She doesn’t respond. Her gaze doesn’t even leave the page in front of her. She just raises her eyebrows and laughs, shaking her head. I don’t think I have ever made such a bad impression on someone, and of course, it’s the one person who managed to reach in and captivate me in a millisecond.
What the fuck just happened?
THE MUSIC BEATS LOUDLY into my ears but it’s as if nothing is playing at all. I try to focus on the way Bree’s body grinds against mine, putting pressure on all the right spots. It’s no use. I can’t seem to get the thoughts of Kayleigh out of my mind. It’s been hours since I laid eyes on her, and no amount of shots or making out with a hot little blonde can rid me the memory.
When nothing else works, I turn to the one person I’ve always known to fix my problems. Taking out my phone and scrolling to his contact, I type out a text I never thought would come from my fingertips.
Me: Bran, I think I met the girl of my dreams today.
Unsurprisingly, my phone starts to ring within a few minutes of sending the message. I speak lowly into Brianna’s ear and tell her know that I need to take this. She nods, going to find Taylor as I make my way outside.
“Hello?” I answer.
“Okay, what!?” Brandon practically shouts into the phone, making me laugh.
I step off the porch and start walking down the street, not wanting anyone to overhear me. Once I’m far enough away, I take a seat on the curb and run my free hand over my face.
“I don’t know, man. I can’t explain it.”
I can practically heart his smile through the phone. “Well, you could start by telling me who she is.”
“Bree’s roommate.”
“Bree as in the girl you’ve been seeing the past week?”
“That’s the one.”
He chuckles. “Well, you’ve always been one for complicated, but I guess it’s not too bad. I mean you’ve only been seeing this girl a week. Break it off, wait a couple weeks, then ask out the roommate.”
Looking up at the sky, I exhale. “I don’t think it’s going to be that easy.”
“Why not?”
“Because I made a complete ass of myself when I met her.”
“W-what?”
“I know!” I say exasperatedly. “She’s the one girl I’ve met who hasn’t completely melted at the sight of me and I panicked. I didn’t know what the hell to do. Then I basically made it worse by shoving my tongue down Bree’s throat in front of her.”
“Wow.” He snickers. “You really did butcher your chance, didn’t you?”
“You’re not helping.”
“Sorry, sorry.” He composes himself. “Well, next time you see her, try apologizing.”
“You think that will work?”
“It’s worth a shot. What’s the worst that could happen?”
An image of Kayleigh slapping me across the face pops into my head. “Oh, I’m sure a few things.”
He laughs. “Look, H. You just met this chick tonight. Maybe when you see her again, she won’t have this kind of effect on you.”
“Yeah, you’re probably right.” I push my hair out of my face. “What do I do about Bree in the meantime, though? She’s introducing me to people as her boyfriend.”
“Yikes. Does she even know you at all?”
I shrug, despite the fact that he can’t see me. “Apparently not.”
“Well, I wouldn’t make any decisions yet. No point in ruining a good thing for something you’re unsure of.”
“Bran, she said I’m her boyfriend.”
“And did you die?” The amount of sarcasm is overwhelming.
I roll my eyes and start to stand up. “Yeah, yeah. Alright. I’ve got to get back to the party. Thanks for the advice.”
“Anytime, H. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
IN THE MORNING, I drive Bree back to her dorm. We don’t talk about how drunk I got last night, and I certainly don’t mention that I closed my eyes during sex and pictured her friend underneath me. She kisses me goodbye and goes into the building. Just as I’m about to pull away, I notice a familiar brunette walking out the doors.
God, she’s even more beautiful with her hair down.
Before I can convince myself otherwise, I’m throwing my car back in park and opening the door. I jog towards her. As soon as I’m close enough, I call out her name.
“Kayleigh.”
She turns around, confused, until her eyes land on me. I don’t miss the look on her face when she realizes who I am.
“Hey.” She says, and that voice hits me right in the chest.
“What’s up?”
