heart is pounding, if he's getting sick, I need to get him home and on his oxygen machine for a little while. Having half your lung removed is hard for anyone, but my son is only four and he's still recovering from the operation. “Baby, where does it hurt?”

  “Is he okay?”

  “I don't know, Bryton.” I don't mean to sound agitated, but this is my son, my world. “Jaxson, please answer mommy. Where does it hurt?” He touches his side where the scar from the operation to remove part of his lung lies. “Can you tell mommy what number the pain is?” He holds up three of his little fingers, and I take them in my hand and kiss them.

  Jaxson was taught by a nurse the level of pain he feels through numbers. Three isn't too bad, more of an ache. It may have a lot to do with the way he's been sitting against both his father and me for the past hour and a half.

  “Okay, sweetheart. Can you stand up for a moment?” He nods. I stand him on is feet in front of me. I know everyone is looking at me, but I pay no attention, my son is more important right now. “Do you remember what we taught daddy about your medication?” He nods and giggles. Good. He's giggling. This is nothing serious. “What did we teach him, Jay-Jay?” He giggles again, making me smile. He loves it when I call him Jay-Jay. It's his superhero name.

  He turns his little eyes to Bryton, who's smiling lovingly at Jaxson. I love seeing that look in his eyes. I honestly never thought I'd see any such look. If I'm honest, I never thought Jaxson would ever get the chance to know Bryton at all. I'm happy that they have each other now.

  “When it hurts here,” he points to his side, “and mommy isn't home, and I am with daddy, then daddy has to give me my green medicine from my special bag. Daddy, you gots my bag?”

  “I got it, bud.” Bryton holds up Jaxson's medicine bag, and I watch in awe of the two of them.

  “You member what you gots to do next, Daddy?” His little mixed up accent and his authoritative manner gets him a chuckle from the room.

  “Of course,” I watch Bryton pull the liquid medication into a baby syringe to the right amount before holding it up. “What's next, Jax?” Ugh, I hate when he shortens my baby's name to Jax. If I wanted to name him Jax, I would have! But Jaxson doesn't seem to mind. Typical.

  Jaxson points to his mouth and giggles. After taking his medication he turns and asks Chase why he still hasn't gotten him a drink. Much to the amusement of the whole room.

  Eleven

  Bryton

  This right now, spending time alon
e with my son, is what I call perfect. I brought Jaxson to the park after he got a little upset at my brother's place. Meeting my mother and father was all well and good, but the moment Roya left to meet with the Harper's, her family – shocking, I know – Jaxson had a total meltdown. He screamed the fucking house down. He ran after her, clinging to her and begging her not to leave him. It broke my heart to see him like that.

  Can't deny that their bond is just beautiful, though.

  It took a while for Roya to convince Jaxson that she'd be right back for him, that he was safe with me, his father. I took him from her arms as she tried not to cry. He clung to me and I watched her drive away from us.

  I knew I needed to take his little mind off missing the mother he adores. That's why I bid my family goodbye for now. Not that my mother wanted me to leave, she thought she'd be able to spend more time with Jaxson without Roya around. Just to get to know him a little better. But the second she asked me to stay a little longer, my son burst out into tears again and begged me to take him home. My mother smiled and told me to go.

  I strapped him in his car seat and drove over to the park. As soon as I pulled up in the carpark his little eyes lit up. He held my hand as I led him over to the swings. But Jaxson wanted nothing more than to sit on the park bench next to me. Of course, I've asked him repeatedly if he wants to play, but he just keeps shaking his head.

  “Daddy?”

  I turn to look at my son with a smile on my face. I'll never tire of hearing that word from his mouth. He's changed my whole world, and it's all for the better. I've known him only a couple weeks and I'm already a better man because of him.

  “What is it, little man?”

  “Are you going to leave mamma and me?”

  “Why would you think that, sweetheart?”

  “'Cause we always be alone.” He swings his little legs back and forth while wringing his hands together. “Mamma told me that I am all she needs in the world. But that is not true.”

  “What do you mean, Jax?” I ask while stroking the back of his head.

  “Mommy is sad a lot. She been trying to find her mommy and daddy. Did she find them?” I nod with a smile.

  Roya had explained everything to me about why she was really here, to find her birth family. I couldn't believe it when she told me how she had been abducted as a baby and how the Harper's where her real parents. I don't know how she's managed to keep that to herself all this time, but she told me she'd kept her distance because she wanted Jaxson and me to settle into our relationship before she even considered approaching them.

  Like I said before, she's so selfless, always putting Jaxson first in everything she does. She's amazing. My son is a lucky little boy.

  “She has a mommy and daddy now?” Again, I nod. “Just like me.” He says more to himself.

  “Jaxson, can you look at daddy, please?” Slowly he looks up at me. His little eyes are filled with sadness. A sadness I don't quite understand, but I want to try. “Tell me why you think daddy will leave you?”

  He shrugs his little shoulders. “Nobody loves us.”

  My eyes close on me as I look up to the sky for a second. My son believes that he and his mother aren't loved. How in the hell can this be? Jaxson and Roya have been alone Jaxson's entire life, and because of that, he believes they aren't loved. I can't fucking stand it, it's breaking my heart. I will not let my boy believe that his mother is the only person in this world to love him. Not when I do more than life itself.