Her phone in her hand lights up and she glances down at it. “Just going to the coffee house.”
“Mind if I join you?”
“I do, actually.”
The answer that comes from her mouth has me taken back a bit. I should have expected it, but a part of me hoped she was just in a bad mood last night. “For real?”
“Yes, Hayden.” She crosses her arms.
“It’s Holden.” I correct.
“Whatever. Look, I know you’re used to always getting your way, but that’s not going to happen with me.”
My eyebrows furrow, and my mouth opens before I can think it through. “Do you know how many girls would kill to have my attention?”
No, you moron! Shut up! You’re only making it worse!
She chuckles humorlessly and runs her fingers through her hair. “Oh, trust me, I do. My roommate happens to be amongst them.” She pats her hand against the center of my chest. “Go get coffee with one of them.”
With that, she walks away – not even sparing a second to glance back at me. Meanwhile, I’m left standing alone, shell-shocked and spellbound. The feeling of where her hand just was burns my skin, making my whole body crave her touch again. What is this girl doing to me, and why doesn’t my brain seem to work whenever I’m around her?
I THROW MYSELF BACK onto my bed, listening to the sound of Brandon cracking up into the phone. When I explained what happened, he absolutely lost it. Now, it’s been five minutes and he’s yet to stop laughing long enough to get a single word out. A few more seconds later, he finally manages to calm down.
“Are you done finding humor in my misery?” I deadpan.
He sighs. “I mean, I always said karma was going to break your heart.”
“I didn’t get my heart broken.” I chuckle. “Let’s not make it out to be more than it is.”
“Then tell me, what is it exactly?”
I pout. “I was hoping you could explain it.”
He’s quiet for a moment before finally speaking. “I think you finally met your match, and you don’t know how to deal with it.”
“Really, Captain Obvious? That’s what you’ve got for me?” My frustration is evident but my tone holds no venom. “What the hell do I do about it?”
“I don’t think there’s much you can do right now. You just have to either try forgetting about her, or hope she comes around. For starters though, you could stop the arrogant word vomit whenever she’s around.”
“And Bree?”
“That parts all you, man.” He sounds unsure. “Do you like her?”
“I don’t not like her.”
He sighs. “Would you be staying with her because you want her or because she can get you close to Kayleigh?”
“Can I pick both?”
“No.”
“Then I plead the fifth.”
A low groan comes from the back of his throat. “I can’t say I like this, H. Someone’s going to get hurt and I’d hate for it to be the innocent girl who got caught in the crossfire of your confused boyish heart.”
“Boyish?”
“I said what I said.”
I turn my head and scream into my pillow, before returning to the phone. “You’re right. I have to forget about Kayleigh.”
“So, you’re going to break up with Bree?”
“No.” I answer. “I’m going to be with her. A
real, legitimate relationship.”
He coughs. “That is not where I was going with this.”
“No, I know, but like you said – it’d suck to throw away a good thing. I can have one without the other.”
“If you say so. Just be careful.”
The two of us get off the phone and I stare up at the ceiling. The thought of never having Kayleigh, never hearing the sound of her sweet voice begging for me, makes me feel something I can’t describe. However, it doesn’t change the fact that she can’t stand me. I’m just going to have to move on and mark her down in my books as the one girl I wanted and couldn’t have.
Chapter Six
The next couple of days are spent avoiding Kayleigh at all costs. It’s rather easy to get Bree to come outside without needing to go up to get her. Thankfully, she doesn’t think anything of my refusal to hang out at her place. She understands that I have my own room and she doesn’t. I’d be lying if I said I don’t enjoy hanging out with her. We get along well and she doesn’t panic when I take a step back.
It’s Tuesday morning – earlier than I’d prefer to be awake if I’m not watching the sunrise – and I’m heading into my sociology class. I rub my eye with the back of my hand as I sleepily walk in the room. The thought briefly crosses my mind that I should have gone to bed earlier.
I scan over the room and stop as soon as I see honey brown eyes staring back at me. Kayleigh. As soon as we make eye contact, she turns her attention back down to her computer, but I’m stuck in a trance. Every part of my mind is screaming for me to move, but I can’t. All I can do is stand here and admire her beauty.
“Yo, Rivers!” A voice snaps me out of it. I look up into the back of the room and see Jordan, a guy I befriended last year at a party. “Come sit up here.” I nod, sparing one last glance at Kayleigh as I walk up the steps. “I didn’t see you in here last week.”
“That’s because I wasn’t here.”
“Ah, had a late night?” He questions suggestively.
I shake my head and chuckle. “Nah. My bed messed up my back a bit so I needed a massage.”
“And you couldn’t get a girl to do it for you?”
Internally cringing, I glance over at Kayleigh. I really hope she’s not paying attention, but with my luck, she is. Still, I have a reputation I need to uphold. “I needed an effective one, not a sexual one.”
The professor comes in, silencing us immediately. We all take our seats as the lecture begins. To be honest, I barely pay attention to any of it. I spend most of the class staring at the back of Kayleigh’s head, wondering how she got her hooks in so deep without even trying.
I was doing well with staying away from her. It wasn’t easy, and the image of her has stayed burned into my mind, but I was managing it. Now, I have to see her every Tuesday morning. I don’t know if that makes me excited or completely miserable. The only thing I do know, is that my chances of forgetting about her are all shot to hell now.
Before I even know what hit me, class is being dismissed. We all get up and I watch as she heads out the door. Jordan attempts to talk to me but I quickly dismiss him and race outside. When I see her no more than 100 feet ahead of me, I jog to catch up.
“Kayleigh.” I call out, and it’s like déjà vu.
She turns around and groans when she sees me. “What do you want, Hayden?”
“It’s Holden.” I correct her again, but she just smirks. She’s doing it on purpose. I scratch the back of my head nervously. “Uh, I missed class last week, and I was wondering if I could borrow your notes.” It’s a half assed lie, but it was all I could think of under pressure.
Her eyes narrow on me. “You have friends in the class. If that’s really what you wanted, you would have just asked them instead of chasing me down.”
“Wow.” I look down at the ground and nod, admiring her honesty. “Okay, you caught me.”
“I figured. So, are we done here? Because I’ve got somewhere I need to be.”
As I stand here, looking into her eyes, my chest physically hurts. I want her so bad I’m forgetting how to breathe and yet, she can’t stand to talk to me for more than two minutes. I just wish I could turn back time and not make such a fool out of myself. If she only knew that the guy she sees me as, isn’t me at all... Wait. That’s it.
“Can we just start over?” I suggest.
She watches me curiously. “And why would I do that?”
For a split second, I consider telling her everything that goes through my mind when I see her, but there’s no way I could ever get those words out of my mouth. So, instead, I resort to plan b.
“Because I’m dating your roommate. Bree means something to me, and I’m sure it’s the same for you. It’s only fair to her that we get along.” She sighs, and I can tell she’s thinking about it. I take a chance and place my hand on her arm. “Come on, Kayleigh. Give me a shot. You’ll see I’m not who you think I am.”
Just when it looks like she’s about to cave, a voice interrupts us.
“Holden.” A girl I recognize from Saturday’s party stands next to me. “I forgot to give you my number the other night.” She places a piece of paper in my hand. Once I have it, she reaches up and kisses my cheek. “Call me, sometime.”
She walks away and I wince when I notice the judging look on Kayleigh’s face. Why is the universe so against me when it comes to this girl? Seriously, the one time I actually want to be with someone, and everything is working to make sure it will never happen.
“Alright, I can explain that.” I try.
She scoffs and shakes her head. “Don’t waste your breath. I see you’re exactly who I think you are.”
Despite my calls of her name, she once again walks away and leaves me standing alone in a crowded courtyard. Fuck!