  I lift him onto my lap so he's facing me, he's looking up at me in wonder. “Lots of people love you, Jaxson. Uncle Chase and Auntie Emile, Aidan and Harper. All of mommy's new friends, all of daddy's friends. Your mommy's parents and brothers and sisters are going to love you. And Daddy loves you so much, Jax. You are the most important person in the world to me, just as you are to your mommy.”

  “But who loves my mommy, Daddy?” He sobs a little and tears fall from those big blue eyes of his, cutting me wide open. I could just cry myself seeing him this upset. God, he loves his mother so much.

  “I love your mommy, Jaxson. Daddy loves you both so very much. And now mommy has her parents and brothers and sisters to love her. You will never have to be alone again, my boy, I promise.”

  He nods his head. “I don't want mommy to be sad anymore. She cries in bed at night when I am posed to be asleep. I hear her. Why my mommy have to cry, Daddy?”

  I pull him against my body and hold him close and tight. Roya is a wonderful mother and she'd be heartbroken if she knew Jaxson had been hearing her crying at night. She's had so much to deal with since Jaxson's birth, so much and all alone. I can never take the pain of all of that away from either of them, but I can be here for them now. This is my family, mine, and I'm going to make sure I never lose them again.

  “I'm so sorry that you heard your mommy crying, Jax. I think sometimes, mommies just get a little sad when they see their babies sick or sad. But do you know what?” He shakes his head against my chest as he clings to me. “I'm going to make sure that both you and your mommy don't have to be sad any longer.” He looks up at me curiously. “I have a very big thing to ask you, Jaxson. I need your help with something, a surprise for mommy.”

  “A big surprise?” I nod with a smile. “What is it? I can help. I want to help.”

  “Well, it goes something like this...”

  Twelve

  Roya

  This feels so awkward. It shouldn't feel awkward. How am I supposed to feel meeting my father for the first time? I'm sitting on Sidney's couch waiting for Keller to arrive. Her house is beautiful, old-fashioned yet so very modern at the same time. She has so many framed pictures of her children on the walls, my brothers, and sisters.

  On the wall above her open fire, she has a huge mirror either side of that mirror are six pictures. Each picture is of a small child. A picture of my siblings arranged fashionably. Sidney points out each child, even me when I was a baby. I can't believe how much we all look alike. Wait, correction, how much I looked like Kory.

  On the wall opposite is a large canvas of Sidney and Keller sitting on a small chaise, me as a baby in my mother's arms, Lora standing to her right, Della sitting on Keller's lap, Callie to his right, and both boys behind them, everyone smiling wide.

  This place is so homely, there's so much evidence of children once living here, playing here, being loved here. So much evidence of grandchildren playing here.

  It's strange to think that I once lived here. That I was a baby here being loved by my parents. My childhood, my teenage years, everything was stolen from me, stolen from my parents. I feel so sad for everything that's been taken, everything we can't get back.

  There are no words to describe the pain inside of me right now. But I know I can let it go very soon. Speaking to my father will help, having my siblings finally know who I really am will help me close the door to the past. I want to move forward. I want my family in my life. I want them to accept me, to love me the way I have always loved them. Well, from the moment I found out about them at least.

  “Can I get you anything, darling?” I shake my head at Sidney. I can't seem to get my words out. My mouth is so dry. “Let me get you some water.” She says with a smile when I lick my dry lips. I nod with a smile on my face.

  She's back within seconds with a tall glass of ice water. She hands it to me and I take a huge gulp. “Thank you,” I really needed that.

  I place the glass on the small oak table beside me just as the front door opens and closes. Sidney gives me an excited toothy smile and takes my hands, pulling me to my feet.

  Christ, what the hell do I look like?

  Do I look okay?

  Will he like me?

  How is he going to react to seeing me again after all this time?

  The same things keep rushing through my head over and over. Then he walks into the room dressed in his full sheriff's uniform, hat in his hand, and I see myself in him. His hair is almost completely gray, but I would expect not
hing else from a man of his age. His eyes are locked with mine and I am trying so hard not to cry and run at him. As much as I have longed for my real mother, I have never had a father. When I found out about him, I longed, yearned to know him. And now he's standing in front of me and I can hardly breathe.

  “She's home, Keller. Our baby is home.” I hadn't even realized Sidney had pulled away from me and walked up to her husband.

  I watch as he wraps his arms around her and kisses her head, but he doesn't take his eyes from me. It's like he's looking into my soul. I know I'm not a baby anymore but I have a feeling inside of me that tells me I remember the way he once loved me, the way he once held me.

  “Look how beautiful she is.”

  “I can see.” His voice is deep, strong.

  I swallow hard when he kisses his wife and walks toward me. My eyes dart from a smiling Sidney to a stern looking Keller. My heart is beating out of my chest and throat, and I'm not sure I won't throw up.

  I flinch, not meaning to when he takes my face in his hands. His eyes search mine.

  What are you looking for, Daddy?

  “Where have you been, sweetheart?” His voice is low, and I'm not even sure if that was an actual question, but the tears are falling from my eyes. I feel so overwhelmed right now. “I knew it was you. Every time I saw you in town, I just knew.”

  “You did?”

  “Of course I did. I would know my own child anywhere. I didn't think you knew and that's why I didn't approach you. But I planned to. I had no idea you knew who you truly were. My little Abi.” I sob as he pulls me into his arms. God, he's so strong for a man of his age. But then I guess he needs to be in his line of work.

  After taking a seat and talking about how good it is to finally know each other. They tell me all about the heartbreak they felt in losing me. The hell they went through in the following months after my abduction.