I’M SITTING IN THE kitchen, replaying today’s altercation in my head on a loop. If that bitch hadn’t gotten in the way, Kayleigh and I might, at the very least, be acquaintances right now instead of her hating my guts. Anything would be better than that.
“Woah.” Jason’s voice echoes through the room. I look up to see him coming in with Caleb in tow. “What’s got you all doom and gloom?”
I shake my head. “It’s nothing.”
He hums. “I might believe that if I haven’t known you for the past two years.” Coming around and sitting next to me, he places a hand on my shoulder. Caleb sits across the island from us. “What’s going on in that pretty little head of yours?”
Sighing, I look down at the countertop. “It’s really not a big deal.”
“Oh, my god.” Caleb breathes. “It’s a girl.”
“Yeah, right.” Jason laughs. When I don’t say anything to deny it, his eyes widen. “Holy shit. Is it Bree?”
Caleb snorts. “Do you really think he would look this down if he had feelings for someone who’s crazy about him? Use your brain.”
I throw my head back and groan loudly. “Okay, okay. You’re right. It’s a girl, and no, it’s not Bree.”
“Who is it?” They ask at the same time.
Can I tell them? No. They’d end up tracking her down and the poor girl already hates me enough. She doesn’t need tweedle dee and tweedle dumb harassing her. Besides, the last thing I want is for Bree to find out I have a thing for her roommate.
“I don’t know her name.” I lie. “I ran into her at the dorms after dropping off Bree.”
“And she didn’t tell you her name?” Jason sounds confused.
“No. We didn’t really talk much. Though, the little we did talk went horribly.”
His jaw drops. “You mean there is a girl out there who can resist the Rivers charm?!”
Caleb grabs an apple from the bowl and tosses it at Jason. “Easy Jay. People may start thinking you like Holden.”
He snickers. “Tell that to the chick I banged last night. Now, back to the topic at hand.” He turns to face me again. “What happened?”
This is not a conversation I want to have right now, but I kno
w they won’t leave me alone about it until I tell them. “I just made an ass of myself and now she basically hates me.”
“Ah, a bad first impression.” He nods. “Well, if you want we can stake out the place – find her and get her to give you another shot.”
“No.” I answer way too quickly. “That’s really not necessary.”
His eyebrows furrow. “Dude, whoever this dorm chick is, she’s clearly got your attention. That’s basically impossible. I think it’s definitely necessary.”
“Just… let me handle it.” I practically beg. “If I need your help, I’ll let you know.”
Thankfully, they accept that answer and let it lie. A part of me is relieved, but I still can’t stop wracking my mind about Kayleigh. How she blew me off like I’m the scum of the earth, and the way she thinks of me – I’ve never cared about what people think of me, but she’s different. Her opinion matters more than my own and I don’t know how to fix that.
THE NEXT MONTH FLIES by rather quickly. I find myself looking forward to class on Tuesday mornings, because I get a straight hour of being in the same room as her. When that’s no longer enough, I start going inside to get Bree, rather than just letting her know when I’m outside. It’s not much, but it gives me a small opportunity to talk to her. Although, it never goes well. As I drive to their dorm, past conversations with Kayleigh play in my head.
I knock on the door, expecting Bree to answer. However, it’s Kayleigh that stands on the other side. I’m temporarily stunned by her ability to look so good in just shorts and a t-shirt, but I snap out of it when she makes a sound of disgust.
“Bree, your boyfriend’s here.” She shouts toward the bathroom. I step in and close the door behind me. “She’ll be right out.”
“Okay, thanks.” I say quietly as she returns to her computer and hits play. “What are you watching?”
“Pretty Little Liars.” Her tone is cold.
I nod. “My sister used to watch that show. She flipped when she found out Cece is A.”
Her head whips towards me and she glares. I realize quickly that I just completely ruined the ending for her. In an attempt to make it better, I smile shyly. She groans and shakes her head, shutting her computer and leaving the room.
Awakened in September Page 4